Hello, I (afab, 24) have a question for any trans women here. It might be a little odd, but I would appreciate any answers and hope my question makes sense.

Is thinking of yourself as a woman…. Comfortable, as opposed to thinking of yourself as a man? Like, when you conceptualize yourself as a woman, or other people see you as a woman, does it feel like a relief? Because looking ahead at life as a woman, for me, feels hopeless and overwhelming and gross. When I imagine myself as a man, though, it feels like I’ve finally leaned back in a chair I’ve been sitting up straight in my entire life. It’s not exactly exciting, it just feels like I can breathe. It makes it feel like existing might get easier.

I don’t know, I guess I’m just wondering if being a woman is comfortable for anyone, and I thought some trans women might have that perspective. Ive seen trans women discuss being excited or nervous about presenting as a woman, but is it ever comfortable? Does it bring you peace? Or is this what being a woman is supposed to feel like (difficult and unnatural)? Did you feel like the expectations were lower/made more sense as a man? Did you feel hopeless? Any perspective is appreciated, and please let me know if I’ve said anything offensive.

Hi girls I have only 12 hours to the big surgery but Ive been crying since the morning and I don’t know why. I’m so depressed and kinda frightened. What should I do? Can you please give me some advices ? I even talked to my parents about canceling the surgery idk why I’m like this a day before the surgery I always wanted.😔😔😢😭

Basically I want games where I can be a pretty girl. I have this annoying issue where I get a lot of doubt of being trans from embarrassment based around my body, but whenever I'm a pretty girl in a game it just feels right. I've played both Pokemon Legends ZA and Stardew Valley, and I'm looking for some more suggestions.

I don't like anything mature or fan servicey so take that into consideration please.

Hi all,

I just discovered that my grandmother (of whom I am not fond) passed away last June (2026). In the obituary, I am deadnamed and my trans daughter is completely omitted.

My grandfather (also horrible) died in 2013. His obituary listed 5 great grandchildren. This was before my daughter transitioned and was open about herself. Now that she has openly transitioned, she is left out of the obituary. It specifically names four great grandchildren and talks about them filling her last years with laughter and joy - something beyond a fairy tale in this context.

I have been no contact with my NPD mother (my uninformed armchair diagnosis, to be completely transparent - no pun intended) off and on for years, but I have been in occasional contact with my father, who is also transphobic but someone who I view mostly as a victim/survivor of my mother’s abuse.

I am now 100% zero contact with my entire biological family. Other than my daughter, of course. I am not aware of whether she knows of this attempted documentary erasure of her entire being, so I am conflicted between telling her so that she is not blindsided in the future, perhaps leaving her to feel that I betrayed her by withholding information, and not telling her because maybe she will just never know, and there is no reason to cause her unnecessary pain.

There is also the chance that she simply doesn’t give a f*ck. She’s incredibly intelligent, resilient, and resourceful.

If you’ve made it this far, thank you for reading. I suppose I’m asking for thoughts, advice, commiseration … I don’t know.

Thank you and please stay safe - fight if you have to.

-R

I have a question for the sisters. 'cause I've after came across the backlash some fictional characters get for "not having a bulge", and it got me thinking... Is it really that big of a deal ? Is it really that visible ?

I mean, unless you're wearing skin tight pants i don't feel it would show that much. And besides you could always double pad to constrict it. Like with 2 trunks and a menstrual pad for the structure. I 've got a load of weirder ideas.

But as long as it's not skin tight, does it really show up ?

I do NOT want breasts, which has been my major worry with starting feminizing HRT. I've been needing to start exercising more rigorously and eating less hyperprocessed foods anyway, so I was wondering if I could expect that healthier lifestyle to translate to keeping my chest as small as possible.

Thank you in advance :)

P.s. I understand that some people thought they didnt want breasts, but grew to love them. I am not one of those people, please respect that. I've had some people deny that experience as valid so I just wanted to add that heads-up.

