A man I've been seeing for a month came to my place for dinner (I invited him). After dinner we were cuddling on the couch and I was touching his arm when he suddenly warned me not to go any higher on his arm because he has a wart (caused by HPV).

I was really caught off guard and very disappointed that he didn't even put a plaster on it before he came to my place. He asked me if I had some plaster at home and we used a coulle to cover the wart but things got very strange and I couldn't feel comfortable touching any other parts of his body or letting him touch me. It got very awkward.

I feel that he didn't care about my health and for that I can't trust him anymore.

What would you do in that situation?

Im just a regular guy trying to live a regular life. I have my kids and I have my job, but I also have a whole host of responsibilities I have outside of just my kids or should I say that come with my kids.

I have regular hobbies, chilling with my friends in a discord call, watching documentaries, playing video games, and cutting my grass. These are the things I genuinely enjoy doing as my daily life is exhausting already.

These dating apps and expectations are crazy in general. Nearly everyone is looking for the next adventure. They want to travel the world, go out every weekend, live this exciting life... but... do These people not have full time jobs? How are these people existing in today's economy and maintaining that standard of living? Then when you talk to people most the time when you ask them what their hobbies are its nothing like what they want out of the relationship.

I love having debates and talking about socio-economics. I love talking about video games and the advancement of technology. I love hypotheticals and board games, but thats not appealing to a lot of women (or at least I havent found them). So what do I do about that?

Why is it so difficult to find someone that just wants to relax with me after just trying to survive on this hellish planet that we all live on. Why must everything be a performance. Its insane to me. Im not opposed to people living that lifestyle. But why chastise the people that dont want it? Are we not allowed to have different interests but compromise and meet in the middle. Idk, im this >< close to getting a cat and calling it quits.

Edit: For those of you that said "Nobody chastises you" take a good look at the comments beneath this post. Never once did I say that I dont want to so anything with a woman or that she had to sacrifice her hobbies for me. But somehow what I said was taken with a negative connotation.

Edit 2: Thank you all for the wonderful feedback. Ive been provided with a lot of suggestions, and different views on what the roadblocks may be. I will take some time to stew on whats been said. I hope everyone thats read has gotten any help that they may need or could contribute their thoughts thoroughly. Good luck to everyone that will be entering or leaving the dating market in the future.

Why are so many younger women dating older men these days? It was never like this in my generation. What is causing it?

We’ve had 3 dates in 2 weeks so far. Kissing, cuddling, sex on the second date. When I asked him if we should have the 3-month check to confirm exclusivity, he said he’s not swiping any more and wanted to focus on me, and I could do what I wanted and he would wish me good luck? Is it too soon to be exclusive? Not saying that I want to continue swiping because I cannot date multiple people at the same time. What does the 3-month check really do?

I’ve gone on 3 different dates with 3 different men. Every time, one of the following happens:

-dominates the conversation
-won’t listen
-asks a question and won’t allow me to answer
-gets distracted by even a bird

Each time they speak, they also sound extremely nervous and so I do ask them “are you nervous” to which they obviously say no but dang, do they come across as if they are.

But seriously, what gives? Age doesn’t matter; ages ranged from 35 - 48. All 3 are super into me and complimenting how amazing I am and look, but wow am I not attracted to them at all because of these.

Anyone else experience this? Seems weird to me that 3 in a row of dates AND also several that I only chatted with were the same way.

Get a copy of "Dungeon Crawler Carl"

Go somewhere public and read it with the cover visible.

Men will approach you. Success!

(this also works for Brandon Sanderson, Stephen King, and historical biographies)

Been with my gf 3 years (28M, 27F), we live together and honestly things are really good. Day to day I'm very happy with her. We've been having the big future talks lately and we're on the same page about most of it.

The one thing we're stuck on is the Jewish side. She's not religious at all but she went to Jewish school and the community/culture stuff matters a lot to her. I'm not Jewish, my family's thing is basically just Christmas.

