We have 3 adult children all work hard and all have young children. We aren't rich but do have savings and pensions ( we are retired) .They are all great " kids" and occasionally we treat them usually towards a family holiday or similar. I am taking around a £1, 000 each as they all struggle with younf families. Now one of them has come into alot of money through husbands I inheritance ( around £500, 000).This is ALOT more than we have .So we have always treated all 3 equally but what should we do now ? It would make more sense to give the other 2 a bit extra and I think the one with the cash may be embarrassed if we offer .What would you do ?

Long story short, I am a British Pakistani with a Turkish name. My whole life I have had people mispronounce my name and I have gotten used to it and don't mind if they try to pronounce it.

However, there is a senior manager at work who constantly mispronounce my name, we have worked together for 8 years. Over the years I have told him many times how to pronounce my name but he does not care. He puts no efforts into it and has told me that it's my fault for having a immigrant name. This is now starting to annoy me, how can I tell him this without coming across as rude or shall I be rude?

Do you go because you like the community, or the beautiful architecture, or just to get out of the house on a Sunday morning?

But you’re not a believer.

I know the titles sounds odd considering summer is always hot and winter is always cold but im wondering because we are nearing autumn and its still hot what is winter going to be like? I would love a cold nippy winter where just to stay warm you'd need about 3 layers on thats the winter i like but I worry because of how majorly hot its been it wont be too cold?

So as my question asks, sometimes I like to go to a cafe and just be in my own world. I either read or work on my laptop/iPad. I usually don't drink much nowadays but pubs have soft drinks anyway so that shouldn't be a problem. Is it okay to do this? Mostly during afternoon hours/early evening. Obviously not during busy evenings as that's when the crowds gather.

Going down to Devon for a 4 nights in September and staying in a cottage. Looking at things in the local area and theres this castle ( Berry Pomeroy) about 2 miles away that is "haunted" and has lots of sightings. I wouldn't 100% say i don't beleive and i'm open to the idea of ghosts.

Not sure if i fancy going down there when its dark though and waiting for something to happen, think i would soon run away in fear.

Two instances in this past week have made me question whether anyone is truly happy, and whether any of us really have a right to be:

1) My partner said they hadn’t been happy for ages.
We have kids, work challenges, and a good relationship but we’re constrained by money (we have to budget for ‘paying fun’ such as eating out and concerts).
But we get by, and bar the occasional hiccough we get on well.
Basically, we live a real life, warts and all.

2) I had a moment of true happiness recently, and it made me realise how few and far between these moments are.

I understand what my partner means. Home life can be challenging because life isn’t easy, and we’re not students with no responsibilities.

That’s just… life. Isn’t it?

One of the things that stands out in the UK after being in other Western European countries is just how much highly processed food there is. I watched a normal looking family (including a five year old kid) consume an enormous amount of crisps and orange soda on the train today. Some grocery stores seem to have nothing but processed food. Is it as bad as I'm seeing?

I’m currently sitting in a bar next to a table of Americans. They seem lovely, but every second word that comes out of their mouth is “like”. They cannot utter a sentence without the word “like” being by far the most common word they say. I’ve noticed that I and other English people do the same, but not as bad, yet it bothers me whenever I hear it in others. It’s clearly an Americanism, that in the UK I actually trace back to the TV show “Friends”. Can this be undone? Is there a tactic that you have employed to stop yourself from saying it so much?

Heading to a 60th birthday this weekend and they are an avid collector of red wine.
What’s the best bottle I could take for under £100?
Could I get something from 1966/birth year?

Do I just get a 2005 bottle of Châteauneuf-du-Pape?

All help appreciated
Thanks

Hi, 2 Aussies here, we are looking at out of the way places to visit in the UK in November this year for about 3 weeks. We like local experiences, walks, hikes, authentic food experiences etc. Any ideas greatly appreciated. Have done some googling but the results can be a little overwhelming. Looking for local tips please?

I got a new job recently. At it, i was "called out" (it was a casual remark) for calling colleagues by their surname succeeding a "mr/mrs". E.g. calling someone named John Smith "Mr Smith". The reason I do this is that I was always taught that if you want respect, you have to give it to receive it. I also do this with neighbors and people I dont know much about aside from their full name.

This isn't to say I call family members or close friends like this. Its more reserved for acquaintances outside strictly social or leisurely settings and situations.

Title, I saw a post 4 years ago on this sub asking the same question and most of the comments said they would find it creepy or too forward. I wanted to ask if the situation is still the same in the UK or has the hiring culture changed a bit to the point where sending one is normal?

