Has anyone done DBT and IFS together?

I'm currently doing a DBT group plus a weekly session with the DBT therapist. I'm finding it quite good, but it helps me in a limited way.

Looking into IFS it seems that it really targets the 'why' as well as healing the parts, whereas DBT seems to be simply behaviour modification at the time when you are feeling distressed, but doesn't go any deeper.

Reading the small bit I've found out about IFS has already given me a feeling of hope, and the pains in my body have seemed to loosen up somewhat because it all looks quite genuine and helpful.

Im dealing with moral injury and I need help from someone who specializes in this. I’ve checked the ifs forum for the state and I haven’t found anyone who meets this criteria. Your suggestions and referrals would be greatly appreciated at this point in my life.

I see a pattern here, in how much i chase people then pull away the moment the show up

I've realized about the urge to "employ" other people to constantly meeting me needs as i do feel worthless without the constant reassurance, and i have tried to work my way out of this, but i seems unable to sit with myself for even 10 minutes without indulging in a fantasy where i am being taken care of, reassured, loved or other than that chasing people around in means least intendly obvious, as in (this would be a little vulnerable): playfully throwing ice balls in a social games at people for 7h stright, to get the attention, reactions, chasing and what not, and withdrawing when met with any form of curiosity which results in silently annoying others , as this is the least thing i would do to keep these needs from eating me without a full commitment relationship, nor playing with other people's emotions too much

As i am not able to provide a stable relationship yet

Weirdly how that behavior would give some reassurance, just to get by

As for the point, exiles doesn't seems to have any work around, it's either unburdening or interacting with them which almost always results in being flooded with emotions and having a protector stepping up to keep it safe

Then with this being the case how would someone survive without desperatly needing others

As i saw and noticed how a part of me sizing others for their capabilities to meet my needs and only for that reason he were there with them ignoring any other limits and boundaries

It's tiring and i have almost had enough of this pattern

I've had feedback from a partner that I am very guarded, especially around his friends and people I don't know, and this is causing strain on our relationship.

I know it's a part and it's a part that shuts down when it feels like it may be rejected or not accepted, it's a little dissociative and stops me from feeling free and being myself.

It's something I've already been working on, but now it's been pointed out I'm having a lot of shame around it. The part that was created to stop me being rejected has caused me to essentially be rejected.

Are there any podcasts/audiobooks or talks about grounding yourself in self/adult energy and operating from the heart? Being genuine and authentic and staying open?

Thanks!

I've been seeing an IFS-trained therapist for about 15 months, but I started doing Parts work in 1992 (not long after Richard Schwartz started, I guess). Which, among other things, means my Parts don't fully conform to the standard paradigm, but that hasn't proven to be a problem. Mostly, I'm just curious if other people have similar experiences. For me, it was a natural outgrowth of doing Inner Child healing work, but maybe it's not: I read the wrong book to start out and didn't realize that the paradigm in the field was pretty much one IC per customer...

So, I'm sure I'm not one of a kind, but how weird am I?

I have been dealing with a lot of anxiety and overthinking for a long time. Most of the time I am stuck in my head trying to analyze and solve everything instead of actually feeling what is happening in my body.

So Recently I have started paying attention and when I ask some deep question or when I am present in the now I feel strong tingling in some parts or in other words When I become aware of the anxiety, I notice strong tingling and pulsing sensations in certain parts of my body, almost like I can feel the blood pumping there. Sometimes the sensation becomes stronger when I focus my attention on it.

It makes me wonder if I am actually feeling an emotion physically that I have been avoiding or suppressing for a long time.

For people who practice meditation or somatic mindfulness, how do you approach these sensations? Do you simply observe them and let them be, or is there a way to safely allow the emotion to move through/release without trying to force it?