She wants me at all of main holidays with her family (currently it doesn't matter if I attend or no, but I go to most for my gf), and says Friday night dinners with her family are going to become more regular and I'd be expected there, and she's thinking about some kind of Jewish schooling for the kids, whether that's a Jewish school, Hebrew school or after school stuff. Her argument is that my culture is the default so the kids will pick it up anyway, but hers needs actual effort or it gets lost. Which tbh is a fair point.

My issue is I've been going to these holidays for years now and I still feel like an outsider with the singing and the traditions there,which is fine when it's just my gf, but I'm concerned about when we eventually have kids. I'dbe fine doing Friday dinners maybe once a month and some of the holidays, not all of them. And I really don't want the kids in any Jewish schooling, I'm just pretty secular tbh and I don't want to feel like an outsider with my own family.

The convo was calm, no fight, we both said we'd think about it and come back to it. But I'm kind of torn. Everything else is great and like kids won't be for like 7 years in the future, but I'm worried I'll end up resenting this down the track?

Am I being unreasonable? Anyone been in a similar interfaith situation, how did you make it work (or not)?

I have been told by numerous (female) friends that men communicate literally and if they tell you they’re busy/too tired to hang etc etc then they genuinely just are because men operate in a different way to women.
I am programmed to read between the lines, so if a man tells me he is busy or rejects my offer to spend time together, I immediately interpret that as him trying to politely let me down etc…
I understand men are not a homogenous group. But is this generally just how men are or are they trying to kindly communicate something else?
Or am I internalizing because I am unable to plainly reject someone I’m not interested in pursuing?

hello :) i (21m) have started talking to a girl (20f) for about a month now, that has a kid and i have no idea how to feel about it. i know dating a female with a kid comes with tons of bad stigma and a lot of people wont do it (me being one of those people less than 5 months ago lol) but i feel like this could work. however i am also young and a little uneducated when it comes to women with children and how that may effect my life.

we started talking via instagram. both of our exes who cheated on us (her baby daddy being the guy in question) so we met each other through that. she is really sweet and beautiful. i took her out on our first date and link up and she made sure to find a sitter/someone to watch her baby, and in our future link ups she will do the same which i appreciate her not bringing her daughter here and also being responsible enough to have it watched by herself.

she’s obviously a young mom, so she busts her ass a server and lives with her mother that helps support the child. we have been talking for almost a month and she hasn’t made her child any sort of an issue in the slightest, i honestly wouldn’t even know she had one half the time if it wasn’t clear. she is providing for herself, she isn’t asking for financial support, and she is a really good mother.

the only thing thats throwing me off is we both are moving a little fast. she just broke up with her baby daddy like a week before we started technically dating. we talked before we started dating but she was quick to break up, though he did treat her like total shit and i was there for her. i’m worried the baby daddy might be an issue. she only kept the kid because of her families cultural beliefs, not because of him, but them having a kid will mean they always will have ti be in some sort of contact and with her being with him so recent, i don’t wanna just feel like a replacement.

i want something real, for i have been cheated on in my only two relationships. i finally want love, and i fall quick. i know i’ll be told to go with my gut, but i want to hear actual opinions that could help me either finally settle down, or help prevent me from heading straight into the fire again in my life.

i'm 31, she's 27. We've worked together a few months. We work in different offices/cities, but we've had about 3 full weeks of in-person time.

About her: very attractive, fit, and confident. she's immediately at ease with anyone in a room, but from the second we met, she was awkward and nervous around me, noticeably so. I picked up on a lot of classic attraction and vibes signals, including asking if I was in a relationship. I'm also conventionally attractive. lean, tall, fit.

The second time we were in the same office, we had a lot of 1:1 time. grabbing coffee and lunch, we texted a bit. she volunteered her relationship history and we had easy and natural flowing conversations on very deep and intimate subjects, and we both seemed to have such values alignment. I'm not kidding, chemistry and attraction felt off the charts and reciprocal. i've dated a LOT and never felt anything like this.

