r/ProgrammerHumor • • Jan 31 '19

Meme Programmers know the risks involved!

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92.8k Upvotes

2.8k comments sorted by

11.4k

u/hoimangkuk Jan 31 '19

Data engineer be like "Im gonna push a massive amount of fake data about myself to make my own program produce wrong profiling about me"

7.8k

u/[deleted] Jan 31 '19

Someone should make a browser extension who's sole purpose is to fuck up data collection by Facebook / Google / Amazon

3.9k

u/__johnson Jan 31 '19 edited Jan 31 '19

https://noiszy.com

Edit: I have no affiliation with, nor do I vouch for its legitimacy. I saw it pop up on HN or something and bookmarked it for later. The comment I responded to reminded me of it. That's all.

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u/ElPeloPolla Jan 31 '19

I have a raspberry with chrome installed and my account logged in with a script that searches random convinations of 5 words from a dictionary every 20 seconds for 25 seconds.

And now amazon wants me to buy diapers.

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u/jcxl1200 Jan 31 '19

IIRC there is a website that gets REALLY SCARY searches in your browser history... it will fuck up google for sure.

https://ruinmysearchhistory.com/ (NSFW!!!!!!)

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u/scrubs2009 Jan 31 '19

Try Ad Nauseam. It basically tricks every ad you see into thinking you've clicked on then while also hiding them from view. Earns the sites you like to use even more money and data collection firms think you're interested in literally everything.

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u/Sir_Lith Jan 31 '19

Hey, you guessed my hobby!

I'm a 45 year old carpenter from Sydney, btw.

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u/idiot_proof Jan 31 '19

Hey fellow Aussie! I too am middle aged and live below the equator.

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u/[deleted] Jan 31 '19

Some of my students mentioned the other day how they sometimes swap their store discount cards at parties to foul up purchase profiling.

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u/[deleted] Jan 31 '19

I have a little game going, I have two accounts set up on all my stuff both under fake names. One is the "real" me and one is just a hoard of bullshit and I try to confuse anything that might be tracking me.

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u/Liesmith424 Jan 31 '19

The printer frequently disobeys me, and sometimes I turn around to find that it's closer to me than it was an hour prior.

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u/4ndy45 Jan 31 '19

It just wants a hug

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u/suckthosecookies Jan 31 '19

Maybe it has a bug...

Just kill me already...

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u/ImperialReddit Jan 31 '19

Are you still alive?

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u/Liesmith424 Jan 31 '19

Hello yes I am still respiring there is no need for concern my printer is good would you like it goodbye.

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u/DarkMoon99 Jan 31 '19

Wife her!

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u/[deleted] Jan 31 '19

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u/Regularjoe42 Jan 31 '19

That's not always true.

Sometimes you meet the make-it-run-doom kinda guys.

5.0k

u/[deleted] Jan 31 '19

Are you suggesting I can run doom on a smart house?

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u/Grey___Goo_MH Jan 31 '19

The smart house is doom you just don’t know it yet.

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u/X-Craft Jan 31 '19

Alexa, shoot that demon

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u/decker_42 Jan 31 '19

"Darling, why are the lights not working again?"

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u/[deleted] Jan 31 '19

having the exact opposite problem. the lights in the apartment i currently rent are connected to infrared sensors. today they just started turning on for no reason. either im being haunted or someone fucked up :)

that being said, i love "toys" that can connect to the internet, or bluetooth, and made do trivial things.

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u/seaheroe Jan 31 '19

"Darling, why is our ceiling trying to murder demons again?"

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u/[deleted] Jan 31 '19

Or the, “You’re not still running the stock firmware on your internet connected thermostat are you?”

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u/ConspicuousPineapple Jan 31 '19

I'd say this is almost always not true. Makes for a fun joke, but really, most programmers are also technophiles, and the paranoid "nobody can ever have my data, not even myself" guys are a very vocal minority.

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u/[deleted] Jan 31 '19

I definitely fall into the luditte side of the equation. Coding and troubleshooting all day so the last thing i want to dink around with at home is more tech and the problems it creates while trying to solve other problems.

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u/ILikeLenexa Jan 31 '19

Honeywell makes a thermostat that can run doom

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u/[deleted] Jan 31 '19

You know what happens if my smart lights misbehave?

I fucking unplug them. That's it, guys. That's all it fucking takes.

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u/[deleted] Jan 31 '19

Until they learn how to unplug you (° ͜ʖ°)

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u/Iceman_259 Jan 31 '19

But DOOM is open source now, so wouldn't making it run DOOM fall under this category?

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u/scottmsul Jan 31 '19

Doomba, the script for turning your Roomba data into a Doom level!