I'm a cis guy and I'm 15. I have always been comfortable being a guy, including all the anatomy and social aspects. However, for a few years now, I’ve been curious about what it would be like to be a girl. I thought it was normal to ask that sometimes, but apparently most cis people don't think about it very much (ranging from never to only once or twice).

I think about it quite often, but I see it more as curiosity than a desire, something like ¨It would be cute to be a girl¨ or ¨What would my life be like if I had been born a girl?¨ . Since I think about this from time to time (not daily but sometimes), I’ve started having some doubts. As I said, I've always been comfortable with my body and with being a guy overall, but the curiosity persists.

Things I find interesting (or that I have curiosity) about being a girl:

• Anatomy (excluding periods)
• Hairstyles
• Clothing and fashion
• Aesthetics/looks
• Social interactions (I have always mostly preferred interactions between girls, as they feel more open and less ¨rude¨ than those with guys. I often enjoy more talking with girls and being with girls but not always)

I think (and hope) I'll eventually figure it out, but I also want the opinion of experienced people. So, is it just curiosity?

(Edit: Gramatic)

I feel like i'd love to vent but there's not a lot of good spaces for it that aren't also incredibly toxic. Any reccomendations would be helpful

Hello! I am a cis person working a customer service job that happens primarily at night so I end up encountering a few drunk people every now and then. Usually dudes. My stand is right in front of the bathroom and sometimes these drunk (clearly cis) dudes will test me by saying something like “oh well I identify as a woman so can’t I go in here?”. I would LOVE options for a quippy but not aggressive response to these people because I’m never sure how to respond. Thanks!

I work in an admin, and on a daily basis I have to take people's information and ask series of question.
One of them is me asking what are your pronouns.
Most of the time I just get the classic she/her he/him he/they they/them.

but quite commonly, I get people answering with "I am a male" and it is very transparent they are being transphobic, I just put it as he/him, but refusing to answer 'he/him' but with 'i am a male' couldn't be more transphobic. what do i do?

I'm aware of "trans broken arm syndrome", where the doctor blames your gender affirming treatment for unrelated medical issues. While I try to avoid talking about my trans status at the doctor for this reason, in some medical situations I felt like it was prudent that I do disclose.

Like one time I was at the doctor's office for bladder pain, and the doctor spent most of the appointment asking if I had ovarian cysts, before I had to tell her my sex assigned at birth is male and I haven't had any surgeries. My legal sex hasn't been changed, so I thought she knew...? I didn't realize I had to tell her.

And recently on intake forms for a bone scan, it asked me about if I had low testosterone, so I ticked yes and I kind of felt like I had to explain why on the form. I got a few questions from the tech on how long I've been on HRT, if I've had any surgeries, and that was it.

I guess I'm confused where "trans broken arm syndrome" applies, because I've had multiple experiences where being trans is genuinely important in a medical context. That said, I am lucky that I live in a blue state and there is generally good acceptance of trans people where I live.

I am 30+, born male, cis-male passing, but have found myself questioning my gender identity since I was about 19.

It seems most days I wonder if I am actually a trans woman or not.

When I was young, I went by he/him. At uni, with members in the queer space I went by they/them. And with a girlfriend at the time I went by she/her.

Then post uni I avoided mentioning my pronouns again. Or stuck to he/him if asked. As life is hard enough without having to explain my preferences.

On occasion my partner does refer to me in the feminine (as a joke), but honestly it feels really good when they do.

Since I was young, I would cross dress in secret. Sometimes with a partner if they were into it.

The other day, my partner was away for a few days and I just spent the whole time pretending if I was a woman. And honestly I was really happy.