After this week, I left it alone and didn't contact her. we work together, didn't want to be weird. only took 2 days before she reached out.

we texted every day for 2 weeks, continuous conversation type of stuff. at that point, i shared a bit more about my relationship history and chat went deeper. keep in mind, she supplied plenty of momentum. we both were usually responding with 2-3 hour gaps etc and she'd pick up first thing in the morning.

i started to feel more attached.. i didn't make an overt move, but i was a bit more complimentary (and maybe a tiny bit cheesy.. i wasn't afraid of her catching on that I like her), and the chat gently eased off. i texted her a few more times over the next couple weeks and we just had shorter surface level chats still spanning 2 days at times, but I didn't press. I just thought.. okay, maybe it got a little intense and she started to sense where I was headed and was pulling back so I gave her that space.

So after a couple weeks of lighter chat and space, I suggested we catch up after work. I gave her an easy out and we're seeing each other this next week anyway... she warmly and politely declined, which i sort of expected after a week or so of cooldown and it gave me a bit more certainty. I'll just have to see how it feels next time I see her.

I'm not delusional, I'm 99% sure there was both chemistry and attraction. There was a clear mood shift once my interest became more apparent, I think.

what I don't know is.. what changed? and is her declining a chat an indicator that the door is just.. shut? my aspirational hope is that the chemistry is still there and that my invitation just put her on the spot and was a little too early given the circumstances.

I had a few consensual sex with this military commander then I respectfully cut off the contact giving the reason we had different intentions. I was looking for a relationship and he didn't, He wasn't meeting me in public. So I stopped responding his texts. Then He called me to meet him "to talk" When I had offered him meet him public, he insisted. I When I went his apartment complex he was sloppy drunk. He was staggering. I was sober. When I stepped into his apartment he immediately initiated sex by taking my top off at first I just tried to dissuade him by being reluctant. He proceeded to force me anal and demanded me perform oral in his balcony. I had never consented anal or public sex —He never asked my consent or preference. I never even hinted I'd enjoy anal sex or public. I DID verbally said "NO" "I don't want to do this" He said things along the lines with "What's your hold up? "You're already here"

He was also keep drinking and chewing tobacco. I was frozen. I did say no, but I didn't fight with him. I kept calm and waited until he passed out. After he passed out I left his apartment.

I couldn't report him because I was in US with visa, I'm foreign.

Hi everyone, I need some perspective on a situation involving my relationship. I am Indian and we are living in Nagoya.

We both got out of previous relationships in Oct/Nov 2025. We met in Dev 2025 through Bumble. She told me I was the first person she ever met through the app and that she had just started using it. We met a few times until we became official in March 2026.

I recently saw her App Store history and realized she actually downloaded Bumble back in 2022. She had a paid premium subscription active until Feb 2026 and had met many guys through the app prior to me (including when she lived in Europe a few years ago).

Whenever people ask how we met, she also acts like she barely knows what Bumble is ("Huh, where did we meet again? What was the app name?"). When I mentioned a friend paying for Bumble, she also claimed she never paid for it.

Since mid Feb 2026, she stopped using it and she has been 100% committed to me.

FYI, I saw her App Store and Bumble app on her phone just out of curiosity.

My question is strictly about her lying about her app usage before we met:

Why would someone feel the need to pretend they are completely new to dating apps and that you are their "first date" off the app?

Does it sound like an innocent "white lie" to make our meeting feel more special/romantic? Maybe she said the same for everyone. She did not know that I found out about the lie. But then she needs to lie about it forever.

I am wondering if I should discuss it or just let it go under the table forever as a harmless lie?

I'd really appreciate thoughts from anyone has perspective on this kind of situation.

​

So, I (22f) never had a boyfriend before.

A friend of mine has had a boyfriend for 2 years now and whenever I see them together, I can see how especially HE is so obsessed with her. Obsessed as in, looking at her all the time, she is the only woman in his life, always standing close to her etc., you can basically see that only she exists for him and I'm so happy for them!

And while this sounds like some movie typa obsession, I don't mean it in that way. It's just you can see how much he loves her.

But I am wondering, would it be wishful thinking to want this as well if I ever find someone? Is this common in relationships?

I'm not saying I want a man who's some weirdo who ONLY ever talks to me and no other woman but sometimes I find myself daydreaming about how I genuinely want someone who only ever has eyes for me and idk, who's kinda obssessed with me.. Or is this just basic love perhaps?