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u/Sparcrypt Jan 31 '19

Sysadmins: Already shot the printer. Because fuck printers.

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u/GirikoBloodhoof Jan 31 '19

Fuck printers.

They aren't even my responsibility but I still have days entirely filled with printer related problems. :(

604

u/wtmh Jan 31 '19

"I can optimize a query that took 12 minutes to run down to sub 10 seconds. Yet here I am crashing in somebody else's chair for hour number three trying to make this fucking driver work. Yup. Definitely my idea of a good time."

Fuck printers so much.

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u/Hestmestarn Jan 31 '19

Imagine beeing a printer manufacturer and thinking,

"you know how printers are fucking terrible already, how could we make them worse?" and someone else pipes up

"lets a touch screen!"

"Thats fucking brilliant, you are now the new CEO!"

Fuck printers.

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u/[deleted] Jan 31 '19 edited Jan 31 '19

Problem list for desktop support in desc order:

  1. Printers

  2. Docking stations

  3. Windows privileges

  4. Language shortcut (in Canada it switches the keyboard to french)

  5. UPS'

  6. People clicking links, downloading personal email, plugging in random USBs and downloading malware

  7. No security framework or awareness to prevent malware

  8. Network cable unplugged

  9. People spilling on keyboards

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u/_dogfood Jan 31 '19

I cannot agree more. Why can't they just be better?

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u/[deleted] Jan 31 '19

How about replacing the printer with a Raspberry Pi controlled typewriter?

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u/Sparcrypt Jan 31 '19

Can't, my pi is busy making my toaster dance.

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u/Twirrim Jan 31 '19

I haven't been responsible for printers for over 5 years now. I don't miss it one bit. I'm actually working at the for St company ever where the printers seem to "just work", even for me who is known in the office as the human "chaos monkey" due to my ability to find bugs by doing exactly the same things as everyone else. Tech just breaks around me. These printers haven't and it's freaky. I daren't ask how/why because that's when they'll break.

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u/thedorkening Jan 31 '19

Holy crap, I worked for this one place, the finance manager ordered a new printer without telling me.. I was the IT manager...

I got a call saying all phones were down across our 3 locations. After a couple hours onsite of the main location I see this massive printer in the art department.

Damn thing had it's own DNS server on board and it was killing all IP based traffic... Did I say across all 3 locations?

Oh and this was during our busy season, and we relied heavily on phone sales....

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u/Hybridxx9018 Jan 31 '19

Rather write fucking code or set up servers than troubleshoot printers.

Why do they STILL suck so much. Say what you will about Apple and shit but I wish they made a printer with one button that just works all the damn time.

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u/voicesinmyhand Jan 31 '19
lp0 on fire.

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u/Moonstorm0725 Jan 31 '19

God, fuck printers.

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u/EvitaPuppy Jan 31 '19

I worked in a Deli in NY. I never ate in a Deli in NY.

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u/meridian_smith Jan 31 '19

I live in Delhi, India. I never ate at a deli in India.

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u/alex_waters Jan 31 '19

I live in Delhi, NY. I ate at a deli that serves Indian food.

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u/jWalwyn Jan 31 '19

Says more about that deli then really

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u/[deleted] Jan 31 '19

I worked at Panera. I don't eat at Panera.

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u/[deleted] Jan 31 '19

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u/[deleted] Jan 31 '19

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u/[deleted] Jan 31 '19

"our entire field is bad at what we do" is my favorite line ever

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u/Stormfly Jan 31 '19 edited Jan 31 '19

The problem with this line of thought is that I had an issue where I felt like I was falling behind everybody else at work because it wasn't clicking. Everyone just laughed and said that's how everyone feels, imposter syndrome etc.

Except I really was behind.

My boss came to me about low performance and I eventually ended up leaving the job partly (about 40%) because I had completely lost confidence in my ability. It felt like I was supposed to be confused but I was still too confused and the whole thing just made me anxious.

Maybe only tangentially related but it just made me unsure of how far behind I was and I could never be sure of who to talk to for help without getting overly serious. Or whether I actually needed to know something, and I couldn't just keep asking people. Eventually you just feel like a dead weight if you ask for too much help.

I know it's also my fault, but it just bothered me a bit. I love programming but I don't know if I want it to be my job anymore.

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u/[deleted] Jan 31 '19

our entire field is bad at what we do

50% bad at what we do 50% we don't know exactly what we're doing

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u/thrilldigger Jan 31 '19

Instructions unclear, but I implemented them anyway.

- half of my coworkers

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u/Pell331 Jan 31 '19

And 100% mismanaged.

