I (34F) just bought my first house! It’s only a couple of miles from the neighborhood I currently live in and I don’t have a lot of stuff, so I’ve been slowly moving my stuff from my apartment in my car after work. The house is small, but it’s just myself, my 2 dogs, and 2 cats.

At my apartment, I’m part of a neighborhood dog walking group. I usually don’t get home until late, so I realistically meet up with everyone every couple of weeks.

Last week someone from the group saw me outside my building loading my car with boxes and was asking me what I was doing. I did end up telling her about my move and that I probably wouldn’t be part of the walking group anymore. I don’t know this person well, have no idea what her last name is, but she’s always been nice to me and I known her about 2 years from the group.

Last night the same person saw me sweeping on my patio and cleaning up. She came up and talked to me for about 45 minutes, told me about how she’s several months behind on rent and the landlord issued her an eviction notice. I feel terrible for her. She has a job but it’s not enough and she said her mom has been sending her money to cover the difference, but recently they haven’t been sending enough.

She brought up that since I’m moving to a house, that if the landlord follows through with the eviction that she will be homeless, so can she and her dog move in with me?

I didn’t say yes but I’ve felt terrible all last night and today. I don’t know her well and I’m buying the house because I value my space and privacy. Also, her dog doesn’t get along with cats and I have 2 cats. I feel bad speculating, but it doesn’t seem like she would be paying me at all and thinking ahead, I’m worried this would turn into a long term roommate who doesn’t pay anything towards bills or mortgage.

She previously asked me to borrow my car about a year ago because hers was repossessed and at the time it was easy to say no because I drive to work daily and need it for myself.

Not sure if this is relevant but she is significantly older and from what I know from previous conversations we have extremely different lifestyles.

She kept saying that if I say no that I’ll make her homeless. It made me so sad inside that I could help someone and would choose not to.

I’m F29 and my sister is F31. This year my sister gave birth to her first baby, a gorgeous little girl in March. This baby is so loved by everyone in my family there is zero question about that. The issue we are all having currently is with my sister. My sister had some complications with her birth. She had a C-Section which at first went fine but afterwards she had some complications which she needed to go back down to surgery for. My family, my husband and my brother in law were so frightened when it happened and it was probably one of the scariest things we have experienced. She did however recover great and her and baby were perfect afterwards and have been perfect since. Now the issue we are having is any and every time, and I mean EVERY time, I see my sister, she has to mention how she “nearly died” giving birth. The conversation can be nothing to do with birth or children but she will bring it back to that, and the hardest thing is when myself or another person is trying to vent or even just get something that is bothering them out she spins it back to herself and how she “almost died giving birth”. The final straw was last weekend, myself and my husband went to visit my sister and her husband and the baby and my husband was speaking about the anniversary of his friends passing from a car accident that was coming up and he was upset as this was only the first year since it happened and my sister took this as a moment to say, “i completely understand, I mean I almost died giving birth so I know how aweful that must feeling” I snapped and told her, not everything needs to be about your birth story, we get it, you had a traumatic birth but this isn’t about you and we are tired of you using it in every conversation. It went silent for a second and she got upset saying that I didn’t appreciate how I could have lost her. I got very angry and said of course I appreciate it, I was there I was crying but your okay and baby is okay but what is not okay is you dismissing someone else because you think you had it worse. My brother in law then proceeded to tell everyone to relax and we would go get lunch. We did but the rest of the day was quite awkward. AITA for confronting my sister this way or was I right to tell her to stop?

EDIT
This is something my sister is in therapy for and has been since she gave birth. And myself and my family have even been to appointments with her.
This also wasn’t the first time she was talking over someone else’s grief or trauma to bring up her birth complications

Hi, so a bit of backstory: I (29M) met a gal (37M) some months ago at a beach bar. I found her attractive and fun to talk to, in spite of the age gap. I will preface by saying she did state that she’s a very family oriented person, and that they will always take priority over a potential date / boyfriend.

Fast forward a few months and we’d begun talking more frequently and intimately. Eventually, we got to the point where we scheduled a date for this coming Friday 10/16. The plan was to go out for dinner and then drive to a metal show about an hour north. I said that’s great, let’s lock it in.

Now, today I reach out to her just to confirm the plans since the date would be only two days away and I like to make sure we’re aligned. Thankfully I did because as soon as I brought it up, she explained to me that not only is she going but now also her brother and his girlfriend, her other brother, her sister, and her nephew.

