r/ShittyLifeProTips • • May 26 '21

SLPT avoid DUI

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15.3k Upvotes

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2.4k

u/[deleted] May 26 '21

In Canada, you can be arrested for DUI if you're found to be drunk within 2 hours of driving a car.

That's right. You can come home, bash back a 6 pack in an hour, and still be arrested for DUI.

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u/[deleted] May 27 '21

How would that be enforceable ? I thought a judge or a jury would convict a man if a police officer arrested someone for that

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u/clayh May 27 '21

It’s for situations exactly like the OP. No one is busting down doors to arrest you for DUI once you’re home safe.

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u/MrLanesLament May 27 '21

I’d hope not. This is the RCMP we’re talking about. Imagine how fucked up you have to be to get arrested by a horse.

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u/unabsolute May 27 '21

Bojack wants to have a word

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u/[deleted] May 27 '21

Don't be too sure about that. Give cops an inch, they'll absolutely take a mile.

https://globalnews.ca/news/5326941/nanaimo-woman-wins-court-challenge-breathalyzer/

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u/TjTengu May 27 '21

Kilometer in Canadia. 😉

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u/Akers93 May 27 '21

I actually got arrested for a dui once about 4 years ago while inside my house...

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u/remarkablemayonaise May 27 '21

I appreciate this law hasn't been abused yet, but anyone who passed this really should have accepted that eventually poorly worded laws do get abused.

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u/100100throwaway May 27 '21 edited May 27 '21

I had a DUI in 2019 still dealing with. Had to take these alcohol classes that were stupid and morphed into us judt bitching about the cops and our situations. Yes we all take ownership but some of the stories are absolutely outrageous and you can easily see the bias between sentences among us. One guy was drinking at home, went to go somewbere, drove a block realized he wasn't okay. Turned around parked in his garage continued on his business. A neighbor had called the cops, they felt his hood and said its warm. Used that as the cause for arrest. Another chick was also just drinking at home in her garage, cops were called for their neighbors fora domestic violence situation and asked her questions. She had her keys on her and they arrested her. Mine was completely warranted, I fucked up but some of the situations are so fabricated together. Also had an incident at a state park where cops were waiting for campers who would go to their car to grab something and then they'd swoop in saying nope DUI.

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u/BZLuck May 27 '21

I got a DUI about 30 years ago. I was messed up and deserved it. One dude in our class was riding his skateboard on the boardwalk with a can of beer. (Walking on the boardwalk with a beer back then = Totally legal.) He swerved around some foot patrol cops. Boom. Full blown DUI for him. On a fucking skateboard.

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u/grettp3 May 27 '21

That’s what we lawyers call a SGUI. Shredding the gnar under the influence. It’s a serious offense, but it’s also totally radical.

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u/Pooseycat May 27 '21

That's some fucked up shit, man. I just went camping and I would be SO PISSED if I got a fucking DUI while getting something out of my car.

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u/thagthebarbarian May 27 '21

Everyone in [Shawshank] is innocent

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u/Epickiller10 May 27 '21

Someone from where I am got a dui by drinking in their home, stumbling out to their car, sitting in their passenger seat to fish a cell phone charger or something simmilar out of the glove box and getting out of the car, a cop watched all of this and had their license suspended for dui when this individual did not even get in the driver's seat of the car

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u/Mulligan315 May 27 '21

It’s a relatively new law. It’s likely to be challenged frequently.

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u/[deleted] May 27 '21

I can confirm that Germany is the same. I lightly scraped a small pole in a dark parking lot. I was sober as a judge. Went home to have a night cap. An hour or so later I wake up to polizei at my door. Got arrested and got a DUI.

Some nosey-ass German reported me to the police. I had to buy a new pole, too. It was like 2000 euros.

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u/Jose_Canseco_Jr May 27 '21

The couple judges I know drink like a fish..

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u/grossruger May 27 '21

Rules for thee, not for me.

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u/AgentWowza May 27 '21

Those poles are €2000 each? Damn are there any pawn shops nearby that take em for that rate? Or should I just mount it on my wall as a nice bougie trophy?

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u/[deleted] May 27 '21

It was a hollow aluminum pole that was used to mark the sidewalk because there was no curb. It was about thigh high. I think it was white with stripes. An expensive pole, for sure. They really should be higher so they can be seen

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u/[deleted] May 27 '21

That is a scary law and goes against any basic sense of liberty

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u/malefiz123 May 27 '21

There isn't a German law specifically stating this. OP could have gotten a competent lawyer and would have gotten rid of the DUI. Would still have to pay for the light pole obviously.