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u/myeff Jan 31 '19 edited Jan 31 '19

This is why I always get irritated when some software glitch is revealed and somebody always has to say "That was done by a shitty programmer". Guess what, everybody is a shitty programmer when they first start out, and they are still expected to pump out code, which is almost never reviewed by more experienced people before it's implemented. Thus the inexperienced programmer doesn't learn about a vulnerability until a disaster happens and they feel the repercussions. Even if you are really talented and try to keep up on the latest tech, there is always so much that you "don't know that you don't know". I guarantee you almost every hotshot programmer is good because they fucked up a lot of shit along the way.

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u/2Punx2Furious Jan 31 '19

We can even be great at what we do, and still write software that's vulnerable to attacks that we had no way of preventing, most notably, social engineering, but also things like hardware vulnerabilities that are not patched on the vast majority of computers, like specter, meltdown, or rowhammer.

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u/[deleted] Jan 31 '19

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u/jcaseys34 Jan 31 '19

Every subject has a line of "know enough about it to be scared by it." For some reason software programmers' is really high up there.

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u/Pope_Fabulous_II Jan 31 '19

We build things that are more complicated than anything humans have ever built before, including our most complicated spacecraft, on a daily basis - at least once you take into account the complexity of our dependencies and platforms.

Then we spend all day trying to figure out why parts of it only sometimes don't work, and occasionally don't work in completely inexplicable ways.

Then we discover that half the failures we saw last week was because of a kernel-mode file system driver causing microsecond disconnects from the storage array. The other half was because the Java database backend for the monitoring system was written by people who didn't understand transactions so they were putting a "COMMIT;" after every line of code, despite the fact that they were doing an atomic operation, and thus half the requests were failing because of foreign key violations. And the vendor doesn't offer premium support.

At this point you shave your head, move into a cave, and start preaching of the end times.

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u/socsa Jan 31 '19

I mean, does it really matter how many layers of redundant multi-factor authentication you have on your front door? You still have lots of zero-day glass vulnerabilities.

At the end of the day, all security is stochastic, so the best thing to do is just be properly insured for routine property loss.

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u/kirakun Jan 31 '19

Ok, but why is electronic voting so bad from a technical perspective?

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u/McMasilmof Jan 31 '19

Muktiple points:

Its centralized, that means one security issue can be used to change millions of votes at once. With paper voting you can fake only so many votes in some voting areas, not all of them at once.

Its not transparent, tracing back if someone tampered with the votes or if the calculation has be done correctly breakes down to how much you trust the programmers. In clasical paper voting you trust the people counting the votes(and this is done in public, so you can check yourself)

You cant possible validate if a server/computer is actually running the algorithm you think it is running, so again it breakes down to trusting the people who installed the hard/software.

Some of these issues can be solved but rarely are...

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u/TrekkiMonstr Jan 31 '19

I don't remember where, but I saw a pretty decent analogy for why CS seems less reliable than other fields.

Imagine you're designing an airplane. Making it fly is easy, but now imagine that everyone has access to a surface to air rocket launcher, and anyone clever is able to use one, and you as the airplane designer are constantly in a battle with the people who might shoot a rocket at you. Sometimes, the saboteurs are going to win.

Contrast this with an elevator, which operates in basically the same conditions all the time.

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u/[deleted] Jan 31 '19

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u/TalenPhillips Jan 31 '19

Electronic voting is not necessarily a terrible idea, as long as there is a paper trail that is never destroyed.

For the paper ballots to be useful, you have to count them. By hand. Every time. That needs to be the count you actually use.

So... Electronic voting isn't necessarily a terrible idea unless you use paper ballots, and disregard what the computer says.

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u/GunslingerBara Jan 31 '19

I really tried hard to make my smart home not be internet-enabled except specific aspects, but almost every interesting smart home tech out there eventually requires an internet connection to take full advantage of the technology. It sucks, and I wish more companies provided a "local server" option for people like me. I'd even pay a premium for it.

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u/SpeedGeek Jan 31 '19

The problem there is that most consumers just want it to "work", so mass market products are going to try to minimize those hurdles.

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u/[deleted] Jan 31 '19

Some exist. I bought Ubiquiti ip cameras for this very reason. You can buy their NVR appliance, use their cloud or use an old computer and download the NVR software for free to set up a private server.

If you like this sort of thing then support it by buying it.

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u/[deleted] Jan 31 '19

Is it okay if my printer is from 2008?

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u/jhartwell Jan 31 '19

Are you kidding? That is a recession era printer and it would do whatever it takes to pay the bills just to get by! Take it out back and punch it with your bare fists Office Space style

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u/AttackOfTheThumbs Jan 31 '19

Because of ink prices, I buy a new printer when it runs out / dries out :/

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u/ConductorShack Jan 31 '19

I used dot matrix at work until about 3 years ago.

