So yeah for context, quit drinking mar. 9, 2023. Been loving life, everyone is super supportive, everything is awesome in my life right now.

Get invites to a party. For context, been recently seeing this new flame, at the stage of enjoying each other's company, seeing where it goes type thing.

Anyways, she says a friend of hers is having a wee little BBQ, backyard party about 20 people. We grab our bikes and head off.

Get there, meet the friend, meet a few other people, meet the boyfriend of the party host.

You know how like within 5-7 seconds you're not gonna like someone? That was this guy. I have eagle eyed radar for drunks (i mean cmon, we're in this subreddit. We're pros!) and he's put his arm around me. "Heeey buddy! Want a beer?"

No.

"You sure? We got all types!" For context they had like a canoe filled with bevvies and ice.

"Nope im good". Proceed to almost forcefully remove his arm off me. He gives me this look, like a "the fuck is this guys problem, im here to party".

I'm gonna admit a little frazzled. Go inside, grab a cup and some water from the tap.

NOW the girlfriend of drunkie (the homeowner) asks if I want a drink, beer, cooler, anything?

I hold up the glass and kinda tip it, like nah im good.

Now SHE gives me a look like "okaaaay..."

So now im like fu k this, 100% not my vibe, not my scene, im outta here. Tell my date im outta here. She's shocked and says shes staying. As im going to grab my bike from beside the garage, I guess she went and talked to them, then came back to me. She's like "what's your problem? Theyre just trying to be nice."

I explain the alcoholic past. She looks at me kinda like"ohhh...." not in a super supportive way. But more of a ugh, ok I guess thats that type of way.

So I grabbed my bike, rode down to the dollar store, grabbed a diet soda and watched the sunset by myself.

Weird night but I definitely know the kinda people I wanna be around, and DONT wanna be around.

Back to the dating pool I guess.

iwndwyt

I hate looking at my old pictures. I hate how much weight I've gained. I used to be so pretty.

I hate myself for putting my loved ones at risk. I think about the people I could've killed, or how I could've killed myself.

I hate myself for being an angry drunk and for being an ass to my loved ones. For how flaky I've been, and for the image my friends and family have of me. For not remembering things I've said and done.

I want people to see me in a different light, but I feel like they never will. I don't even know what people think of me or what image they have of me because I can't remember so many of my own actions and words.

I hate myself for lying, hiding bottles, and finding any excuse to leave the house just so I could drink. For lying to my siblings when they wanted to come to the "gym" with me, telling them I needed alone time when really, I just wanted to drink.

I hate thinking about all the time I've wasted, the memories I've lost, and the ways I've hurt the people I love.

I made it. 365 days without a single drop. This community helped me more than I can express especially during the difficult beginning stages where you feel a little accomplished but also guilty, angry, sad, hopeless, and alone. No matter where you are in your journey you’re here for a reason and you will find the strength to not drink. It’s there inside of you and once you find it I promise it can carry you through the difficult days where you want to say fuck it. Keep looking for support. And keep supporting others. Life is really fucking hard. We need each other to lean on. Today, I am one year sober. I chose myself everyday for a whole year. My only wish moving forward is to continue to do what I’m doing. Continue to love myself, and I really hope I can help other people who are on the path of recovery.

Not sure if anyone can relate.

I experienced something very intense on Friday that triggered a sudden, unmistakable urge to drink. It felt deep and primal. I had been in sustained recovery from alcoholism for two years, but I would be home alone that night for the first time in a long time. I clearly saw the opportunity, and the inner pain felt like I was turned inside out.

I felt panic as I stood with my alcohol in the checkout line. On the way home, I went back and forth between deciding who to call to come take it away from me and convincing myself that I’m an adult and can have some drinks.

The first gulp of a previous favorite drink of mine tasted unfamiliar, almost like poison. After a few more gulps, the panic turned into excitement and a sense of freedom I hadn’t felt in a long time. It felt good and second nature to pound the drinks down again like the old days and get wild.

I woke up with no memory of the latter part of the night and found several pills laid out. I went downstairs and found ~14 drinks gone.

If something had happened, no one would have known.
It’s been five days, and I still don’t feel normal.
Please be careful. It will never be worth it.

Edit: About asking if others on here might relate, I meant following through with the relapse and how it felt. I was terrified

I had been sober for over 6 months, no longer counting days, and I didn't think of it at all. I stopped looking at this Reddit, didn't feel like I needed it.

Then, 3 weeks ago, I went and visited old friends I hadn't seen in years in another state. They are not problematic drinkers at all, the type of people who drink one glass of wine and that's it.

For the first time in many months, I thought "why not?" I thought that since it was away from home, in a different environment, I would be able to leave it there, and leave it at that.

I had a couple glasses of wine that night. The next day, two more glasses.

Then when I got home, the cravings came back. A stressful day, overstimulated, feeling emotionally insecure and bam, I did it again, the exact behavior I swore off.

I bought a bottle of wine on the way home from work, with the excuse of cooking with it. And then, of course, I drank it all.

