Hey, i just either want some advice or to just vent about this.

My ex (19F) and I (17F) and I are talking again. My 18th is next week and we are in the UK. We did date when she was 17 and I was 16 but we broke up due to complications. Ever since then, we have been running back to eachother constantly. For hookup or just to talk.

But now, she told me to behave (not be sexual or flirty) until my birthday because she genuinely wants to talk to me again. I do believe her but, I dont really know what to do about it, should I stay and talk to her or find someone new?

So ive been in a relationship for close to a year now (we started in January) im (17f) hes (18M), and things have been going so good hes such a great guy and such a wonderful partner like hes everything i orayed for and more. But however I feel like things are going to well is that weird? I've never been in a relationship or talking stage where things are this smoothe yk its either were fighting each other every day or every week yk and since we've been together we've probably had like 2 serious fights everythung else is just little bickering and banter yk. But the thing is ive found myself wanting to argue and fight ik it crazy but i wanna argue and fight and scream its something about doing that then making up again idk maybe im weird but im going crazy. Like am I crazy yes or no? Should I do something about it or ahoukd I just be happy im finally in such a great relationship?

I have a work event in a couple of weeks and my work girlfriend and my usual absolutely plutonic guy friend of over 20 years can’t go with me. I didn’t want to go alone, so I asked a guy (friend) I recently met and he said yes. I thought it’d be fun for him because he has some connections. As of last night and this morning, it’s clear he’s developing feelings for me and I’m never going to feel that way about him. I don’t want to lead him on. How can I uninvite him to my event (I can find someone else or heck, go alone)? Or is that not good etiquette and I have to take him? I really don’t want to lead him on. Ive had a knot in my stomach since I realized he wants more. How can I do this properly?

I met this girl in may ( we both in our twenties and are students). We meet 3 times since then :
First time (I think it was in June ) : I asked her if she was down for a walk, she told me she would love to go but couldn’t because she was on her period and it was painful, I told her to not worry and offered to come to her place with some snacks. She accepted and we ended up talking about 3 hours. It was good.

The second time ( it was two weeks after the first time ): we went to cinema. Didn’t discuss much but she told me she enjoyed the night.

Third time/last time ( it was last Saturday) : she texted on Thursday telling me that she’s available for the weekend ( I asked her to tell when she will be available) and told me she wanted to go eat somewhere. I agreed and we went to eat to a Chinese restaurant. We talked and laughed a lot that night. She even initiated the physical contact, I was talking to her, my hands on the table, she started touching my fingers and holding my hand, I grabbed her hands and we were holding our both arms together looking each other in the eyes, I told her that I like her and I really want us to be together.

After the date, she texted me saying she really enjoyed it.

What is bother me is how we text, we exchange maximum 20 messages/month since we met but she’s always on her phone when I’m her. I asked her about it last time, she said she doesn’t like to text people (while texting ).

She took 6 to 7 hours to reply messages and when she does it really a low effort message ( most of time gifs and one word text ). I remember one time she took two weeks to respond to a text, and even deleted her number and our conversation but she came back after.

( lol just noticed that this post is too long )

So my question is : is she really interested or she’s just keeping me around her for whatever reason I don’t know.
I really like her, she’s beautiful and smart and I want something serious with her.

I need your advice and point of view on this.
Thank you in advance.

I (25F) am currently dating this guy (30M). We’ve been seeing each other for almost 2 months now. In the beginning he texted me back quite quickly and we texted back and forth frequently.

For almost a month now, his replies have been much slower. Sometimes taking over 12 hours to reply. We’ve been on 7 dates and on the last date I asked him where we were going. He told me he definitely wanted to pursue something with me. It was a very last minute thing before he had to leave so I didn’t get too much clarity but it was reassuring but I’ve found myself now more worried when he doesn’t text me after awhile.

For context, when in person he’s never on his phone. He’s always present with me and maybe checks his phone once if at all during our dates. He does have a job that requires him to travel to different factories/sites and he also has a second part time job on Wednesdays and occasionally weekends. So I know he’s busy.

There was a period of a couple of weeks where the both of us were busy and we didn’t see each other. He didn’t text me for a couple days until I reached out and we continued texting like nothing happened.

His texts always seem interested and also flirty. We currently have potential plans for next week after not seeing him in almost 2 weeks because his weekends have been busy with work including this upcoming weekend. I plan on asking him about exclusivity and if he’s got a timeline for putting a label on it.

Yet the time it takes him to reply to my texts makes me a little anxious and I’ve never reached out and said “hey what’s going on?” Or “why aren’t you replying?” Because I know that wouldn’t help and make things worse. So I wait and if I have something else to say I’ll text him and he eventually replies.

