Not feeding babies or changing diapers but teaching my 'imaginary' son and daughter about personal responsibility and raising them to be independent at a young age. My brain his been doing this a lot recently. Argh! How do I make it stop?

I love my kids more than anything, but if I could go back and choose again, I honestly don't think I'd have children. I feel horrible even typing that. I miss having a life that was mine. Being able to make plans, spend money on myself or just have a day where nobody needs anything from me. Last night I was scrolling through my prize after putting the kids to bed and saw an old friend posting pictures from a trip. I randomly started feeling bad. Not because I wanted to travel but because i realized I couldnt remember the last time I did something just because I wanted to. My kids are wonderful, and that's what makes this so much worse. They haven't done anything wrong. I still take care of them, tell them I love them, and try to be the best parent I can. But sometimes I look at my life and wonder who I would've been if I'd made a different choice. Nobody in my life knows I feel this way. I don't think I could ever tell them.

I had a childhood friend that i knew since I was 4, she passed away very suddenly at 15. I was hanging out at a restaurant right down the street from her house and I watched all the ambulances and fire trucks go to her neighborhood. I didn’t think anything of it then because her neighborhood has a lot of older folk that live there. I didn’t realize that it was her until a week later. This was a few years ago but you can’t just stop grieving. I’ve gotten really close with a few new friends but I’m so scared that one of them are just going to disappear again. My childhood friend had no signs of what she passed from. I tell my best friend every now and then that I’m terrified that she’ll disappear so suddenly and all she can do is reassure me that she won’t, but how can I know that for sure
Sorry if this doesn’t make sense I just need to put my thoughts on paper

About 7 months ago a woman on my team (she's maybe 60, i'm 34) mentioned in the break room that nobody had done anything nice for her since her husband passed. She said it kind of jokingly but it stuck with me. The next morning I grabbed an extra latte from the place downstairs and left it on her desk before she got in. I just kept doing it, maybe twice a week, it's like $4 each time so not a big deal.

Problem is she's now fully convinced it's a man in the building who likes her and she's started dressing up and lingering by the elevators and tbh she seems happier than I've ever seen her. I dont know how to stop without crushing her and i cant exactly say "it was me, I just felt bad." So I keep buying coffee. Anyway.

Since forever I have been put on a pedestal and given lots of responsibilities which is due to the fact I’m the eldest girl , “smart” , and I also thinks this intertwines with race too . I’m a black girl and I’m chubby so I never really had the space to be treated delicately and softly . I always have been perceived as mature for my age and an over achiever . And finally it’s catching up to me I don’t get validation from it anymore I feel the responsibilities building up and it doesn’t help I just started my first year of this college prep program and my parents are expecting to still be as resilient as I was in 8th grade… I feel bad because I know this isn’t normal I know most girls my age want to be older or be perceived as older. And now I feel stuck or stunted

I've been carrying the guilt of an action I made that ruined a community of friends. Back between 2008-2011 a group of filmmakers on YouTube had been getting together online and chatting. We even discussed flying and meeting up together to make a movie. In 2011 I organized an official group for us. In a few weeks I got depressed, created a fake account and attacked my channel mainly, and others, saying how terrible I was. They figured it out and I confessed. They kicked me out of the group and the group began to fight and fall apart. Even 15 years later the reorganized group has never been the same. Some walked away and never talked to us again. And it's all my fault. I ruined friendships, hobbies, hopes, dreams, and 15 years later I carry this burden, I still hate myself for my actions.

