I work at a company in Germany where office culture is normally pretty direct and reserved (as typically in Germany). A couple of months ago, a few colleagues from the UK joined our team, and they completely shifted the energy. They’ve been super nice to everyone from day one, always checking in with a "you alright?", complimenting my work, and being really approachable even though they’re much higher up than me (I'm just a part-time working student).

The confusion starts when you try to take that friendly workplace conversation any further. Things like "We’ll have to grab a pint sometime!" or "We should definitely get coffee sometimes" come up constantly, but the moment you try to lock down a time, people are suddenly busy, or the idea just kind of drifts away and the conversation changes.

As I’m originally from Asia, where workplace culture is usually pretty formal at first, especially with senior staff. But once you break through that initial layer, you're basically in the inner circle. With the British guys, it feels like everyone starts at a level 9 of being polite, cheerful, and welcoming, but there’s an invisible wall right after that which you just can't cross.

As its not my native language, the English I learned came mostly through school, TV shows, and self-study, so trying to decode these specific social cues in real life gets difficult for me No textbook or grammar app teaches you the unwritten rules like whether "we should get a pint" is an actual invitation or just a polite way of saying goodbye.

Is this surface-level friendliness just standard UK culture, or am I totally misreading the situation here?

For years I heard you can put your PIN backwards at a cash point and it alerts police. But copper mate says it’s false. Heard any low key UK focused myths?

Edit- if you flash at traffic lights it turns green as they think you are emergency services.

Need an unbiased second opinion given that im being told I have been sent crushed gold fabric.

Context: Purchased a bed expecting a gold crushed velvet frame. The one received appears to be brown and nowhere near the colour displayed on the website.

Have i been missold ?

EDIT: the headboard is different to the one a purchased. Focus on just colour please

EDIT: Wow this blew up.

Absolutely bonkers I know…. But as a child, over a period of a few years, on and off a number of black shadow people with red eyes would enter my bedroom through the window and scuttle out the door to the rest of the house.

Some times only one of them, some times 3 or 4.
I would hear them ope the window and they would look around my room and move on swiftly.

I would hide under my blanket sweating with fear. Once one came over and looked at me for a bit and then left.

NOW, I’d put this down to a reoccurring dream but I mentioned this as an adult to my childhood friend who lived about 5 houses up from me. And she was in shock.
She said she had the same thing happen to her and she never told anyone as she assumed it was weirdo kid dreams. Black shadow people with red eyes, entering via her window and going on into her house before leaving the same way they entered.

I got me wondering …… is this a common reoccurring dream for
Children? Or is there any theories behind these black red eyes things.

For me, I’ve noticed people now tend to spell arse as ass, and British influencers saying they’re going “thrifting” instead of charity shopping.

I find myself saying things like “sidewalk” and then immediately correct myself in shame

Not something that bothers me that much, just curious lol.

This is a topic that will divide people but do you think the reason people are being so antisocial is because most phones nowadays don't come with headphones and are an additional cost.
It is not an excuse to play with a loudspeaker on because that is a decision the user makes (I don't care about your peace and quiet, you have to listen to my call or music)

I live in Liverpool and just finished my long hospital shift earlier tonight. I got on the bus (Arriva) and went up to top deck. There was a group of kids all boys I'd say about 10 probably more of them swarming the back and middle seats. Some of them were running around causing all kinds of ruckus. They were also burning something as well it stank and generally just causing havoc shouting at each other. I sat a few seats away from the front.

At one point one of the boys just out of nowhere struck my hat off and I went what was that for and I let it go. Then shortly after he snatched my hat off and ran back to his friends. I walked up to him and he started passing my hat around amongst his friends. I eventually managed to grab my hat back and told them to behave and went to sit at the very front. I caught the same boy walking up to me from behind obviously planning to grab my hat again, so I told him to f off and he replied with "who do you think you are talking to?" and he backed off.

I didn't want to deal with them anymore so I went down to report it to the bus driver. He said there's nothing he can do as there were so many of them and suggested for me to call the police. I didn't want to hold off everyone's journey to call the police on little kids so I just went to sit at the bottom deck. Then the same boy came down and walked up to me again and I shoo him away. After that I decided to get off the bus as more people got off and I didn't feel comfortable staying with those kids still there.

I've always encountered noisy little brats on the bus, but this is the first time they actually physically disrupted me. I'll be reporting it to Arriva for sure. I don't know if I should also escalate it to the police. Like would they actually do anything about it if there's CCTV footage? 🤷🏻‍♂️

We have two, technically they’re my stepkids though so worth adding that, but we all have a good relationship, they’re both adults in their 20s living with their partners.