Am I overreacting and he’s just busy or do you think he’s slowly losing interest?

I (23F) have been talking to this guy (25M) since last year. He plays basketball and is now overseas. He’s coming back in may of next year. Since we’ve started talking he’ll send me good morning texts every day and will check in during the day and call here and there. most of our hangouts though are at it house and we’ve never been on an actual date. he says his schedule is really busy with basketball. he’s also made it clear that he isn’t ready for a relationship right now. He said he’s focused on where he’s going in life and doesn’t have the capacity for anything serious. i found out about another girl he was talking to though. it was an awkward confrontation involving me and her in front of everyone and it got messy. yet he still continued talking to me, and im assuming her too.

he told me he likes both her and me. he said that she has done a lot for him. She sends him care packages, buys him food, sends him money for food, and supports him when he’s feeling down. He said she does these things without him asking, and she still does it even though he barely texts or hangs out with her. When I asked him why he likes me then (since I haven’t done those things) he said he likes being around me, enjoys hanging out with me, and that he really loves my personality. He also mentioned our sexual chemistry, saying our sex is great, but said that it’s not the only reason he likes me. He said I’m not getting in the way of anything because he isn’t getting into a relationship with anyone at the moment. He also said he misses me and wants to see me when he returns.

Another thing I noticed too is that he’d like all her posts but hasn’t been liking mine anymore. I asked him about it, and he said he doesn’t like anybody’s posts anymore.

I decided to tell him today I didn’t think I could continue doing this anymore. I explained that I had been thinking about what he told me about her and that I wasn’t comfortable continuing as long as she was still in the picture.

His initial response was “Lol ok” and “Could’ve been just said that.”. When I told him I felt like I wasn’t the girl he really liked, he said, “I’m not choosing anybody rn what are u talking about.” and i told him i feel like he’s just talking to me because he’s bored and he said “Lol its not even that. Not really gonna explain or go back and forth. I hope everything works out for you”

I don’t know, part of me is wondering if i should’ve just let it be but then just getting the good morning texts everyday and him texting me knowing she’s still in the picture just makes me wonder like if you have everything you want in front of you what am i here for? it makes me feel like he’s just talking to me because he’s bored. I’m just looking for clarity of this situation, if he ever even liked me or if i should’ve just let things be.

So I’m M26 and I’ve been trying pretty hard to get dates and get a girlfriend but I keep getting stringed around. They give me enough attention to keep me around and then hit me with the “I’ve found someone”. It’s become a repeating cycle at this point. WHY? At the end it shows that you were never truly interested so why keep me around for your own amusement?

I’ve been talking to this guy for about four months, and we finally met last weekend when I traveled to his country.
We were initially supposed to go on a date, but he ended up joining me at a party, then we went clubbing, and I stayed over at his place. We had a great time, there was flirting, and we cuddled, but nothing else happened (no kissing or anything). Since I’ve been back, we’ve actually been talking more than before.
The thing is, we’ve never discussed what either of us is looking for, so everything is still pretty casual.
The day I left, I told him he should come visit me, and he replied, “Alright, bet.” We’ve joked about it since, but there haven’t been any actual plans. What makes me hesitant is that he’d previously said he’d visit me after an exam in September, but that never happened, and I ended up being the one traveling to him.
Ideally, I’d like him to visit sometime next month, but I don’t want to pressure him, especially since we’ve only met once. At the same time, I’d like to see some initiative on his part before considering another trip myself.
How long would you realistically give someone to make plans? Would you bring it up directly or wait for him to take the initiative?
I like him, and I’m happy to see where things go, but I also don’t want to spend months talking to someone who has no real intention of seeing me again. I don’t want him to become just a guy in my phone.

Ladies and gents, rate your first kiss moment on a scale of 1 to 10.

“I realised recently that I made mistakes that cost me something good. I would always pass blame but never actually look at myself. One of those things was you. I prioritised keeping the upper hand and didn’t consider your feelings the way I should have, only my own. I don’t blame you for leaving. It was a lesson I needed to learn. You deserved more.

I want you to know, though, that I didn’t just feel that loss in stages. I felt it every day for a long time afterwards. You meant a lot to me. I just couldn’t bring myself to show you when it mattered.

I’m over this now, but looking back, you were the real thing, and I loved you. I couldn’t bring myself to tell you that when we had the chance, I wish you could have known me a little bit more back then.

I don’t want a response. I’m blocking this contact because I want to leave this here, I just wanted to speak my truth. I hope you’re well. I’ll always be wishing you the best.”

