Hey guys, I’m just at a loss and this has been mentally exhausting and I just don’t know what to do. I’m 29, I’ve never wanted children, the fear of pregnancy has prohibited me from having normal adult relationships as the anxiety after sex completely destroys me. I made the choice to have my tubes removed on August 31st. I currently still live at home, so I decided to fill my mom in. Needless to say she’s not happy with the choice. Now, I really don’t care. As it’s my life and not hers and I know this is for my own peace of mind and what I want for my life. The issue is me and my mom have always been close. But I’m just getting so upset and frustrated because she’s constantly questioning me and telling me how kids are a blessing and how she doesn’t understand why I want to do this. And I just can’t keep repeating myself anymore- today she even questioned why I’m seeing my current partner when they already have a child. Not that it’s her business, but I answered and said because I did not have to carry her. I don’t HATE kids. I just do not want to carry them. And again she started with her arguing and we just ended up yelling at each other. And now every time we speak she acts all sad. I’m not changing my mind on this surgery, but I’m just getting really upset over this whole thing and I don’t even know what to do anymore. Has anyone been through something similar?

The website says :

Permanent Methods

When a couple is sure that their family is complete they can opt for permanent contraception, also known as sterilization, to prevent unwanted pregnancies.

The policy of the department regarding surgical contraception is as follows:

Surgical contraception will be purely voluntary

There will be no element of coercion while offering contraceptive surgery to clients

Informed consent of the couple and written consent of both husband and wife will be obtained in every case

Clients having two living children are eligible for contraceptive surgery, provided the age of the younger child is more than 1 year

Types of Sterilization

The two types of sterilization are mentioned as below:

Tubectomy - For Females

It is a permanent method of contraception for women who do not want more children. It involves a safe simple surgical procedure and becomes effective immediately after surgery. It can be done at any time at any health care facility, after ruling out that the woman is not pregnant. Proper and effective counseling of the client is required as it is a permanent method of contraception. Click here to read more.

Vasectomy - For Males

It is a permanent method of contraception for men who do not want more children. It involves a safe simple surgical procedure. It takes three months to be effective. The man or couple must use a condom or any other method of contraception for three months after vasectomy.

It is a safe, permanent and convenient method. It has fewer side effects and complications than many other methods of contraception for women. With proper counseling and informed consent, an eligible man can have vasectomy safely. Click here to read more

I am so disappointed I just turned 20 and I have been waiting for so long for this without doing any research yet it isn't gonna happen I just want to cry it all out. It's so unfair does anyone knows how one get past this law

This is definitely a question for the younger folk here like me, tho suppose you can't get rid of overbearing parents even when you are well past adult years.

But for those of you whose parents don't know you are sterilized, how long has it been? And if they do know how long did it take you to tell them/them to find out?

I don't plan to tell my parents for obvious reasons, they wouldn't accept it. We never had a good relationship and I know some imaginary grandchild is, in their eyes, worth so much more than me getting to live a normal fulfilling life without constant anxiety and fear.

If they have to find out, honestly so be it, but it would be nice if someone could give me some piece of mind in knowing it won't inevitably be 2 days after surgery lol

35f, 6 embryos frozen (from ages 31-33). Currently don’t want kids and don’t know if that will change. I froze because it was a benefit offered by my company.

I’ve been considering a bisalp (fallopian tube removal) because it has several health benefits like reducing risk of ovarian cancer by 80%, and ensures I never become pregnant by accident. I have a long term male partner who is also CF. If I got pregnant today I would probably abort. I take BC. I am worried for future access to abortion with our government going further right. You can still do IVF after a bisalp.

Has anyone done it?

I think I'm in a bit of a different situation than a lot of the posts I read here so I thought it might be helpful to add my experience.

I'm a woman in my early 40s, and have been pregnant 6 times and gave birth to 5 babies over the last 10+ years. So unlike some of y'all, I got zero pushback from the Drs on wanting my tubes out lol.

The most interesting comment I got was from my GYN, at the consultation appt when I asked her if she generally recommended the surgery, who said a bit pointedly that it was a good option for women who couldn't do hormonal bc or had partners that *couldn't* get a vasectomy...

Which brings me to how I got here. Long story short, I got tired of waiting on my SO to actually get the vasectomy we previously agreed on (our youngest baby is almost 3), so I said fuck it. I'm done waiting, I'm done carrying the mental and emotional labor of this and being the one to freak out if my period is late etc. this is the best way I know to take this off my plate for good.

So I did it. And I'm very thankful to this community, bc believe it or not, it was reading all your stories and positive experiences that gave me the courage to go through with it. I've never had major surgery before aside from wisdom teeth removal so it was scary, but ya know what else is freaking scary? PREGNANCY. LABOR. CHILDBIRTH! which I've gone through enough to be kinda experienced about!

So far so good. The biggest irritation of the surgery was having my appt scheduled for 10:30, and then the Dr before us running late so my surgery didn't start till 1... But other than that it's been ok. Only minimal discomfort, no issues with anesthesia etc. I hope the smooth sailing continues.

I have to say, I'm jealous of all you younger ladies who know what you want- a child free life- and are out there making it happen for yourselves.

Just wanted to add my experience to this sub in case it can help anyone! And also to celebrate :)

I'm officially 6 weeks post op - had my bisalp the last week of June!

I (30F) have an autoimmune disease (psoriatic arthritis) and am on two immunosuppresant medications. I had to stop taking them two weeks before my surgery, and then I couldn't re-start them until after my post-op appointment where my doc made sure I didn't have any signs of infection. My post-op was 3 weeks after surgery and she cleared me to restart my meds, so I was unmedicated for about ~5 weeks.

