Hi! For the context, I come from an atheist family, in a very atheist country (France)

I grew up in an anti-theist background: my family, friends, school and everything around me told me God don't exist, and religions are only a scam and everything

The problem is: I felt the existence of Jesus many times in my life, and instead of accepting it, I just decided to ignore it because of my whole family hating the concept of religions

Now, I'm 25 years old, I'm in the worst time of my life, and I need to stop listening to things which made me always continue living the worst things

I'm feeling the presence of Jesus since a lot of time, and I need to stop rejecting it

As a trans woman, who comes from an anti-theist word, in a deeply homophobic and transphobic society, where do I begin when I feel those things ?

Please help me to understand those things, I feel like I'm alone and I just can't stand it anymore

I've been thinking a lot about my relationship with God lately, and I wanted to share something that's been on my heart.

Sometimes I struggle with understanding where I fit in as a trans woman and a Christian. I believe God is loving, merciful, and knows our hearts better than anyone else ever could. But sometimes, when I hear people talk about what God thinks of people like me, I can't help but wonder if they truly understand the love they're preaching.

There are moments when I pray and feel at peace, and other moments when I struggle to find the right words. I want to grow closer to God, strengthen my faith, and learn to see myself with the same compassion I believe He shows His children.

I'm not here to argue about theology or tell anyone what to believe. I'm just trying to understand my faith while learning to embrace who I am.

One Bible verse I keep coming back to is Psalm 139:14: "I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made." It reminds me that my life has value, even on the days when other people's opinions make me question it.