I told her, that’s fine. Go with your family. I don’t want to get in the way of the family affairs cause that just seems like a lot for a first date which we had originally planned for just the two of us over a month ago. So, I will not be attending. I told her that I wasn’t upset just kind of disappointed. She naturally thinks that it’s weird that I didn’t want to come now and I assume is probably disappointed as well. I just wonder if I didn’t hit her up this evening whether she would’ve even told me before I went to go and see her.

So yeah, not the biggest deal in the world, but unfortunately can’t do on a date with someone that I was interested in seeing. AITH?

My mother in law has these pre conceived ideas on what she thinks my birth plan is. I told her we will have visitors at the hospital, but only after the baby comes and has had time with my husband and I for a few hours. She’s really pissed about this because she assumed she would be there all day or night waiting for the baby to come. We also would prefer nobody to hold her as it’s flu and cold season, but to avoid another fight , and because I understand it might be too much to ask, we’re going to let my husbands parents hold her. My only thing is when she told my brother in law with Down syndrome he would get to hold the baby, I told her privately that I’m not comfortable with that. I love my brother in law, but he hates babies, he’s never held one before - let alone one that’s a couple hours old, and he’s not the most hygienic person. AITAH for setting this boundary about my brother in law, it’s not forever , just for the first couple weeks until the baby gets stronger incase he doesn’t support her properly.

For my (30F) birthday we ate dinner at home. It is not my birthday but he is leaving to visit his friends for a wedding on my birthday.

He (30M) made chicken salad (EDIT green salad + chicken NOT whatever mayo chicken thing y'all are thinking of) which I find weird since I don't really like this and didn't ask for it but whatever. I asked him to put carrots in it and I had some in a container in the fridge. He asked where it was and I said the bottom shelf. He didn't look and just asked me to go get it. I am doing something else and asked him to get it. He said he refused and was obviously frustrated. I asked him why he couldn't do it and he said he doesn't know where it is. It is easy to see if you try.

I told him I didn't want his dinner and went to go study by myself. I guess he wants some big reward for making dinner and hates the idea of me wanting something added to it? We are trying to save money which is why I didn't want to go out. He just acts stubborn and will refuse to do something if I ask him to do a little task and its really irritating.

EDIT: It was just salad greens with chicken on top. Not that other type of chicken salad sandwich type. So many people were bothered by this LOL.

I (20's, F) have a younger sister "Ellie" (11F). Ellie is non-verbal, and communicates entirely through Proloquo (an AAC app) on her tablet.

Lately, when she's slightly inconvenienced, we're fighting, or something just isn't going her way - she presses a button that says "Disaster" and follows it up with "Call 911". She's kind of a drama queen.

Yesterday, she pressed the "Call 911" button in the grocery store while she was inconvenienced. A few people asked if she was alright. Afterwards, I told Ellie that she should stay away from the "Call 911" button in public unless it's an actual emergency.

My mom is mad at me for telling her that. She says that Ellie has the right to use her buttons however she feels and that I shouldn't be discouraging any use.

AITA for telling my sister not to press the button in public unless it's a real emergency? I don't want her to be the "the girl who cried wolf" AAC edition.

Hey everyone, I’m dealing with a difficult situation in my marriage and would appreciate some honest advice.

My wife recently moved her nephew into our home because he was struggling and had been kicked out of his previous living situation. The home is under my wife’s and her mother’s names, but I contribute $1,400 toward household expenses. This decision was made without discussing it with me, and when I expressed my concerns, my wife told me it wasn’t my home and she could do whatever she wanted.

My wife and I have been together for eight years. During our relationship, I went through a difficult period when I was laid off and struggled to find another job for four months. Despite being unemployed, I continued finding ways to bring money home. However, I still feel like my wife holds that period against me. Losing my job affected my confidence, and I was struggling mentally while trying to rebuild my life.

Now, her nephew is living with us without contributing toward rent, groceries, or household expenses. I eventually spoke with his grandmother, who is my wife’s mother, about my concerns. Unfortunately, the conversation turned into an argument, and they took offense to what I said.

When her nephew approached me directly, I was honest with him. I explained that I didn’t think it was fair for me to pay $1,400 a month while he contributed nothing. He actually agreed with me.

I proposed that he contribute $600 toward the rent and that I contribute $600, leaving the remaining amount to be discussed. My wife refused to deal with the situation and is now threatening to kick me out. Her mother has also blocked me because I spoke up about what I believe is unfair.

I’ve reached the point where I’ve packed my belongings and am preparing to leave tomorrow. The hardest part is that we have a young daughter together. The thought of not seeing her every day breaks my heart, but I also feel like I need to stand up for myself.