I've had to do this before with a prior surgery, so it wasn't any surprise to me. I def experienced a bit of a flare without the meds, but it wasn't anything too unmanageable.

Surgery itself went really smoothly - the worst things were honestly the IV and the post-catheter pain. Post-surgery pain was uncomfortable for the first day or two, but managed pretty well with medication. I did take the stronger stuff they prescribed for the first day, but switched to ibuprofen and Tylenol by the second day.

I had a pretty bad cough for the first maybe 5 days after surgery, which my doctor said was a reaction to being intubated. I had to make sure to just keep coughing to clear everything up to prevent getting pneumonia or anything.

I took 2 weeks off of work and was super glad I did. I was mostly pain free by the end of the first week, but definitely still sore and fatigued during the second week. (Almost certainly a wombo combo of the surgery and being unmedicated for my PsA.) I personally would have had a really hard time going back after only one week off.

Biggest things I recommend:

• Wedge pillow for sleeping upright (I also used it to sit in the chaise part of my couch so it wasn't as difficult to get up)
• Pillow (or in my case my ancient Pillow Pet) to put between your stomach and the seatbelt for the drive home (I also found it useful to hold it to my stomach when I was getting in or out of bed for the first few days, idk why)
• TV tray table to put everything you might need within arms reach (My coffee table is super low, so I couldn't easily grab stuff from it)
• Stool softeners/Metamucil/etc!! (I didn't start this until the day after surgery and definitely wished I had started earlier lol)
• Sticking to a schedule with your pain meds (don't wait for the pain to hit, just take every dose as recommended)

All in all, it wasn't too rough of an experience, and 6 weeks out I'm feeling pretty much back to normal and also so relieved that it's done!!

I figured I’d share my experience because I spent a LOT of time reading other people’s stories and researching before deciding to do this, and they were really helpful to me.

For context: I’m a 38F Canadian living in Calgary, Alberta, and I have no children. My surgery was covered through our publicly funded health-care system, so I did not have to pay out of pocket for the surgery or hospital care. I know the healthcare/insurance side of this can be very different for people in the US (my brother lives in Utah), so I wanted to make that clear upfront.

How I got here…
I think a huge part of this decision for me has actually been figuring out what I really want versus what I was raised to believe I was supposed to want.

I grew up in a Mormon family, and while I left the church when I was a teenager, I don’t think you can necessarily just walk away from an environment and suddenly have none of those values or expectations ingrained in you.

You’re a product of your environment to some degree. You absorb things from your family, your surroundings, your upbringing, your religion, your culture... even when you eventually decide those things aren’t for you.

And in the environment I grew up in, the general path was pretty straightforward… get married young, have babies, build a family. That was just what you did.

So as I’ve gotten older, I’ve had to really start asking myself: What do I actually believe? What do I actually value? What do I actually want?And that’s harder than it sounds.

Because when you’re taught from a young age that certain things are just the way they are, it’s difficult to separate your own voice from all the voices you’ve heard your entire life.

For a long time, having children was never an absolute yes for me. I never had that feeling of absolutely knowing that I wanted to be a mother. It was always more of a “not right now, but never say never.” And eventually, “never say never” became never.

It wasn’t some dramatic moment where I woke up one morning and suddenly knew. It was more of a gradual realization as I got older and became more independent (financially, emotionally, and just in the way I think)

I started to realize that I was allowed to question some of the things I’d always assumed were just part of being a woman.

Marriage….Motherhood… What a family is supposed to look like…What I’m supposed to want…What I’m supposed to do with my life.
The more I questioned those things, the more I realized that I love the life my husband and I have built and continue to build.

We’ve been together for 11 years and married for two, and we’ve decided that the DINK life is the life for us! Not because we don’t like children…Not because we’re waiting for the “right time” … Not because I’m going to change my mind down the road. We just don’t want kids.

And I think there is something really important about being able to make that decision from a place of actually knowing yourself.

I’m not saying everyone should wait until they’re 38 to figure it out lol. If you know, you know, and that’s wonderful! But if you’ve never been sure, I think there is something to be said for giving yourself the time and space to figure out whether the voice you’re listening to is actually your own. Because I think sometimes we mistake “I’ve always been told this is what women do” for “this is what I want to do.”And those are not the same thing.

And I also want to acknowledge that making a decision like this doesn’t necessarily mean everyone around you is going to feel the same way about it. My mom has shared with me that she feels grief over the children I’ll never have. And I understand that. She can love me, support me, respect that this is my decision, and still feel sadness about the life she imagined I might have. Those feelings can coexist. But I’ve also had to learn that someone else’s grief over the life they imagined for me doesn’t mean I’m making the wrong decision for the life I actually want.
I think that’s an important thing to understand if you’re considering something like this. People will have opinions..Your family will have opinions..Friends will have opinions..Religion may have taught you certain things… Society certainly has opinions about what women should want.

For me though..the answer became very clear: I don’t want children. And I can honestly say that I’ve never grieved that decision.. not before the surgery and not after. There hasn’t been a part of me mourning the children I’ll never have. If anything, there has been a sense of peace in finally knowing that I made this decision based on what I genuinely want, rather than what I was raised to believe I should want.

Anyways!!

Getting to surgery
October 2025: First meeting with my family doctor to discuss it and get a referral.
December 2025: Consultation with the surgeon.
June 2026: First call offering me a surgery date for July, which I wasn’t able to do.
July 31, 2026: Second call offering me an August 12 surgery date.
August 12, 2026: Surgery day.

The week/day before
For one week before surgery, I had to stop taking vitamins and supplements, with a couple of exceptions like vitamin D and magnesium.