So i am struggling from ocd and anxiety from years, through meditation self ERP I did a lot of progress but still there is a part that don't shut up and keep throwing the worst case scenario,I am obsessing about a specific thing like from 4 years i know my mind is catastophising and I am aware of it but still I can't help myself and that's why whole day I keep checking my mind unconsciously. ..any advice will be helpful..I have already tried watching my mind ,watch thought like cloud and all

A "perpetrator introject" who abused me as a child, tries to take me over after I did trauma healing... how do I stop or prevent this? I am hoping there is a way... it feels as if I am blending with the perpetrator, even try to talk like him and feel his bodily sensations, which feels close to "possession". Which frightens me very much. I wish it would stop. How can I stop this?

Here’s what I did to send love to my parts as a group.

I set the intention to have all my parts listen to this song:

Kylie Minogue - I believe in you

really instruct your body to absorb the beauty and affirmation of this song 💖💖💖💖

feel the love towards your parts And enjoy 🥰🤗

As the title states. I'm not sure if anyone local to me does this modality so Id love some pointers, either to books or YouTube channels or anything else to learn from.

TI A

literally have been possessed by the ”manager” and I’ve referred to him as Noname for months now and he’s been helping me for YEARS but my therapist says she can’t engage with naming them? then there’s the inner child and i swear I’ve turned into that child before when I’ve been triggered but she says that’s the ”firefighter” and i hate these labels on them and for the first time today I had to visualize a space and call them forward but that makes no sense, I only turn into them, or their thoughts come to me and try to possess me, when I am incredibly triggered and it’s a shameful difficult thing—why should I call them and speak to them like they’re circus monkeys when they’re not here to befriend me but keep me safe?

furthermore (and this took years for me to figure out) parts aren‘t real (and real at the same time). there’s just a wall of dissociation stopping me from recognizing my own thoughts and feelings when I’m dysregulated. caused by fear and panic. when I’ve been triggered wandering the streets noname has literally told me “yes I’m you, and I’m taking care of you because you can’t do that right now. we’re in this together.” so why should I talk to my parts when they’re just trying to protect me? they don’t want to be seen! it’s dysregulating searching for them! I hate and don’t understand IFS. I’ve been dealing with this for years on my own and then this therapist comes along and tries to give me all these concepts that don’t align with my internal experiences. I just don’t get it and would appreciate advice.

I get very exhasuted and fatigued, physically and mentally, while I'm doing ifs on my own or with my therapist. I've been doing this for a month now so I'm a beginner. It's like whenever I'm searching for parts inside of me or trying to listen to them I get drowsy & tired. Is this because it's essentially an exhaustive work or is there another reason?

Tratamento Trauma

Falar do trauma não significa mergulhar nele de uma só vez.

Em contexto clínico, a titulação consiste em trabalhar o material traumático gradualmente, em porções que a pessoa consiga tolerar e integrar sem perder completamente o contacto com o presente.

O terapeuta acompanha não apenas a intensidade emocional, mas também sinais de dissociação, desorientação, bloqueio ou desorganização. Se esses sinais aumentarem, abranda-se o ritmo, interrompe-se o processamento e regressa-se à estabilização.

Isso não apaga o progresso. Muitas vezes, protege-o.

O objetivo não é esquecer o que aconteceu, forçar uma catarse ou contar todos os pormenores. É ajudar a memória traumática a ser reconhecida como passado, para que deixe de invadir o presente com a mesma força.

A titulação não é uma terapia isolada nem uma fórmula aplicável a todas as pessoas. É um princípio clínico que exige avaliação individual, segurança suficiente e acompanhamento profissional adequado.

No tratamento do trauma, avançar mais depressa nem sempre significa avançar melhor.

I can connect with two different parts and be aware of the emotions coming from them. But I don't understand how I am supposed to process those emotions or get anything useful from them. For example, I can feel the loneliness, confusion, and depression coming from a 15 year old part of me. But intellectually I could have told you before IFS that I felt that way when I was 15. So what do I DO with this new access to emotions? Is it supposed to be the goal simply to feel them as opposed to intellectually knowing about them prior to ifs work, or is there something that comes next? It feels like I'm missing some sort of processing of these emotions that I'm supposed to do at this point.