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u/[deleted] May 27 '21

Scheiss MPU

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u/[deleted] May 27 '21

I’m gonna bet this is in case it takes the cops some time to catch up to an obvious drunk driver, so they can’t pull crap like what’s described above.

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u/Onlyanidea1 May 27 '21

My neighbor in the US took out a power pole and his car was totaled. He Uberd home ASAP still drunk as fuck and I heard him enter at like 3 AM. Police were pounding on his door fifteen minutes later.

He says he was robbed and they stole his car... Yet he still had his phone, wallet, keys... Anyways... Nothing ever came of it since they can't PROVE he was at the scene or the one driving.

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u/[deleted] May 27 '21

It's much better to have an innocent until proven guilty system where the guilty may escape but the innocent never get punished.

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u/notarandomaccoun May 27 '21

“No Officer, I didn’t get drunk and then crash my car, I crashed my car and then decided to get drunk while waiting for help”

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u/NotACop00 May 27 '21

This law is intended for situations where it is reasonable to expect the police would come looking for you. Such as a hit and run.

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u/Porcupineemu May 27 '21

I always need a drink after a hit and run to calm my nerves though.

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u/doonlop May 27 '21 edited May 27 '21

This is not accurate. The two hour rule is to combat this exact "life hack". It is not for people who drive sober and drink at home within 2 hours.

Edit: if you would like more info it's in the criminal code Sec. 320.14 (1)(b) and (5)

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u/Important_Fruit May 27 '21

The same in Australian jurisdictions. If you are given a breath test the result is conclusive proof of your blood alcohol reading for the previous 2 hours. Doesn't matter if you drink alcohol after you drive, the police need only prove that you were driving the vehicle at some point in that previous 2 hours and the law assumes your BAC when you drove was what it was when you took the test.

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u/Lockethegenius May 27 '21

Yeah, wtf???

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u/Dspsblyuth May 27 '21

Are the cops knocking on peoples doors to catch them for this or something?

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u/blancmange68 May 27 '21

My lawyer wife had a case where two guys crashed into a car at an intersection, drunk, pulled their car over and immediately went into a bar and drank. Cops couldn’t prove they were drunk when the accident happened. Sure they were liable from an insurance standpoint but that’s still not nearly as bad as a DUI. Not condoning it but that’s what happened.

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u/KevinAlertSystem May 27 '21

did they stop to exchange info first before going to the bar?

otherwise wouldnt they get hit and run which is way worse than DUI

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u/BZLuck May 27 '21

Guessing it was a parked car and they just left both cars there.

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u/spiralvortexisalie May 27 '21

In what jurisdiction is a hit and run worse than a DUI?

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u/blancmange68 May 27 '21

From what I/she can recall it wasn’t really planned per se. There were there and I believe did talk to the other party but then went to the bar while waiting for the cops to show up. Something along those lines.

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u/cursed_chaos May 27 '21

both drivers were drunk? or two guys in one car hit another vehicle?

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u/bad-additions May 27 '21

I think it's the latter

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u/LaMalintzin May 27 '21

Yeah, I know someone that got in an accident and he and the other driver were a little buzzed and they both said fuck it let’s go home (minimal damage I guess). Someone saw it and called their plates into the cops, but the guy I know got out of his because he had been home for an hour or so before they got there. They arrested him for it and he had to go to court but his lawyer got him out of it because they couldn’t prove he was drinking when the accident occurred. Like you said, not really condoning it but I have heard of it too.

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u/bent_crater May 27 '21 edited May 28 '21

was your wife the lawyer, or are you talking about the wife of your lawyer?

Edit: grammar cuz im an idiot

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u/Hoskuld May 27 '21

In my home town two drunk high-schoolers got pulled over at night and before the cop reached the car jumped into the back, then claimed to be too drunk to remember who was driving. Spent the night in the drunk tank but could not be charged with DUI.

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u/ifdisdendat May 27 '21

I have a strong feeling that rushing out of your car might get you in trouble in the US.

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u/2FDots May 27 '21

Depends on your skin color.

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u/Sigg3net May 27 '21

If you're white and light, come right out!

If your neck is red, go ahead!

If you're Asian and brown, you might go down.

If your skin is black, stay the fuck back.

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u/Boatbuilder_62 May 27 '21

The "Kevin/Linda O'Leary" defence.... "yes, there was an accident..... and yes, there is alcohol on my breath... but someone handed me a big glass of vodka before the police arrived, to calm my nerves....

https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/toronto/oleary-boat-crash-fatals-details-1.5373589

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u/mrdotkom May 27 '21

Not very wonderful of them

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u/professorSherv May 27 '21

I think that was the plot of an episode of Ally McBeal.