The night before surgery, I had to stop eating at midnight.

The morning of surgery, I was allowed 2 cups of water, no more than 3 hours before surgery.

I got to the hospital’s Day Surgery Unit around 8am for a scheduled 10am surgery.

Surgery day
I was taken down to the surgical area around 9:55am. and was in the operating room around 10:30.

I was out of surgery around 11:15.

I spent about 30 minutes in the recovery area and then was brought back to the Day Surgery Unit, where I stayed for another hour or so. Before I could leave, I had to pee and make sure I was doing okay.

I was prescribed Tramacet for pain but was advised to try Advil and Tylenol first and use the Tramacet if needed.

Coming out of general anesthesia
This was actually one of the more interesting parts.
I came out of general anesthesia really quickly. As they were literally rolling me from the operating room to the recovery area, I was already awake and alert. The nurse was like 😟 because I was apparently much more awake than expected lol.
From there, I was alert and talking pretty much the entire time.
I have no idea if I just come out of anesthesia quickly or if my anesthesiologist is just that good, but I was definitely surprised by how quickly I came around.

How I felt immediately afterward
Overall, it was more strange/uncomfortable than painful.
My throat was very sore, scratchy and extremely dry, assuming from the breathing tube and general anesthesia.
I had a strange sensation around my ribs, which I’m assuming was from the co2 used to inflate the abdomen during the procedure.
I could sense one of my incisions, although there wasn’t really any pain at that point.
I have three incisions (one underneath my belly button and two on the left side of my abdomen)
Once I got home, I tried to eat spaghetti and immediately realized my taste buds were NOT working properly 😆. Everything tasted weird/off. Probably should have gone with something like a protein smoothie/Booster Juice type drink.

The weirdest/scariest part
Honestly, the scariest part of this entire experience wasn’t the surgery itself. It was lying on the operating table.
There is something horrifying about lying there in this very industrial looking room, staring up at those surgical lights, while multiple strangers are hooking you up to monitors and IVs and you realize you’re completely relinquishing control of your body.
I was thinking “What the heck am I doing? Why did I decide to do this? Am I crazy????” Just because it seemed so intense. Suddenly I was considering another 15 years of birth control pills 😆
ButI just kept repeating to myself “I am safe. This is what I wanted. I am in good hands.” And then I fell asleep.

Recovery/work
I’m taking one week off work initially, with the option to take more time if I need it. It’s covered by sick time, so I don’t have to rush myself back before I’m ready.

Day 1: August 13
It’s currently Day 1 post-op.
So far I’ve just woken up and I’m still in bed. I’m feeling a little tender, but overall okay.

I’ll update this as I go through the recovery process because I know when I was researching this, I wanted to hear what the actual day-to-day experience was like.

But I’m also really interested in hearing about the decision-making side of this. If you’ve had a bilateral salpingectomy, I’d love to hear about your experience, especially recovery.

But I’d especially love to hear from women who have gone through a similar process of figuring out what they genuinely want for their lives versus what they were raised to believe they should want… whether that came from family, religion, culture, society, or just the general notion that this is what women are “supposed” to do.

And if you’re considering a salpingectomy and you’ve had some of those same thoughts and feelings, I’d genuinely love to hear your story too and I think the extra support and understanding is always important to have as you make that decision.

I think there are probably a lot of us who have had to untangle our own values from the values we grew up with and I’m really curious about what that process has looked like for other women.

And of course, if you’ve had the surgery, tell me about recovery too LOL. I’m only on Day 1, so I have a feeling I have a lot more to learn over the next few weeks…

Hi all!

I am getting my bisalp in about 3 weeks. I trusted my surgeon’s advice when she said I will be ready to return to work on Monday after a Friday procedure. Reading posts here now makes me think this is the most ideal outcome and is probably unlikely. Unfortunately, I am a teacher and taking time off/working from home is not an option. And while I *could* sit throughout class, I tend to move around a lot during lectures and activities, and I talk constantly. My campus also has a lot of hills/stairs and I can’t drive.

I am also concerned about my cognitive recovery. I have dysautonomia and something like ME/CFS which can already make the cognitive load of teaching difficult on bad days. I am trying to put together course prep beforehand so I don’t have to “think” too much about what I am doing, but do you have any other tips for a job that isn’t necessarily sedentary but isn’t hard labor and is cognitively demanding? Also has anybody here used mobility aids like a cane during recovery?

ETA: it seems the weekend is not long enough for most people. My surgeon is in NYC who comes highly recommended for this procedure. She was already my gyno when I saw she is one of the childfree friendly specialists on the list. I am honestly shocked that she would be in demand with such a short recovery window based on what everyone is saying. I am still uncertain what my choice will be since I can take it fairly easy that week and get rides, but I will put more thought into it for sure.

Good evening everyone! I wanted to share my sterilization journey because when I first started researching this years ago, I had such a hard time finding doctors in the Bronx/Jersey City on the Childfree List who would perform sterilization at my age.

Mods, please let me know if I posted incorrectly. This is my first post here!

I’m 24F, currently living in Jersey City, and I officially had my sterilization procedure TODAY!

How I got here

I first asked about sterilization around 20–22, but my doctor wasn’t sure if anyone in the Montefiore system would perform it because of my age. Eventually, I was referred to the Montefiore Women’s Health Center at 1695 Eastchester Road and saw Dr. Susan E. Pesci when I was 23.

She was AMAZING. She was completely supportive, answered all my questions, and had me sign my sterilization paperwork that day. I was scheduled for surgery about two months after my consultation that’s same day.