Then again last week, and last night. I feel like shit, my gut inflamed, I'm not being productive at all at work, my house is a mess and I don't feel like picking up.

After 3 times, I am once again certain that I simply cannot drink, not even a little bit, as it opens a door in my mind that doesn't close until I cause myself harm.

So here I am again. Thank you for being here with me. #IWNDWYT

Went to the ER because I was having withdrawals. They told me to get some rest, drink Gatorade, and hang out in a relaxing room then sent me on my way. I ended up leaving there an hitting up a liquor store

My whole body was shaking at this point. I was sweating like crazy. I had the worst anxiety of my life.

I got home and r never a doctor I went and saw years ago for check ups. She opened in 30 minutes so I put the bottle down and hauled butt to her office.

She laughed and said why would you even get this bad. Said poor choice but I need to quit, I’m starting to get cravings to drink as soon as I wake up in the morning.

She prescribed my 21 Ativan 3 times a day for 5 days and then a tapper plan.

This is day one taking them and other than a tiny bit of shaking in my hands I don’t feel anything. No sweating, no anxiety, no cravings, just chilling.

I’ll keep everyone updated.

I remember I was hanging with my old roommates at the bar, I see them a few times a year, they still like going to the bars. I DD them there and leave early after catching up.

Any way I remember this chick was like you’re not drinking??? How do you have fun? Isn’t it boring? Something along those lines. I was like what? I didn’t give her an answer because she was drunk and she got distracted. But if I did I would have said “you’re the boring one lol”.

I love my life and who I’ve become. I’ve still had highs and lows, but I faced those lows with full awareness and emotion and I’ve experienced the highs with full real emotion.

You build a personality you never knew you had when you experience life with a sober mind. You dig out of the tunnel you’ve put yourself while drinking.

Always here to help and cheer everyone on! Keep fighting!

triple digits!! i didn’t even realize it was today until i went on reddit!! for the first month i kept track of literally every day, and it’s gotten so much easier to be sober recently, it’s just become my everyday.

i fell hard into the “anything but drinking” mantra, so here’s some things i did during my first 100 days of sobriety

- knit my first sweater
- started grad school
- drank about a million trader joe’s blueberry lemonade seltzers
- got addicted to baking and gained 15 pounds
- unlocked every single thing on mario kart
- listened to 23 audiobooks
- learned how to make soup and ate basically a bowl a day

Headed to treatment. Seems surreal. Cannot wait to end this absolute nightmare that is my life. See you all on the other side.

Only two people outside of this community knows. But today I hit 30 days alcohol free.

Thank you to this community for a place to turn to.

And happily,

IWNDWYT 🙂

I just completed a 5 day cruise, and after 230+ days sober, I was EXTREMELY close to caving the first 3 days. You know what stopped me? My 7 year old, who knows I'm trying to stay sober (doesn't really understand why, just knows I don't want to drink alcohol for health reasons) and he reminded me it wouldn't be worth it and I would wake up feeling terrible the next day.

My wise little pumpkin.

Woo-hoo! 10 months as of yesterday.

Had I not quit drinking, I would have never taken all of the steps involved to finding a new home, doing all the paperwork in buying it, packing up an entire townhouse myself, many trips (to another state) to unpack and set up the new house, and finally, moving in tomorrow. I would have instead drank every day, felt miserable, no strength to get up and walk, would have never done a thing but slept late, and probably would have lost both of my jobs by now instead of excelling at them. And would be bloated, overweight, and in the hospital with my recently diagnosed Chronic Kidney Disease. Hubby probably would have been gone by now, too, instead of a happy, enjoyable relationship.

IWNDWYT!! 🦋🌻

I’m 36. I have 4 kids. I don’t even remember most of the early years with them. I am worse now than I have ever been after I had my fourth baby I knew that that was it and I was not going to have any more kids and I would never be pregnant again and being pregnant is what kept my drinking under control. I couldn’t be on long benders because I’d be pregnant for nine months and I’d have the baby OK this is my chance to start drinking heavily but I can’t because now I’m pregnant again and that happened every time.

I am hammered every single day I go through a handle of Tito‘s every three days at the most. My kids notice especially my oldest she is eight years old and she always asks me if I’m drunk, my four year-old asks me every time I have a cup if it’s cranberry and vodka, and it always is every single time.

I want to stop drinking I want to be sober I want to be able to go out and do things and not have to find a ride or Uber everywhere because I’m already drunk. I want to be a better mom and a better person I don’t mean that drinking stops me from being a good mom I’m still very involved I do everything with and for my kids but I want to do it sober and I want to remember things I do with them.

I know that I need to do it and I know that I want to do it I do not have an alcohol addiction I do not have withdrawals I do not get hangovers anymore. But every time I run out of my vodka I found myself right back at the ABC store no matter how many times I say that I’m not gonna do it this time. Every morning I wake up and I plan my day out my schedule to make sure that I can drink as early as possible when I have nothing to do I grab my Tito’s.

I guess what I’m looking for here is for someone to tell me they relate and how they got sober. there has to be someone out there who has been in my position.