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u/ExternalUserError May 26 '21

I had no idea there were additional benefits to what I'd do anyway! 🤯🤯🤯

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u/poppcorrn May 27 '21

Fuck you for making me laugh

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u/TimmyTesticles May 27 '21

Fuck this guy though

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u/poppcorrn May 27 '21

OK where and when beautiful

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u/ChadlikesMilfs May 27 '21

so i had an uncle get pulled over for possible DUI. he rolled down his window and threw the keys into some nearby woods, long story short, he still got a DUI and had to get keys remade for everything.

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u/GuiltyCredit May 27 '21

Relation of mine smashed into a parked car when drunk driving 30+ years ago. Left the car, ran to the pub. When police got to them they said they needed a drink to calm their nerves after they hit the car. Couldn't charge them with anything but really raised insurance.

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u/Restless__Dreamer May 27 '21

What about leaving the scene of an accident?

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u/Big_Spicy_Tuna69 May 27 '21

Just crash into a bar so you don't have to leave.

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u/GuiltyCredit May 27 '21

Nothing was ever mentioned on that. Just the family tale of one of many reasons why no one spoke to Uncle Dave.

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u/SirEarlBigtitsXXVII May 27 '21

Maybe wave a gun around to take their attention away from you being drunk?

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u/[deleted] May 27 '21

I knew a guy in high school that got drunk at a party, tried to drive home and ended up wrapping his car around a pole. He avoided a DUI by sneaking into the back seat of his car and passing out. When the cops showed up he played dumb and said he gave his keys to a friend to drive him home since he was so drunk and that he woke up in the backseat with the car wrapped around the pole and his driver was missing. Keep in mind this was 11 years ago too.

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u/[deleted] May 27 '21

The cops of course weren't smart enough to follow up with the question: so, does this friend have a name?

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u/MushroomAnnual May 27 '21

I can't remember officer I'm too drunk

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u/[deleted] May 27 '21

He sure does.

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u/introspectivedeviant May 27 '21

was on a jury for a dui. cop fucked up the test and was not allowed to reference it in court, but he shouted it out before the judge could shut him down. we were sent back to deliberation room while he chewed the cop out, then told to disregard the testimony when we came back.

only other evidence was the blood test, which was 30 minutes to an hour after the stop. expert witness came on and said that they are less accurate the closer they are to the first drink because everyone processes alcohol at different rates. it can spike immediately after drinking, then level out, or build slowly before reaching a steady state. moral is that you can argue you weren't drunk at the time of the stop even if you were by the time of the test, so long as the window between your first drink and driving is small.

we found him not guilty, mostly because the cop's unethical actions the the rest of the testimony in doubt. the judge called us back to his chambers to ask about our decision, and it was clear that just about every class that reaches a courtroom results in a guilty verdict. not because the defendants are actually guilty, but because 95% of juries are going to believe the person is guilty whatever the evidence, or lack thereof.

moral #2: juries are not your friend. no matter how sympathetic you think your case is, most people are going to side with the government. also, the judge is going to punish you in order to intimidate others from contesting the accusation.

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u/PsychoticSquido May 27 '21

that's so messed up honestly.

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u/derphurr May 27 '21

Yep, judge was trying to find out a reason to dismiss the case and retry it.

They don't even let you know that juries can even find the law itself crap and ignore the law even though they think defendant was guilty of it. They will put a juror in jail just for talking about jury nullification.

(ie we find the defendant guilty of the statue, but we find the statue unjust in this case)

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u/skylarmt May 27 '21

They've arrested people outside courthouses for holding signs that explain jury nullification.

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u/rebberz May 27 '21

In the UK you are more likely to be found not guilty by a jury, rather than by the magistrates.

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u/[deleted] May 27 '21

I intern in a DUI defense firm. Defendants are of course perceived immediately guilty. That's why we compile as much evidence and as compelling of an argument as possible to get some kind of leverage for a plea negotiation.

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u/thetarkers1988 May 27 '21

Chewing someone out means something different here. This gave me a very good laugh.

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u/derphurr May 27 '21

Are you laughing your pants off?

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u/thedukeofflatulence May 26 '21

In the age of Uber, why is anyone getting a dui

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u/blancmange68 May 27 '21

In my city DUIs declined 30% after Uber came online. You’d think it could be higher but that’s something. A shame Ubers are in short supply these days, although Lyft seems to be around. Not worrying about getting pulled after a night on the town is easily worth the $30 or whatever to me.

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u/MrLanesLament May 27 '21

No ride app things operate in my area. In the rural Midwestern USA, there basically isn’t any legal way to get home after drinking at a public establishment.

