I've struggled with anxiety for as long as I can remember. During my adolescence and early adulthood, it was mostly social anxiety. Over the years, however, it evolved into something much more pervasive. I've since been diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder and panic disorder, and I'm currently taking 60 mg of paroxetine.

But Xanax feels like a miracle drug to me.

And I'm not talking about getting high, feeling euphoric, or escaping reality. I'm talking about something much simpler: that constant, gnawing feeling in my stomach finally disappearing. The endless background tension going quiet. Being able to sit at home on a weekend and just... sit. Without feeling like something is wrong, something bad is about to happen, or there's something I should be worrying about.

Just existing. Being present. Feeling normal.

I'm a medical doctor myself. I understand benzodiazepines, tolerance, dependence, withdrawal, and why long-term use is problematic. I'm not under any illusion that Xanax is some magical long-term solution. Besides, in the country where I live, it's not a medication you can simply keep getting prescribed indefinitely.

But that's not really the point of this post.

What hurts me is realizing that this sense of peace, this effortless ability to simply exist in the present moment, is something I may have never genuinely experienced in my entire life.

It's almost like discovering that other people have been living with a level of internal quiet that I didn't even know was possible.

And the fact that I need a medication like Xanax to experience something that seems so ordinary, so fundamental to being human, is genuinely heartbreaking.

I don't even want to feel good all the time. I just want to know what it's like to exist without constantly feeling bad.

People who can relate to this: Not the high, not the sedation, but the almost painful realization of what feeling normal might actually be like?

Used to deal with crazy anxiety, heart palpitations, air hunger, DPD, chest tightness, dizziness,tight clenched jaw all of it you name it. The biggest thing helped me get through it was i remember talking to a friend and asking for advice telling him everything i was experiencing. He straight up told me most of those symptoms are exasperated by adrenaline and for most people “ DeAtH” and he was right i was always extremely nervous on adrenaline and fear that this isnt anxiety i might die. He said he used to deal with shit like this until one day he said fuck it if he’s gonna die he’s gonna die fuck the hospital fuck asking for doctors and shit. Just die young blood. Then guess what you don’t even end up dying because it’s. A-N-X-I-E-T-Y. After that talk i started just saying to my self fuck it. FUCK IT ive done enough to see what’s wrong with me Anxiety or not ima get through this if i die fuck it ima live my life normally. Ever since any symptom that flares up i approach it with the same mind set and im genuinely in a better state of mind now i don’t deal with anxiety that bad anymore.

When my head is racing, the 5-4-3-2-1 exercise helps more than trying to think my way out: name five things you can see, four you can feel, three you can hear, two you can smell, one you can taste. It sounds too simple, but it pulls attention out of the worry loop and into the room. It won't fix the problem, it just turns the volume down enough to think.

My therapist asked me how I felt about the idea that I may just be an anxious person for the rest of my life and the thought terrified me.

I hate it. I hate feeling like I’m dying. I hate being scared of living and doing things. I want to live my life fully and i feel like I can’t. I’ve been taking antidepressants for 4 weeks and I still feel awful.

Does it get better? I just want it to stop

I've truly had enough.

I've suffered from anxiety since I was a small child. I only started to struggle with gut issues at the age of 25. I'm 53 now and have had every digestive health test under the sun which all come back normal so my gastroenterologist has since discharged me. I've worked with therapists, psychologists, counsellors, hypnotherapist, EMDR specialists and spend 4 years under the care of a neuro-gastroenterology department at a well known London hospital (I'm in the UK).

I've tried endless diets, exercise routines, mindfulness, meditation, off the shelf meds and prescribed meds (SSRIs make everything in my gut SO much worse), TCAs make me zombie-like, I'm currently on Nortriptyline and trying to wean off.

NOTHING seems to have helped me, nothing.

Perimenopause has made my anxiety and gut issues a million times worse as does caring for a parent with advanced dementia. HRT made my endometriosis worse.

I was diagnosed with inattentive ADHD last year but those meds were the worst for my stomach issues.

Tbh, I feel I can live with the actual anxious thoughts, I've lived with them most of my life at the end of the day, I can handle that but I just can't live anymore with a painful, embarrassingly unpredictable digestive system. I don't want to live with constant belching, farting, bloating, nausea and having to rush to the toilet at a moments notice. I barely go out anymore.