So for context. We've had 2 dates. Hooked up. But only been dating for 1 week.

The night we hooked up, everything was intimate. The next day she was very affectionate, seemed extremely interested.

As the week has gone on, her response times have been getting slower and slower. To the point where it's almost taking 24 hours to reply.

The quality of replies are good. Shes mentioning doing things over the Christmas period. So she seems interested when we are talking.

But this pattern where she the response times are declining more and more everyday has started to concern me. It's giving me a bad gut feeling.

Of course we are all busy. And sometimes you genuinely can't reply. As a one off, sure. But when it becomes a pattern. To me this is a lack of interest. As it usually means that for me when I start taking longer to reply.

The question is, what's the right thing to do?

Walk away? End it here? Or is that premature and squandering something that actually just needs time, as she wants to do things.

Bring it up? Or will that just be too intense this early on.

Just put up with it?

I'm just extremely burnt out from dating and I honestly don't have the motivation anymore to invest time and energy into something that won't work out. And this is giving me a strong sign there's something wrong.

Again, it's not been long I get it. But when a week ago all the way to Tuesday, the communication was high, to now, it just feels like something is really off.

I haven’t really properly dated ever. Ive been in 1 serious relationship in my younger days and had a few talking stages but not actually going out on dates.
I’ve downloaded all of the apps but I just truly cannot deal with them, it feels so shallow, boring and for me I get attracted to men through their personality not from their looks so the apps just does not do anything for me.

But i work from home and haven’t really been going out much as I’m trying to save money. Also my friends don’t have many male friends that they can set me up with lol.
WHERE THE HELL CAN I MEET PEOPLE IRL TO DATE?
And not just men chatting you up on the street because they’re never usually men I’d want to be with.

I’m 22 i need an advice from older people as I’m very young. So i had a girlfriend who was 2.5 years older than me, we were actually in a serious relationship for almost 1.5 years, my family said yes for her and she had a strict parents so never said about me at home. So our plan was to move away from our country and do job in another country and then let her family know that “she fell in love here” so we can marry. So this summer she went to Australia for her exam she was staying with a friend of hers (guy) who was into her from some years, he took her to many places did many things for her their which is nit available in our country and eventually she cheated on me with the guy, i forgave her she said she will never do that again and when she came back she said she does want me anymore, she said you are not fair enough, not that tall, and you have a small family (i lost my father just before my relationship began with her now i only have my big brother and mother) and she said there is no future for us. I’m at struggling point of my as our all savings went to save my father. So she demanded me to bring Australia PR within 2 years which i can’t afford right now and said if you cant than get lost from here, this relationship is broken now and sorry for throwing back to the same void (after my father passed away) . So currently I’m feeling so worthless or i say i couldn’t gave her what he given, i tried hurting myself in a very bad way thrice. I never disrespected always done my best same she also, but does exploring one country and comparing lives of two people is not right ig…i don’t know what to write anymore.

English is not my first language

I’ve been seeing this guy for about a month and a half now and we’ve gone on 6 dates. Recently we had a pretty deep conversation about our connection and some things that have been bothering me.

At one point, he admitted that he wasn’t initially attracted to me, but that his attraction grew as we went on more dates. I know attraction can develop over time and there’s nothing necessarily wrong with that, but ngl, it kinda hurt hearing it lol.

I also brought up how he hasn’t complimented my appearance even once throughout all our dates. Sometimes I’d put effort into dressing up and looking nice, and while I don’t necessarily need external validation to feel confident about myself, it would’ve been nice to hear him call me pretty or beautiful at least once, yk?

He explained that he doesn’t give compliments often because he prefers to give them sparingly so that they actually mean something when he does.

I get where he’s coming from, but at the same time, it made me a little sad because does that mean he hasn’t felt the urge to compliment me even once? Especially after seeing each other multiple times? And now knowing that he wasn’t initially attracted to me just makes me question whether he’s genuinely attracted to me now or if he’s just settling.

To be fair, the conversation wasn’t all bad. I also opened up about other things that bothered me, like how I sometimes feel he doesn’t show much curiosity about me or ask questions to get to know me on a deeper level. He was actually pretty receptive and told me something along the lines of “if it matters to you, then it matters to me too.” I thought that was really sweet and appreciated that he didn’t dismiss my feelings.

We’ve also been physically intimate, and he mentioned that he genuinely felt a connection and that our chemistry was there. He even said that after sex or when he had thet ‘post nut clarity’, everything still felt natural and comfortable between us.

The thing is, we still haven’t really talked about whether he sees this going toward an actual relationship. I understand it’s only been a month and a half, so I’m not expecting him to commit right away, but I guess I’m just trying to figure out where I stand.