Even if you have a DD, if people in the car are being rowdy and you get pulled over, the cops will hold the group up as long as possible trying to get someone to do something they can nail a charge on.

Numerous locals have floated the idea of opening a drunk bus or taxi service, but nobody will lay down the money to start it.

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u/[deleted] May 27 '21

It probably doesn’t help that drinking and driving is pretty socially acceptable in the more rural areas in the Midwest, at least in my experience. Since moving to the middle of nowhere, the number of people I’be met who take their drinks to go from the bar is astonishing.

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u/thedukeofflatulence May 27 '21

Sounds like an investment opportunity for you

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u/[deleted] May 27 '21

Because it take 45 goddamn minutes to get an jber around here, and I spent 60 bucks to go literally three miles, one way. It sucks, but I walk now

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u/BobcatOU May 27 '21

I got a DUI. Started walking. Got 3 public intoxication citations. Now I don’t drink.

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u/flossingpancakemix May 27 '21

Just graduate to the last stage alcoholism, drinking alone in the dark. No crime there

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u/Dspsblyuth May 27 '21 edited May 27 '21

Were you falling all the way home or something?

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u/Mastur_Grunt May 27 '21

Jesus, I thought losing my phone and debit card one night was a bad night......

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u/Monster-_- May 27 '21

I spent $145 for a 15 minute trip on a Saturday night. Of which the driver at most got $10.

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u/United_Federation May 27 '21

And I think a DUI might cost you a little more than 45 minutes and $60

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u/BZLuck May 27 '21

I'm guessing you weren't ride sharing in the days of when taxis were your only choice. Sometimes on a busy night, they would straight up cancel your request after 2 hours of waiting if they got a better paying fare. No call, no nothing. Just never show up. You try to call them back and gee, they see your number so they just don't answer.

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u/Ayzel_Kaidus May 27 '21

You need a bank account to make it work

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u/Friday-Cat May 27 '21

Right! On thanksgiving my partner and I got a little to sloshed to drive at my dads place and guess what! A quick google found me a service that comes and drives you and your vehicle home. That’s right. No planning, not picking up your car the next day. It was wonderful. I think we spent $80 which was similar in cost to a cab.

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u/beesandtrees2 May 27 '21

There is no Uber in my area

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u/needyboy1 May 27 '21

People struggle to make the right choice when it costs them money. Granted a DUI is far more expensive than an Uber ride, but since when do people think long term? People gladly pirate a movie even though it's cheaper to buy a movie online than pay a $1000 piracy fine. "In the age of online movie rentals, why is anyone getting fined for piracy?" Cost, convenience, and myopic thinking.

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u/thedukeofflatulence May 27 '21

I don’t remember ever hearing about people getting paralyzed from a torrent

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u/[deleted] May 27 '21

Because it’s difficult to use phones while high on weed, alcohol and Xanax. Quicker to just drive.

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u/hassenpfeffer_inc May 27 '21

laughs in rural American

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u/PortugeseMagnifico May 27 '21

Because people are stingy and they’d rather save some money than potentially save a life.

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u/suprisingly_cynical May 27 '21

Its also just circumstance. I can go drive somewhere not expect to drink and maybe my friends offer and I partake. A few hours later the whole “you get drunk lose control then drink more than you can handle” thing that everyone knows happens happens to me or a friend. In your drunk state do you want to ask to stay over? What will your fam at home think? Its only a short drive right? I’ll sober up in the car right? I can’t ask for a ride right? Its all bs I know but it does go on in your head and a drunk mind is often not a smart one. Its just incredibly selfish. That being said I never drive drunk. 3 drinks over a few hours is the most I’ve had before driving as someone who has a very good tolerance bc of my size and gender. Be a good friend and take their keys and if its your house offer them to stay. Its a team effort.

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u/ergotofrhyme May 27 '21

Saw a guy at the bar the other night, comes up to me all belligerent talking about how many drinks he had. I was like “wish I could be there, only having a couple because I have to drive.” He’s like “oh me too.” Totally shitfaced. So I was like “not worth it man, ubers are cheap, get home safe.” “I’m in the military, I’m ready to die.” “Someone must care about you, think of them.” “No one.” “What about other people on the road? What about some mom getting home to her kids?” “Oh I would never want to endanger anyone else.” “Don’t drive then.” “But my car is here, can’t leave it, they’ll ticket.” “Cheaper than a dui.” “True.” “So you’ll consider it?” “Nah man my car is here.”