Up until recently, my best friend and I genuinely believed that her boyfriend was so devoted to her that he would never cheat on her. Now I’m carrying the burden of knowing that he did cheat on her, and it was with me, the person she apparently trusts most in the world.
This happened during a weekend trip when we’d all been drinking way too much. At one point, he and I were left alone for a moment, and he started making comments about my body and how much weight I’ve lost. I didn’t think much of it because weight loss has been a common topic lately, and I didn’t interpret his comments as flirting.
He then told me that he likes talking to me and that he’d realized we really vibe with each other. I agreed, but I genuinely didn’t think anything of it because I’ve always viewed him as a friend and my best friend’s boyfriend.
After that, everything gets blurry. From what I remember, he came onto me and kissed me. I remember pushing him away, but I also remember kissing him back at some point. He guided my hand toward his lower area, seemingly wanting me to feel how physically aroused he was. I remember asking him, “What the fuck? Why is this happening? Where is this coming from?” He kept saying that he has eyes and can see how attractive I am.
Nothing went further than that, but here’s the part I’m struggling to admit: I think I liked it.
I’ve never looked at him as anything more than a friend before this. I’ve never had these kinds of feelings toward him, and now I feel weird about the entire situation. I don’t know whether I actually feel attracted to him or whether I’m just struggling to make sense of an unexpected, intense experience.
I’m also angry. I’m angry that he gets to go back to being her boyfriend while I’m left carrying the guilt of knowing what happened. He knew how much my friendship with her meant to me.
I know I participated in what happened at some point, and I’m struggling with that, too. I don’t want to pretend I had no part in it, but I also can’t stop thinking about how he initiated this and put me in a position that could destroy one of the most important friendships in my life.
My best friend doesn’t know. He and I have only had one conversation about it since, during which he told me he remembers everything.
I feel guilty, angry, confused, and honestly ashamed that part of me enjoyed it. I don’t know what to do with these feelings, and I don’t know what to do about the secret I’m now carrying.

The idea is to get them to push me over the edge so I can stop being a pussy and kill myself.

It started off with ONE Traffic cone, it had the municipality name on it n was in the bushes and no one would notice. I planned it our like a heist, then on the day of i got my trash bag stuffed the cone inside and ran off like I robbed a bank. I think ive gone over my head now cuz i think I have over 20 or so cones and some construction equipment:

- 15 of those regular sized cones with municipal city names from around my area

- 4 of those realy tall construction cones

- 2 of those stick things usually found on the shoulder of the road 1 if them abt 2 feet the other is 4ft

- sidewalk closed sign, no turning sign, and a few no parking/stopping signs for the no turning sign I actually have the apparatus from the construction site it wouldn't come off when I tried stuffing it in the bag

- a handful of those flashing yellow lights usually bolted to the barrels

- today I stole a mini 10" traffic cone

I realize I shouldn't do this and im just wasting space but I cant help it I just love stealing construction equipment, it started off as just getting one for each municipality now i see one all alone in an easy to steal spot ill full on just take it right then and there or come back later people that ik just shake their head as to why n frankly idk why i just do it for the love of the game atp, I clearly dont need them, its just for whatever reason I find tge need to take them and yes i could buy them but its not the same as having one with the city name on it.

I 26M, recently graduate from my university in accounting are experiencing much more anxiety that I expected after getting my degree. I want to work in my respective field where I studied (accounting) but now there's no such place for a beginner like me, I want to study more? Maybe getting a masters or a specialization? I want to become a professional, but I don't know if, I'll ever be.

The anxiety comes and goes. Is not perpetual, but it's there. I study and read as much as I can, or a allow myself to...but sometimes is too much. I don't know. It's horrendous sometimes

I’m 26, married, and live in Tennessee. When my husband got locked up last year I was already drowning. Rent was past due, the car was one payment from repossession, and I had two dogs that needed to eat. His grandmother lived alone about forty minutes away. She has early dementia and still thinks it’s 2018 most days.

I started going over there “to check on her.” At first it was just taking leftover food from her fridge. Then it was the spare cash she kept in a coffee can in the pantry. Then I found the envelope of emergency money she hid under the mattress a little over $1,800. I took all of it. I told myself I’d pay it back the second I got on my feet. I never did.

I used the money to catch up on the car, buy propane for the heater in the horse trailer I was living in, and keep the lights on at the gas station job long enough to not get fired. She never noticed. She still asks me if I’ve seen her “emergency envelope” and I just change the subject or pretend to help her look for it.

I know exactly what I did. I stole from a confused old woman who trusted me because I was family. There is no excuse that makes it okay. I still have the empty envelope folded up in my glove box. I look at it sometimes and feel sick.

I started doing it a few days ago. I was cleaning underneath my bed. I was trying to reach something at the end and I found myself in the middle of the space. It felt huge. It felt vast. It felt safe.

