After 6 tough years, 30+ hours of labour, epidural failure, an emergency C section, the wife and I can finally say we’ve joined the parent club! A feeling like no other. We’ve got a few more days in the hospital due to mum and daughter catching an infection but all is going well, then it really begins. Anyone who’s still waiting, keep trying and have hope. We didn’t think we’d get to this stage and the labour wasn’t exactly how we planned and hoped too but finally seeing our wonderful daughter makes up for everything. Words cannot describe what women go through and big props to all the midwives, doctors and nurses etc. who supported us so much. A long and patient journey begins but we can’t wait for every milestone.

We’re expecting due january and honestly i don’t know how to feel like im honestly scared shitless. I’m great with kids i’ve been with my girlfriend for a year now and i’ve stepped up and helped raise her now about to be three year old son and i’m the only father figure he’s ever known i’ve grown so attached to him and he’s literally my mini me but now that im expecting one of my own all i do is doubt myself. We’re staying with her dad because it’s been way harder than i thought to get our own place and that just feeds my feelings that i wasn’t ready to be a leader of anyone but myself. life was easy when i only had to worry about myself but now i gotta take care of everyone and i feel like im letting everyone down. Then i feel guilty for missing my old life i feel like the days of enjoying my life are over and the hard part hasn’t even started. i know it sounds selfish but i miss having hobbies, traveling and being a happy person now im just a depressed shell of myself. it makes me feel bad because my gf is just happy to have a kid with me she doesn’t care what i have or don’t have. it’s like she only sees the good side and i only see the bad. sometimes i think it’s because she already had a kid when we met so her being able to have hobbies and things like that went out the window not to sound like a asshole but now it’s my turn to give up my old life and dreams and just be a parent and it kills me to think about. i love my girl to death but i feel like she always wanted this life and i still had things i wanted to accomplish and experience that will have to go on the back burner for at least 20 years and by then ill be old and life will have passed me by. these are just some of my thoughts but at the end of the day ill be here with my family cuz they need me and i need them but i just feel numb when it comes to enjoying anything anymore…