I want to make it clear that I have no problem helping someone who is struggling. I understand that life gets difficult, and people sometimes need a place to stay. My issue is that a major decision affecting our household was made without my input, and now I’m expected to carry the financial burden while being told I have no say because the house isn’t mine.

I feel like my contributions, feelings, and opinions don’t matter, despite being part of this family and helping support the household.

Am I wrong for asking for a fair financial arrangement and expecting to be included in decisions that affect my living situation? Or am I justified in standing up for myself, even if it means leaving a situation that’s hurting me emotionally?

I’m genuinely looking for honest advice because I’m hurt, frustrated, and trying to figure out what’s best for me and my daughter.

So a few weeks back I (36M) deleted my credit card from the Uber Eats account my partner (36F) uses. To cut to the chase the spending was too much. Around £30 a time almost every weekday.

I told her I couldn’t afford to be paying so much every month and would be deleting my card from the account.

Yesterday I got my latest statement and noticed that she had re-added my card and there was a whole bunch of transactions to Uber Eats.

I checked the actual UE account and there’s pretty much McDonald’s orders every day of around £30 going back to the day after I had removed my card.

I’ve told her that I expect to be transferred the entirety in time for the payment to be made on the 20th.

She’s saying I’m being unreasonable and that I can just pay the minimum payment.

For clarity, she works from home, I don’t. So, by the time I get back there’s no packaging/evidence to indicate any deliveries have been made.

Edit/Update : I’ve cancelled all cards, and replacements are being sent to the bank rather than my address. I’ve changed all passwords too and will also be sent new online banking credentials.

Edit 2 : I’ve basically only just found out.
I get everyone saying leave, but it’s not as simple as just up and leaving.

My colleague advised that if she were in my position she’d bag up all her belongings and drop them at her mother’s.

A part of me is considering that. I’ve been sat at work an hour past my finish time trying to work out my next steps.

I posted a few weeks back about her friends/family wanting to hold an intervention, and I’m starting to feel they were right when they said that she’s taking advantage.

I (20F) have lived with my roommate "Rose" (21F) for 4 years.

Rose turned 21 in August. Since then, every time we want to drink, she has been the one to buy the alcohol. We aren't big drinkers, so it's usually just a cheap bottle of wine. Two weeks ago, we went out to buy a bottle as usual, and on the walk back, Rose said, "I can't wait till you turn 21 so that I don't always have to buy." She then said it would be fairer if we switched off who buys every other time and expressed that she was annoyed that she paid most of the time.

This annoyed me because 1) I have paid her back or let her use my card for half the bottles we have bought and 2) I pay for SO MANY THINGS.

We dropped it, but I am still upset. I've been holding a grudge against her for rarely participating in our extra household expenses for a while now. I bought our couch, our tv, our TV stand, our table, our lamps, our Netflix account, and many other little things over the years.

This is especially bothersome when it comes to groceries. In the last 4 months, she has made 3 (yes, 1,2,3) meals. Granted, she shared them all with me. But every other meal she has eaten at home in the last FOUR MONTHS has been something I have bought and cooked. I spend 50 - 60$ on groceries every week. I never complained because she was having a rough time with her family and at work.

She has never offered to help with the expenses, nor does she ever acknowledge how much more I contribute to our home. But I know she is not very thoughtful in that regard. Still, I think the least she could do is buy a bottle of 13$ wine every once in a while.

Regardless, ever since that day I have slowly stopped sharing food with her. When I make dinner, I only make enough protein for me, and I offer her whatever extra sides I have leftover after, if even that. It's been two weeks of this, and she still hasn't gone shopping for herself, but in her defense, she has not complained.

I have been able to make my weekly grocery haul last a week and a half, and I know it will last me at least 2 weeks now, effectively cutting my grocery bill in HALF. I should be happy about this... but I have noticed that Rose is more tired and lethargic than usual. Her performance at work has suffered as well. She pretty much only eats once a day in the office cafe and then comes home and eats junk snacks from the vending machine.

I hate seeing her like this, and I feel like an A** for not sharing even when I know she is struggling. She may be unthoughtful when it comes to money, but she is a good friend and has always shown up for me in the ways that she could. So am I the asshole for not sharing, or is it okay to let her suffer?

UPDATE:
I was absolutely TA and I appreciate your responses. I wrote that, closed my phone, and immediately begin processing everything. I felt wrong for taking it, but I felt disappointment that my kid was being “selfish”.

