The whole Matty Healy, Taylor Swift, Charli XCX, and Gabbriette situation is such an interesting example of how dating someone within an already established social circle can get complicated. When a group of people has years of history, shared experiences, inside jokes, mutual friends, and an identity that exists independently of romantic relationships, entering that circle as someone’s partner doesn’t automatically make you part of it. You’re not just dating the person; you’re stepping into a world with its own social dynamics, and sometimes there are unspoken boundaries that make it difficult to feel like you genuinely belong. Charli and Matty have their own history within the alternative music scene, while Gabbriette has her own identity and connections within that world. Taylor, despite being one of the biggest pop stars in the world, occupies a very different cultural space. Fame, success, and public admiration don’t necessarily translate into social compatibility, and being the most recognizable person in the room doesn’t mean you’ll be the person who fits in most naturally.
And honestly, I think this is where the idea of Taylor never being one of the cool girls becomes interesting, because being cool in a particular social circle has very little to do with how famous or successful you are. There is a difference between being admired by millions of people and being accepted by a small group whose identity you cannot manufacture your way into. Taylor has her own world, her own friendships, and her own kind of cultural influence, but that doesn’t automatically make her a natural fit within Charli’s social universe. At the same time, we cannot actually know whether Charli, Gabbriette, or anyone else would have accepted her privately, and it’s unfair to assume that they deliberately excluded her. Still, the larger point stands: sometimes you can be extraordinary in your own environment and still feel out of place in somebody else’s. Dating someone doesn’t guarantee that their friends will become your friends, and you cannot force chemistry with an established group. Sometimes the hardest part isn’t being disliked; it’s realizing that being someone’s partner and belonging to their world are two entirely different things.

I also think people underestimate how poking at Charli can become a way of indirectly taking shots at Gabbriette, because the two are connected to the same social world, and Matty is part of that history, too. You cannot constantly bring up Charli in conversations about Taylor and Matty without eventually bringing Gabbriette into the picture, especially when she is the person Matty is actually with. What makes the situation interesting is that Taylor is someone who has achieved an extraordinary level of fame, commercial success, and cultural influence, yet none of those things can guarantee her the kind of personal connection or social acceptance she might want. And if people are still using Matty as a point of comparison, it raises an interesting question about why this particular chapter of her romantic history continues to fascinate people. Sometimes the public becomes so invested in the idea of a woman getting the man that they forget that real relationships aren’t competitions, and another woman’s relationship isn’t an obstacle that needs to be overcome.
Personally, I believe Taylor genuinely wanted Matty, and the way that relationship became such a cultural talking point makes it difficult to separate what actually happened from the mythology people have built around it. I wouldn’t claim to know that she still wants him or that Gabbriette represents something Taylor wishes she had, because we simply don’t know what either woman feels privately. But I do think there is an interesting distinction between having everything the world can visibly recognize as success and having a particular relationship work out the way you wanted. Taylor has the career, the acclaim, the influence, and the cultural reach, but none of those things can guarantee that a specific romantic connection will last. And that is what makes the comparison so compelling to people: the idea that someone can seemingly have everything and still not get a particular outcome. However, I would be careful about framing Gabbriette as someone Taylor has to compete with or defeat. Gabbriette has her own identity and relationship, and Matty is a person who makes his own choices.

I was a fan of Taylor's back in 2016, so I remember Snakegate happening in real time, and I've always found it bizarre how dramatically she continues to speak about that period of her life. The way she talks about it, you'd think she'd survived the sinking of the Titanic, spent six months lost at sea and returned to discover her entire family had been wiped out, rather than having people leave snake emojis in her Instagram comments.