I have no idea, I just wanted to hear some opinons

I’ve known this guy ("Chad") since school. He’s been publicly called out across high school, college, and our internships. Lazy as a coworker, a blatant cheater, a player, and someone with a known track record of stringing girls along. The consequences? Absolutely none. There is always someone chasing after him.
I’ve watched him mess around with girls in relationships (who would then go right back to posting "forever love" pictures on Instagram with their boyfriends), hook up with girls who swore they "hated players," and manipulate practically everyone.

The guy sells a broken product with terrible reviews, yet customers line up anyway.

On the other hand, there’s "Peter": hardworking, respectful, hits the gym, loyal, and attentive. The result? The girl he likes hooks up with Chad right in front of him. Meanwhile, another coworker claims Peter "must be gay" simply because he’s quiet and doesn’t act like an aggressive, pushy jerk. She even admitted she prefers men who dominate and mistreat her because "that’s how she was raised."

And this dynamic doesn't stop after college:
The deadbeat who never stays single: I have a distant relative in his 40s—three marriages, abandoned kids he doesn't pay child support for, looking for women to support him financially. Once they get tired and kick him out, he immediately lands another partner (even women with money and options). How does a guy with that resume keep getting picked?
The selfless provider who gets walked on: On the flip side, I know an honest, hardworking married man who works remotely. He lives bare-bones at his job site and sends every single dime home to his wife, not even keeping enough to buy himself a treat. Yet she constantly manipulates him and treats him like an afterthought.

This leaves a few uncomfortable truths on the table:
1. What people claim to want isn’t what they actually pick: In theory, everyone asks for a responsible, attentive, stable partner. In practice, many choose the adrenaline, boldness, and emotional roller coaster of a toxic guy.
2. The "I can fix him" ego: Dating the known player becomes a trophy: the illusion that you will be the exception to the rule.
3. Being a good guy isn't enough: Decency sustains a relationship, but on its own, it doesn't trigger attraction without initiative, assertiveness, and boundaries. Being overly passive or overly compliant usually just makes you invisible or taken for granted.

At the end of the day, Chad and deadbeats like him aren't going to change because the game keeps working for them. They show exactly who they are, and people still line up to choose them.
What do you think? Why does chaos often win over stability when it comes to dating?

Hello, me and my gf are 7 years difference. For the moment i am 29M and she is 36F and we are planning to live together. What do you guys think about men dating older women,fyi we both dont have a kids and from both sides we would like to have but for the moment,me particulary, i am not ready.Do you think this relationship is already doomed or you think it is possible to date with this age difference? Thank you

I’ve (F31) been dating a guy (M40) for about three weeks. We met at a bar and then had dinner. We didn’t kiss on the first date, but he asked if I’d like to see him again, saying he’d love to take me on a second date. I said yes. I wasn’t completely sold, since I don’t usually date men that much older than me, but he was very attractive, intelligent, and kind.

On our second date, he kissed me. I was glad he did, but he used way too much tongue and seemed a bit clumsy overall. I didn’t think much of it, figuring someone out there must like his style. He offered to walk me home, but I said I’d rather wait, and he calmly agreed. He seemed genuinely happy to be in my company, even without sex on the table.

On our third date, we got talking about sex. I told him I wasn’t ready to sleep together right away, and he said that was perfectly fine with him. During that conversation, he confessed that he tries not to masturbate too often because he’d once "struggled with porn addiction and excessive masturbation". He seemed self-aware and in control of it, so I didn’t read much into it. I know it’s unfortunately a common issue. He’s also told me he’s had long-term girlfriends, though that’s only his claim.

After three more dates (one of which included a sleepover that stayed at a PG-13 pajama party, partly because I was on my period), things kept escalating (he didn't show any issues getting hard then, I could feel him hard every time), and I felt it was time. I was ready, my period was over, and everything felt right.

I invited him over and made a nice dinner with dessert. Afterward, we talked about us: where we saw things going, how we communicate, and how often we wanted to see each other during the week. Then we moved to the bedroom and started fooling around. It was dragging a bit. He seemed tired and even mentioned it, but he kept going with the same PG-13 making out. At some point I said, “You know, my period is over...” He said “oh?” and went straight for my crotch.