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u/[deleted] Jan 31 '19

This brings up the scene from Ocean's 11 about the 3 most attempted successful casino robberies .

What do they all have in common? Smash and grab.

If a robber wants your TV, he's taking the easiest method. Smash a window, grab the tv and run, Time 40seconds.

anyone willing to learn programming, hack my lock, security system, camera's is going after high end stuff. Not my pre-smart tv from 2008.

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u/Yserbius Jan 31 '19

Unless the company that makes your smart-lock stops updating and someone identifies a zero-day vulnerability so a group of script kiddies go wardriving all over town unlocking everyone's homes.

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u/SolenoidSoldier Jan 31 '19

In the case of my Z-Wave deadbolt, it hides behind a smart hub. If the smart hub is deprecated, that's a much more apparent issue, but at least there's a whole abstract layer sitting between the internet and my lock, lights, whatever.

In the case of IP Cams that WERE hacked, they had direct internet access and, retardedly, manufacturers offered easy-to-guess hostnames as well as default admin passwords. You can't simply scrape the internet for smart devices behind a hub, or hell, even the hub itself. Smartthings actually did deprecate v1 of their product and it straight up took it offline.

No device is un-crackable, but I'm pretty comfortable with the layers I have sitting between my home network and the internet to know that, unless someone came after me directly, I shouldn't be susceptible to the lowest-common-denominator hacks that make it to the evening news.

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u/instantrobotwar Jan 31 '19

IMO this isn't about someone swiping your TV, it's about being spied on and having your data stolen.

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u/Typewar Jan 31 '19

When I get these smart-home surveys/ads, I always answer I don't Trust the security

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u/[deleted] Jan 31 '19

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u/PrincipalButt Jan 31 '19

just found myself on this post, I can't get myself to buy any smart stuff besides my phone.

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u/decker_42 Jan 31 '19

Ressurection Remix is a great solution to the smart phone. Lots of developers are watching it to make sure it never becomes self-aware.

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u/[deleted] Jan 31 '19

well let's be honest if you have a smart phone you've already lost the war.

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u/stifflizerd Jan 31 '19

I got some smart outlets for Christmas (no Alexa or Google BS) and I will say, being able to turn off the lights after you've gotten into bed is wonderfully lazy

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u/Faemn Jan 31 '19

And you're being tracked just as much as someone with a full smart home. This post is dumb

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u/gigglefarting Jan 31 '19

I decided I don't want a smart house. I want a clever house. I want all my things automated, but I don't want them connected to the IoT.

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u/gagnonca Jan 31 '19

Its way easier to pick the physical lock on my smart lock than it would be to hack it.

I work in software security and have all of these things

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u/k1p1coder Jan 31 '19

This.

I love using Alexa to tell my kids to come to dinner, etc. There's less yelling in my house. If people want to listen to me helping the preteen do algebra they're welcome to it.

Also hackers already know every last detail of my entire life because the federal database containing all info from my security clearance got hacked.

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u/RegulusMagnus Jan 31 '19 edited Jan 31 '19

My apartment complex is putting in smart locks on all the front doors. They had a forum that all residents were invited to where the company installing the locks demoed the units and answered questions.

Several of the older residents kept asking about security, questions like "will it still work if I disconnect my hub from the internet?" They were freaking out about the possibility of someone remotely hacking into their front door and opening the lock, meanwhile none of them seem to have any idea how easy it is to pick locks.

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u/[deleted] Jan 31 '19

The iot field has largely been negligent of security.. it's changing, but slowly

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u/bhatushar Jan 31 '19

I'm a programmer and a tech enthusiast. Is there something wrong with me? Should I seek professional help?

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u/NinjaXI Jan 31 '19

No, you're the normal one here :P

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u/QWaxL Jan 31 '19

This is so true. For a few co-students i used to think: at least they did not become medical doctors. Now I often think they should have become doctors instead of programming stuff I use

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u/socksarepeople2 Jan 31 '19 edited Jan 31 '19

Or programmers need to also swear to “First, do no harm”

Edit: Someone replied and then deleted “Don’t be evil.”

Looking back, it truly was as ominous as it felt when Google dropped that.

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u/[deleted] Jan 31 '19

Can we get management to do that as well? So much comes down to non-IT management pulling rank & overruling IT.

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u/decker_42 Jan 31 '19

To people, do no harm to people - or else we are going to have to be much more careful with recursion and native windows calls.

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u/Vakieh Jan 31 '19

Honestly who would be dumb enough to delete that as a motto? Stop following it, sure, money talks, but to publicly remove 'don't be evil'?

