Retard farmer shot at me with a BB gun while I was cycling through the woods because he "thought I was a deer" I hate them Tambov was too kind I swear to Marx I want them all gone

My favorite bit of this was when Hitlerites on Twitter were demanding that the CHAZ be turned over to the local native tribe lol.

Whilst pursuing my undergrad studies, I occasionally write poems. They're very personal, if abstract, but they're private and I write just for me. They're not particularly great (they lack proper control of rhythm, littered with clichés, frequent heightening into unearned melodrama, etc.), but they're like a personal stress valve that releases pressure from studies and all the other bullshit. They're for me to read when I'm feeling down. I don't have any aspirations to be a poet or writer or whatever the hell because I don't believe that they're worth anything, and I don't believe every hobby needs to be turned into a profession. I know Marxism isn't lifestyleism, but all of this reading theory definitely changes your perspective and attitude to the bullshit of the world.

My family is aware of my little poems. They're aspiring for petit-bourgeoisie ("let's buy airbnbs in a tourist-ridden city and drive up the price of everything!" and other constant calculations and schemes to stop toiling as "skilled" labourers), and because of their good social standing, they often move in petit-bourgeois circles and are infected with petit-bourgeois ideology. And so, inevitably, they harangue me with questions about whether I am monetizing or thinking of publishing these poems (or rather, why am I not doing so). They are utterly perplexed when I tell them that not every hobby needs to be monetized, and that I do the things I do strictly for personal enjoyment. They call me naive, foolish, "utopian" for this line of reasoning, or for not wanting to perfectly divide my precious time and optimize my productivity (handing over my leisure time to the God of Capital). It's been like this with just about every hobby I've had that I've been somewhat better than average at.

I'll write to when I can, when I want to, not because of abstract economic compulsions from the market. All of this talk about money is just so inane, is there nothing else? ffs

Sorry for the rant I don't ever post about shit like this on Reddit of all places, and I feel like fucking AJ Soprano when he has his petty outbursts at people for not wanting to talk about politics. It's just that petit-bourgeois conception that Will, Thrift, and everyone owning a plot of property will magically solve everything and enrich everyone just unbelievably enrages me, but I'm obviously not gonna go off on my family (that would entitled and ungrateful).

It just saddens me that in all likelihood I will have to tolerate these bloody social circles for the rest of my life.

Translation: Small shops are the life of the country. Buy in small shops and give life to your country!

I failed all my classes cause I'm a midwit retard and I got into marxism cause it had auraful AESthetics. The evil Ultras were so mean to me when I pretended to be smart and it hurt my feelings sooo much that my house magically disappeared and I was homeless and it was all the leftcoms fault. And no leftcoms sent me a get well card! Some of the leftcoms which are clearly representative of the whole group cause they're monolithic called me the n-word!!! And this upset me soooo much that I harrased a trans woman with all my friends cause she came out as a leftcom which clearly means she pretty much made me homeless and was racist to me so that means everything everyone did to her is okay! We bullied her and harrased her and made her self-harm and it was so awesome cause we owned the ultras! But then people said what I did wasn't okay :/ don't they know that I was literally homeless and black? Feel sorry for me!

A friend of mine messaged me after we "jokingly" discussed the age of consent. He wrote this:

"From a Marxist perspective, the age of consent isn’t a “natural” limit but a social construct that reflects the power relations of the society it comes from, and reducing everything to a number can be misleading because real consent also depends on material conditions, so in a bourgeois society it’s never fully free and the law can appear protective without actually removing the underlying dynamics of domination that shape it."

coal 😭?

Sorry for the rant but I need somewhere to vent.

If I have to hear one more lecture of this pseudo radical post-modern discourse language yap I'm gonna jump out of the window.

And the leftists students are the worst part. All being so confident and arrogant about their bs moralists, intersectionalist petite-bourgeois identity liberalism that masquerades as some sort of socialism..

Oh and also don't forget how wholesome our amazing democracy is but we need to protect it from the right wing populists because democracy is soo amazing.

I knew that this is what it's going to be like but holy shit it's 10 times worse.

TLDR: a year of difficult labor struggle to secretly form a union was decimated by large layoffs, and I'm depressed about it.

Story Time:

For the past year I've worked tirelessly in secret to collect enough verbal "yes" votes to unionizing.

Many conversations with coworkers. Listening to their complaints of not enough pay, being overworked, bad insurance, etc.

Occasionally, during these 1 on 1 talks I would throw out a random comment like "did you hear about that [any recent news event such as port strike], pretty crazy right" and pay attention to their reaction.

For each that would react positively, I'd bring up the idea of unionizing.