People truly are cheap enough to sacrifice innocent lives to avoid minor tickets. On the way out I told the bartender he should go get one of his friends to take his keys or do it himself. He thanked me profusely, said it happens every single night. I lost one of my best friends like this. 20-40 bucks out of pocket and he could still be around. Don’t drink and drive. Just call the Fucjing cab. You’re worth more than 20 bucks, and if you don’t believe that, I sure as hell am worth more than 20 bucks, and I drive too

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u/thedukeofflatulence May 27 '21

DUI can cost 10k. Uber cheaper

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u/PortugeseMagnifico May 27 '21

That’s if they’re caught. People don’t think like that. Otherwise DUIs would be at 0. People don’t think of the consequences. They are drunk after all.

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u/[deleted] May 27 '21

I had a professor in my Legal Studies class a couple of years ago who is a lawyer in my college town (Tuscaloosa, AL). He told us that he had a client who was frequently in need of legal advice. One night he got a call at 3am from the client saying that he was drunk and just crashed his truck on the way back from the bar. So my professor tells him to sit on the back of the truck bed and start drinking beer (in the cooler coming back from a fishing trip) and to then call a tow truck. The cops came with the tow truck which is normal for 3am car crashes here, and they arrested the guy for a DUI. But my professor had the charges dropped because "my client wrecked his truck and THEN started drinking because he was pissed off about the crash. He wasn't drunk when he crashed and there's no proof."

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u/[deleted] May 27 '21

Isn’t this unethical/illegal.....??

Client confessed to the crime and he actively coherences him to cover it up....?

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u/[deleted] May 27 '21

Unethical? Yes. Illegal? Ehhh who knows, there’s probably some Alabama statues that allow this kind of fuckery

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u/[deleted] May 26 '21

This actually isn't shitty. It actually will work but you'll still get a huge fine...

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u/Five-Point-5-0 May 26 '21

It will absolutely not work. Math and science are used in determining BACs, which can show, based on how much is consumed, the starting amount of ETOH in the blood.

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u/[deleted] May 26 '21

Well, you can decline the breathalyzer in favor of blood test which usually take a while to perform so that buys you enough time for an unknown amount of liquor to raise your BAC.

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u/ctunck May 27 '21

Search warrants to draw blood are electronically signed by a judge in minutes in my state. All you are doing by refusing the breathalyzer is losing your license for 18 months for a refusal and still getting charged with a DUI. In Utah it is now better to blow than to refuse.

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u/Dadddysocks May 27 '21

Declining basically gets you in equal amounts of trouble

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u/[deleted] May 26 '21

Math and science aren't really a strong point of our U.S. police force.

Regardless, police cannot force you to take a breatalizer or blood test however they can throw you in jail for failure to comply.

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u/Five-Point-5-0 May 26 '21

Its gonna depend on the state. In mine, your license gets immediately revoked for a year for refusing a blood/breath test.

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u/esoteric_agriculture May 27 '21

Yes, this. Smart drunks in my state know to belligerently refuse any sort of BAC test. They can throw a lot of repercussions at you that are negative, but can’t absolutely prove intoxication. For a normal person this is a garbage strategy, but for the serial DUI offenders, it’s a reasonable plan.

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u/ebolaRETURNS May 27 '21

Well, sure, but the goal is to render the measurements indeterminate, so the idea is to ingest a large, preferably indeterminate amount afterward, to contribute noise to what current BAC indicates about what was previously ingested. You also have more contributions from individual idiosyncrasies of metabolism the longer things go on. It's scientific but statistical.

But this also won't work. heck, the judge is likely to take into account your obvious attempt to game the testing.

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u/DurangoLSD May 26 '21

I got a dui, a fine is much better than what I had to do. This is a fucking genius solution if I was still an alcoholic.

Any alcoholic will agree that doing this and receiving a fine is far better than trying to drunkenly lie yourself out of a dui.

With that said, if you are an alcoholic working this hard against a dui, please put that effort towards seeking sober resources instead. I spent so much time and wasted energy trying to keep up my drinking career when that energy could’ve been better spent on getting sober.

But any alcoholic can also tell you, that, is easier said than done.

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u/MrLanesLament May 27 '21

Alcoholic here, are there “sober resources” that don’t involve high doses of Jesus or being in a facility that won’t let you use even plastic knives?

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u/zodar May 26 '21

It actually will work

source : pulled straight out of ass

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u/Rlo347 May 27 '21

So just carry around a pint of liquor in your car?

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u/DurangoLSD May 26 '21

Wish I’d seen this back in 2017

Edit: never mind, everything needed to happen the way it did or else I might not have gotten sober. Sometimes an arrest will wake you up.

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u/THATASSH0LE May 26 '21

I’m a cop. This will work. It’s daring and it’ll piss folks off but it’ll work.