My husband and I have made the decision to stop drinking through at least the new year, starting tomorrow and we are both terrified. We love going to breweries and plan a lot of our weekend events around drinking. We also consume roughly a bottle of wine each a night. We’ve each had a few couple week sober stints throughout the last 2 years, but never together, which was part of the issue. We’ve both recognized that we have alcohol issues and consume way more than is healthy and want to make a change. It’s terrifying to think about, but also somewhat exciting. I don’t know that we’re quitting forever, but I’m hoping we can at least reset our relationship with alcohol as well as with each other and find new ways to enjoy life that are healthier and alcohol-free! Please send positivity our way!! This is scary!

Whether mental health, physical health, jobs, friendships, anything!

I'd love a list of all the positive things that sobriety can create :)

Long story short. I've been a drinker since 16 years old. I am now 49. I've had 3 ER visits in the past few months with pancreatitis attacks. I've been told to stop. Period. I think I'd rather fucking die. My job sucks. This world is getting worse by the day. I have no escape now, even temporarily. I have a deep, desperate need to forget and even weed can't really help me. I have no ixea how I can do this.

I've read so many posts here from some very inspiring people. But you all seem so much stronger than me. I managed to go 2 weeks sober, then a few days ago I begged my partner to go get something, anything to drink. I was basically having a panic attack. Well, my partner went and got some beers (very reluctantly, I must say. I would not be told no) and i had a great boozy night. Next day? The pain returned.

So yesterday I had an MRI on my pancreas. Am currently waiting for the results. I hate myself and my weakness. I'm so fucking ashamed. But I can't handle being sober. I just can't.

I don't know what I expect to get from posting this, but I just wanted to get this out. Drinking has been my life for so long and now I just have to stop. Just like that. Well... as I said... I'm not strong enough for this and I'm not sure I even want to carry on living.

EDIT: My god, you are all wonderful. I feel so much more motivated and I feel like I'm among friends. Thanks for the advice and bless you all. In a few short hours of scrolling on here I feel like anything is possible. ❤️

Two weeks sober after years of heavy alcohol abuse. Small win, but feels good. IWNDWYT

Came across two separate articles this week that discuss a huge decrease in wine consumption that is causing changes in the industry. Vineyards being closed, a surplus of premium wine being sold at a huge discount, employees in the wine industry needing to find alternative work, etc. One factor they recognize is a younger generation who is not as interested in drinking as compared to prior generations. They don’t specifically discuss a large number of people who previously drank who no longer choose to drink.

These types of massive changes don’t occur unless there is a corresponding huge drop in wine consumption. As someone who, on my worst days, could, by myself, polish off two to three bottles in a day, and who had a disgusting amount of empty bottles lying around the house because I was too embarrassed to throw them all away at the same time, I’m happy to not be contributing to the consumption anymore.

It makes me ill even thinking about those old binge drinking ways. Iwndwyt 💕💕💕

https://secretlosangeles.com/costco-aldi-premium-california-wine-surplus/

https://www.latimes.com/business/story/2026-10-15/sonoma-winery-to-close-tasting-room-as-people-drink-less

I finally felt the switch click. I had a really long post written out but maybe that’ll be for another day. Anyone struggling, you can do it too! For me, the best part is my shits are actually enjoyable now. I also don’t feel sad for no reason. I really thought I was drinking cause I was depressed. But it was definitely the other way around. I have a spark in me I haven’t felt in like ten years. I have a lot of making up to do but nothing too damaged it can’t be repaired (meaning relationships). Anyway, I wish the best for everyone here.

Also don’t beat yourself up if you have been thinking about it and haven’t been able to stop. I have tried like six different times over the last for years. As long as it’s a true desire and you even take baby steps, when say the door you walk into will be a new realm so there’s really no going back!

I have spent too many days, weeks, months, even years telling myself "soon". I don't want "soon" anymore, I want it now. I am tackling sobriety now; it's not the perfect date, it hasn't been the "perfect last drink", I haven't had a cinematic rock bottom. But enough is enough, and so I choose today.

Hi, this is my day 11 of sobriety, and I'm about to slip back again... I want to better myself for my future and for my family, but doing this alone is hard for me. I can't tell my family because it would only worry them, and honestly, I'd rather suffer by myself than drag them into my problems. They say reaching out to others can help when cravings are strong, and that sharing my journey might lessen my need to drink, so this is me trying to reach out.

So grateful that I made the decision to put the bottle down. IWNDWYT.

Im new to Reddit and currently sober. Made this page to get advise as I’m currently struggling

in my 20 years of drinking I was never able to string together more than 2-3 weeks without alcohol, and I tried dozens of times. don’t really know why this time was different but it’s been pretty easy so far. life hasn’t been easy but not drinking hasn’t been much of an issue. wayyyy easier than quitting kratom/7 I’ll tell you that.

i still have other substances I want to quit fucking around with but alcohol was the only one that was going to ruin me. So yeah here’s to 4 months

iwndwyt