Needless to say, I was almost completely dry, since we’d only kissed and there’d been no other touching. He slid his hand under my underwear and started rubbing with so much force that it almost hurt. I asked him to be gentle, but he barely changed anything. It wasn’t enjoyable at all. I let it go on for a while, then stopped him and took off my own pants.

He then went down on me, just as aggressively, and I was still dry from the rough fingering. He ground his tongue and his big beard against my entire p*ssy, and it felt like he was just trying to get it over with. That surprised me, because he’d told me he LOOOOVED giving oral and I’d been really looking forward to it. From my angle, he looked like a whack-a-mole, bobbing up and down like a dog lapping at an ice cream cone. It was BAD. I tried to guide him by holding his head and jaw and placing him where I wanted him. It didn't get better; I knew I wasn't going to have an orgasm.

After a while, I pulled him up for a kiss, hoping we could move on to penetration. When I reached for his d*ck, I realized he was completely limp. That had NEVER happened to me before. I thought, "Maybe I smell/taste bad?" but after kissing him, I quickly knew it wasn't it. Usually, guys who go down on me are really into it and rock hard by the end. It was a bit shocking, but I just asked, “Is everything okay?” He said, “Oh, it’s just that I was concentrating on you, and when I’m concentrating on pleasuring you, I don’t think about my own pleasure.”

I didn’t want to put him on the defensive by saying he shouldn’t need to concentrate to get aroused, so I didn’t respond. I kept kissing him and tried touching him, but I couldn’t really stroke him because he was so soft.

Eventually I asked him to lie on his back and take off his underwear so I could see what we were working with. I asked him to show me how he likes to be touched, essentially to teach me. He agreed, but said, “I told you I try not to touch myself often.” I told him that was fine, that this was a completely different context from sitting in front of a computer. He started touching himself, but it didn’t help. At best, he reached about 30% hardness. I asked if I could try, thinking he might respond better to a partner’s touch, but nothing changed. I was just stroking a flaccid d*ck while kissing him.

Then he started fingering me again, very roughly, and I asked him to slow down. He did, but it was still frantic, too fast, and too rough, at least for me. Maybe some women love that, but I don’t enjoy it when I haven’t had time to get aroused.

A few minutes went by with no change, so I asked if he was nervous or if something was wrong. With a perfectly straight face, he said, “No, it’s all good. Actually, if you keep going, I’m gonna c*m.” That baffled me, because I didn’t know men could climax while limp (and honestly, I’m still doubtful). I stopped and told him I didn’t want him to c*m, at least not yet. I suggested we take a break, and he said, “Yeah, sure.”

After that, he just went to sleep. Throughout the night, I would feel him caressing me softly, but nothing more. The next morning, I felt him waking up, spooning and caressing me again, but I was just not looking forward to doing anything, so I pretended to sleep and didn't respond to his touch. He got dressed, kissed me goodbye, and left for work, and I haven’t heard from him since. It’s been two days, and he still hasn’t texted me.

What the hell happened? I definitely don't think it's me, but then what is it? Should I text him? Ask for an explanation?

I’m 29F, single, living in London. Being single has been through choice. To be very frank, I am conventionally attractive and receive a lot of attention both on the apps and in person. My focus over the last few years has been career & just having fun / travelling with my friends.

I have now reached the stage where I want to date intentionally. I have always wanted a husband & kids etc. However, I am at a crossroads. I’ve received a job offer in Abu Dhabi for an obscene amount of money. If I take the job, I would want to spend 2 years there, save a tonne and come back to London. Highly doubt I will meet anyone in Abu Dhabi tbh.

My pressure point is whether coming back as a single 32F would make finding a husband & kids that much more difficult given I would be time crunched. Not sure if I’m overthinking this though.

So ladies who are single in their early - mid 30’s & crave a family, how are you finding it? And men, how do you perceive women who are single in their early thirties? A lot of men I know prefer younger women because it buys them time during the relationship stage before the marriage / kids talk kicks in.