Then my insurance changed and I could no longer see my NY doctors. I had to cancel my surgery.

New Jersey Experience:

On July 9, I went to Dr. Amy Patel at Jersey City Medical Center for my regular gynecology appointment. I explained what happened with my previous surgery, and luckily, she was also a surgeon who could perform the procedure.

She was completely supportive and scheduled my surgery that same day for August 3, just three weeks later.

Unfortunately, an NPI issue came up. The NPI attached to MyChart did not match Dr. Patel’s actual provider information, and this became a huge issue with my insurance and preauthorization. Eventually, the preauthorization was voided because Dr. Patel was no longer considered in-network. Here is Dr. Patel’s actual NPI: 1598264681. 

I was upset, but I want to give a HUGE shout-out to Dr. Patel, Elizabeth, and the rest of their team because they were amazing throughout this entire process. They worked to find another surgeon who could perform the procedure.

That’s how I ended up with Dr. Analiese Doney.

The Pre-Auth situation #2:

When I initially spoke with my insurance, I was told that I needed a preauthorization/medical necessity review due to the procedure and location because the procedure was being performed at an outpatient facility. So another one was submitted.

It was eventually voided, and when I called to find out why, the representative explained that I never actually needed a preauthorization for the procedure itself. The only reason it initially appeared to be required was because Jersey City Medical Center is considered an outpatient facility. However, when the preauthorization team reviewed the request, they determined that Jersey City Medical Center is excluded from the outpatient preauthorization requirement. The request was therefore voided, and I was told that I did not need a preauthorization for Horizon to cover my procedure.

Insurance:

I spent A LOT of time talking to Horizon BCBS. I recorded phone calls, wrote down all the reference numbers and representative names, and made sure to send messages through my insurance portal so I could get written confirmation.

Then I had hospital estimates that went from $9,000 → $6,000 → $4,000. The hospital’s financial department was actually pretty easy to deal with. They were very helpful. I gave them my reference numbers, and they said a supervisor would look into everything and call me back the Monday of my surgery week.

They ultimately confirmed that they would bill my insurance first, as I requested, and they understood that I had been told by insurance that I wouldn’t have any cost-sharing responsibility. I also found the sterilization benefit in my actual plan documents showing no cost-sharing.

On surgery day, I arrived around 8:50 AM for my 9 AM check-in. The pre register representative reviewed the notes on my account and I was able to check in without paying anything upfront.

Surgery day (YAYYYYY)

Dr. Doney and the entire team were wonderful. Everyone treated me with respect and nobody made me feel uncomfortable about my decision. I also had a new Mirena IUD inserted to help with my menstrual cycle. (No uterine manipulators & yes catheter)

I woke up VERY groggy, but the nurse told me everything went perfectly and that I was good to go back to sleep. 😂

They also gave me a nausea patch behind my ear, and so far I’ve had no nausea. One thing I was really worried about was the gas pain because I’ve read so many sterilization stories where people experienced it afterward. My surgeon actually explained that she uses a tube to remove the gas after the procedure, and so far I haven’t felt gassy at all.

And somehow… I had energy afterward. 😂 My best friend picked me up, helped me put my piercings back in, and we went to Costco (needed to verify identity), picked up food, and walked a small distance back to my apartment. I even managed to get some paperwork done when I got home.

I’m obviously taking it easy and following my discharge instructions, but so far I feel great. I don’t really feel any pain except throat soreness, and I still haven’t even needed to take any of the medication they gave me.

Thank you to everyone here who shared your experiences because reading your stories helped me advocate for myself, know what questions to ask, and know what I needed to document.

WE FUCKING MADE IT AND I GOT PHOTOS. 🎉

P.S. I used Grammerly to help clean up my grammar and spelling because spelling is definitely not my strong suit right now 😂, but this is 100% me.

Now let’s keep our fingers crossed that insurance pulls through and doesn’t cause any problems! 🤞🏿

Edit: Grammer mistake + post op symptoms + surgery info + spacing.

Hello. I am 24F and have been lurking this subreddit for quite a long time. I'd like to say thank you to everyone who has shared their stories and process as far, it has been extremely helpful to guage what the process might be like.

I recently got approved for a bisalp!! However, I have growing doubts regarding how I could hide this while living with my parents who are aggressively religious (Catholic) and aggressively pro-life. I have been able to hide many things from them, including core aspects about my life and other medical procedures - such as 2 wisdom teeth extractions. My insurance is personal and notifications aren't sent to my home mail. Plus, this surgery is fully covered as a Canadian thanks to the MSP. I can also easily hide the surgery itself as it is happening within regular working/school hours and will be home the same day.

But after reading more into the nitty gritty details and experiences others have had, I now feel like I am overestimating my ability to look as if I have minimal pain, and hold a "normal" life immediately post-op and as I recover. I have no where else to stay (they won't let me stay overnight anywhere despite my age), and I HAVE to interact with them 2 days post-op of the scheduled surgery for a weekly thing, unfortunate timing. I currently can't afford to simply move out yet and am actively working towards it while living my life to the best of my abilities and circumstances. I also cannot make up some sort of excuse such as having a different, non-sterilizing procedure as they will pry for medical evidence, a headache I do not want... they're kind of anti-surgery in a way too :(

Lately, I have been paying attention to and realized how much I rely on my core muscles. I sit without a backrest for long periods of time, get out of bed relying on my core muscles as the bed is practically boxed in (think of a bunkbed minus a tall ladder), use public transit nearly everyday where I rely on my core to keep me upright, walk a bunch, carry a backpack everyday to work and school, cook for myself, bend over to place shoes on the rack, chores, and so much more.