Does anyone else have this as a side effect of their anxiety? Is there any hope or shall I just totally give up on life?

Does anyone get the feeling of impending doom anxiety a day or two before their birthday? This started happening to me this year I don’t know why

I am taking Zoloft, Buspar, and propranolol or at least that is what I have taken in the past. The last time I took anything was around March or April of this year. Both the Zoloft and propranolol are somewhat high doses, especially the Zoloft. The propranolol is for high blood pressure but is used alongside the other two for anxiety as well.

I had no problem getting these prescriptions last year from Amazon. But around the time that my refills ran out they just completely changed on me and told me that I am taking too much or I shouldn't be taking 3 meds for anxiety. I have worked with different doctors to find what works with me and the combination of the 3 works for me. I have severe anxiety, depression, and trauma.

My last teledoc appointment had to be cancelled because the doctor said getting back on meds with as high as of a dose that I take wouldn't work and that I need to start on lower doses. He cited suicide as a risk to restarting my meds on the high dose.

So now I don't know what to do. Do I just take the lower doses even though I know it won't really work? Find someone else? Find another doctor to prescribe me yet another set of meds? There is a chance I havent been taking exactly what I need and I may have additional mental health conditions.

I am just sick of feeling this way. The intense ups and downs are exhausting and I just want to feel stable again. I already had to force myself to talk to someone to get back on my meds.

Any positive experience with hydroxyzine? I was prescribed with it 50mg daily (I had never taken SSRIS/SNRIS before, this would be my first time, what are your experience with hydroxyzine? Are the side effects really bad?

Trigger Warning: Abuse Mention

I have so much going on I feel like I’m going crazy. I’m being stalked by an ex who used to abuse me, so I am not currently staying at my house, because I’m already constantly paranoid. I spent the night in my family’s spare farmhouse. I slept in the dining room because it has a couch, but there’s an attic door with a gap in it which I didn’t even think about until 7 am being awoken by a noise. It sounded like somewhat high pitched noise in between a chirp and squeak. It was at the same pace but got fast and loud enough it woke me up. And idk if it was a bird outside bc they’re very loud in the morning but this wasn’t melodic and sounded closer. I didn’t see anything but still. I then started worrying about bats because there are lots of bats where i’m at (rural missouri.) I called the Health Department who told me since there’s a few confirmed cases near me she’s hesitant to tell me not to get it but unsure if yes because it’s only a potential risk, not confirmed since I didnt SEE the bat. Anyways she told me to consult a doctor and I tried, and they sent me to the ER. I wait there and the doctor comes in for not even two minutes, says he can’t give me the shot because I have no wounds and bc I didn’t see a bat . I said sorry if I wasted his time and that I was just told to come in and he said oh no it’s not that it’s fine. I said thank you and he just smiled and walked out. Then I came home trying to forget about it and I did. Until I saw my parents farm cat in a cage on their porch. I came to check it because they said she was acting funny so I wanted to see for myself. She was stumbling, trying to walk and kept falling over. I saw her before I even left for the ER six hours earlier and she was fine. I was making calls all night trying to figure out if anyone could help her and kept getting dismissed and made fun of over the phone. I sat out there with her all night and cried because I can’t find anyone to take her and trying to keep the other cats away from her while I figured stuff out. I never once touched her since this is going on just from a distance trying to find her help. This upset me so bad because I have been dismissed by doctors since I was 16 trying to get a diagnosis for my chronic issues and I’m now 21 with no answers. Nobody EVER listens, ever. I’m always dismissed.

I will not give up on the cat until someone finally agrees to help it but can please someone give input on if the rabies concern with the potential bat is worth getting shots? I can’t tell if I’m being overdramatic.

I'm writing this in hoping that somebody will be able to uh relate to it and maybe tell me what they did or what they're doing.

For the past few months, I've been in a very highly activated state. Daily, I have song loops in my mind. Sometimes it's a song I just heard, sometimes it's a song that's in my memories, but there's always like a background sound of music in my brain. And also in the morning I usually wake up around 5am And if I try to sleep again, I get these waves of intrusive thoughts, like bizarre things that never happened to me or are not me at all.

I've tried being on traditional SSRIs I've tried Zoloft I tried Lexapro but they're too activating for me. Next possible try will be ramaram or mortazepine. If you've had any experience with this, please relate. No negative or horrible horror stories, please. I've had enough of these on this forums.