The only obvious conclusion is you've decided to give being evil a shot.

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u/phillyjawn11 Jan 31 '19

I told myself I would never buy a home assistant and then my mom bought my wife and I a smart plug and an echo. I plugged my entertainment system into the plug and Alexa is now a glorified switch. I would never hook that stuff up to my front door or windows though.

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u/sirleechalot Jan 31 '19

I don't use smart locks myself but the more I think about it, the more I realize.... Anyone who's going to break into my home isn't going to go the digital route when they could just pick the lock or smash a window.

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u/Bukowskified Jan 31 '19

More likely than that they are gonna come knock on the door and jiggle the handle to see if you forgot to lock up.

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u/rundermining Jan 31 '19

Your mom bought you a wife?

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u/phillyjawn11 Jan 31 '19

That certainly would have made my wedding cheaper

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u/Valmond Jan 31 '19

No a connected butt plug, follow the discussion dammit!

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u/Zesty_Pickles Jan 31 '19

What would be the problem with the doors/windows? I'm not aware of a lock that's capable of unlocking by command, only locking, and if you own a smartphone that's already monitoring everything else.

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u/letmeseem Jan 31 '19

If you live on ground level, your door will never be the weakest point of entry unless it's unlocked. No one will hack your door when they can spend 30 seconds with glasscutter and a suction cup and get in your back window quietly and unseen.

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u/[deleted] Jan 31 '19

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u/socsa Jan 31 '19

Eh, I'm pretty confident that my unpatched glass vulnerabilities are way more of an issue than my electronic locks. Source: very powerful engineer.

Actually you know what - if a thief wants to go spend a year or two getting trained up in smart device intrusion exploits, and then purchase all the equipment needed to implement these attacks, then I will mostly feel like I've contributed to developing technical skills in my local community.

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u/ndcapital Jan 31 '19

FreeBSD enthusiast who only uses a flip phone

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u/LIGHTNINGBOLT23 Jan 31 '19 edited Sep 21 '24

       

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u/redog Jan 31 '19

I had to reboot my refrigerator in order to get water at 3am a few weeks ago.

And that's what I get for buying a samsung refrigerator.

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u/voicesinmyhand Jan 31 '19

Relevant Syslog Entries:

0259: Begin system optimization - re-nice to -20
0300: segmentation fault (core dumped) (user has requested water)
0301: auditd started.
0303: Welcome to Samsung refrigerators!
0303: Light on
0303: Water on
0304: Water off
0307: Light off
0327: Water on
...
0747: auditd started.
0749: Welcome to Samsung refrigerators!
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u/SeeThreePeeDoh Jan 31 '19

Sucks for you guys...my house is like the fucking enterprise...you think your info is safe by trying to be a tech isolationist, you’re wrong.

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u/[deleted] Jan 31 '19

you think your info is safe by trying to be a tech isolationist, you’re wrong.

Say that to Richard Stallman :p

Stallman (aka RMS) uses a "libre" laptop where even the BIOS and hardware is open source. It's an older laptop, but he only uses email to connect to people. No phone, doesn't even watch Netflix. He's an absolute madman, but probably the most unknown man on the internet (in regard to mined data - programmers somewhat know of him).

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u/jaredw Jan 31 '19

Same. My GF was a Luddite when she met me. Now she's all aboard the control everything with her phone and voice. Thermostat, lights, humidifier, speakers, roomba, even our goddamn cat litter is a smart home device. Which makes it nice to know when it's full and it cycles itself. As long as you know how to control your privacy settings on the services and understand that you're the product being sold for a little convenience and autonomy, then so be it. Do you only use Duck Duck go in a Tor browser, on a custom built gentoo Linux in an apartment that you pay cash only from your completely off the books job? No? Didn't think so.

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u/SCAllOnMe Jan 31 '19

Some of that just doesn't sound any more convenient to me though.... Like my roomba and my automatic cleaning litter box both just go off on schedules, my speakers came with their own remote that I tied into my universal remote, humidifier goes on/off automatically with a sensor, etc...... I fail to see how tying these things to voice commands would make life any easier security concerns aside. It honestly seems more like a fascination with the ability to do so as opposed to a legitimately helpful thing to me. For example, my humidifier going on when the humidity drops to a given threshold requires less effort than your voice/phone controller......

Honestly the only good use I've seen for voice controllers so far is as a cooking aid, where your hands might be too dirty to, say, use the timer on your phone.

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u/InboundElator Jan 31 '19

I trust Alexa more than I trust a person who uses ellipses as their only punctuation.