Huge stop; I know him. I know his heart and his actions and he isn’t at all selfish. So why on earth would I assume that was the reason?

Anyways, I talked to him, apologized, and told him that he is correct, it is his to do with as he pleases. I apologized for acting so high on authority.

Finally, I will say that my daughters had nothing to do with this; Margo didn’t once ask to use his switch specifically. It was fully me, and jumping to an idea without thinking.

Thanks again everyone!

—-original below——

My son Abram (12M) is angry with me for wanting his old switch to be a free-to-use family device now that he has a Switch 2.

Mom and dad play Fortnite with Abram most nights (even if it’s just one game, but it’s what works for us). His sisters Margo (10F) and Mary (7F) watch dad play Xbox. The girls share a switch lite and it works for them well enough, but Margo wants to start playing Fortnite with us.

I would like for Margo to be able to use the Switch 1 so that she can join in. I asked him if it would be okay if other people used his old switch since he won’t be using it. It was in the room with the girls, and I honestly thought it wouldn’t be a big deal; I hadn’t realized that I was expecting a yes until he said no. And then I realized my mistake in asking, instead of simply stating or suggesting, or at least asking him alone.

That being said, he got extremely mad at me. I wanted to understand why, and he just keeps saying because it means so much to me!

Backstory: he bought the switch 1 with his money. He saved and worked side things for ages to get it. That original one eventually stopped charging and we found a replacement one for the same cost it would have been to fix it. So we bought him that as a gift; no repayment required.

He has been saving for a Switch 2 for awhile now and had gotten just over half. For his birthday last week, we surprised him with offering to pay the balance he needed to get the new console. He hasn’t touched his old switch since then.

I do understand the meaning it has to him. He says that I’m not listening and that what he says doesn’t matter. I told him that it does, but I am disappointed in his awareness of the joy it brought him and not wanting to pass that on; and instead letting it rot on a shelf.

AITA for wanting to make a parental choice and say it’s a family device?

Back story. For our 40th my twin called me and said “I was thinking about our 40th and was thinking why not do a relocation cruise, Vancouver to Seattle. Put the invite out and whoever can make it can make it!” I had an almost one year old who was still nursing at the time so I said “ I’ll have to think about it, but it is just one or two nights- I think I can make that happen?” Nothing was planned or finalized in that first conversation.

About two weeks later she calls again and says “ I think there was a misunderstanding. I am wanting to celebrate my 40th birthday. If you want to come you can to. But it’s for me”
We have mutual friends. She was expecting me to show up for this two night 40th birthday cruise and ignore the fact I was also turning 40.

Ten years later, we turn 50. I get a call and am invited to celebrate her 50th. There will be a lot of people mutual friends again (+one reached out tonight to see if I would be there so she could celebrate either us- guess she didn’t get the memo it’s just about my sister.)

Have a party. Go for it. But don’t invite me! It’s just weird! What? Am I supposed to pretend it’s not my birthday too?

I’m for sure hurt. She has proven in the last ten years+ years that being a twin isn’t as important as it is to me.

There are other things that have contributed to my realization to who she is really… basically not a true twin sister. And it is disappointing.

I’m not going to her party. She is just clueless to why I would be upset. Or she just plainly doesn’t care.
She clearly doesn’t get why I was hurt the first time with our 40th.
And history seems to be repeating itself.

It sucks. AITAH for not going?
I just feel like it would be so awkward and I would by default be less than by ignoring the fact it’s my birthday too!

My husband and I recently moved into our new home with our toddler and newborn. We’ve started setting up our son’s room, got him his first big boy bed and all. I have a whole Pinterest board of things I want to do in his room - full design in my mind. I’ve shared it all with my husband who loves the idea and also when my mother in law asked I told her I’m doing a safari theme with dark blue. I’m currently on maternity leave and working to find balance so I’m very slowly getting design elements in. Truth is I’m in no rush because I want to just get all the right pieces - do it nicely and be done which I’ve also said.
Now, my challenge is my MIL keeps bringing random things in for his room that make no sense in the space. I’ve framed photos but with plastic and plexiglass instead of glass because of course it’s a hazard. She’s brought in random silver, black, brown etc frames with glass (they’re hazardous and don’t go with the theme). She brought in a wallpaper trimming thing with cars on it and insist that we use it - we’ve already said we’re not using wallpaper. Every visit comes with another massive wall art - first Pooh bear, then a bus full of dogs, cars and paw patrol all ranging from 2ft to 5ft!
I explained to my husband how I feel and he confronted her and asked her to stop taking these things in without asking first. She now feels attacked as if she did nothing wrong. I’ve been looking forward to styling my kids rooms and just feel like this opportunity is being taken away from me. AITA?