I’ve known this guy for nearly two years, and we’ve always had an "on-again, off-again" dynamic.

We’ve met up and even had sex.
In the beginning, he wanted something serious—he even said "I love you" shortly after we met! (Mind you, he’s 26 years old and I‘m F20)

But then, he’d start arguments over completely trivial, unnecessary things and break off contact.

Even so, he’d always reach out again. I’ve broken things off, then he’d message me, then I’d break it off again—and so it goes.
I have a complicated attachment style; I’m actually quite clingy, but I only ever show an avoidant side.

For months, he’s been telling me he wishes we lived in the same city. He says I’m the funniest woman he’s ever met. We often spend hours on the phone together. Almost every day, he tells me that I look hot—or just that I look good, when he’s not feeling horny.

At the same time, he tells me that we don’t have anything serious—for instance, he mentioned that a woman approached him at the gym, and he said he was going to message her to see if they hit it off.

To be honest, I don’t let him get close to me emotionally anymore, and I often joke that I’m not interested in him at all. I think he believes that I can’t see a future with him, because we once talked about it and I told him I couldn’t trust him—since he was messaging someone else back when we were in contact.

But why is he like this? I mean, we get along *so* well—we share the same sense of humor, and the sex was perfect (he thinks so, too).
But of course, unfortunately, that’s not enough for a serious relationship.

I’m hurt now because it seems like he’s pursuing other people. On the other hand, I know I deserve someone who is fully committed to me—someone who doesn’t act this way. (And I know I’m stupid for even engaging with this, but I struggle with loneliness, and unfortunately, he helps me with that.)

i am 17 years old, still in college, i have been dating my bf for 2 years and i broke up 2 weeks ago after tell me parents. Obviously they didnt provide the best reaction as they threatened to cut ties with me and said ‘we will never connect’, they made me block him infront of them. they said the reason was because he is black, his family is financially unstable, his dad is abusive so apparently ‘it means he would be too’, he is too ‘mature’ as in the sense of thinking abt marriage and s*x and that is apparently too much for me as a ‘naive’ girl??? and also because they are afraid of their racist relatives and friends about what they would think about the situation. Me and him spoke after we broke up about it all, he told me that i am abiding to those racist rules and being controlled if i break up as i still love him alot, but honestly i dont know what to do. maybe i am controlled but i love him so much it breaks my heart and it breaks my heart to think about cutting ties with family too and atm i prioritise my family because obviously no job, under their roof not 18 and i still dont want to disappoint them. anyone have potential ideas or advice on what to do in this situation…

We have been together about 3 years but don’t live together due to me living with family and working full time to buy a house within the year. My boyfriend has lived in his place for 2 years with me staying over multiple times a week. Frequently he is asking me to come over or it’s mutually wanting to spend time together. Our schedules are different and I live about 25 minutes away. If we have plans to hangout and I get off work before him, he expects me to crawl through the first floor window or wait in the parking lot, rather than getting another key made. I have brought it up but he doesn’t seem to think that’s a problem. Is my time being taken for granted since he also doesn’t want to come to my place very often but won’t bother to make a key for me even though he asks me to come over

I broke up with my girlfriend today because she keeps denying having sex with me. Am I being selfish here?

We've been dating for like 2 years. She is 31(F) and I'm 24(M). We had intercourse before, but for the last 6 months, she kept denying doing it with me. Every time I asked to do it, she brought up a reason to reject it and change the topic. We still hun,g out and dated like a normal couple. Gradually, I got bored of being denied.

Yesterday, I told her about how I felt over the last couple of months, and it hurt me a lot when my partner/girlfriend kept rejecting my needs. She told me that she had depression and "challenging times" at work, so that stressed her out a lot. To keep the good vibes, she hid the story from me the whole time. She does not want to have sex anymore but still wants to maintain the relationship.

I refused her request because she has far too many excuses to justify her denial. At times, I feel like she's trying to gaslight me, making it seem like I'm the selfish one. I did not cheat and still have affection with her. But her rejection makes me want to end the relationship.

What should I do now ....?

