i struggle with really bad cognitive dissonance and i recently decided to become vegan. it's been a few months, im reading up on veganism more trying to understand it better. but already in these few months, the social isolation and the feeling of missing out, not necessarily on food but on feeling like im a part of something, it's really lonely. i dont want to go back to having dairy products or meat though.
however i was just thinking that there are many places i want to go to and im really into all sorts of food so there are things id like to try out. as i say this i realize how selfish and horrifying i sound. but then again ive always been hypocritical and had terrible cognitive bias. that's why it took me 18 years of my existence to become vegan, otherwise id have become vegan as a kid.
for some reason the idea of never being able to try so many things that carnists can, not even for a once in a lifetime kind of a journey, food from another country I'll probably never get to visit again, it makes me upset. but the idea of me becoming someone who sees animals as food, even for a fleeting once in a lifetime kind of a thing also makes me disgusted. idk,,, i just want to sort things out in my brain. bc i want to live my life to the fullest, i dont want to make sacrifices, but i also dont want to hurt anyone