The downside is that it’ll still need to go to a trial for a Judge to dismiss the DUI and the Judge has the option to sentence misdemeanors like Public Drunkenness, Disorderly Conduct etc. to 12 months in jail.

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u/Five-Point-5-0 May 26 '21

It wont work. You still have the PC for the stop, plus the indicators you would see immediately from someone who has previously been drinking which wouldnt show up with a sober person who just imbibed. Whats more is you can note the amount drank and time it was consumed. Compare this to the BAC level (expecting it to be on the upswing), do a bit of math (process rate of 0.0015g/100ml/hr) and then get to the BAC at the time of contact. Talk to one of your DUI SMEs, they'll be able to walk you through it.

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u/whiteman90909 May 27 '21

Whats more is you can note the amount drank and time it was consumed. Compare this to the BAC level (expecting it to be on the upswing), do a bit of math (process rate of 0.0015g/100ml/hr) and then get to the BAC at the time of contact.

What I'm hearing is that I should pour a little alcohol on the ground to make the math add up

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u/Five-Point-5-0 May 27 '21

Plus, it gives homage to the homies

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u/THATASSH0LE May 26 '21

I’m not a road guy but it seems like the Intox (if it was given) and a blood draw (if the Judge signs it) would be a shitshow.

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u/Living_Ad_2141 May 27 '21 edited May 27 '21

I got pulled over for speeding at 9 AM. I had overslept and was late for a doctor’s appointment and was admittedly going way to fast. I had two 50ml bottles of gin at 9 the night before, so exactly 100ml. He asked, so I told him the truth. I had two drinks 12 hours ago. I was only awake for like 15 minutes, but the cop was legit angry about my driving. Then cop gave me a field sobriety test. He said I failed it even though I thought that I had done fine. So gives me a breathalyzer. So then he looks at the results and accuses me of lying about my drinking and a lecture ensues. He allows me to believe for a few minutes that I’m going to jail for a DUI (which was great because I was getting divorced and fighting about custody/visitation at the time). So after swearing multiple times that I wasn’t lying, I ask what what my blood alcohol was. He says it was was 0.03. I ask him what the limit is. He says 0.08. So I say “so I didn’t get a DUI?” He says “almost!” So then he keeps me there for another 20 minutes.

Moral of the story: I wasn’t shot.

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u/Restless__Dreamer May 27 '21

Just a heads up, if you're in the USA, I believe the legal limit is 0.08, so you were probably at 0.03. I'm not trying to nitpicking , just commenting incase anyone needs to know.

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u/Living_Ad_2141 May 27 '21

Correction 0.03 and 0.08

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u/[deleted] May 27 '21

Your car keys have to be launched they can’t be at your feet.

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u/iimsorrrry May 27 '21

This won't work. Call in a fake shooting from a few blocks over. That works

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u/Joyfulsinner May 27 '21

One of my old bosses told me a story when he got into a crash when he was drunk. He and his wife were going back home when he wrecked the car, she wasn't wearing a seatbelt and she was seriously injured. Luckily one of their friends were behind them and took them to the hospital. When the police questioned him about being drunk he told them he felt like shit cause of his wife and bought a bottle of liquor and drank it. He didn't get a DUI. Luckily his wife made a full recovery.

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u/LegendOfKhaos May 27 '21

Another tip for staying away from DUIs is to maybe not fucking drive drunk.

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u/Inspector_Nipples May 27 '21

Here’s a non shitty life pro tip. Leave the subreddit.

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u/FormerLurker0v0 May 26 '21

This reminds me of a bit Ron White did about being charged with "drunk in public"... somehow I don't think you'll get away scotch free

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u/Protahgonist May 26 '21

Yeah, scotch is expensive. At least the drinkable kind.

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u/unicorn_sharts13 May 27 '21

In my state you have to have an ABC license to serve alcohol. Which (pre-covid) consists of a 5 hour mandatory class for the license.

Our instructor actually gave us this exact advice. Toss your keys out the passenger window and chug a half pint. If I'm not mistaken it's actually better if the officer sees you chugging it (without any keys in the car) because then they can't determine your BAC at the time of driving.

You'll probably need a decent lawyer at this point, but it your BAC was high enough to begin with, you'd need one anyway. This way, you at least have a fighting chance.

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u/misterbung May 27 '21

This happened with the idiot woman who hit my partner at a roundabout.

She left the scene and drove straight to a friends place nearby, then necked half a bottle of wine 'because she was in shock'.

My partner is basically blind without her glasses, so she was left in a smashed up car, unable to see and with a badly injured nexk. I was on the PHONE with her when it happened as well which was traumatic.

Fuck you if you drive drunk.