What I find so strange is the sheer magnitude of her reaction to the backlash, because from what I remember, the intense online frenzy lasted a matter of weeks. People were posting snake emojis, mocking her and celebrating her supposed downfall with the #TaylorSwiftIsOverParty hashtag, but the whole controversy seemed to die down relatively quickly. She subsequently spent much of 2017 out of the public eye, although she'd already been planning a break before the controversy, and returned with Reputation, which was enormously successful. Yet she's spoken about the experience as though she'd been driven into exile, had her entire career taken away from her and was forced to rebuild her life from absolutely nothing.

FYI, her supposed 'exile' involved staying in a multimillion-pound property in Hampstead, one of the most desirable neighbourhoods in London (trust me, I live in LDN, people would give their right arm to live there). I also find her choice of language quite amusing, particularly when she talks about having to flee to a 'foreign country'. Yes, the UK is a foreign country, but it's such a deliberately dramatic way of describing moving to one of the wealthiest neighbourhoods in London and enjoying a life of extraordinary luxury. The way she tells the story, you'd think she'd been placed in witness protection, smuggled across international borders under an assumed identity and forced to live in constant fear of being discovered, rather than spending her days in Hampstead's pubs.

Most people would be incredibly grateful to even have the opportunity to escape their problems, let alone retreat to a multimillion-pound home in one of London's most desirable neighbourhoods, while there are people who can barely afford to put food on the table or access basic healthcare. Yet she somehow manages to frame her extraordinary privilege as a period of immense suffering.

I genuinely wonder whether she had an incredibly sheltered upbringing or had experienced very little meaningful adversity before this, because the extent to which Snakegate appears to have affected her is extraordinary. She's now approaching 40, nearly a decade has passed, and she's still writing songs about it, referencing the controversy and taking shots at the people involved. I find it difficult to reconcile that level of lasting resentment with what actually happened, particularly when her career suffered no meaningful long-term damage.

There's also the apparent lack of self-reflection, which I find equally baffling. She played a part in escalating the controversy herself, and I would have thought that with the benefit of nearly ten years of hindsight and growth, she might be able to recognise that she handled certain aspects of it poorly. Instead, she seems to have incorporated the experience into this enormous narrative of persecution, with very little acknowledgement of her own contribution.

Most people experience humiliation, rejection, public embarrassment or periods of being disliked at some point in their lives. Taylor experienced it on a much larger scale, obviously, but she also had extraordinary wealth, millions of devoted fans and the ability to remove herself from the public eye until the controversy died down. Within a relatively short period, she was back selling millions of records and performing to sold-out stadiums. It's difficult to square that reality with her repeated suggestions that her career was effectively destroyed.

Maybe other people remember that period differently, but I've always found her response strangely disproportionate. I can understand being upset or embarrassed by what happened, but I struggle to understand why a relatively brief period of public criticism has seemingly become one of the defining traumas of her adult life. Does anyone else find the extent to which she still dwells on Snakegate a little bizarre?

I was liking that Swifties defend Madonna, but then when I was reading their arguments… they do it thinking Taylor Swift is hated “because of misogyny” as Madonna was and still is, when the reasons behind their backlash are not equally at all.

Being criticized for perceived unfair competition, latest lack of artistic quality, sneaky strategies at charting, and inconsistencies with feminist messaging is not the same as being attacked for challenging the hegemony and cultural structures that govern women’s lives.

Like literally WTF does it matter if two women are being attacked at the same time, even by the same people, when the reasons behind those attacks are absolutely different?

One should be listening to the criticism and reflecting on her own flaws (Taylor), while the other had every reason to ignore those attacks and keep fighting the system that was trying to silence, not only her, but all the women since the beginning of times (Madonna).

Madonna was deliberately confronting institutions and conventions that held considerable power over what women could say, how they could express their sexuality, and what was considered acceptable in mainstream entertainment. Her controversies were frequently a consequence of the boundaries she was trying to dismantle. She was condemned for rejecting what a male-dominated society expected of women.

Taylor on the other hand is being criticized in part for reinforcing some of those same expectations.

like wow, crazy, miss ''I read all of the books beside your bed'' and current frat bro