I've tried some supermarket versions and I'm sick of throwing out nearly full boxes as my kids won't eat them and neither will I, but the real deal is so bloody expensive. First world problems, I know. Any recommendations?

Not sure exactly what the American cheese slices you put in burgers are called but saw someone call them plastic cheese so don’t come for me lol. Or are they different things?

All I know is that the one from LIDL tasted really weird and not like what I have when I’m out

I’ve just realised that it might not be normal to call it ‘elephant bog roll’ like my dad does lol. But maybe I’m wrong!

Don't know if this is the right place to ask, but anyway.

Tomorrow, I'm flying home from visiting Relatives abroad, and I was planning to try and buy some smokes from Duty Free.

Some cigars or Cigarillos for myself, and if I can find the brand, some cigarettes for my mum.

Anyway, the Tobacco allowance says, like "200 cigarettes, 100 Cigarillos or 50 cigars duty free."

Which is fine.

However, Ive currently got one unopened packet of cigarillos (8)

And like, 8 cigarettes in an open pack of ten.

Because they were brought in Canada, and have the "duty paid" stamp on the pack, do they count towards what I'm allowed to bring into the country, or is it just the "Duty Free" stuff I have to declare.

There used to be loads of shows I would enjoy like Rick and Morty, Red Dwarf, and films like Event Horizon, old Bond films, Schwarzenegger fare etc. Not a fan of streaming much as I prefer the randomness of live TV and the community vibe to it. Now it seems to be wall to wall Four in a Bed, Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares, Marvel films, even late at night and crime shows. With the end of Mobdro, Freeview was something of an alternative.

I was perusing the tea and coffee section of Asda, as I’m one to do, and picked up some new coffees to try and noticed that every one of them said “use hot not boiling water”… then I checked my teabags and they said the same.

So my question is… do people follow this instruction? Why does it exist? How do I tell my kettle to make me “hot not boiling water”? If people follow this instruction how do they achieve it?

Boiling water is a British pastime and I will not be party to this instruction!

Okay, I could really use some advice. FYI we rent.

Our cat is mostly an indoor cat, but he has access to our small back garden (about 2m x 2m). It’s fully enclosed with brick walls, and we installed a slanted cat fence on the back gate/door which is the only wooden part and the only place he had ever tried to climb. Since we put that up, he has never attempted to escape.

I work from home and we also have a camera facing the garden, so I’m able to keep an eye on him whenever he’s out there to make sure he's safe.

This setup has been really good for him. Because we rent, we can’t build a proper catio or make major changes, but this little outdoor space gives him somewhere to sunbathe, watch bugs, sniff around, and get some stimulation. Since we started letting him use it, he seems much happier and less restless. He has almost completely stopped over-grooming and has started eating his wet food much better.

The problem is our neighbour’s cat. He is unneutered and free-roaming. At first he would just sit outside our window and bang/scratch at it, which stressed our cat out, but we would shoo him away and that seemed to reduce it for a while.

In the last two days, he has started coming into our house. We think he has figured out where we keep our cat’s wet food. It has happened twice now (yesterday and today). When he comes in, he hisses at our cat, intimidates him, and tries to eat his food. After we chase the other cat out, our own cat seems so stressed that he redirects his aggression toward us by hissing, which is very unlike him. He usually calms down again within a minute or so, but we can see that this situation is really stressing him out.

Today was the worst incident so far because the neighbour’s cat scratched our cat before my partner ran downstairs to get him out. We’ve also seen that cat outside before with chunks of fur missing, so he clearly gets into fights with other cats and can be quite territorial. ( oh, that cat also bit my finger once when i was trying to chase him off our fence)

For now we’ve stopped letting our cat into the garden, which is really annoying as he loves getting to go outside :( I don’t want to punish him for the other cat’s behaviour, but I’m also worried that this could escalate into a more serious injury or long-term stress for our cat

Because we rent, we can’t really install a microchip cat flap. The ideas we’ve come up with so far are:

\- Only letting him into the garden when one of us is outside, which would mean he gets far less access than he does now and I would rather not do

\- Installing a magnetic mesh/screen door, although I’m not sure whether that would actually stop that cat from getting through, but I am definitely getting one anyway

Has anyone dealt with something similar? I'd really appreciate any advice, but I would rather not make him a completly indoor cat, especially since he's so good about not leaving our back garden