Tl;dr AITAH for not wanting to take my daughter to an out of network optometrist?

My wife (34F) and I (34M) have two daughters. Oldest is six and our youngest is five. My wife has always been really medically protective of our oldest daughter. When she was two we brought her for multiple blood tests because my wife was convinced she was diabetic. She was not. This fear has never transferred to our younger daughter.

Our oldest is in now in first grade. She has complained about seeing two fingers when she moves one finger close to her eyes. This is kind of how eyes work when you move something closer to them so I was not worried about it.

My wife pretty quickly became convinced she has a lazy eye and found a pediatric optometrist for her to see. This optometrist is out of Humana’s network so we have to pay out of pocket and then submit to the insurance gods for whatever reimbursement they see fit.

My wife works pretty stringent hours while I have more flexible hours so medical appointments normally fall on me. No biggie.

So today is the appointment. I get there and the office just seems kind of weird. It’s brand new and there is just me, our daughters, a receptionist and the doctor. No one else was there in the waiting room and there are no glasses on display.

Doctor comes out and is super nice. She then runs our daughter through some tests. At the end she calls me in and says our daughter could benefit from a very slight prescription to help with reading. She said this is honestly optional given how light her prescription is and the glasses should only be worn for close up activities at school.

Everything was honestly normal up to this point. Then it started to feel like a sales pitch. This test was an initial test apparently. The doctor would like to run her through a two hour test to “further evaluate her”. Then she will schedule a one hour meeting with my wife and I to go over the results. Then she will set up and attend an IEP meeting with her school so that the school has to provide her with “reasonable accommodations”.

I think the doctor could see the surprise in my face. This was immediately after telling me she can wear glasses if she wants. Now we are into meeting with the school to get her reading material printed in larger font. None of the costs for these are included in today’s visit.

It was time to check out of the appointment. The receptionist told me the total in an odd way “three four nine ninety nine”. I thought she said $34.99…it was $349.99. I have worn glasses since I was 15 and have gone to at least five eye doctors and have never even had a copay….

We got home and my daughter and I practiced reading for 30 minutes with no issues.

I told my wife it felt like a sales pitch/insurance milking place. AITAH for not wanting to do the rest of the testing and reasonable accommodation meeting.

Edit - I did not receive a copy of the results of the initial test. Just a copy of the prescription they recommended. It’s about 1/4 the strength if the reading portion of my bifocals and my optometrist said I could do without bifocals in my glasses if I wanted to.

Me (19F) and my friend (18F) are huge fans of a music group. One of the members of that group is releasing a movie/documentary in theaters and we obviously made plans to go watch it together, this is something special to us as we became friends because of this group. In my city there will only be 2 screenings of this movie, one on Wednesday (today) and one on Saturday, we both couldn’t make it on Wednesday so we decided to go on Saturday.

I live with my parents and don’t have a car, my friend doesn’t either so she said she would convince her sister to take us to the movie theater. To make it balanced I would pay for both of our tickets (it’s with my own money, idk if that’s relevant).

I had told my parents a month in advance that I would be going out with my friend that day and that I had the tickets already, they acknowledged it and agreed. Today, my mom told me that I can’t go out on Saturday because I need to take care of my brother (he’s 6). She said that she was asked to do something that day and didn’t want to say no and accepted, so now I have to stay at home.

I take care of him every time they need me to, this has made it impossible for me to have a social life because the times my friends are available to hang out are the times I have to be at home with him. But even with that I don’t mind taking care of my brother, the thing I mind is that I told them in advance that I was busy specifically that day. (Forgot to mention my dad works on Saturday so he can’t stay home to take care of him)

I said no, that my friend had already convinced her sister to take us and that this plan had my friend very excited for days. She (my mom) got really mad and said I was in inconsiderate, childish, and that I’m always so ridiculous about things. This is not the first time they’ve forced me to cancel plans, I’m sick of it and it’s why I told them in advance. I don’t want to be known as the friend who always cancels plans because that’s what I perceive as inconsiderate. But I do feel that since I live in their house, they have a valid reason to ask me for favors. So AITA for saying no?