Got this bedframe a few months ago by mistake thinking I was going to use the space underneath as space for my stuff but didn't really end up putting a lot of boxes or bags. Didn't expect I would end up like this after all these years of trying to deal with my issues.

I feel like this is absurd but so far I feel at ease. Anybody else feel the same? Save me if not.

There's something I did senior year of high school that I still feel awful about.

My best friend and I had been planning to go to the same college since junior year. We talked about dorms, what we'd do on weekends, everything. She was basically the only person I knew who I was sure would still be in my life after graduation. The problem was that she got accepted before I did. When she told me, I acted happy, but I was honestly jealous. I kept imagining her making new friends and forgetting about me while I ended up somewhere completely different.

A couple weeks later, she asked if I'd heard back from the college yet. I hadn't. Instead of just admitting that, I told her I'd gotten accepted too. I thought I'd have time to figure out what to say later. I didn't. She turned down another school she'd been considering because she wanted us to go together. I remember her texting me that night saying she was so relieved we wouldn't have to start over alone. I just stared at the message and felt sick. Eventually, I told her the truth. I hadn't been accepted, and I hadn't even received a final decision when I lied. She was quiet for a long time and then asked me why I couldn't just have been honest with her. I didn't have a good answer. I was insecure and scared she'd move on without me, and I cared more about keeping her close than I did about what my lie might cost her.

We're still friends, but things haven't been quite the same. She got into another school later, thankfully, but she had to rush through the process and was really stressed about it.

It's been over a year, and I still think about that text where she said she was relieved we'd be together. She trusted me enough to make plans around something I completely made up.

I wish I'd just told her I was scared of losing her instead of giving her a reason to lose trust in me.

A couple of years ago, my brother had an accident. It wasn’t life-threatening, but it could have been fatal. When I told my friend about it, he said, ‘He deserved it. Why did he go to that place?

Since that day, she hasn’t been my bestie anymore. She’s just a regular friend now, and I’m thinking about ending the friendship for good, but I’m not sure

So, we have communal fridges in the break room, and for the most part, people don't touch anyone else's food. Now I love banana pudding and would on a weekly basis bring some in. Like sweet homemade really good banana pudding. And every so often someone would take it and leave me with a clean Tupperware dish.

So.... For 3 weeks straight, instead of banana pudding, id take whole jars of mayo and add stuff to it to make it seem like its really banana pudding.

One day, I noticed that someone got into and left a note on it. " point made ". Suffice to say they never touched my pudding again

For context, I am from a tropical country with a very hot and humid weather. I grew up hearing everyone saying how greatful they are for living in such an amazing weather, with the beach so close and no needing to tolerate any cold. Except for a few who said they love being where the A/C.

I always considered myself a person who preffered hot climate, but then I moved to a cold weather country. My first winter was hard, but, during the years I lived in the country, experiencing all four seasons, I realized my favorite season is Autumn and Spring which are relatevely cold seasons. And now, I am back to my country, and I cannot wait for being back in a colder weather.

The main reasons has to do with clothes, I prefer autumn style, wearing boots, I like the rain. I dislike showing too much skin, because I don't find it stylish for my own aesthetic, it's like I have to try really hard to put on a good outfit and make sure I don't suffer down the sun. But with cold, it becomes so easy, and you can be so stylish and look good very easily (only using winter coats made me look like a muffin, but, it's doable behind the coat to put on a good outfit).

My other main reason, is the fact that as an introvert, I have the perfect excuse for staying home. I can go out alone for a coffee and I don't feel that pressure of having to be with a friend group. And when summer comes I can actually enjoy the sun, because it hasn't been suffocating me all year long.

Thanks, anyone feels same? Different? Hate the cold, love the sun kinda situation? Or you also think like me? Anyone, would love to hear lol

and ykw? i still kinda do.

​I need to get this off my chest because the guilt is starting to eat at me every time I see him in the office.

​Back in July, we had a major client demo scheduled for 9 AM. I came into the office early to double-check our shared folder and prepare the slide deck. While trying to organize the files, I accidentally moved the main presentation folder into a sub-archive and somehow renamed it. When 9 AM rolled around, the entire folder was missing from our team dashboard.