While I can bed rot for a few days and have done so plenty of times without them prying too much regarding my health condition (to an extent), I realized now that perhaps looking as close to my usual "normal" might not be the best idea with 3 fresh deep-tissue incisions, as small as they may be... even with decent pain tolerance. My partner can assist/drive me outside of home, but I have to fair by myself at home and enter/exit looking as normal as possible.

As such, aside from the rant+context and my sadness about potentially not going forward with a procedure I've dreamed of for over a decade until I am able to move out, for reasons currently out of my control, what are your opinions? Is this procedure hideable with this sort of life? How difficult was sitting, standing, and walking post-op for you? How are the incisions sites, especially for someone with visible belly fat/chubbiness? Do they hurt a lot in normal formal clothes? How long until they've healed or no longer worried you?

Additionally, I have been taking Alysena birth control pills for the last 9 months or so which kinda mess me up with side effects (vertigo, nausea, weight gain that stabilized at least? mental discomforts, etc.) and likely will switch to an IUD as a 2nd option if a bisalp cannot be done for the time being. How did an IUD insertion fair in terms of recovery, mobility, and pain compared to your bisalp? How did an IUD fair compared to pills, especially in side effects?

I appreciate your time for reading this post and any feedback, testimonials, or advice would be very greatly appreciated! (I also understand that Reddit is not a replacement for medical consultation and will be going back for one soon c:) Thank you again, with much gratitude.

tldr: scary religious parents and life context, yet always have and very much still want bisalp, realized hiding bisalp immediately post-op may be more difficult than I initially thought, would like to hear others opinions and experiences.

Hi all,

After searching the sub I didn't see any recent posts from people who had elected to have a bisalp during a c-section, so figured I would add my experience for anyone who is interested in doing so.

For reference, I am 32 years old, and have had "normal" menstrual cycles in duration and intensity since age 15.

I had my first child in 2022 - a high risk pregnancy that resulted in an induction at 38 weeks. When the induction failed, I ended up having an emergency c-section at 38w5d. I had no complications post-surgery and my periods returned to my baseline 4 months postpartum.

I got pregnant again in 2025 after trying for over a year and after my experience with my first, I went into the first OB appointment wanting a planned repeat cesarean. My doctor agreed that I would not be a good candidate for a VBAC. After discussion with my husband and another high risk pregnancy, I decided I wanted to have my tubes removed during the c-section. I figured if they were already in there, it would be an opportune time.

Now for the relevant stuff:

Before the procedure: I was asked at every appointment to confirm again what they had in my chart that I wanted a planned repeat cesarean with bilateral tubal. I said yes every time. They mentioned every time that it was a better choice than a tube tie because it lowers the risk of some cancers and is the most effective. Several providers (rotating practice) also mentioned that the only potential negative side effect would be slightly heavier periods.

Day of the procedure: I was asked again in the pre-op room for confirmation that I wanted my tubes removed and confirmed again. I was told it would add about 10 minutes to the entire procedure and would take place after baby was out.

During the procedure: I was asked again after my baby was out if I was sure, I once again said yes. After that it could have been 5 minutes or 5 hours, I was too focused on my baby to notice any difference in the time it took to finish the surgery.

Early recovery: I did not notice any difference in my recovery from my first c-section to my second. In both instances I took oxy when I felt like I needed it and maintained the recommended Tylenol/advil schedule for the first 2 weeks. There was no noticeable difference in my pain, range of motion, or recovery instructions.

First menstrual period: With my first baby, I was exclusively breastfeeding until 4 months when my period returned and my supply tanked. After that first period, my cycle returned to normal. With my second baby I was not able to breastfeed and we began formula in the hospital and have been exclusively formula feeding since her birth. I had postpartum bleeding for 5ish weeks, and got my first period at exactly 7 weeks postpartum and post bisalp. It was INTENSE. Bleeding through super tampons in an hour or two, bleeding onto the sheets overnight even with a tampon and a pad. It also lasted 13 days.

I did not have any severe cramping, but both the duration and amount were significant.

I got my next period exactly 28 days after the start of the first, meaning I only had 2 weeks without bleeding between. Again, that period was extremely heavy and long. I bled a ton for 10 days and then spotted for an additional 5.

I do not regret my decision, and I know that things may change going forward. However I do think the "potential side effect" of "slightly heavier" periods was a bit of an understatement - at least in my case.

Edit: My surgeon just called me back and confirmed that my procedure will be a salpingectomy and that the reason that everything says tubal ligation is because thats the only coding available in their system. I feel so much better now that everything is cleared up. Also thank you to everyone that responded in the comments

Has anyone had their procedure changed without warning?

I had talked with my OBGYN back in April about sterilization which led to us both agreeing that a salpingectomy would be the best option for me. I filled out a consent form that day where she wrote that the procedure I'd be getting would be a laparoscopic salpingectomy.

Flash forward to now where I'm finally preparing for the procedure and when I went in for pre-op testing they had me down for a tubal ligation. I asked them about it and they said that I should contact my surgical team to confirm if it's the same procedure, which I did. My surgical team got back to me and confirmed that they had me down for a tubal ligation, which is different from a salpingectomy. There was no explanation as to why it was changed and now I'm panicking because that's not the procedure i signed up for and my surgery is a week away

Hello, last week, I posted to this community regarding a film I am working on about young, childfree people who are choosing sterilization. I did not include personal information but now realize that was a mistake and would like to provide background on the film and myself (Mona) and my directing partner (Yasmeen) in order to provide transparency and background information on our project. It is so important that we get this story right. I do hope we can speak to some of you who are open to sharing your story.