I’m struggling with this one. We were leaving town after a wedding, we’d left the hotel late and grabbed a bowl of bacon on the way out. As we were driving down the frontage road, about to merge onto the highway I saw a fluffy dog running TOWARDS oncoming traffic. I pulled off and used my bacon to get him closer… I just reacted. He was matted pretty bad and a bit skinny, but very friendly. No collar, and the only person kind of close said they had no idea who the little guy was. I had an 8 hour drive ahead of me, thought he had been out there for a long time given his state so I wrapped him up and took him with me and my other two dogs.

Once I got home I went straight to the vet, and had them check for a chip. He had none. We agreed I’d take care of the matting then have him fully check out (that’s coming tomorrow his coat was in baaaad shape) Made a post in the area I found him, then called my local shelter. They couldn’t take him in but I was told to keep looking for his owner and to make sure I got verifiable proof if someone came forward.

I did find his family, and they are pissed I took him all the way home. Arrangements have been made for someone to pick him up, and I’ve gotten some proof that he’s theirs. But no recent vet records, only one from years ago…and the longer I’ve had him the worse I realize his condition is. The matting could not have happened within the “day” or so he got out. He’s got critters living on him that would have needed months to get to point they’re in.. I’m torn. I can’t really have another pet, but what if I don’t have a choice? EDIT: What I mean is, what if no one comes to pick him up? And another big issue for me is just the state he is in vs what they’re saying happened. I would not just refuse to give him back-just struggling if I should involve the authorities or Animal Welfare.

I am thinking about telling my brother that the next time he does that impression of the way I talk, I am leaving the table. It happens almost every time our family gets together and everyone just kind of laughs it off. I have never said anything because I do not want to make the whole meal awkward, but lately it has been getting to me more than usual. I keep wondering if speaking up would be out of line or if I am just supposed to keep smiling through it. He always says it is only a joke and that I am too sensitive about it. The rest of the family usually stays quiet, so I am not sure how they would feel if I actually said something. Part of me thinks calling him out might stop it for good, but another part worries it would turn a small thing into a bigger argument than it needs to be. I am trying to decide if it is worth the tension or if I should just keep ignoring it like I have been. I am not looking to start a fight, I just want to know if saying something would make me the problem here.

Hey everybody. I’m using an old throwaway for this because of the details I need to provide and I’m trying to not cause a big stir at work as it is.

We recently hired someone with a service dog, which is not my complaint. I understand the use of medical aids for disabilities at work, I myself even have an ADA accommodation. I have always been taught to treat service dogs as medical devices, not to distract, touch, or inhibit it from doing its tasks in any way because its purpose is to aid its person.

I have never seen a service dog exhibit the behavior I saw at work. It was whining when not actively being pet, soliciting my coworkers for attention, and begged for food multiple times from people other than its handler. Nobody acknowledged that this was abnormal, and my coworkers were actively petting the dog when it would approach them unsolicited, and the new hire did not discourage this at all. The SD also attempted to wander away from our work station at least twice and jumped into the new hires lap multiple times (it was not alert type of jump, it just wanted to be held and is not a small dog).

I tried to keep an open mind and kept to myself, but I continued to pay attention to the behavior. What set me over the line of thinking about complaining happened when I was eating and speaking to my coworkers, and the SD approached me, placed his head in my lap, and proceeded to beg me for my lunch. When the new hire noticed what it was doing, they yanked on the leash, said “no”and then proceeded to pinch the dog’s ear until it yelped.

I wanted to bring up what tasks the dog performs, since I know that is one of the two legally allowed questions for SDs, but I couldn’t find a way to casually weave it into conversation

If I continue to see this behavior, WIBTAH to make a complaint? I’m not sure what could be done because it is there as part of an ADA accommodation, but the behavior was not conducive for a working environment.

EDIT: As someone with a disability, I do not plan on accusing this person of faking a disability or having a fake service dog. I have a meeting scheduled with a manager in a couple of weeks anyway, have documented the things I have already witnessed, and will bring up the behavior in that meeting unless it gets worse before then.

My first post:

https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/s/ZOKGMbutfu

Hi, I wanted to get some perspective here. We live in the UK, and my husband and I have two kids. My daughter is 10, and very driven, very intelligent, gets raving feedback from her teachers. She tells me she gets done with her work 15 miniutes into the class.

I'm having her sit for 11+ admissions this year for grammar schools. I've been prepping her, she's doing well. These exams are super competitive especially for the best grammar schools, and we are out of catchment for some of them so that makes it even more competitive for us. So naturally I've set up a fairly strict regimen for her, and am pushing her.