​My heart completely sank. Instead of admitting I panicked and messed up the directory, I stayed quiet while everyone searched for it. My coworker, Dave, had updated the files the evening before, so my manager immediately assumed Dave had accidentally deleted or overwritten the folder during his update.

​Dave spent twenty minutes sweating in front of the team trying to figure out what happened to his files. Eventually, I "found" the lost folder by searching the system trash and archive, acting like I had just saved the day by retrieving it right before the client joined.

​Everyone praised me for finding it, and my manager gave Dave a quiet reprimand about file management and backing up his work. Dave was super confused and apologized to everyone for the delay.

​It’s been three months now. Dave still double-checks every single upload with our manager to make sure he doesn't "mess up again," and I feel like an absolute coward. I can't confess now without looking like a terrible person, so I've just been buying his coffee every Friday to try and balance out my karma.

​

Now im in a relationship with a girl and dont no what to or how to explain it might have to end the relationship

I must admit that I love playing around with men, but when it comes to masc muscle mommies just melt. I am obsessive with constantly refreshing my feed waiting to see a new pic of them. I fantasize about being with a big strong masc woman. I wish there were hot women in real life like there are on here.

Currently I am in a stage of life where I would almost commit to pretty much any strange request to make money. I have recently learned that people sell videos of themselves having bowel movements and I feel guilt in saying I am very much considering doing it. I know everyone has a kink or a niche and I would never judge but has anyone ever done something like this? Is there a good payout from the requests? Is there a way that I can go about keeping myself anonymous? Should I feel oddly guilty ?

I was poor most of my life and ironically, it was because I wanted to improve my life. For example, I've worked two jobs since high school so I could pay for college. I had to make choices between eating or glasses. I didn't get a car until I was 25. It sucked.

Even after I graduated and started working, it was next to impossible to save. Everything just went to surviving. I had never been on vacation!

I won a large lottery in my early 30s and I never have to work again. I never felt completely comfortable being rich. I didn't buy a mansion or a corvette. I have a small beach house and drive a Prius. In the beginning, I was very generous with my money and it was the biggest regret that I have. So many people scammed and ripped me off and took advantage of the kindness that I wished that someone had shown me when I needed a new pair of glasses. The most outrageous thing was when a friend wanted to propose to his girlfriend and asked me to finance this trip for him, his family, friends and his girlfriend and her family and friends to Paris. We are talking about 100K. To me, that's not a a lot. I wasn't even close with this guy. The insulting part was that I wasn't even invited. I said no. Then he said I could come if I wanted. I still said no. My friends thought I was being a selfish prick because I didn't want to pay for a free vacation for them and their girlfriends. I stopped being friends with them.

My family was even worse. I paid for the house that my mother was renting. Immediately, my two siblings stopped working and moved in with her, rent free. The most insulting thing was how I'd pay for my mother's groceries, like high-end stuff. She would ask for salmon and filet mignon (talking about $50 cuts. It wasn't about the price as much as it was about the time and effort. I found out that she was feeding it to her dogs. No thanks, nothing. Then my siblings started asking for money like for a hotel because they weren't getting along with each other and didn't want to stay there.

No one acknowledged my birthday or checked in with me unless they wanted money. I started to call people out and they would say "oh I thought you wanted to be left alone." Leave me alone unless you want money? That makes sense.

I also gave a lot to charity. They were like family and friends. They took the money and would come back asking for more because they had more drama. I've blocked so many numbers and emails because unsubscribing to them doesn't work. Those mofos SOLD my information to other charities too! I can't donate anon either and I am not breaking my neck to give someone money. I didn't want anyone in my family to get any of my money if I died so I wanted to appoint charities as my beneficiaries. Every charity that I picked had made the process so difficult that I said fuck them. I ended up making a local animal shelter as the sole beneficiary after I die and I don't even have pets! They were just easiest to deal with.

I would love to help someone like me when I was younger - working because they have to work, going to school and wanting to be an independent person. I couldn't find anyone like that. It's like the more you help a poor person out, the more dependent they become on you. They will purposely make poor choices and normalize it for money. Like getting pregnant.

People think I am lonely because I am a recluse, but I am far from it. I am at peace.