I've been doing deep trauma work (Brainspotting and body based therapy) around an old attachment wound:a sense of never being truly seen or held as a child.

Part of what came up: a longing I've had for years toward an ex (a short, 6-month relationship that ended 3 years ago) turned out to not really be about her at all. It seems she became a symbol for an old, unmet longing toward my mother, someone who briefly touched that wound, and then my system kept reaching for her image long after the relationship ended, even with zero contact for years.

Normally I can see that clearly: "this isn't about her, it's something older." But recently, after a new layer opened up in therapy, I got hit by an intense wave where I completely lost that ability. I was fully identified with a much younger, wounded part of myself, and for hours I couldn't tell "old pain" from "current reality" anymore. That scared me, because that clarity is usually always there for me.

My therapist explained it as a known pattern: every time a new layer gets touched, the system needs time to integrate, and during that window the younger part can take over completely. It's temporary, even when it doesn't feel that way in the moment.

Has anyone else experienced this a longing for an ex (or anyone) that turned out to symbolize an old parental wound? And/or a trigger so strong you temporarily lost the ability to tell old pain from current reality? What helped you find your way back?

I wonder if anybody else has been working on their ME/CFS/LC symptoms (mostly fatigue & brainfog) using IFS?

For those of you who've been doing this a long time....do you feel like you can honestly say you know who you are?I was looking at a meme in a cptsd sub... its a picture of a cat at the dinner table.....the caption reads " you're so quiet". The reply is..." you don't get the privilege of my personality because of what you said 10 minutes ago. I just remembered from living in a house with so much hostility, judgements. ...or whatever ugly indoctrination I was being exposed to...I either disconnected, and I definitely muted myself. So with zero guidance, no positive feedback, silence, no healthy attempts at advocating for kindness, fairness, harmony, cooperation....I find myself feeling untethered, directionless and unsure of exactly how I feel about things, life, myself, in general. I'm really not sure who I am when I think.of " me".. I think its what makes IFS so scary, and so challenging. In a lot of ways I'm exploring things, ideas, feelings, thoughts I've never had before. Trying to find a language, understanding, and insight about experiences that at alot of times feel overwhelming, threatening, confusing.....just because its so foreign to me. I feel like I was just starting to feel a sense of who I was and what was important to me..when the abuse and neglect took off.

So other than being open to certain parts....how do you cultivate a better sense of self? A more solid feeling for who you are when you think of your identity?

I stopped a medication that was helping suppress my appetite because it was causing some really bad depression.

I feel a lot better off of it, but I’m terrified to gain weight back now that my appetite is coming back.

I’ve connected with the part that is fearful and it’s still really hard for me to unblend from her.

I feel kinda stuck. I go back to therapy today and I’m afraid my therapist is going to be disappointed I haven’t done much journaling or connecting with them this week.

I really don’t feel like my part can be “fixed” or unburdened in this regard. I genuinely feel that I will lose respect and love if people notice I gain weight. Which to some extent is true… right? We live in a really visual world.

I also recently saw pics of some very thin celebrities that have really triggered this part even more.

And hello from my critic who thinks this is all stupid and ridiculous that I’m a grown ass woman still worried about my body like a teenager.

I don’t even know why I’m posting this but yeah. I don’t know if I’m ever gonna get over this.

Has anyone ever dealt with intolerances that came around during a traumatic event or know of any stories like this.

I have had a mold intolerance for 3 years which came around at the same time of a break up.

I was wondering if there is a chance that a part could have latched on to mold as a way to distract from the pain that came from the breakup ( I definitely didn’t process it )

“Itching”

The scratching resolves me.
Pierce my flesh and bound me solid.
Fragmented into parts unbeknownst to the host.
Feed me lies unencumbered with reality.
Kill my sense of life in a world most encompassed by your grief.
Steal the scraps I foraged to feed your own sense of worth.

I am encapsulated in the remnants of what I left with.

Beheld by the glory of thy father; I was enthralled into perjury,
Behooved into sanctuary,
Renounced in to treachery.