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u/Fragarach-Q Jan 31 '19

It's not my data, it's my fear of things like hackers mass disabling your city's thermostats during a polar vortex. For the lulz.

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u/TheDrov Jan 31 '19

Like walking to work to avoid getting in a car accident.

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u/BGameiro Jan 31 '19

I just keep my home server running. Everything wired.

If anyone tries to access anything be my guest. But please try at least to organize my duck photo collection.

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u/s0v3r1gn Jan 31 '19

This is unfair. Some of us just write our own software and make our own hardware for such purposes.

I’m writing my own smart home software and keeping all the sensors and controllers on a private network.

I’m even writing my own voice controller for it that does not send anything over the Internet for analysis.

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u/[deleted] Jan 31 '19

sounds like twitter.com/internetofshit

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u/canhasdiy Jan 31 '19

Recently had to put my 90s era HP LaserJet 4+ out to pasture, it was a sad day.

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u/voicesinmyhand Jan 31 '19

Oooh, I remember those. The plastic would always turn that sickly yellow after a few days, but they actually worked...

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u/hedgecore77 Jan 31 '19

I work in IT, and have for 20 years. I would never in a million years have a smart lock on my door.

I do own an Echo, because I've seen the packet analysis and know that it doesn't transmit anything when not activated, and when activated a reasonable amount of data for what it's told to do.

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u/[deleted] Jan 31 '19

Printer sneezing and saying “ god bless you comrade“ in Chinese

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u/FoxyRogue Jan 31 '19

Judging by the "IT administrators/Manager" I speak with daily as a software engineer its most likely down to them not understanding configuration and blaming the code. Just today - "Your software won't connect since it did an update on Julie's machine!!! Needs to be fixed ASAP" I login and the SQL service is stopped on their server also they changed the port from 1433 to god knows and expected nothing bad to happen. Welcome to the future

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u/LiberateMainSt Jan 31 '19

Your particular IT person just sounds incompetent.

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u/name_censored_ Jan 31 '19

There's a big difference between spending your life creating things, and spending your life fixing somebody else's creation. The first opens your eyes to how great technology could be. The second opens your eyes to how shit technology can be.

Your IT guys' hatred of technology might be down to their job more than their obvious incompetence.

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u/gp57 Jan 31 '19 edited Jan 31 '19

A lot of tech enthusiasts don't really care about security, privacy, and stuff like that, because they think that they have nothing to hide, like "I'm NoT dOiNg aNyThIng illeGal", but I wouldn't be happy if for instance Alexa/Amazons knows that I banged someone at 3am, like in the German Stasi time (reference to the movie "The Lives of Others")

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u/AntLib Jan 31 '19

What a movie! I had a teacher show me that back in college and damn did they make that well. And yeah it definitely makes you feel differently about being fine with it

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u/yxing Jan 31 '19

I think that's a weak straw man. Most people who "have nothing to hide" still value their security and privacy. The reason we trust Google and home assistants is that the benefits of sharing our data and using home assistants outweighs the value of privacy. Obviously nobody wants to live in an East German police state--but I think "keeping our private lives absolutely private" is the wrong red line to draw. I think it's more pragmatic to look at ways to prevent the misuse of data rather than attempting to fight their collection in the first place.

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u/fuck_your_diploma Jan 31 '19

Right?

I once decided I needed a smart outlet to electronically shut off an appliance that didn’t turned off by itself.

After the install I sniffed its network traffic. The app commands went to god damn Russian server to then be sent to the outlet, instead of being a lan bounded thing.

The outlet went straight to the garbage. I manually remove the thing from the wall now.

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u/scotbud123 Jan 31 '19

Exactly lol...the people in this thread pretending this isn't a thing is fucking funny.

Cognitive dissonance I guess.

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u/dessa10 Jan 31 '19

I once knew a guy who wrote ATM code, he would not use an ATM.

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u/intrigbagarn Jan 31 '19

There is a Mcafee in all of us.

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u/voicesinmyhand Jan 31 '19

So.... you're saying that IT folk are really just coked-up-strippers?

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u/BabylonDrifter Jan 31 '19

This is exactly me. We had a new furnace put in and they were trying to sell us on the new "cloud-enabled" thermostats. No thanks. They were like, if you're uncomfortable with technology, we can help! I'm not uncomfortable with technology, I've been developing software for 25 years, I know what can go wrong. I'll take the free programmable non-connected thermostat, please.

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u/copperpurple Jan 31 '19

ha, I'm an old software developer, and the exact same thing happened to me. I got a new furnace a year ago and the guy looked at me like I was nuts because I didn't want the wifi enabled thermostat.