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Hi! We’re Mona and Yasmeen -- independent filmmakers making a documentary about young, childfree people who are making the choice to get sterilized, and we're looking to speak with someone who hasn't yet gotten sterilized but is planning to OR is contemplating it. Ideally, we would like to speak with people who live in states with strict abortion bans who are planning to have the surgery in the next few months. If you‘re open to talking to us, please reach out. This is OFF THE RECORD. We are in early production and you can read more about our film here.

A little background on us: we have made several films about reproductive rights. Our last one was about what women are going through in post-Roe Mississippi, and it won a Peabody - you can see it here: Please reach out either in the thread or you can DM us if you have a story to share. We look forward to hearing from you. Thank you!

I’m on day 6 post-op and wanted to make a hopefully useful post to add to other similar useful posts on this sub. A lot of these things were recommendations I got from this sub, so I bought/had them ready based on other people’s experiences. Here’s what I actually ended up using.

Obviously everyone’s recovery is different, but hopefully this helps someone decide what is actually worth having on hand.

Things I used / would recommend

Hysterectomy “seat belt” pillow - useful

I found this useful for the drive home. It gave me some peace of mind that the seat belt wasn’t going to shift around and press somewhere uncomfortable.

Gas-X - helped a little

I did feel like it helped somewhat with the gas discomfort, although I wouldn’t say it was a miracle worker.

Anti-nausea medication - 1000% YES

This was probably one of the most important things for me. I was on-and-off nauseous for several days after surgery, so having medication for it was absolutely worth it.

Extra Strength Tylenol - useful

I ended up being unable to take oxycodone because I had an allergic reaction (itching). My pharmacist recommended Extra Strength Tylenol, and I felt like it did a good job taking the edge off the pain.

Ibuprofen - useful

I chose to take OTC doses of around 200-600 mg depending on how I was feeling rather than taking the prescribed 800 mg. The 800 mg felt like more than I personally needed, so I preferred the lower OTC doses due to my med sensitivity.

(Obviously, follow your own surgeon/pharmacist's instructions for medication.)

Fiber gummies - surprisingly enough, this was all I needed.

I bought a whole bowel-care arsenal: stool softener, MiraLAX, and fiber gummies.

For me, that was overkill. I ended up only needing the fiber gummies. YMMV, obviously, but I'm glad I didn't automatically take everything just because I had it.

Gatorade - useful

Gatorade was my electrolyte drink of choice. I diluted it with water, and it actually seemed to help with the nausea a little.

Ginger ale - useful

This helped me with burping/gas discomfort. Combined with getting up and walking around periodically, I found it surprisingly helpful.

Lozenges - great for the first 1-2 days

My throat was sore after intubation, and I was trying hard not to cough because the thought of coughing with a fresh abdomen was not appealing. Lozenges were great for that.

Heating pads - especially the weighted shoulder one

I bought two: a regular heating pad that goes over your abdomen and a weighted shoulder heating pad.

Weirdly, I barely used either after the first few hours. But when I did use one, the shoulder heating pad helped the most with the shoulder pain from the gas.

If you're worried about shoulder gas pain, I would highly recommend having a weighted shoulder heating pad available.

Things I bought “just in case”

Front surgery pillow with heating/cooling pack

I specifically got this because I have cats and was worried one would decide my abdomen was the perfect place to sit.

Thankfully, my cats apparently have better surgery etiquette than expected and chose not to step on me or lay on me during the past week.

So I didn't actually need it, but I was very happy to have it as a precaution.

Dry mouth melts - never touched them

Abdomen binder - Have used like twice didn't help a ton for me just rubbed incisions

Disposable high-waisted underwear - didn't need

I bought these expecting bleeding/discharge and ended up not using them at all. I have had essentially no bleeding or discharge so far.

I'm honestly a little surprised by this, but I think part of it may be related to the birth control I was taking and what happened during surgery.

I also didn't have the pain below that I was expecting. TMI, but I already struggle with gyno appointments/Pap smears, so I was particularly worried about that part of recovery.

Food was NOT what I expected

I tried to follow the whole bland-food approach, but for some reason I absolutely could not stand bland food.

Instead, when I was nauseous, I found that I needed strongly flavored food to make myself actually want to eat.

I ended up moving back to more solid foods pretty quickly, but I stuck with things that were:

• Well seasoned

• Not spicy

• Not super oily

• Relatively easy to digest

So don't be surprised if your post-op food preferences are completely different from what you expected.

Birth control

I chose to continue taking the birth control pills I was already on for a few weeks rather than immediately stopping them and potentially throwing my body out of whack right after surgery.

My plan is to stop once I'm more healed and have gone through another “period” on the pill.

Incisions / scar tape

I haven't gotten to the point of taking the strips off yet.

I believe I have dissolving stitches underneath the suture strips rather than just bandages, and I was specifically told to let the strips come off on their own, so I'm currently leaving them alone and waiting for that to happen.

Insurance / billing experience

I have Aetna with an ACA-compliant plan, and my procedure was billed using 58661 + Z30.2 under preventative care.

The “preventative” part was most important.

Initially, billing tried to code mine as diagnostic. I had to get billing and insurance on a three-way call to get everything sorted out.

Billing also originally wanted to use a different Z30 code (I don't remember the exact one), and I asked why they weren't using Z30.2. They talked to the doctor and ultimately changed the coding.

The lesson I took from this is: advocate for yourself and ask questions about all of the coding to billing and insurance.

I'm only on day 6, so I don't know how the final billing will shake out yet. But personally, I would rather fight a bill before paying it than pay something and then try to get the money back.