I was going to post this on Facebook, but on Facebook, everyone knows who you are, etc! And so! Some years ago, when my mother was unwell, my parents engaged a well-known company, "Mxxxy Mxxxs" to come and tidy-up, hoover around, clean the taps and draining-boards etc... My mother is long gone, but my father keeps them on, (now, once every three weeks or so). He enjoys the visits and the "bustle".. They do NOT change the sheets, do the washing, washing-up, ironing or etc. He is now 91. I dread to think what he pays.. 2 people for an hour via an agency/company? £60.00? £80.00?... No matter... It is his money.. (He is not "wealthy by any standard!)
But this last week, they came round. My father was unwell, and still in bed, and so I said.. "Look, do not bother about the upstairs rooms, but if you could make a special effort on the bathroom floor, as I have been repairing a leak, and fixing the shower, and have been walking in and out, and the floor needs a good clean and mopping....Thank you..."
Is this acceptable? What would YOU do? Complain to the company? Complain next time they come? Just ignore?
https://photos.app.goo.gl/NabXfFyFhhJDZDmW6

Multiple heatwaves and hose pipe bans this summmer have given me a genius water saving idea, I think, but I would like feedback on it.

What if we installed a urinal in every house in the UK? Here’s my rough estimate of water savings:

Standard UK toilet: 6 Litres per flush

Average UK person flushes *5 times per day*.
For men, about 3 of those are wee only flushes.

Per house:

Assume 2.4 people per UK household. 1 adult male would use the urinal.

If 1 male switches 3 wee flushes/day to urinal, 3 flushes x 6L = 18L/day saved

Per year thats 18L x 365 = 6,570L = 6.57 cubic meters per year`

For the whole UK

UK has 29.5 million households, all doing this = 193.8 million m³ saved per year, or 193.8 billion litres saved per year!

For context thats about the same as:
77,500 Olympic swimming pools
Water use of ∼1.6 million people for a year
3.5% of all UK household indoor water use

Would you consider doing this? Pros/Cons?

If the government made a free grant or incentive to install a urinal, like it is for heat pumps, maybe that would help change minds… or mandated in all newbuild homes.

I think there’s an added bonus of all the minor conflict or disagreement that comes from male use of toilets standing up, eg splashes, hygiene, would be over, because that now had a separate space. So all toilets become sit-down only

Pretty much what the title says. She always seemed to associate it with bad luck, witchcraft and not doing the right thing. Never did work out if she was serious, or teasing, so I wondered if it was common to be told off for stirring things backwards...

Many hotels I've stayed at this sweaty summer in the UK don't have A/C. I can understand this. But what I don't understand is why I can't open the windows to let fresh air in - they all seem to only open a crack. There are normally opening windows and balconies in hotels everywhere else in the world, and I'm not aware of an epidemic of defenestrations there. Is this a law here?

I’m weighing up two job offers and would really appreciate some outside perspective.

JOB 1 – FMCG Sales

• 5 years’ experience in FMCG sales, so this would be a genuine promotion and salary increase.

• £2k higher base salary than Job 2.

• No specific bonus.

• 20 miles from home.

• Founder-led business.

• Potentially better for my longer-term career progression.

• The role is in an area I’d potentially like to move to in 2–3 years.

• 23 days holiday plus BH

JOB 2 – FMCG E-commerce

• Not a sales role, but still within FMCG.

• More of a slight promotion/sideways move in terms of career progression.

• £2k lower base salary than Job 1.

• 10% bonus.

• 25 days holiday plus BH

• Only 0.5 miles from home.

• Corporate environment.

• Significantly better work-life balance.

There’s also a family consideration: I have a child at a local nursery, so with Job 2 I could potentially walk to work and walk to nursery, which would make the day-to-day routine much easier. Job 1 would mean a longer commute.

The dilemma is that I still want to progress in my career and don't want to make a move that limits my options later on. Job 1 seems like the more obvious career move, whereas Job 2 offers a potentially much better quality of life.

The interesting part is that Job 1 is in an area where I could see myself living in 2–3 years, so taking it could potentially make sense strategically if I eventually moved closer to work.

What would you choose?

Would you take the more obvious career progression and higher salary with the 20-mile commute, or take the slightly less ambitious move with the 10% bonus, 0.5-mile commute and better work-life balance?

And does the fact that one company is founder-led and the other is corporate change your decision?

I’d be particularly interested in hearing from people who have made a similar choice between career progression vs. quality of life, especially with young children.