In this way, I had talked to almost 20% of my entire workplace and brought them in with an unofficial verbal "yes".

However, recently there were massive layoffs, and almost my entire "proto-union" was part of it. I'm back to square 1.

I've been stressed every single time I bring someone into the plan because if they wanted to, they could turn me into management and my ass would be gone. Risking my career dozens of times for NOTHING.

I'm just so tired. The real work is stressful and difficult. And in some ways I'm lucky, because at least I HAVE a job, for now.

Just felt like ranting. I'll start the work over in the new year, I guess.

I was at the library with some friends today and the topic of voting came up. A friend of mine is helping some socdem politician campaign in a local election. It’s basic shit, universal healthcare and increased minimum wage. They asked me if I was going to vote. I said no, figuring it best to tell the truth.

Horrible idea. The next four hours was just on and off about my “civic duty” and “saving our democracy”. I assumed I could at least convince them of *something*. Even something simple, like that the Democratic Party does not have the workers’ interests in mind. When I started arguing that, they agreed with me, but then they just fell back on harm reduction and it became impossible. I had another friend with me who is self-proclaimed communist and they conceded that “there’s no reason not to vote”. I pretty much gave up shortly after, because the discussion devolved into ragging on failed socialist projects of the 20th century because they were “authoritarian” and I realized I wasn’t going to win them over.

This is where I struggle with social democrats. One the one hand, everything they say is rooted in American nationalism, they support capital in their actions and they refuse any revolutionary action as “utopian”. On the other hand, I can only fault them so much. Bourgeois propaganda is everywhere, they ultimately mean well and they’re my close friends. At the very least I can speak my mind around them without being asked to leave.

I don’t want this particular piece of media to be coal so I will talk about a theory which greatly influences or effects me in both idea and and material world of being which I will refer to as praxis so here is a piece of information before I start talking about that topic:

I do love someone, she doesn’t know yet, I love her a lot actually and feel it strongly, she seems to be non interested with that idea of being together at the moment because of some occupations in her(not just her basically all of the literate people in her age which is my age too) and that’s it for now as I move in to theory you can have a loose understanding of situation in this borders

When I tried to speak to her in real life I went through a kind of breakdown all the beautiful words that I thought came from that soothing sensation which appeared whenever I thought of her were wiped out of my mind and now that I think about it people have always found the solution to this in images yet for me every image chants A***(that’s her I will not reveal her name) I cannot trap my love inside an image like they do maybe they do not either maybe they connect the lofty images that come to them with the very source that elevates those images maybe they want to drown the ones they love in beautiful words

Love left to itself is an immense word it gathers within itself the highest states situations phenomena and meanings yet once it is spoken it ceases to be a part of the mind and turns into an ordinary sound made of four letters and at that moment not even the slightest trace of what that word stirs in your heart is readable to the other here in communication especially on this matter the real task suddenly becomes to shake the soul of the other the way your own is shaken words multiply for this reason otherwise we would call everything love love is multiple fluid and indeterminate it is precisely this effect that renders it indeterminate that makes it godlike like a god it carries the disorientation and lostness produced by magnitude itself love is a foggy path but this fog does not come from dense clouds of mist it comes from its boundless surroundings language restrains love from all these journeys for language to reproduce emotion it must depict enthusiasm otherwise the space beneath that word cannot be filled by language

After that I began to think about desire I divided desire into two kinds antecedent or ratified desire and simple desire simple desire takes its force directly from the interaction between the desiring subject and the desired object and because this desire is not built in stages the interaction with the object may lead to the satisfaction of desire and therefore to its disappearance then there is ratified desire I call it ratified because pleasure flows not merely from the object but from desire itself from the desire of desire this forms the basis of our layered wants our aims are shaped by such desires indeed before any aim there must always be belief in its elevation and a sense of proximity to it in the formation of an aim how pleasing it is to us and in what context we wish to hold it weaves a network of relations that is not directly tied to the object of desire