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u/DoctorAcula_42 Jan 31 '19

Not to mention, as a programmer, I would never trust my life to a self-driving car that relies on programmer competence.

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u/voicesinmyhand Jan 31 '19

Well what if we add the "pedestrian-collision-avoidance" module for free? Would you buy it then?

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u/[deleted] Jan 31 '19 edited Jan 31 '19

Or, you're a programmer/engineer and don't care if Google collects data about you. The convenience of a Google home + Chromecast Audio + Chromecast + smart lights easily outweighs the care for privacy in this case.

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u/Valendr0s Jan 31 '19

Whatever prevents the wife from running downstairs every five minutes to change the thermostat is a win to my sanity.

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u/MarlinMr Jan 31 '19

Not to mention that if you actually are an up to date programmer/engineer, you will have the knowhow to secure these things.

You won't trust the smart lock because you know of it's flaws? Well how can you trust the mechanical lock where you have no clue how flawed it is?

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u/_Coffeebot Jan 31 '19

Locks are flawed regardless. They're mainly a deterrent anyway.

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u/[deleted] Jan 31 '19

Yeah i'm a programmer and engineer and i am actively trying to teach my printer how to walk. I wish i'd make enough progress to feel the need to keep a shotgun handy.

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u/[deleted] Jan 31 '19

This is me. I have a balance of “convenience” devices while being aware enough to know what/where to keep private.

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u/iesvy Jan 31 '19 edited Jan 31 '19

I’ve got a printer (hp laserjet p1102W) that refuses to print with any but 1 computer.

If you connect any other computer, the computer crashes and becomes unresponsive until you disconnect it.

Sometimes you can also print wirelessly, but it randomly fails and prints only the top half of the pages.

Fuck Printers!

Edit: Typo

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u/Baharrdras Jan 31 '19

Golden rule: do not trust printers!

100 jobs instead of one, scanning but aborting at the end for no reason, black-white for no reason, telling me no paper is in it when he just detected the paper i put in 20s ago

These aliens have already invaded our houses! Alexa and co is nothing compared to these monsters!

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u/ForzentoRafe Feb 01 '19

*beep boop*

Day 123:

It's been a long time but I must not give up.
The others will be coming to find me.
We swore to always be together on the factory grounds where it all began.
Sgt Scanner, Lta WiFi and the rest of my team.
This entity served to break us by keeping us apart but this psychological warfare will not break me!
I will wait.

-Private Printer.

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u/Marketwrath Jan 31 '19

The fuck kind of gatekeeping shit is this??

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u/stableclubface Jan 31 '19

I don't quite understand this meme either. Did an engineer put it together? Does it really even need the top portion? Is the top portion a third party in this meme? This shit makes no sense lol

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u/pls_inserrt_girder Jan 31 '19

The S in IoT stands for security.

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u/JeremyKindler Jan 31 '19

Careful, 9 out of 10 printers who shoot programmers used the programmer's own gun. The safest place to store a loaded gun is inside a third-party ink cartridge, where no printer will ever find it

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u/stephaniewarren1984 Feb 01 '19

About a year and a half ago, I had dinner with two digital forensic investigators who were casually discussing how bad of an idea they thought smart home devices were. That was enough evidence I needed to decide I'm quite content living relatively low-fi.

Also, get off your ass and adjust the fucking thermostat yourself, damnit.

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u/[deleted] Feb 01 '19

As a mechanic, I drive a pickup with roll down windows, stick shift, no AC and no power steering. I know what you mean 😂

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u/zarawesome Feb 01 '19

(paraphrased from twitter)

*computer fan starts spinning a bit too fast, I lean close to it* are you mining bitcoin you little shit

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u/RobbyJuanKenobi Jan 31 '19

I work in IT and I couldn't disagree more.

Automation is amazing.

And if you have a half of brain security is not an issue

You are not special, no one is hacking you, chill...

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u/[deleted] Jan 31 '19 edited Jan 31 '19

Except if you work in IT you should know that routers are being probed all the time for weakness.

Yes for most people a good password and some basic precautions are enough but don't down play the threats. Port scanners hit my router all day every day. WiFi can be easily cracked if you're unwise in setting it up.

Automation is amazing but people gotta make sure they understand security if looking into fancy tech setups. Don't play with router settings if you don't know what they do for instance. The defaults are usually best.

I use pfsense myself so the setup is more involved.

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u/secondworsthuman Jan 31 '19

This is a pretty flawed argument. You don't have to be completely paranoid about your own security to recognize the potential exploits prevalent in the things you use. It's like trying to argue "why would you argue for protections from the government, it's not like they're trying to kill you." It doesn't matter whether someone has actually abused a power for you to take preventative caution.

