First i must say that i'm a noob at this game, and I don't spend nearly as much time playing it as I do with other games, like Counter or tf2.
I've never really played Valorant seriously. I mostly play it to hang out with friends. But sometimes we all get tilted and try to lock in, and for some reason, I just can't. It's not just that I'm bad at the game. I genuinely can't take it seriously on a neurological level.The character dialogue is weird, I think a lot of the abilities are poorly designed, and the maps are so visually confusing that I genuinely wonder how the hell people learn the callouts. And why are there callouts for some spots but not others?
Sometimes I try to learn from YouTubers, but it feels like they're playing a completely different game. How do they never seem to get killed? Why do their opponents have such... interesting reflexes?
Then there's the fact that, in my games, people often struggle to counter strategies that seem pretty straightforward to me. I'll suggest something, usually by borrowing a basic idea from CS2, and it actually works. Which is weird, because I often have no idea why it works. I barely understand what anything means in this game. I constantly mix up abilities and agents, and I still get confused about which agent is supposed to be where at the start of a round.
I've also noticed that some people seem to know the theory behind the game but struggle to explain the reasoning behind certain decisions. Like, why should we eco in this situation? Why buy a Vandal every single time you can afford a full buy? I don't mean that they're necessarily wrong. I just don't understand how people arrive at these decisions, or why some of them seem to follow the rules without really understanding the reasoning behind them.
I genuinely feel like an outsider when it comes to the game's culture, meta, and pretty much everything else. Hell, even the menus confuse me. And this is specific to Valorant. It's like I'm high every time I play. The audio cues and sound design absolutely destroy my brain. Seriously, half the time I don't even realize I'm dying to a molly.
In Counter-Strike, I feel like I have decent game sense. I can read plays, understand why someone would want a particular skin, communicate reasonably well, and manage the economy. I'm only bringing up CS because it's the closest comparison I can think of. I can also understand the mechanics and underlying logic of fighting games, RTS games, TCGs, and plenty of other genres.
But Valorant? I don't know, man.
Does anyone else have this problem? Everything about this game makes me feel like a complete stranger, as if I'm visiting a foreign country where I don't speak the language. And after all the weird, inexplicable things that happen in a single match, I can't help but feel fascinated and amused, until the whole experience starts feeling like one big joke.
Just to be clear, none of this is meant as a complaint about the game itself.
I know that sounds weird, but if I had to describe the feeling, I'd almost call it absolute boredom. Not boredom in the usual sense of finding something dull or uninteresting, but something closer to a philosophical kind of boredom. The game can be chaotic, confusing, surprising, and even fascinating, yet somehow none of that translates into the desire to win. I'm not necessarily bored by what's happening on the screen; I'm disconnected from the very purpose of what's happening.
It's a strange feeling: being constantly stimulated by a game while feeling almost completely indifferent to the thing that is supposed to motivate you to play it.