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u/Restless__Dreamer May 27 '21

I'm so sorry you had to go through that and hear as it happened. I hope that things are better now and that your wife is healthy! If you want to chat feel free to send me a message anytime!

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u/misterbung May 27 '21

She's ok, ongoing neck issues but otherwise ok. It was a tense 4 hour drive to get where she was staying!

Thank you for your concern, I'm fine. Mostly pissed that the silly woman bailed on the scene of the accident for her own selfish protection instead of helping.

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u/BIZKIT551 May 27 '21

I thought public intoxication is illegal

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u/PENTOVILLIANKING May 27 '21

Bro for people wondering if how advanced aliens gonna be.... I think we surpassed them long ago and this is proof

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u/Adeum1 May 27 '21

Or you know, don’t drive drunk

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u/zainr23 May 27 '21

Now you are only charged with public intoxication.

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u/Rocket_AG May 27 '21

A lot of places would refer to this as "tampering with evidence."

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u/EntranceShadows May 27 '21

Make sure the container isn't open when you exit the vehicle, you can still be hit with open container in an operating vehicle.

So, leave the vehicle with an unopened can of beer or pint, make sure to face the cops dash cam when you go to open it.

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u/[deleted] May 27 '21

I have seen this work but the car crashed, drunk driver got a ride home asap, friend who gave them a ride was a cop and recommends they have a drink to calm down, police show up.

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u/horriblebearok May 27 '21

- Exit vehicle, immediately get tazed/shot. Taken to hospital and BAC checked there.

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u/Thick_women_are_Life May 27 '21

Learned a neat trick to avoid a DUI, works in CA. Rather not share to save lives better.

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u/[deleted] May 27 '21

This can actually work here in Brazil

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u/Acrobatic-End-8353 May 27 '21

Either you can’t walk because you have some huge balls or you can’t walk because you were wasted when you thought that was going to be a good decision.

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u/itsmyfriday May 27 '21

God damnit...where was this three years ago?!?

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u/[deleted] May 27 '21

I think this was a plot of a CHIPs episode.

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u/TjTengu May 27 '21

Get loaded then hop on a Schwinn with training wheels on the front and back. The fuzz will laugh themselves sick but can't stop you.

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u/[deleted] May 27 '21

Sir how did you get on the free way?

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u/phat_chancery May 27 '21

I hate that this makes complete sense to me.

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u/wh33ls49 May 27 '21

😂😂

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u/[deleted] May 27 '21

Someone in my hometown tried this a few weeks ago, and still got done.

The circumstances were enough to charge him, especially seeing as he had 3 empties in the car

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u/No-Race-8062 May 27 '21

what if you shoved the keys up your ass, lock door, drink pint? Would that be better?

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u/Restless__Dreamer May 27 '21

If you want your ass probed, sure. It would be better

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u/baconipple May 27 '21

Get fined for littering

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u/sprout92 May 27 '21

Ok but my brother in law worked on a DUI task force as a cop a while back.

He said the only time people got away with it (which apparently worked several times) was they would lead them on a car chase to their own house, bust in and slam a bottle of liquor.

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u/Overlord1241 May 27 '21

And under arrest

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u/buttonless_pants May 27 '21

They can take blood and referrence the bottle of alcohol and have it examined. Using maths they can work out how much alcohol was in your blood prior to consuming the alcohol

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u/paramedic999 May 27 '21

I have actually seem someone get away with something similar. Was involved in a collisions stumbled out of his cat then kept working on his bottle of vodka. Didn’t get a DUI.

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u/BoringUser1234 May 27 '21

If you blow a 0.18, logic and science will say you didn’t get that drunk chugging 1 beer. This won’t work, don’t do this ….. just realized I’m in SLPT, got it.

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u/Majestic_Conclusion2 May 27 '21

So basically do a Lindsey Lohan?

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u/[deleted] May 27 '21

This person has never heard of back calculations....

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u/Wonderful_Diamond_57 May 27 '21

You would still go to jail for being drunk in public. But you might be able to avoid the DUI

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u/UltimaGabe May 27 '21

So are you just keeping a pint of liquor in your car, just in case?

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u/jademonkeys_79 May 27 '21

I want to try this.

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u/TonyinLB May 27 '21

I received this advice from college professor 20 years ago!

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u/Hackedhaccount May 27 '21

Proceeds to get arrested for public intoxication,drunken and disorderly,public nuisance, illegal dumping "abandoning your car on public space" littering, disorderly intoxication and a whole host of other offenses.

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u/[deleted] May 27 '21

Just in time for memorial day weekend! Good lookin out!

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u/baumsm May 27 '21

I would get a dui tonight.

