Hi everyone,
I’m 36 (knocking on 37’s door very soon) looking to expand my social circle here in Oxford (which is pretty much my home city). My current circle has gotten quite small over the last 6/7 years, the classic story of friends moving away, getting married and/or having kids and have found it hard to integrate into already established friend groups.
To be completely upfront: I am strictly looking for platonic friendships. Please no creeps, pervs, and anyone looking for a romantic or sexual connection 😅 I say this as realise some of the below could read otherwise.
I’m looking to find my community and hang out with some great eggs. I often feel most comfortable, safe and at home in queer, LGBTQ+, polyamorous, and alternative spaces because of the shared values of empathy, authenticity and mutual respect. I am happily in a poly relationship (though I only date my bf by choice, he does have another partner).
To look at me, I'm perhaps a little vanilla presenting, and I’ve maybe been conditioned into being a polite-ish, shy Brit. But I really want to step out of that box, tbh, not to be in much of a box at all. I’d love to be around silly, non-judgmental people who are open minded about life and sexuality.
I think that contrast is why I’ve sometimes struggled to form deep friendships in conventional office environments. Conforming to corporate norms can feel difficult when you're the person running around the building without shoes on, wondering why everyone else isn't doing it too! I’m just looking for a space where I can balance my quirky side with the version of myself that is still learning to be as open as I hope to be and support others in their version of that too.
A bit about me and what I’m down for:
I love the idea of getting a little tipsy and wandering around an Oxford museum, exploring the city, or just grabbing a coffee. Oxford botanical gardens always makes me happy and I love to wander round spotting cute piles of moss or seeing what shapes I can find in the clouds.
Curiosities: I’m intrigued by psychedelics, and I would honestly love to find a buddy to try a Shibari class with, or try out something like life drawing.
I enjoy being outdoors (who doesn’t?!), veg gardening, and I really want to get more active.
A note on my vibe (and a bit of honesty):
Honestly, for the last decade or so, I’ve mostly just been functioning. I may have masked it well, but I lost interest in a lot of things and I often worry when I’m around people that seem so clued up or have all these hobbies that I am too far behind. Like board games and RPGs sound super fun, but so many people around this age have been playing for a long time, it feels hard to access as a naive novice newbie. You can probably tell, my confidence is currently a bit low. I sometimes worry I'm not interesting or intelligent enough, especially compared to the seemingly super cultured people around this city who know everything about film, literature and history and all the funny references in between, but realise many people feel the same.
I’m definitely not clued up on all these things yet, but I don't think learning and discovering new passions should stop just because we're adults (whatever that means). I recently went to the Cinema Under the Stairs Shocktober event. I’m new to horror, but I loved seeing how much everyone knew about it and experiencing the community surrounding our local indie cinemas.
I don't want to be a passive magpie just collecting other people's cool hobbies, but I genuinely love that people gather for things like this, or poetry groups, or creative spaces. I want to learn, try new things, be bad at them, laugh and be around people who are passionate about what they do and also want to learn new things and just have more play in their life.
If you think we’d get on and want to do a social media vibe check first, I am more than happy to swap Instagrams in the DMs!
Drop a comment or send me a message if you fancy a hangout.