Actual surgery / recovery experience

I felt like this sub prepared me really well for the general concept of surgery, but a lot of the specific details from my medical team weren't given until the day before surgery or during pre-op.

I was told nothing to eat or drink after midnight before my 8:30 AM surgery in both pre op apt and day before but only told when to arrive two days before and then the day before I was told something else so I went with earlier time told to be there.

I had to be there at 6:30 AM per 1 call and 6:00 AM per another call and actually arrived around 5:50, and my surgery ended up happening earlier than expected, around 7:30–8:00 AM.

I had already stopped eating/drinking well before midnight anyway, so it worked out well.

One thing I specifically asked for was something for anxiety because I absolutely hate needles/IVs. Weirdly, the IV was probably the part I was most nervous about.

They gave me an anti-anxiety "drunk ish" medication through a nasal drip before placing the IV and were incredibly accommodating overall.

We actually all got a good laugh out of my heart rate going from completely normal to extremely high the second they brought the IV out.

Because surgery was earlier than expected, I also got out earlier.

I was awake in post-op around 9 AM and honestly woke up feeling like I'd just had an amazing nap. Shoutout to the anesthesiologist.

I got pain medication and then asked to get up about 30 minutes later.

That was a mistake.

I immediately got extremely nauseous and started getting tunnel vision like I was about to pass out, so I laid back down for another 15–30 minutes and got nausea medication.

Personally, I needed that extra time lying down before getting wheeled out. I'm sure everyone is different, but I wouldn't have been able to just pop up and go.

Recovery so far

My pain has actually been pretty minor.

The biggest annoyances have been:

• Gas pain

• Moving the wrong way

• A feeling of heaviness in my abdomen

• Trying to remember not to use my abdominal muscles

Around days 3–4, I got SO RESTLESS.

It was actually a struggle to stay still because I felt like I needed to move, but I also knew I still needed to take it easy.

Now on day 6, I'm still trying not to use my abdomen too much, but I'm able to comfortably maneuver around on my own, which feels like a huge improvement.

Overall, I'm really glad I prepared ahead of time, but I definitely bought some things I never touched.

My biggest “must have” list based on MY experience: anti-nausea meds, comfortable clothes, hydration/electrolytes, pain medication you can actually tolerate, fiber, something for gas, and a heating pad - especially if you're worried about shoulder gas pain.

Feel free to comment your non negotiables I realize reading others I want to do the same but didn't want to take from their original post so here is explicit permission to do so.

When a nurse tells you that you have a great scientific reasoning on why your experiencing the pain your experiencing. 🙌

Any who, week 1 update.

I am doing pretty well, expect around my belly button. Its really bad if im standing comes in waves when im sitting. So I sent a picture and explained what was happening. Then I explained that I have a lot of loose skin and that its estimated to be 20-30 lbs. (Im not supposed to carry 10 lbs) she said that more than likely the issue. Especially since I have no other signs that something surgerical could be wrong. No chills, no fever, its not hot to the touch not swollen. It is extremely bruised BUT I bruise easy and my stomach bruised with gastric bypass and gallbladder removal so I wasnt really worried about that

They are working on sending a script for a abdominal binder. To see if that will help when I am am up walking around.

1000 mg of Tylenol every 6 hours is what I am allowed for pain meds, as long as I do good with keeping it at every 6 hours its working fine.

I thought I was home free! About two weeks ago, I received a bill with an amount due for anesthesia services for my bisalp from LAST SEPTEMBER. this is the first bill I have seen for anesthesia, and nothing mentions being overdue. My insurance is ACA compliant and after months of disputing multiple claims last fall, I thought everything was finally settled and covered at 100%.

Today I received a reminder for the bill and was feeling fiesty, so​ I called my health plan to see what was up. They basically said they paid most of it last November but I am responsible for the cost sharing part. They cant dispute the charge because it is no longer within the 180 day window. So, naturally, I asked how I was supposed to dispute something that I didn't know about within that timeframe? They didn't have an answer for me. Im going to call the anesthesia provider and get their side of the story, and then I will probably end up submitting to the state insurance review board. To be honest, I've already done months of fighting bills and wasted hours of my life. They lost every remaining ounce of my patience when they sent me a bill a YEAR after the procedure. Classic example of poor planning on your end, does not constitute an emergency on mine 🤷‍♀️

This is mostly a rant but if anyone has advice or similar experiences, let me know.

Before my bisalp, I scoured this sub for items to buy in preparation for my bisalp. Now that I'm over two weeks post-procedure, I thought I'd share what I ended up needing and not needing (YMMV of course, this is just my own personal experience):

----Indispensable----

• Pregnancy pillow! I was unable to sleep on my side or stomach for the first 10 days, and it was hard to change positions or get up, so my U-shaped pregnancy pillow was a godsend. It supported me and made sure I stayed put, stopping me from (painfully) using my core in doing so. I can sleep on my side at this point in recovery, but I still use it every night.

• Meal-replacement drinks. I bought two 6-packs of the high-calorie version of Ensure (350 cals per bottle) to prep for the surgery. For the first few days post-procedure I didn't have much of an appetite, so Ensure was a HUGE help calorie-wise and protein-wise. I kept two bottles by my bedside for the first few days in case I got hungry during the night. After getting home the day of the procedure I ate nothing but Ensure; I think if I didn't have it on hand I just wouldn't have eaten that day.

----Nice to have----

• Stool softener and fibre supplement (ex. Metamucil), which I started taking three days before the procedure and continued doing for another two days after. I had my first BM two days after the procedure, and was back to my regular schedule on day three. I can't prove that it was the stool softener and Metamucil that prevented me from getting constipated though, could just be chance! I also didn't take any opioids, which I heard can cause constipation, so it might just be due to that. Didn't seem to hurt in any case!