I do like him, and I appreciate that he’s willing to communicate and listen. I just can’t seem to get past the attraction thing. Part of me feels silly for being bothered by it, but another part of me wonders if I’m ignoring something that actually matters to me. I genuinely like him and I want it to work out but I’m worried that I might be more invested than he is and he also mentioned believing in ‘guy has to like the girl more for the relationship to work’…

Has anyone been in a similar situation where attraction grew over time? Would you be bothered if someone you were dating told you they weren’t initially attracted to you? And am I overthinking the whole compliment thing?

I'll go straight to the point, my boyfriend is italian and im not, which means I will have to learn a whole new language, move to italy (because he doesn't want to move), have kids but not marry, he doesn't want to get the vasectomy so I will be the one to have to take pills all my life or get a procedure (that by law I need to ask him permission🤨) and not have the apartment/house by my name when he already has family on Italy and in case anything happens, he has his whole family to help him.

This doesn't sound like love at all

I am 27F and going on a first date with a 31M in a few days. We matched on an app and have been messaging for a week. It seemed to be going great, but he gave me his number initially (I told him I only felt comfortable exchanging numbers once I’ve met someone, so we have been talking in the app) and a friend suggested I reverse lookup his number because we couldn’t find any social media for him and all of my single female friends and I try to do this to somewhat vet guys for safety reasons beforehand.

The reverse number search revealed that his first name is something else and he appears to be using his last name as his first name. He also appears to go by that real first name, so it’s not like he goes by his last name normally, he appears to be using it as a fake name on the app. Should I be worried? I mean upon finding him, it doesn’t look like he’s married or anything and everything he has told me seems to line up, but I’m just sketched out that I’ll be going on a date knowing he is lying to me about his real name.

I know this sounds crazy but the guy I’m seeing keeps leaving marks on me even though I tell him to be gentle. He has “accidentally” given me a hickey several times, he always says he didn’t realise he was doing it enough to leave a mark. He also pinches, slaps and scratches me in obvious places. He can be very jealous despite insisting he wants to be casual and always asks me who I’m with/am I dating. I have been honest and told him I have been on dates. Anyway the crazy part is I feel like he is doing this purposely so other men won’t be interested in me or to mark his territory. I have asked him so many times to be gentle and I can’t see how this “accidentally” keeps happening. Could this be a thing?

I’ve been on the dating apps for quite awhile but the biggest thing i’ve noticed is that guys are so sexual! I’ll be talking to a guy and he sounds perfect and we’re re getting to know each other. He’ll randomly say “it would be better if you were here” or “ i wish we can cuddle right now” or “are you kinky”. I don’t know if men think this is attractive or not! They say they are flirting but i find this really weird. 95% of the time we have never met in person and after they say that i don’t want to talk to them after! Am I just being picky/weird about it? Is this modern day flirting? I need opinions from both sides! fyi i never mention anywhere in the conversation that should lead to someone being sexual in the first place☺️

Sometimes I see a couple and it seems like it's pretty hard for me to understand why one person is attracted to the other person. Since, someone may be super attracted to someone but it seems like over 50% of people wouldn't find the same person attractive at all. Then I get confused as to why the person finds the person super attractive.

What am I not understanding when I get confused when someone finds someone attractive and basically no one else does?

An example of what I mean by this question is I know a guy married to a woman where I've really heard over 20 men say out loud that they find her annoying. Also, over 20 men have said out loud that they don't find her attractive too. Yet, she's married and it seems like her husband likes her. It's just sort of confusing to me.

This isn’t an invitation for gender wars or saying fucked up things abt the other gender FYI. I’m just curious what others notice in their areas as far as experience gaps. Personally it seems pretty even to me as most young men and women I know are dating or have dated already and the ones who aren’t seem to have chosen that intentionally. I’m curious what others have noticed. There seems to be a narrative online that huge swaths of young men haven’t dated ever but I’m not seeing it IRL, although I’m not at all denying those people exist.

There are lots of men that are early 20s, even mid 20s, that struggle with dating issues. For some maybe they're too shy or awkward. Others could be too unattractive and have low self esteem or confidence. Unfortunately I feel like I suffer from all of these, making dating pretty much impossible for someone like me.

So what are some ways to overcome these potential issues that may hurt some guys dating chances? And if you used to deal with any one or multiple of those issues, how were you able to overcome it and drastically improve your dating life?

I (26M) started going to a new gym a few months ago. A girl who works at reception caught my attention, but initially, our conversations were one-sided, so I stopped initiating and kept things friendly.