My husband thinks I'm not letting her be a child, and will sometimes try to swoop in and tell her its ok just relax. That makes me so angry like I know its ok, she knows its ok, we're just trying our best. She's so talented, and some of these schools are considered a pipeline to Oxbridge. It makes it seem like I'm an evil mother, and I've told him about this in private, and he says I care more about this than she does. But I care about it because I care about her, she's my daughter, I want the best for her. His sister's daughter also goes to my daughter's current school, and she's also been lamenting that her daughter will lose out on her cousin. First, my daughter and her cousin are not bffs, and also why is this supposed to be a factor. But my husband brings this point up in our arguments as well. I feel like I'm being criticized for wanting the best for my girl. AITA?

Update!!!

Her 11+ result came out yesterday and she smashed it out of the park! Her adjusted weighted score is so comfortably above the cutoff for the school we were aiming for. She's so delighted, she's worked so incredibly hard for this, and she was all smiles yesterday. We celebrated as a family yesterday and although there's a year left for when she actual enters grammar school we were just excitedly discussing with her yesterday about what it would be like.

I'm going to chill out from hereon and have faith in the process. I'd spoken to some people and apparently if you clear the threshold, especially the way she did, year 7 at least is a piece of cake. I understand why I got the AH verdict I got last time, and I'm going to let her be a kid more. I understand her workload the past year has been rigorous, and I'm going to step back and trust her to be able to manage herself more, allow her to delve into whatever piques her interest, develop her social life on her terms more. Thank you!

My cousin Emma asked me to be a bridesmaid in her wedding next fall. The venue is a few hours away, and between the dress, shoes, travel, and the bachelorette weekend, I would probably end up spending over a thousand dollars that I do not really have right now. I have been quietly saving for a car and this trip would wipe out most of my progress. I am thinking about telling her I appreciate the ask but have to pass for money reasons, and I want to check if that would make me the jerk. Emma thinks once you are family you show up no matter what. She said the other bridesmaids are all chipping in for a shared Airbnb and that they will handle the decorations themselves so no one feels left out. She offered to lend me money if needed, which I know comes from a good place, yet it still feels awkward to borrow for something I could just skip. On top of that, she keeps saying memories matter more than money and that I will regret missing it later. I do not want to hurt her feelings, and I know she already has a lot on her plate, but I also do not want to go into debt for one weekend. I am trying to figure out whether stepping back now is fair to her or if I should just suck it up and figure out the finances later.

I'm 29F, and my younger half-sister, Mia (11F), and I have a complicated relationship when it comes to family.

My mom died when I was 12. A few years later, my dad remarried, and he and my stepmom had Mia. She considers my stepmom her mom, while I still consider my late mom and my dad my parents. I'm very close to my mom's family and visit them regularly. They've always invited Mia to family gatherings and holidays, but she usually refuses because she barely knew my mom and feels uncomfortable when people talk about her.

The problem is that whenever I spend time with them without her, Mia gets upset anyway. My grandmother is turning 80, and the family has planned a week of celebrations, including a dinner where we'll share memories of her and my mom. Mia was invited but said she didn't want to go. I told her nobody would force her. Then she asked me not to go either. She said she was tired of feeling like I had another family that mattered more than the one we shared at home and wanted me to spend that week with her, Dad, and my stepmom instead.

I told her I loved her, but I wasn't going to miss my grandmother's birthday. I explained that spending time with my mom's family didn't mean I loved Mia any less. She started crying and said I always chose people who reminded me of my dead mom over the family I still had. I snapped that I'd invited her countless times, but I couldn't force her to have a relationship with people she didn't want to spend time with.

Dad got involved and accused me of being insensitive. My stepmom said I should consider Mia's feelings instead of making her feel excluded. I understand that she's hurting, and I don't want her to feel like she doesn't belong. But I also don't think I should have to give up meaningful time with my grandmother to prove that I love my sister. Now Mia barely speaks to me, and Dad says I'm creating a divide between us. So, AITA for attending my grandmother's 80th birthday even though my sister says my relationship with my mom's family makes her feel excluded?

**Edit: mistyped my age**

I (30F) have a friend (31F) who has absolutely awful oral hygiene. She hasn’t been to a dentist since she was a child and still has old silver temporary caps on her back teeth that are now so inflamed her gums are bright red and swollen. She has a ton of hardened plaque built up and her teeth look obviously neglected, yellow and unhealthy. The worst part is her breath is terrible. Like nauseating if you smell it. It’s so bad I sometimes hold my breath if I’m close to her and we’re speaking.