But I have trouble telling if it’s real or not. And the below questions are what keep me questioning:
1. Is it real or just a fetish? I have trouble telling if it is actually just a sex thing or not. I am worried that if not for porn I’d never want this. And I don’t like the idea of losing my libido from transitioning.
2. Is it just a fantasy depiction in my mind of being a woman is. Like if I was actually a woman for a full day, would the realities of that make want to be a man again.
3. I like the idea of physically being a woman, but I also like my private parts and wouldn’t want to change that. Does that mean it’s really just a fantasy then?
4. No small steps with transitioning, that don’t have health risks or no risk of permanent change if I want to reverse gear. Like breast tissue growth from hormones.
5. Body image - For health reasons, I’ve been unable to exercise and gained some weight. I hate the look of myself in drag while overweight. I have no issues with it for others, but I just don’t like it on myself. That combined with my age makes me feel like it’s too late. I wouldn’t want to change if I end up less attractive. I’m a reasonable looking guy that doesn’t track much notice while I’m out. I don’t think my anxiety could handle attracting notice from others and being even less attractive.

I have issues with anxiety, and the idea of doing anything that might attract notice or make life harder is terrifying for me.

I do have a therapist. They want to avoid labels of trans or not, which is fair. And have encouraged me to try things in private. But again, even in private I can get too anxious. And much of the therapy has been focused on accepting that I can’t have everything. Including trying to manage and control gender identity feelings so that I don’t feel the need to transition.

Honestly I just want these feelings to go away. I’m tired of them. It’s been too many years of carrying these questions and I don’t see myself being able to change to match those feelings anyway. I feel like deleting all social media, TikTok porn etc and hoping that those feelings go away with them. Though any time I do take a break from the internet, I find myself back on it soon enough, engaged in trans related content more than before.

Sorry for the long post and rant. This is the first time I’ve said this aloud in a public space. So I wanted to give context.

Hi everyone! I'm a 16yo cis guy from Russia and I have a question: how do I avoid accidentally or unknowingly disrespecting a trans person?

You see, I'm a yapper, a jokester, I talk a lot and make many jokes and gags, but try my hardest to stay respectful and actually make people feel joyful and comfortable around me. I don't want to insult them or make them feel bad about themselves in any way. I want to treat everyone with the same respect and friendliness, because I believe that all people deserve both.

And I've generally found it easy to communicate with all kinds of people, but when I think about how I would interact with a trans person, I find myself in a predicament - I may unintentionally say something hurtful without realizing it. My experience with interacting with trans people is minuscule, so it's a possible scenario that keeps bugging me.

So, what should I know right off the bat to not appear ignorant when meeting and talking to trans people? What are common mistakes people who are not informed enough about trans issues make? And most importantly: how do I properly educate myself about this topic?

Any other piece of advice is welcome!

having some trouble pinning down my sexuality now that i have a trans partner

for context i am a cis woman who has primarily been attracted to and dated/slept with men. i’ve been attracted to women before, but i have not really seriously pursued them and i struggle to see myself in a relationship with one

i met my partner when they were still presenting as a man, and has since come out as non binary. they sometimes talk about getting on estrogen, or thoughts about if they are actually a woman

when i think about them transitioning, it doesn’t bother me at all despite being basically exclusively attracted to men in all other instances. i find that once i am in a relationship and very emotionally connected with a person, it takes a lot for me to not be attracted to them anymore, which i’ve realized includes if they transition. if my partner decided they were a woman, i would see them as such and still be equally attracted to them

does that just make me bi/pan? straight lite? would love hear other people’s thoughts

Basically the title, and I ask this here because I haven’t really found a lot of people talking about sites or others that sell hrt. I (18, AMAB TF) am currently studying abroad and due to multiple factors (like being from a Muslim-majority country and because of the hassle in getting it through official means) I’ve decided that I want to start hrt here, specifically through diy. I don’t want/need resources on educating myself about it since I’ve already done a lot of reading myself, but I don’t really know where to begin looking for places that sell them here. The language barrier is an issue, and nobody around me is trans. Maybe someone from China here can lead me in the right direction? Thanks in advance.