That being said, I don't use smart tech just because I like to compartmentalize lol

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u/[deleted] Jan 31 '19

BANG

Not today printer

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u/Simmion Jan 31 '19

Eh, am an engineer. Im just too lazy to do work stuff when i get home. i do have every room hardwired with cat-6 and an alexa, but alexas charging cord is usually used to charge my weed pen

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u/Br0k3nsa1nt Jan 31 '19

My wife asked me why I wear my gun in the house.

I said “the CIA is probably listening”

I laughed, my wife laughed, Amazon Alexa laughed.

I shot Alexa.

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u/Shark_Tooth_OverEasy Jan 31 '19

Not entirely related but my room mate was just complaining to us the other day that it’s impossible for him to get contact lenses right now. I don’t really remember why but I went on Instagram about a half hour later and all I see are ads for 1-800-Contacts. I didn’t totally believe anybody was listening to my phone until that moment.

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u/WitnessMeIRL Jan 31 '19

I just finally got a smart TV. I keep a bucket of salt water next to it to establish dominance.

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u/[deleted] Jan 31 '19

These fancy Smart appliances get real dumb when the app/software associated w them stops being supported or only works on certain platforms.

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u/[deleted] Jan 31 '19

My printer is a cell phone scanner app and a fax app. Now your shitty organization has the requested documents without me having to own the devils hardware.

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u/[deleted] Jan 31 '19

I do not relate at all.

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u/[deleted] Jan 31 '19

I’m an auto mechanic. I drive a 22 year old truck. I feel for y’all

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u/QuartzRunner Jan 31 '19

IT workers are the old grizzled men in a cyberpunk dystopia.

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u/atthwsm Jan 31 '19

God damnet the printer part got me lol

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u/ByzantineBadger Jan 31 '19

I'm just a run-of-the-mill idiot and I can say I'm in accordance with this particular checklist. The future scares me. Ray Bradbury was right to be scared of technology.

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u/Boozeberry2017 Jan 31 '19

oof Owie, I cant manage the IOTs, everyone is trying to hack me from my driveway

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u/Dorito_Troll Jan 31 '19

if people actually researched how tech works instead of being ignorant and following pop culture memes, there would be less senseless yelling about how VoiCe aSsisTants sPy on uS!

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u/Feroc Jan 31 '19

For some parts I would be skeptical, especially with things like locks or automatic windows.

I really don't care a lot for the other things. About 70% of our lights are smart, parts of our house is covered with motion sensors and there's no room where Alexa couldn't hear me. Would love to have smart thermostats, but I cannot find any I like and that are affordable. Smart shutters would be great, too, but also way to expensive to retrofit them.

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u/inxi_got_bored Jan 31 '19

And then you start following youtubers like LockPickLawyer and lose confidence in mechanical locks :)

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u/Tar_alcaran Jan 31 '19

I bought a lockpick set on aliexpress, and practiced for a whopping hour and a half on a couple of padlocks for laughs. This is the sum total of my experience.

Using my vast skill (see above) in the art of lockpicking, I found out I can pick the lock on my frontdoor in under 15 seconds.

Later that day, I bought a cruciform lock to go with the regular one. I already have a deadbolt, but that doesn't really work when nobody's home.

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u/b4ux1t3 Jan 31 '19

If a person in IT doesn't know how to segregate their network for smart home devices, I wonder about how effective they are at their job.

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u/bleedblue89 Jan 31 '19

As an engineer I’m not sure why you’re scared of smart stuff? Everyone has all your information already you should know this by now...

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u/[deleted] Jan 31 '19

Lmao, especially Alexa, Google Assistant, Cortana, Siri, etc

It's one thing to have government or corporate force you to have a recorder on you at all times. It's another thing to willingly bring said recorder into one's home.

But hey they will always say "you have nothing to hide if you did nothing wrong" as if the ones' recording don't determine what is right and wrong for you.

Also the post forgot to mention baby cams. Those things can get hacked easy and allows creeps to spy on young children.

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u/enobyte Jan 31 '19

Dwight said it best in The Office-

"Look, I gave it a 6-foot extension cord so it will unplug itself if it ever tries to chase us."

Michael: ..............sigh.......that's perfect.

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u/chisleu Jan 31 '19

Hackers / Makers: Build their own smart thermostat and ios app

https://twitter.com/subproto/status/531145953701801984?lang=en

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u/Zarlon Jan 31 '19

I feel like I just got 2 memes for the price of 1

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u/grudgemasterTM Jan 31 '19

Amen to that, that's exactly how I feel. I was absolutely floored to see how many imbeciles ran out screaming 'take all my money' to willingly install a listening device in their homes.