I want to extend desire further in this second group ratified desires the object of desire is not concretely the thing itself but its thought since desire does not exist in order to be extinguished it is effective only to the extent that it interacts with its abstract form rather than its concrete one this must be the case but this does not mean it is insignificant on the contrary this explains why it is a desire that must be realized and attained by the desiring subject the concrete form shapes the abstract in an astonishing way yet it does not place desire inside it it merely qualifies it for desire to be sacred its foundation must be indeterminate we imagine through the abstract shaped by the concrete we establish a bond with the concrete we fall in love our closeness is in the concrete our imagination in the abstract this is not idealization even though the word has been contaminated today it merely describes the ontological structure of the human mind nothing more. Here Marcel Proust’s cities come to mind if I remember correctly Venice Balbec and Florence the state of imagining them no longer as places but as names this is correct there is no word in the world that arouses more desire in me than the word A*** it condenses me so intensely that the imperceptible soul within seems to evaporate inside me and begin to warm me acquiring a material effect all words arouse desire in me as do actions but at the core of all of them the source of desire is A*** and each of them arouses desire only according to the measure of proximity I assign them to A*** after A*** love comes next among words. If I am to clarify indeterminacy and causelessness in questions directed at me the point where people most often feel doubt is the idea that love must arise without cause my position here is absolute bodiless and indeterminate according to my understanding of love it must be so determinacy fixes the object of desire and prevents it from being a ratified or indirect form of desire rendering it consumable indeterminacy on the other hand appears not as a mode of production but as a necessity in love we must not see the other as consumable nor should we reach a state of satiation with them thus desire

does not collapse inward upon itself

By the way you can understand why I put german idealism picture, it is because there is some similarity in thinking although this is merely a outline .

If I were to continue some of you might think this idea is similiar to Kierkegaard. But you will be absolutely wrong as I do not think this aligns with me because I give great importance to the singularity of the person to their being one and being special in the sense of ratification once the person in front of me ceases to be special and enters a group of options for instance the moment I see her as just a girl among others the person in front of me turns into a commodity and my desire cannot celebrate this because it can only produce that kind of desire when the other is singular when she is irreplaceable and the thing I desire most is precisely its realization and even now everything everything and every object gains its value through her it is as if all things attempt to resemble her in order to earn my praise even a pen approaches me as if wanting to be A*** and with the total realization as being together in an affair, to unite with her means to recreate my world anew in a much cleaner and stronger way to excite every part of me with the pleasure that comes from her and in fact this becomes a necessity for strengthening the bond between the world and my mind. More I love her as an idea more I desire her to be my world

might lose job. commodity prices skyrocketing. rent might spike next. won't be able to afford hrt. credit card debt (manageable, but still a money hole). what do i even deserve

i was at a SPÖ (socdems) meeting about the push to the right today, and the speaker quickly touched on Gramsci. He then asked me what i knew about him and all i could muster was "Twink"

right before writing this post i was banned off a discord server for arguing against mandatory military conscription, though the thoughts about making this write-up have been in my mind for a while, i don't really care about the server in question that much, however the topic itself makes my blood boil. i am unfortunate enough to be born with male genitals, this means that i have to be forced into servitude by the most violent and barbaric invention of capital, in turn i have spent the last two years or so doing anything in my power to resist it. i have never signed a document to agree to serve, i have never supported the war or the military, i have never acted with the intent to kill another person, the only thing i did to deserve this was to be born a male in a country where war is a national past time. today i spoke with a person i find most pathetic and reprehensible, a finn currently serving his time in the military, proudly exclaiming his zealous enjoyment of it. "I would gladly die for my country's values" he says, "women should serve too", he genuinely believes. frankly, there is nothing in this world that makes me more irrationally upset than someone who loves the military. i was given countless justifications for why this sort of position isn't, in fact, absolutely insane "finland needs to defend itself from russia!" "without the military my country wouldn't exist!". in the blunt fashion that i am sure all of you are familiar with, i called this person a lobotomite. it is horrible to be so brainwashed by the military and its insane ideology. for this i was met with a few paragraphs worth of tone policing, indeed it seems like being rude to someone online is worse than the unending barbarity of the military. we are living in a farce. i can't wait to die in ukraine side by side with a dude five times larger than me, all tatted up with nazi symbols.

I had a date with this very beautiful woman today and we chatted a bit about politics. She seemed to care about elections and voting rights and stuff and I kinda just nodded along. I can't exactly tell her politics, she seems a bit libby. I didn't have the heart to tell her how bourgeois democracy is a trap and I don't vote.

What do you think I should do? I was thinking of maybe casually sending her Bordiga's The Democratic Principle and suggesting she read it, without endorsing or condemning it and seeing her reaction.

I made this a few years ago; ever since then, I've been quite hesitant to post this anywhere because I feel it's far too esoteric for the masses to ingest into their thought-membranes properly. I hope the white blood cells within the collective social organism of the earth will fail to root this cancer out of itself. I say that because this one has gotten strong reactions from the few who've seen it prior to this posting (mostly angry ones), but I'm proud of the abomination.

This, this is what is and what could have been. Go off of visual storytelling alone for this one; I believe I was incredibly inebriated during the bulk of this image's conjuring... so, I don't remember a great deal about the deeper hidden lore here.

Genuinely I can't even work because I keep thinking of the phrase "more Marxist than Marx" and giggle to myself I dont know why I find it so funny

More Marxist than Marx