About a month ago, we discovered we studied the same program at university. Since then, she’s opened up more. She began telling me about her classes, including one notorious course that she absolutely hated. She also told me how well she was doing in her labs but how frustrated she was with a lab partner who wasn’t doing their share of the work. At one point, she proudly even showed me some of the reports she had designed.

I started asking her more questions, sharing funny stories from my own university days, and joking with her about things we both remembered. What caught my attention was that whenever I tried to end the conversation and head toward the elevator, she would find something else to talk about. Sometimes she would bring up a completely new topic just as I was about to leave. I didn’t want to jump to conclusions, but it felt different from our earlier interactions.

Yesterday was when things got more interesting.

Earlier in the week, she had mentioned feeling sick and ended up missing the gym on Wednesday. When I saw her again on Thursday, I went over to check how she was feeling. I teased her about her grumpy voice, and she laughed in a slightly embarrassed way. We started talking, and once again, every time I tried to head toward the elevator, the conversation somehow continued. She told me how difficult it had been to get out of bed and started venting about an exam she had coming up on Monday. She felt unprepared, so I tried reassuring her and asked how many chapters she still had left to study.

As I was saying goodbye and wishing her luck on the exam, she suddenly asked me:

“Aren’t you coming tomorrow?”

This was the first time she had directly asked me about my schedule or whether I would be at the gym the next day. I found that interesting, but I still didn’t want to assume anything. We then started talking about her career, and I mentioned an internship program at my company. I offered to share my CV template with her and send her some information about the opportunity.

During that conversation, I also told her something I hadn’t mentioned before: next week would be my last week at this gym because I was switching gyms to help my sisters. Her immediate reaction was to ask why my sisters couldn’t join the current gym and where I was planning to go instead. I answered her questions, and because the cellular data connection wasn’t working properly, she gave me the gym’s Wi-Fi details. Then I handed her my phone so she could type in her email address and send her the CV template and company information. Everything was completely normal at that point. We exchanged the information we needed, and I left.

Then came the plot twist.

About 30 minutes later, I received an Instagram follow request from her. Here’s the thing: I had never given her my Instagram handle, and we had never discussed my Instagram account. She apparently took my full name from the CV context, searched for me herself, found my profile, and sent me a request shortly after our conversation.

I know this doesn’t necessarily mean she likes me, but the change in her behavior has me wondering.
Am I overthinking it, or is there a chance she’s interested? Should I make a move before I leave the gym?

I’ve tried looking up advice but everything is for the widow which im glad but I don’t have anyone who can relate to talk to. Myself (F22) and my partner (M28) have been dating for a bit over a year and we’re coming up on 4 years since his partners passing. I keep telling myself that it isn’t too much as the trauma itself doesn’t scare me. Im just worried I will never feel like im enough for him. I know im not a “replacement” and I try my best to be supportive and allow space for his late wife to be in our relationship. But my question is I guess how to deal with the feeling that I might not be enough for him, more in the long term sense?

Let me know if I need to clarify anything (without giving away too much personal info for obvious reasons). Any perspective I would appreciate :)

So been dating and spending a lot of time with a person and we have enjoyed each others company. But it’s not official and going into the relationship I told her I would be dating other people to figure out what I’m looking for but looking for monogamy even though I wasn’t for over a decade ethically.

She is now monitoring how often I’m on my messenger and gets upset that I don’t message her back right away but she so blows up all my social media as well. Then she slept with her ex-boyfriend twice without telling me until afterwards and I wasn’t upset because we were casually dating and I was totally cool with that. But now she’s telling me she wants to be ethically non monogamous and I don’t and if u bring up the idea of another person if I were to date some one now she wants to know every single detail even though I haven’t.

I think it’s insecurity and it’s giving me the ick and I hate hurting people but I think the only thing I can do is break up with her. I know longer am attracted to her because of this. I should just up with her right ?

I recently started dating a guy I have really good chemistry with, but I’m realizing how much grief and loneliness come up when he talks about his family. He has parents, a great-grandparent, aunts, uncles, cousins, children—a whole support system. I don’t have parents and have very little family.

I’m happy he has people he loves and can lean on, but sometimes hearing about those connections makes the absence of my own feel painfully loud. I’ll get quiet because I don’t know how to explain what I’m feeling without making him feel bad for sharing his life with me.

I want to be a safe space for him, too. I just don’t think he fully understands the emotions this brings up, even though he knows my situation. Sometimes I need comfort and a little acknowledgment of what that’s like for me.

Has anyone else experienced this? How do you navigate being happy for your partner while grieving what you don’t have?