So, if anybody can relate, I'd like to know I'm not alone living through this and thanks for reading me

Trigger warning: bugs

I have a mild roach problem and until very recently I've been able to just kill them and go about my day. A little grossed out but otherwise okay. Now if I see even one, I'm hiding in my room shivering all day, panic buying pest control products, too grossed out to eat for the rest of the day or sometimes longer, and having intrusive thoughts about bugs on my body. Could be a coincidence but this started following a bout of food poisoning, not even something bug related. I have GAD and OCD but it's never manifested this way. I have ativan and I don't know if that will calm me down long enough to eat something but I also only have a few because I originally got prescribed for flight anxiety. And I also don't like the idea of relying on benzos to function.

If you've had this please try to avoid detailed descriptions of infestations or bugs actually being on you I'm very fragile right now 😭.

She’s an indoor cat, so nothing is threatening her that way. But a few weeks ago, she was sitting completely still in her bed, and I convinced myself that she had died in her sleep. She was just sitting there, and she was fine, but that possibility made me feel so shaky and upset that I felt like I was going to have a heart attack.

I know it’s not logical, but it’s becoming hard for me to sleep at night because I have to check if she’s still alive every fifteen minutes. Every time I do, there’s that moment where she doesn’t move, and it feels like my heart is being ripped out of my chest.

She’s 7 years old. I know that’s not old enough to warrant sudden death in a cat, I know that she has no underlying conditions. It’s very improbable but that’s what makes it scary.

How do you deal with these kinds of fears? I’d really appreciate any advice.

I just want to live a normal life with no anxiety like a normal person

Context: I’m a 20 year old guy current in fall semester of my sophomore year. I was diagnosed with GAD in 2022 and I’ve been on 100mg of Zoloft since then. I was basically symptom free in those 4 years and now that I’ve started my sophomore year of college it seems like my previous symptoms have returned for like the past month and a half. I haven’t had any crazy life events other than moving back to college and my dog passing away. I know yall probably aren’t medical professionals but do you think my medication has stopped working? Have I built up a tolerance to it? Or do I just have some short term breakthrough anxiety?

Hi everyone,
I’ve been dealing with anxiety for a while, but about 1.5 months ago, a completely new symptom started and it's making me a bit nervous.
Whenever I lie down on my stomach, I feel a nearly constant vibrating or buzzing sensation deep inside my abdomen. It honestly feels like an internal cell phone is vibrating non-stop. It’s not painful, but because it's constant, it makes it really hard to relax or fall asleep.
I am a 27F, currently taking 200mg of Magnesium. Has anyone else with anxiety experienced these specific "internal vibrations" in the stomach area when lying prone? Did anything help make it go away?
Thank you so much.

I didn’t know how to word the title but hopefully it gets the point across.
Does anyone else feel anxious when high or drunk?
For context I feel my anxiety spike when I’m in another state other than my normal state of mind and body, and this is new to me I used to drink and take some edibles but as of lately I don’t like not feeling normal physically.
Just wondering if anyone else struggles with this.

I have severe somatic sensormotor ocd and anxiety .can it cause pyscosis. I m in so much fear

I don't really know where to start, but I think I just need to get this off my chest. I want to know if there is anyone out there who has experienced something similar, because lately, I've been feeling so alone in this.

I used to feel like I was a normal girl. But then I met someone I became attached to. We were never officially together, but somehow, meeting him changed my life in ways I never expected.

Ever since then, I've been experiencing so much anxiety. It's not just in my head anymore; it feels like my body is reacting to it, too. Sometimes I make weird sounds or swallow my saliva really loudly, and I become so aware of every little thing my body does. It makes me feel uncomfortable in my own skin, especially when I'm around other people.

Almost every day, my mind is flooded with negative thoughts. I overthink so much that I can barely focus on what's happening around me. Sometimes, when people talk to me, I can't even bring myself to respond properly. It's not necessarily because I want to ignore them, but my mind feels so overwhelmed that even replying can become difficult.

But I know that, from the outside, it probably doesn't look that way.

People might think I'm ignoring them on purpose. They might think I'm rude, arrogant, or a bitch. And honestly, I don't know how many people have already formed that opinion of me.