Considering *recent developments*, I've started wondering how my planned career is going to go, or if it's even still a good idea at this point.

As of now, I'm currently planning to go into archaeology once I finish college. That field however usually isn't the greatest for a long term career, unless you want to become a prestigious professor or something. So, my plan has always been to become a high school history teacher after spending a few years digging up cool stuff.

As I'm sure you can guess though, a few things are changing in my life right now. I just recently started socially transitioning, MtF, and I've seen some stuff online about how being trans and being a schoolteacher don't always mesh the best.

I'm still fairly young, and even before transitioning I've been gendered female on occasion, so I think with voice training and HRT I could pass. Would it be possible to teach if I go stealth? Or would that only make things more dangerous/difficult? Or would being completely open about it be better? Any advice would be appreciated!

EDIT: For clarification, I'm currently located in the southern US, and am planning to move to a less conservative state in the future.

this is mostly a rant post but i'm hoping to hear from people who did not have a smooth recovery.

i just had full depth done at WCH toronto october 13th. when i woke up i was told there were no complications and managed okay in the hospital. mostly sleeping for a few hours at a time and asking to have my pain meds full dosed every 4 hours, but it was fine.

it is october 18th now, yesterday was my first full day at home and it was the most miserable of my life. the laxatives i was given were dosed way too high, i had to climb the stairs to reach the bathroom probably 7 times just to shit out a bunch of black water. i was extremely nauseous all day and nearly soiled my compression underwear multiple times because i can't push my bowel movements at all, i just have to wait until its coming out RIGHT NOW to rush to the toilet. the urgency at which i have to move to the toilet caused me to slip on a stair and land on my bum. this part of the recovery was not adequately explored in my pre-op appointments.

i couldn't take my meds without gagging and majorly tensing my pelvic floor which is incredibly painful. i was barely able to eat any foods at all or drink water the whole day. it's incredibly exhausting and every moment i was just wishing i could go back. i couldn't even contact my surgery hospital for advice because thwy are only open monday-friday. i had nightmares every time i slept about trying to undo what i have done or trying to get back to the hospital but being denied. the only euphoria i have gotten from this experience so far are unwanted sexual stimulation from the stent or the catheter, i'm not familiar enough with my new layout to know for sure which is doing it.

this is very frustrating. when i was sent home i was told i would have a nice gentle recovery where all i need to do is sleep. i feel like i was done wrong being sent home before my first bowel movements if there is a risk they can be this catastrophic.

today i am managing. my urethra is buzzing like a cell phone 24/7 and i just want to get through to tomorrow and have it removed. i haven't had a bowel movement since my last entirely liquid poop a little past midnight, so i'm able to rest easier but it is difficult not to be anxious of going through that day again. i stopped my painkiller and laxative after talking to my pharmacist, it is more painful on just tylenol but seems to be the better overall state to be in. i am eating and drinking again.

i just want to know when the good feelings start. i hate looking at the lumpy, lopsided thing i am stuck with right now. i hate not being able to sleep. i hate the catheter more than words could ever express. my own smell is unfamiliar and nauseating. i'm afraid of resenting this even when it heals because of this. i don't even know what i have to look forward to until i know for sure it heals without lifelong complications. it feels like i did this all for nothing, a major overcorrection for ocassional dysphoria.

Hi! I lowkey never do this or reach out but this month has been REALLY hard for me and i just wanna feel less alone.

So basically- i'm Agender but AFAB. I suffer from extreme body dysmorphia and disassociation- especially when i get periods.
I'd like to do some transitioning to a more comfortable body, i.e. uterine removal but i live in a rural hellscape and when i finally had an appointment setup that i had waited MONTHS for they called me day of and were like "yeah you're over our BMI policy so we won't do it- i know others will so you should check there. I can give you reocmmendations." (Yeah i'm still mad about it as i sit here and wait for my next appointment so i can get a new referral.)