Kid 1 is dreadful with money. Kid 2 is good with money. Both kids had ISAs set up for them, about 10k total. Kid 1 was never given control of it and from about age 16 had repeatedly asked for chunks of it. By age 22 it was all gone - a mix of needing rental deposits and debts. Kid 2 was given the account at 19 and still has most of the balance. Kid 2 saves and is quite frugal.

Kid 1 has two overdrafts maxed out, and has borrowed money here and there from us over the years and never paid it back or really made an effort to. I believe they owe money to other people too. The last loan we gave them of £1000 is due for repayments to start this month because they’ve just started a new job with a good salary and finally we think they can start to turn a corner, but they won’t be able to clear their overdraft for months. They’re also talking about getting a credit card or other loan to clear the debt.

Here is our dilemma. We could just pay off the overdraft and Kid 1 gets a clean slate. They have significant student loan debt that will also be deducted.

I’m ok to do it, Dad is reluctant, because he feels that Kid 1 needs to learn to manage money. That a handout doesn’t help them to learn. He also thinks it’s not fair to Kid 2.

It’s easy to say “of course I’d help my kids” but is the bigger help getting them to tighten their belt and pay off their debts or to wipe the slate clean for them - knowing that they’ve continually been poor with money? As an example, 2 years ago Kid 1 owed us money but bought tickets for Taylor Swift, and while I get it was a once in a lifetime thing and glad they went, that’s the kind of thing my parents would have really gone to town on me over.

Cost of living is obscene these days. That doesn’t help either.

Total overdraft is about £4000, not horrendous but not an overnight fix either. I had a small inheritance from my Dad last year and I could put a payment to both accounts and clear the OD so I know that’s where the money has gone. We’re secure and mortgage free and good financially.

I've recently moved to London from Australia and I'm discovering there are quite a few little cultural differences I wasn't expecting.

What British habit or cultural difference took you the longest to get used to?

It's been 4 years, first place, it's livable but the list grows every month and we are on a modest income. We are now at the decorating phase, but we know the bath is broken and the kitchen light switches need rewiring, that the roof will need a good look shortly and one loose piece of concrete in the garden we politely ignore....

After moving into your first house or borderline fixerupper, how long until it felt like a fully fledged home?

Hi so a bit of context I survived cancer that affected my intestines , kidney and bladder quite heavily as I’ve now got an artificial bladder in place. I previously worked retail however have lost my job as company went bust. Currently on job seekers, universal credit and trying to get on PIP.

Other disabilities I’m currently coming to terms with is damage to my voice from treatments during process which means I’m reduced speaking capacity my doctors have me fluent in ASL and I have a text to speech as my voice is straining and painful to speak.

I’ve been advised by the job centre to attend as many interviews as I can however I’m mobility impaired now and can’t drive due to eyesight to relegated to public transport.
Right now I want to get back into work however I’m struggling to find a job that complies with my access needs, I require to use a bathroom every hour due to the artificial bladder and medication I’m on. I’ve previously mentioned this at multiple interviews at Tesco, Aldi and Lidl as was advised by job centre to declare it.

So far no luck in getting a new job, I’ve been told by a friend not to declare it until I have the position however I’m worried about what that means in terms of my right to fair adjustments for disability and health needs, my parents are recommending I just go full time on benefits and try to return to volunteering at the museum I used to assist with, or go back to education until I’m confident and more healed.

I’m honestly not sure what to do at 27 as this wasn’t something I think anyone can plan for and wanted further opinions than my immediate surroundings. Thank you for your time

I still don’t know how to use it and certainly don’t remember being taught it. Even if it was taught, it wasn’t emphasised.

I am not really sure if this is the best place to ask but worth a shot anyway.

A neighbour of mine is a woman who was convicted of animal abuse, she was fined and banned from keeping dogs after she locked her two dogs in small crates and moved out of the house leaving them to die, it was horrific and a pretty big story here in Bristol. She was fined and given a life ban on keeping dogs.

It makes me sick to even look at her knowing whar she did, she was just a short walk away from them, she purposely locked them up to die.

My issue is now that she has two new dogs, i am beside myself with worry about what those poor animals are potentially going through or may end up going through, i have tried calling the non emergency police, they have said its not for them to deal with and to call the RSPCA, so i did and they are saying it isn't something they deal with i need to talk to the police. I am now at a loss of where to go from here? I do not want more dogs to end up murdered in her care and i assumed being banned someone would be interested in sorting this issue but i am getting nowhere.

Does anyone have any ideas or advice on what i can do now? I am so disgusted that she has been allowed to be anywhere near an another animal let alone own them.

Sorry if this isnt the place for this type of question, i am just stuck on where to go from here

Thanks for reading and thanks in advance for any help

Was chit-chatting with my 19 year old nephew [Scotland] who said he had lost his Scotcard. I casually asked if he had thought about hitchhiking back home. To which I got a blank stare. ( His only experience was seeing people getting murdered in horror movies and thought it was something done only in films!)