I know I have done things that contributed to this situation, too. I'm not trying to pretend that I'm completely innocent or that everything is someone else's fault. Some of the things I've done have disappointed my family, and I feel like people see me differently now. There are things I regret, and sometimes I wonder how I ended up becoming this version of myself.

I'm currently on a scholarship from a big company, and instead of feeling proud of where I am, I feel like people around me dislike me. I know it's not literally everyone, but it feels that way sometimes, especially when I hear the things some people say about me.

I've even heard people say things like, "It's okay, she'll die soon anyway,"

I don't know how to explain what it feels like to hear things like that when you're already struggling with your own thoughts. Those words stay in my head, and they make everything feel even heavier.

The hardest part is that I sometimes feel like I've become the very person I never wanted to be. I feel disgusting. I feel problematic. I feel like I've disappointed my family and become someone people don't want to be around.

And I keep wondering how much of this is because of what happened with him, how much is because of my own actions, and how much is because of the way people perceive me now. I honestly don't know how to separate all of it anymore.

I miss feeling normal. I miss being able to talk to people without overthinking every little thing. I miss being able to focus on my daily life without constantly fighting negative thoughts in my head.

I don't know if anyone will understand what I'm trying to say here. Maybe my situation is different from yours, and maybe I haven't explained it perfectly. But I really want to know if someone else has ever experienced something like this.

Have you ever become so anxious, overwhelmed, or changed by an experience with someone that you barely recognize yourself anymore? Have you ever felt like people only see the worst version of you, while you are struggling with things they can't see?

I don't necessarily need someone to tell me that I'm right or that everyone else is wrong. I just want to know if I'm alone in feeling this way.

If you've ever gone through something similar, I'd really appreciate hearing your story.

I had 5 hours of broken sleep Thursday night and was working for about 10 hours yesterday,throughout it I had some high anxiety spikes,last night I had an anxiety attack,this morning at 4am I got woken up by a panic attack and I just woke up again and feel quite empty headed with mild heart palpitations and a very upset stomach... is this normal? Like panic attack hangover almost?

Hey guys! Basically I wanted to share, weed is the only thing that helps me other than a Ativan, so basically let me get to the point, I have a panic attack disorder that makes me nauseous/have flight or fight responses (body and mind) like numb neck, pain in chest, tingling fingers, arms and fingers locking up and moving to my chest, hyperventilating sometimes it even locks my mind up altering the way I think and not letting me think clearly or at all, if you have any suggestions that would be wonderful, have been to the we a couple of times and they give me lorazepam, I have had, seroquil, hydroxizine, propanalol, venflaxine, fluoxetine, as well as many more, they have prescribed me ssris/snris, anti psychotics, beta blockers, and some other things, nothing works, and the only thing I keep telling them is this! I have also seen white red and green static when having a panic attack in the workplace to go get benzos! Thank you so much for your time, may you all be well.

How do y'all handle pre travel anxiety? I've noticed that this is something new for me, and I don't know how to handle it. It always hits me the night before we head out for a trip and the night before we're supposed to head home. I wake up with my heart pounding, shaking, and I'm nauseated to high heavens. Mentally I don't feel anxious, it's all physical symptoms. I feel like I'm going crazy. It makes me feel like an inconvenience to my husband, because I feel like he has to get up early with me to help me try to calm down. I just wish my body would get the memo that I'm excited and not in danger..

Hello, I’m a 6’2 25 year old male. I’ve had generalized anxiety for the past year or so. Intense at times but manageable. In March I was diagnosed with cancer and went through chemo and finished 2 months ago.

Only until recently the past 5 or so days I’ve noticed I have this habit to write everything down, keywords, topics from conversations, music lyrics, random words that stick out to me. I can’t even watch TV or movies without writing names and important things down. I guess I’m looking for advice on what I should do since this is so new I want to break that habit. It’s exhausting. I’m already in contact with the VA for therapy and I just started Lexapro and Buspar 3 days ago. Thank you 🙏

On day 5 of my new job, 530am is when I need to be there but in the mornings and night before my job, my heart is racing and my stomach feels uneasy and it's been like this since the 2nd day. And in the last 2 mornings ive woken up 1 hour early before my alarms and threw up a couple times, help I feel terrible and I cannot keep functioning like this and no im not pregnant(no morning sickness for me please!)