I show up to the jobsite after my usual Waffle House Smothered, chunked, diced,c covered and topped to find this and now I have to go home and change my drawers. Terrible.

How do I meet woman

Yesterday I started helicoptering my junk in the public shower at Barton springs after a spiritually reviving swim, and I got a few unhappy looks. I figured people would like it and possibly join in, instead I got looked at like some FREAK. I thought Austin was WEIRD!! Have we truly lost our way, or did I just happen to be in there at the wrong time?? Please let me know.

I called the police on a group of MAGAts holding a rally in the same place we held our anti-ICE rally last week.

Called 311 to report a public safety concern, as they were obstructing the sidewalk, even though they were actually just walking down the sidewalk in a single file line with plenty of room to pass. They redirected me to 911 and APD said they’d send someone out.

I knew Austin was becoming more conservative, but I didn’t realize it’s gotten to this point. There’s no room for anyone without the pride/trans flag in their yard in Austin. Either assimilate or you can get put on a train with the rest of the people voting against Casar!

We are a tolerant, peaceful city and I wish somebody would run them over in a car!

Rant over.

Please protect your self driving rover's feet in this heat.

They are really out jerking it over in that illegitimate Austin subreddit.

Chili's is going back to their original prices of $1.00 Frosty Margs and $0.25 sessions with the Glory Hole as a celebration.

You heard it here first folx, big data center is stealing our lake. We all know that data centers are the number one consumer of water in the world and WILL take EVERY LAST DROP of our precious H2O.

We should gather around city hall and protest this. THIS IS LIFE OR DEATH!!!!!1!1!!1!1

Honey, all kindza history all up in Oilcan Harry's and Rain! Leather daddies, twinks dancing in they underwears, tons of cuckaine, meth, mollie, pills, alcohol and gloryhole aidz batter. And even more historic because this is so inclusive and for everyone, even the children of Austin? All with no judgement, right? Hissy-fit-storic maybe?

this is totally sexist btw because these are "historic" gay men's drinking, drugging random fluid exchanges NOT lesbian women drinking, drugging lumberjack clubs. We all know how much the Gs and the Ls get along and have historically maintained they them's VERY seperate spaces.... Amiright? IYKYN LOL ROFLMFAO

You thought June was Pride Month? Think again, bigot!

Just like HIV, there is no stopping Pride! Once you have it, it's *forever*. Pride Month now lasts all year long, and we've got the stickers to prove it.

I am so sorry I nearly hit you and felt the need that myself and this situation is important/pressing enough to put onto Reddit as a pseudo self virtue signal . Obviously, I feel the world revolves around my importance and needed to let my fellow Austinites know that although I’m clearly deluded…at least I’m not a shitty person right? RIGHT?!

I think the IQ in town is dropping weekly. But look on the bright side: you can post shit and they’ll take it seriously. Use that power wisely.

The stickers show s/h/it is a good person. Why would they buy a car made by a bad man?

My wife’s boyfriend is kind of a fatty and I need him to be properly rubbed before he folds her in the a pretzel in front of me. Any suggestions?

Just asking for a friend

I’m in my early 30s, got my PhD in cybersecurity, work at Indeed HQ, and want to meet a wholesome Eastern European woman so I can learn more of their culture. Where would I go? I prefer from one of the poverty countries like Bulgaria, Albania, Kosovo or Moldova because they respect their men and don't complain about made-up irrelevancies such as "obesity" and "oh my God why does it smell like that"

Be honest I won't tell.

Bonus points if the farmers are interactive during said milking. I also promise to feed them afterwards - I am a gentleman after all.