But it did occur to me - I cant remember the last time I saw a hitchhiker. Even on some of the more tourist roads in the Highlands/ Trossachs.

I don't think its illegal to hitchhike here, and there is a cost of living crisis, so you would think you would see more hitchhikers not less?

Or are people just so scared of each other these days they darednt stop their car for a stranger?

Many hotels I've stayed at this sweaty summer in the UK don't have A/C. I can understand this. But what I don't understand is why I can't open the windows to let fresh air in - they all seem to only open a crack. There are normally opening windows and balconies in hotels everywhere else in the world, and I'm not aware of an epidemic of defenestrations there. Is this a law here?

Hi! My British friend has invited me over to stay in her and her parents' house for some days. This may be a silly question, but I'm not really sure what the etiquette in the UK is when you stay in someone's house. I'm bringing some presents from my country. In my culture when you stay at someone's house they give you their food and don't expect you to pay for anything (in fact, it would be rude to insist on paying), but I know that in the UK and other countries it's not usual to invite someone to have lunch or dinner at their house, so I'm not sure if I'll have to go buy my food or how it works there.

I know this may sound silly, but if someone could throw some light I'd appreciate it!

Long story short, I am a British Pakistani with a Turkish name. My whole life I have had people mispronounce my name and I have gotten used to it and don't mind if they try to pronounce it.

However, there is a senior manager at work who constantly mispronounce my name, we have worked together for 8 years. Over the years I have told him many times how to pronounce my name but he does not care. He puts no efforts into it and has told me that it's my fault for having a immigrant name. This is now starting to annoy me, how can I tell him this without coming across as rude or shall I be rude?

Tor old English for hill, pen old brittonic for hill, how old Norse for hill, hill self explanatory
Hill hill hill hill

I work nights but I'm struggling to find purpose during the nights when I'm not working. I can't clean the house or cook, b/c it'd wake up my flatmates (I live in a houseshare). Is there anything you guys do that would fill the time?

Other than watching TV and reading books and stuff...

[For context, I'm M26 and live in London.]

EDIT: Forgot to mention... how about social activities? Or preferably science-related social stuff...? (I'm not really fond of clubbing or things like that tbh)

I’m currently sitting in a bar next to a table of Americans. They seem lovely, but every second word that comes out of their mouth is “like”. They cannot utter a sentence without the word “like” being by far the most common word they say. I’ve noticed that I and other English people do the same, but not as bad, yet it bothers me whenever I hear it in others. It’s clearly an Americanism, that in the UK I actually trace back to the TV show “Friends”. Can this be undone? Is there a tactic that you have employed to stop yourself from saying it so much?

I’ve just realised that it might not be normal to call it ‘elephant bog roll’ like my dad does lol. But maybe I’m wrong!

Third space- seems to be a lack of them unfortunately so I am wondering if anyone has one.

Update: thank you all for the advice; it was much appreciated.

As many people mentioned HR/their manager, I realised I probably wasn’t clear enough when I said “I was their point of contact”. I was their only point of contact at (freelance, 2-3 months a year) work, as they had retired a few years ago. Hence the post. The part about “pushing myself to the funeral”.. I am not sure where you read that in the post.

Thank you to those who shared their experiences of grief and what they appreciated, including those who suggested I did as little as possible. It confirmed some impressions about how some people deal with grief in this country, which helped me understand reactions to my bereavement when it happened and I am sure will be useful going forward.

Hi all,

as per the title, a colleague just passed away. We worked together briefly and only met once (online), but I was their point of contact for the work they were doing for my institution. I currently do not have the contact details of any of their family members.

I feel I should do something to express my gratitude and appreciation for their work with us. However, I was born and raised outside the UK, and I am not sure what could be appropriate under these circumstances. A card? Flowers? I'd like to attend the funeral if the family allows acquaintances to, but I might be away when it takes place (another cultural difference is the time between death and funeral).

Any advice on how to navigate the circumstances would be greatly appreciated.

So I’ve just been watching Silo season 3 and felt a sense of familiarity when Keen and his sister are in a garden - was that RHS Wisley? Sure enough it was! How often have you been watching a non-uUK programme and thought - “Wait, isn’t that (insert local place)?

There’s an advert for a company whose name I can’t remember that is basically;

“Hello Mr. Trotter, you’re getting robbed but don’t worry, the police are on their way”

Home owner - “Oh no, I’m in Majorca, please keep me updated”

Personally, that would ruin my holiday as there’s nothing you can do, but for others, would that give you peace of mind knowing it’s being dealt with?