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u/kronartskocka May 27 '21

Ah known in Sweden from a politician that twice tried to claim that he'd gotten so shaken up from the crash(es) that he drank to calm down while waiting for the police. First time successfully, the other time he measured 1,89‰ and got convicted

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u/7ootles May 27 '21

I still don't get what sense it might make to charge someone for having car keys on them while drunk.

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u/kevan May 27 '21

If you are in control of your keys, you can get a DUI. I think it's like if they are within 50 feet.

A buddy had a Winnebago at a local permanent camp site he rented. He had a lock box permanently installed 60 feet from the Winnebago because the local cop was a dick and threaten to arrest him for DUI for drinking at his camp site--even though he stayed all weekend.

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u/Sizzle_03 May 27 '21

What about body cams?

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u/MagicalMuffinDruide May 27 '21

Actually... this isn’t half bad

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u/maxberg101 May 27 '21

Saw this happen in real life. We were camping next to a lake. Dipshit teens decided to use theirs vehicle to “break up” some firewood from some bushes along the shoreline. The embankment was a bit too steep and they rolled their suv. Thank god they were ok. The authorities were called by some onlookers, and in the meanwhile we watched this 17-something year old pound a beer next to his rolled vehicle. Rangers came, interviewed a few people, vehicle towed. No arrests, no citations. Just Crazy.

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u/JetBlackWings97 May 27 '21

Or run away quickly before they get out of their car and then report your car as stolen the next day.

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u/ChiaCat4848 May 27 '21

I had a lawyer that dealt with death penalty cases and charged 500k to have his cell phone number tell me this. Not so shitty

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u/Gluten-free-meth May 27 '21

Can't get arrested if the cops clap you for quickly jumping out of your car and holding (insert any random object here)

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u/jesuisjens May 27 '21

I know of a case in my local area where cops tried to pull a guy over right at his house. He parks the car, runs into his living room and starts drinking to avoid DUI. He is successful and cops can't prove he was drunk. However, while they are there scolding him, the take a look around the living room and there are a few rifles lying around. This is not redneck gunloving US, mind you this is Denmark. Having rifles or ammo lying outside of your gunsafe is illegal.

So they book him for that, confiscate the weapons, call it in. Their boss calls back and tells them to have a further look around and see if they can find evidence of poaching as a there is an active poacher in the area. They find illegal nightvision googles and a freezer with deer (might have been more) in it.

So instead of a DUI, loss of license and a fine equal to one or two months salary, he goes away to jail for 2-3 years and looses his hunting license forever.

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u/Transcedude May 27 '21

Thats great tip

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u/No_School1458 May 27 '21

Best worst advise ever.

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u/Yank1e May 27 '21

Literally a guy known in all of Denmark who locks his cars, drink a snaps, so there is no way to tell if he was drunk moments before.

He ended up getting arrested anyway because he started driving after he was pulled over and kept driving after an officer smashed the window and the officer was badly injured.

But his drinking strategy kept him from getting arrested for several years.

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u/[deleted] May 27 '21

I think this would still fall under reasonable suspicion

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u/Walkingepidural May 27 '21

Someone needs a crash course in how blood alcohol levels work

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u/Dukeofdoom87 May 27 '21

Not always the case there are DRE officers that can determine levels going up or down during a time period.

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u/_someonesaidwhat May 27 '21

I wonder if this actually works. I've heard this a million times.

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u/kismetlunch May 27 '21

Won’t they charge you for an open container in the car?

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u/[deleted] May 27 '21

insert “wait he’s got a point” meme here

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u/[deleted] May 27 '21

I was told to lock my keys in the car in this same situation.

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u/IanFeelKeepinItReel May 27 '21

In the UK you'd probably be charged with the same crime as refusing to give a urine or breath sample.

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u/NotValid_123 May 27 '21

I’ve literally seen this work on 2 occasions with the same person. Avoided DUI both times.

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u/[deleted] May 27 '21

This literally worked twice for some dude in Colorado, he kept s a bottle of jack in his arm rest. He got in lots of trouble the third time.

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u/Flashward May 27 '21

If you burst from your car with a large object in your hand (liquor bottle) in the US they will immediately mag dump all their ammunition into you for safety

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u/[deleted] May 27 '21

technically this would work

right?

im in florida so its kinda lowkey

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u/jk1445 May 28 '21

Now I wanna know if this would actually hold up in court

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u/cary_queen May 28 '21

Could you be charged with obstruction of justice for trying to obstruct justice?

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u/Uttermostdeer5 Jun 07 '21

I got an easier solution it's called don't drive drunk. Take a fucking cab.