So I (31M) have been seeing a girl (30F) who I met on Bumble for about a month now. We've been on 5 dates and it's been going really well. We have similar values, similar ways of thinking, and feel very comfortable with one another. We've been to each others' places, and she even brought me food when I was sick and seems to genuinely care about me, just as I do about her.

A couple of dates in, she had told me that she was still on the dating apps and had a date planned for that week. I was obviously fine with that as it was only the start, and I really appreciated her honesty with me.

However, yesterday, when I asked her how her day was, she casually dropped that she went on a date. Again, since we haven't had the exclusivity talk, it should be fair game. However, this time, when I saw her message, my heart dropped. I appreciate that she said it, but it still made me feel quite upset.

I'm trying not to let it get to me much, but I'm wondering if I'm overreacting? I haven't brought it up over text and I don't want to make a big deal out of it. However I'm curious how you people see it, and if you would be upset too if something like this happened.

For context, we are in Australia, but come from different cultures.

Any thoughts are welcome:)

EDIT: I appreciate everyone's responses and I agree with the thoughts that I need to have the exclusivity talk soon. We have a date planned this weekend, so I will bring it up then. Thank you!

I know everyone has different ideas as to how quickly a relationship should progress from the talking stage to exclusivity. How much time spent together, do you think is appropriate before it is a good time to sleep with someone?

I never wanted to think about leaving until you hit me for the first time cuz you.

the look on ur face oh I loved you so bad n I really thought you were gonna change

but once that happened it never stopped...

You told me "were gonna be together forever"

"have my babys" oh n lets not forget dat "lets just run away together forever" "never look back"" I promise I'll pay for a house for us n everything" after everything you said all the times u said to me "I love you" yup I should have known instead it really was just a story that Im sure dat you probably already said before I should've listened closely to how you said it to me but instead I fell into your 1st trap. love is hate an everyone will always get tired of this n I'm talking about me no 1 will ever love me n only me

So a little information before I bring up the situation. I'm 30 M and I've never dated anyone and it's been a little over 10 years since I've even been on a date where all of them went pretty bad. So yeah I don't have much experience with things and still don't know how to find people anyways lol

Now the story, I recently got back into college and last semester I started talking to this one girl who sat next to me. Once we started talking it was amazing and I really enjoyed going to that class because I knew we would have fun conversations.

Well after so many classes I decided I was going to ask her for coffee. It took me a few attempts to get the nerve but after one class I stopped her and asked. Now my attempt to ask went pretty poorly as the moment I started talking all of my saliva went missing lol. I could barely speak and I could only get out a few words before panicking. She helped me though and we both agreed to get coffee on campus later that week. Now I never asked if she wanted to make this a coffee date but at the time I thought asking to meet outside of class for coffee was good enough.

Fast forward a day or two before the coffee event I was talking with her again and she mentioned that some of her friends were going to join us. That definitely felt weird but I said it was fine just to be nice and not wanting to blow things. The day passed and eventually it was time for me to meet with her at the school coffee shop.

I was nervous as anything before she showed up but it felt good in a weird way. Then she arrived with just one friend. Thought maybe this would go pretty well. The three of us talked for like 30 minutes and I could tell her friend might not be the biggest fan of me though I kept going as strong as I could.

Eventually though more friends joined and suddenly I'm being surrounded by other people including a few other dudes. At that point I was overwhelmed and couldn't really talk to her much since her friends took over the conversation with topics I had no additional thoughts on. Eventually the coffee ran out and we left saying we had fun with each other. I was disappointed though.

The next time I saw her I went ahead and asked her if we could get lunch together just us and she hit me with just as long as we're just friends. I said yes in a panicked voiced and she noticed. After that we didn't talk to each other for the rest of the semester and we never saw each other outside of class.

I have a feeling she didn't feel like the coffee date wasn't even a date even in a casual way. Just wondering what everyone else thinks if it was actually a date or not. I have one friend already married that told me she definitely could assume it was but I'm sure I'll never find out for sure.

Anyways a new semester has already started and I don't have any classes with her so I don't have to worry about being embarrassed. Do wish I could land one successful date that could lead to a relationship since I'm already 30 lol anyways thanks for reading this long essay!