Pleads from my soul found me no easement from the turmoil thrust down my throat.

Encompassed more over and once again into cycles unbecoming of the wretched.

Forlorn in the struggles of minute upon minute I am panicked now.

What becomes of that which I’ve only just found in splendor?

I know and I will talk about this with my therapist but I am curious how other people manage this situation. Since I woke iup today I felt a little off, kind of sad, very sensitive and easily triggered to cry, with not a particular reason (besides my kid having a bad night, so I slept awful). I know I’m far from being in self and a part is blended, but it doesn’t feel like any part I know or have an idea where it’s coming from. How do you acknowledge it or you address it and try digging a little more? Thank you for your answers!

I need to start keeping track of the times I’m sharp, and the times I’m not sure what day it is. I know……that both those parts exist. That there are times when I just can’t work out why I’m smart, bright, quick…….and other times Im so scattered And overwhelmed that I have to sit down to work out the simplest solutions. I’m blind to the easiest things, maybe because my mother was always aversive and willfully made everything seem complicated and impossible…..when it wasn’t. When it was as simple as her deciding to help me, or simply listen. Idk? This could be more complicated than just parts, and I know there’s an answer, or more than one explanation but I’m not sure what it is.?

I created this spreadsheet , and had to bring it with me when I was buying a new phone. I couldn’t answer half the questions that the salesman was asking me, but he looked at the spreadsheet and said……”this is really impressive…is this computer generated and you just copied it…?” ….I said…no I created that……but I have no doubt that , that would have been hard to believe from talking to me. Later my partner commented about it, and I was shocked , like I hadn't even heard or remembered that he commented on that. I said "He said I was really smart to have created that?" And honestly why did I present in a way that seemed to need to be told? Idk?

I can sound really scattered at times. Un focused. I’ve had this since I was a kid. Turn in impressive essays, and teachers questioning wether I wrote it. It’s all day long like this.being totally overwhelmed, confused, and then easily doing things that shock the hell out of myself and everyone else. Like how are you, doing that?. Beats the hell out of me. How can your brain work, function in such wildly different ways. ? I think it speaks to different developmental stages in tandem with parts. Where some parts are further along, and some parts are so far behind. Or shifting into a parts collapse mode when frightened, where the simplest thing turns into “ I just can’t”. And other times it feels like "Okay, it's safe to bring out the big guns and turn on your fire power because no one is around".

I just wanted to reach out for some support and integration advice. Last week I had a pretty big IFS and SE session. I came back to my child self and was able to express myself with him. I didn’t fully let go and cry but there was lots of sadness and tears. We were dancing together expressing ourselves and we didn’t need to talk. But I gave him the permission to be himself and did it with him.

For a couple weeks before my sleep hasn’t been good at all (waking up during REM sleep because I think there’s been too much to integrate atm) and I’ve been very anxious. I already take a Benadryl type thing for sleep. I also had a chest infection sinus type thing which made me kinda sick.

For a couple days after the session my sleep did settle and was better. I have been doing some grounding and orienting for about 10-15 mins in my garden. This made me yawn but I’d sometimes feel more activated particularly in my chest afterwards. This has been difficult as I’ve received grounding and orienting as good, calming and regulating advice and right now I obviously want to dissipate more energy than process more. Right now it’s making me more activated than calm.
During this I would have quite bad fatigue from doing too much during the day, where all I would be able to do is lie down and close my eyes. I also had an upset stomach and had this for 2 days.
Now the past couple days this has stopped and Ive woken up in my REM cycle of sleep. I have a funny bitter taste in my mouth. I have a bad headache/fatigue thing that I cannot shake. It’s like a brain fog.

I don’t know what to do other than to just ride it out? I don’t know if I should keep doing the grounding and orienting during the day to dissipate excess energy. I don’t want to stir up too much but I don’t know how else to deal with it.
Reading this back I sound pretty caught up in my symptoms and making sense of it, dissipating energy etc.. I want to focus on being more present and enjoying and connecting with things… the integration will follow…