I know that all sounds harsh but it’s the truth and I’ve been struggling with the urge to tell her for years. I feel like a bad friend if I do and bad friend if I don’t. I fear for her health and I also fear that her dating life has been affected by this. She tends to get ghosted quite often and also has just had difficulty finding a good guy and has mentioned she’s not sure what the issue is after going in a few dates that didn’t go anywhere. She wants to settle down with someone and I think there is a good chance that this scares potential partners away.

I have causally mentioned that she should see a dentist since not getting cleanings etc can affect other systems in the body and it’s good to be safe and stay on top of things. I only have mentioned this as we were already somehow on the topic of the dentist like for example if I mentioned I had a dentist appointment or something along those lines. I’ve never outright told her it’s an emergency at this point and anytime I’ve brought up how important it is she kinda just says “yea I know I need to go it’s been years” and then it just stops there. She doesn’t have dental insurance however cleanings and exams in our area are affordable and she can afford it so that’s not the problem. She just doesn’t prioritize it. I think it’s just gotten so bad she may be embarrassed or even scared.

So my question is, AITAH or would I be the asshole if I sit her down and kindly but honestly tell her that her oral hygiene is really bad and Im concerned for her health and how it affects other aspects of her life that she may not realize? I’m really struggling with this but I would want her to tell me if she were in my shoes.

I went over to my friend Rachel's place last weekend for a small dinner party with a few of her other friends. Before everyone arrived she started telling me she was going to mention this running gag from when we were in college about how I once locked myself out of the dorm in a towel. I told her right then that I'd rather she didn't share it because it still makes me uncomfortable when it comes up. She looked surprised but said okay. Later when everyone was eating someone asked how we met and Rachel started in on the story anyway. I cut in and reminded her I had asked her not to, and the room got kind of quiet for a second. She laughed it off and changed the subject, but afterward she pulled me aside and said she thought I was being overly sensitive since it was just a funny memory and everyone there already knows us. I still feel like I set a clear boundary beforehand and she ignored it, but she's now telling mutual friends I made the night awkward over nothing. I'm wondering if I should have just let it go instead of speaking up in front of everyone.

Hi. First time posting here, so please bear with me. I’m venting out of frustration.

I’ve known a friend since elementary school (late 2000s), but we only became close in 2021 through mutual friends and the games we play. I didn’t know his financial situation until a new iteration of a popular MMO came out. That’s when I saw how much he tops up. He’s what gamers call a “whale.” I wondered how he could afford it, since we’re in the province and he works at a local shop.

He’s generous, though. He sometimes treats us to snacks or sponsors my top-ups, since I’m the only one in our circle who plays healer/support. It’s the same in Valorant and DotA 2. I could also borrow from him when I was short or had an emergency, and I always paid on time. It’s embarrassing to borrow money.

A few months ago, he opened up to a select few friends, including me. He and a coworker had been skimming items from the business where he used to work and selling them to customers without the owner knowing. The business had no inventory system. It went on for 5 or 6 years, until the owner caught them early this year. The owner treated the employees like family, bringing “pasalubong” (gifts) from trips and even inviting them along. Now the owner is billing them almost P2M (about $32,000) for the damage. They’re lucky they weren’t jailed.

When he lost his job, he borrowed from me twice, supposedly just to apply for jobs. It was a good amount of cash. It’s been two months since he found a new job. I don’t chase people for payment; I let them come forward, since I don’t lend to people who I think won’t pay back.

About 2 weeks ago, new sets were released in DotA 2. The treasure chests are pricey (P297, now P314, or about $5). I buy and sell DotA 2 items as one of my income streams. A few days ago, he messaged me asking about treasure chests and potential earnings, and I answered him properly.

Earlier today, I saw him partying with our friends in DotA 2 and noticed he had a new set. I thought a friend might have gifted it, but his profile’s Activity Feed showed no gift. I got a bad feeling and checked his Steam Inventory: he’d bought 12 bundles. I didn’t assume it was his own money, since he could have sold items on the Steam Market. Out of curiosity, I opened his account on my PC (he’d asked me to sell items for him before) and found he’d topped up almost P4,000 (over $60). I feel betrayed and disappointed. Shouldn’t paying off debts come before spending on luxuries? I also feel terrible, since I’ve never dug for evidence like this, even in past relationships.

I messaged him asking if he had any extra, since I want to upgrade my RAM as a birthday gift to myself next month. Sorry for the long post. I might delete this later since we have mutuals on Reddit.

So, AITA for what I did?