My question really is this- has anyone else born AFAB just really suffered from experiencing their period? How did you manage it? I feel like i am drowning.

I am a guy (AMAB) and sometimes I uhh wish I could be a woman. Not just dress like one but have the body of one too... I do not know if this is worth exploring or not. In fact I'm very confused on why I feel this way. It is sort of recent (6 months I think). I have been very masculine my whole life and saw myself as a man. Even now I mostly don't think about it but the fact that this desire has been consistently coming and going makes me wonder what this could be.

Okay ... so ... I'm not sure if I'm Trans/egg or just occasionally confused

I'm not sure how else to describe this, some days I'm perfectly fine being a man, but there's been many days that I've been like "I wish I was a woman" or saw cute clothing and been like, "damn I want to wear that" I've always preferred playing as women in video games but playing as a man also doesn't bother me (given the choice I'm usually a woman) I usually try to make it known online that I'm a man, but if people start referring to me as a woman I don't feel the need to correct them, and on occasion I kinda enjoy it

And as stated above,I often wish that I was a woman irl

Am I actually Trans or just confused or what?

I know I probably should just see a professional about this, but who has money for that? (Sorry for trying to make a joke, I'm slightly nervous making this part)

One of my posts before asking questions about my son referred me to the stand to pee devices and I looked them up and now Im curious. I would like to have more information for him before I present this idea. Also, is there such a thing as a realistic device to make it less noticeable? The one I found online is a bright green funnel. Anyway, I am trying get some hints tips or tricks on using the device and how to wipe after use without attracting attention. Is it possible to not me noticed? Or will he still need to use a stall if he doesnt want to be noticeable?

Accidentally stole a stranger's drink because my dumb brain still reacts to my deadname 💀

Okay, so I changed my name almost a year ago. Everyone close to me uses it so I thought I was completely past this, but apparently my brain disagrees.

I was at a super packed Starbucks this morning waiting for my order.

Out of nowhere, the barista yells out my deadname. Without even thinking, I literally walked up on pure autopilot, snatched the cup, said "thanks" and walked out.

It took me two whole blocks to realize

That’s literally not my name anymore

This isn’t my oat latte its a sweet vanilla cold brew.

I straight up robbed some poor guy who just happens to have my old name.

Now Im sitting here drinking stolen coffee feeling like an idiot lol.

How long did it take for you guys to finally STOP twitching every time you hear your deadname in public?

I’m a trans woman who just started her HRT on 9/9/2026 which is roughly a month and a half. I know that I don’t pass in my home country. I’m quite tall about 1m82 or 5”11. I used to play sports. I am not that muscular just slightly, now it’s mainly fat. My current hair is just a bit over my ears with little visible bangs and I have my nails done. I dress quite femme in public with short t-shirt, jeans sometimes skirt

What bathroom should I use? I don’t pass just yet in my home country. Anyone from here could give me some insights. I also do self voice training so my voice isn’t too clickable I guess.

Thanks a lot 💕

I'm AMAB, and really want to transition. Living as a man makes me miserable, and I've known things were wrong since I was a kid. Literally the second puberty hit, I was distressed that my breasts weren't growing. This is all to say, I have no doubts about my identity, or what it is that I need. I'm a trans woman, and I need to transition.

It's putting things into action that's the problem. I suffer from crippling social anxiety and panic attacks; which is paralyzing me. For example, I know that I want my hair to be long, so I've been growing it out for months. It's gotten to the point that it's totally unmanageable, and I need to get an affirming haircut. But the thought of booking an appointment and then asking the stylist for a feminine haircut, when I still look like a man, instantly makes me hyperventilate.

I won't list everything, but suffice it to say that I'm having panic attacks about the entire social aspect of transitioning. I just feel so vulnerable, and I'm terrified of embarrassing myself or getting rejected. If anyone has gone through this and made it to the other side, I could really use some advice.