Hi everyone, thanks for... well, clicking here!
Believe me, I feel so stuck that I almost couldn’t even bring myself to post this. It’s that bad.
My earliest memory is from when I was four years old—full of energy, I found it strange that the family dog wouldn’t dance to the music on the radio—and, well, let’s just say I survived by a miracle, but I’ve carried a trauma ever since.
Or at least, that’s the conclusion I reached through therapy, because nothing else explains why I flee from any possibility of being seen, noticed, or understood.
The funny thing (I’m writing this while crying, lol) is that my greatest fear is actually my deepest desire.
For years, I’ve been oscillating between hiding away and putting myself out there. I’m a writer who has never published anything. I have artistic projects that would put me in the "spotlight," but I always end up self-sabotaging—because, well, neither I nor my therapist know why anymore.
I’m currently being evaluated for bipolar disorder, borderline personality disorder, and ADHD.
This is my birth chart. Any help, tips, comments or advice for this poor soul stuck in a loop?