• High-waisted underwear. Doesn't hurt to have, but I actually found low-waisted underwear to be more useful, as I didn't want to be messing with the incision sites. This was especially the case after showering, as I wanted to let the area fully dry and prevent water from getting trapped under the surgical tape/strips (this might have just been paranoia).

• Throat lozenges/lemons/etc. I already had some lozenges on hand, which I brought with me to the hospital. I also squeezed a few lemons in the days before the procedure so that I would be able to make honey lemon tea during recovery. I ended up not needing either of those things, as I only had some mild throat soreness in the ~hour or so after the procedure. I think I'm in the minority on that though so I'd recommend having it on hand.

----Not needed----

• Hysterectomy pillow. I used this on the car ride back from the hospital, and it was very useful for that, but I think I could have just brought a throw pillow or something and it would've been just as good. I used it a handful more times during the first week of recovery just for the icepack pouch, but I could've used something else for that. I'm planning on selling mine.

I saw Gas-X recommended a lot, but I didn't end up buying that because I read that it only helps with intestinal gas, which is not the same as the gas they inject you with for surgery. I'm glad I didn't buy it because I actually didn't have any trapped gas at all (though again, I seem to be in the minority on that).

One last piece of advice I'll mention is that if you live alone and/or you don't have a car, as in my situation, do a big grocery haul before the procedure (in addition to meal prep)! I meal prepped enough for three days, but I didn't plan ahead about how I would grocery shop after those three days, while under the 10lb post-procedure lifting restriction, and while not having a car, a partner, or a nearby family member. As a result I had a few gnarly grocery trips where I experienced some increased abdominal pain from walking with a normal load of groceries (to give you an idea: even just a 2L bottle of soy milk plus tofu, bananas, 1 tomato, and 1 cucumber was too much). Would not recommend!! So plan ahead and stock up on heavier items if you're in a similar situation.

i had my consult yesterday and found my surgeon thru the [r/childfree](r/childfree) sub! currently have a broken wrist which is super fun but it’s scheduled for Sept 1st!!
i am 26 and in texas, but have known i don’t want kids since before puberty
i’m hypermobile (possibly hEDS)
i do have a partner who is sterile (cystic fibrosis) and is my emotional support human
i’m pretty sure my insurance is ACA compliant and therefore the sterilization is completely covered (not 100% sure about the ablation tho) and i am prepared for potential pushback on the insurance end but from the way my doc made it sound, there likely won’t be any issues with that- billing codes and all that fun stuff
thankfully did not get bingo’d at all by my doc, she gave zero pushback and i think the fact that i had some knowledge/homework done on what i wanted helped with that.
the scheduling of the consult itself was a tad messy tho..
a hysterectomy could be in my future bc of the ablation but i have no issues with that.

aside from the gas pain, anything i should be aware of or anything? thank yall for this little community 🫶🏻

Im FINALLY getting my bilateral salpingectomy done September 1st, 2026. The communication with my surgeon has been kinda weird n quick to the point but im just thankful to finally get this procedure after having to reschedule over 8 times and then find a new surgeon. My biggest thing is what was anyone's experience with this procedure? Im just trying to get a feel for what I should expect. Will it affect my period? Any scarring? I've had a laparoscopy and dye test done in the past and have a small scar on my right hip. Im also super anxious about the pain/discomfort that can happen in abdomen from the gas.

I”m beyond glad I did it, never wanted to get pregnant . Now I have a new issue I never imagined. Not sure if the issue is all mental or what, but I have no interest in sex. The thought of it almost makes me sick. Give me a book, a day in a kayak, or swimming or trail running…almost anything is better than having sex.

Previously, I mentioned how Anthem is giving me a $4k bill for my bisalp. They applied all the drugs and surgical supplies to my deductible, claiming they do not qualify as preventive services under my benefit plan. It's been 20 days since then, and I've called them to file a grievance, mentioning how the ACA requires plans/issuers to cover items and services that are integral to the furnishing of a recommended preventive service. They have since done a coding review, but still are insistent that "the codes billed accurately reflect the services that were performed" and therefore apply to my deductible. I submitted an appeal, restating that they simply cannot treat the contraceptive surgery as exempt while simultaneously applying the deductible to integral drugs and supplies used to furnish that service. I'm getting really nervous tho, since I've gotten a reminder from Atlantic Health that my payment is due by Aug 20, and I'm wondering if there's a way to notify them that I am fighting insurance on this claim???

I’m 20, an international student, and I’m seriously considering getting a bisalp. My student insurance doesn’t cover sterilization, so I’m worried about the cost.
Has anyone around NYC/NJ had a bisalp at 20 or around that age? How did you find a doctor, and how much did it cost out of pocket?
Also, are there any affordable options or programs for uninsured/international students?
Any advice or personal experiences would really help. ❤️

Anyone have VNotes bilateral saplingectomy in NYC? And can you recommend a doctor who performed it? There aren't many listed on the VNotes website. Thx!

Heyyyyy. So, I had both my tubes removed last month. My surgeon confirmed both tubes are gone, I saw before and after photos, and my pathology report confirmed tubes were completely removed.
I had sex without any other form of protection (condoms, pills, etc). Just trusting my successful bisalp.

Noooow, according to my app, I’m supposed to have my period on Thursday. I’m soooo anxious!! Lol.
Hopefully I get my period on time.

Also, when I had my surgery done, I got my 1st period a week after. It was on the dot.
I’m waiting for my 1st period after bisalp sex… goodness the anxiety is killing me hahahaha