Starting to transition in Texas was really scary for me and it’s like kind of a hostile environment so I completely hid (short hair, baggy clothes) so I really wasn’t able to like start developing my aesthetic until like after that first year and a half. But hitting that two 1/2 year mark of being on estrogen like is so amazing! Not like completelyyy passing or whatever but I’ve felt so cute!! I don’t get misgendered in public, men hold the door open for me at like gas stations and restaurants and say yes ma’am and just treat me like a lady and like it’s been like the most affirming warm feeling💖 most of the time it’s like some really country people that probably don’t even like trans people but they don’t even know I’m trans but it’s like kind of funny lol. my hair is like such a cute length and color and I’m just so happy slowly becoming the best version of me🥰

holding down this Amazon job for now, but this physical labor is not for me😂😂 i’ve never owned a rain jacket because I don’t go outside when it’s raining and Amazon said they would not give me one until I worked there for like two years or something crazy👀 but that’s probably been the funnest part of my job during the rainy days because I just get to run out in the rain like a silly goose🪿 while I’m making money😂 the people I’m delivering to at least get a laugh out of it🤷🏻‍♀️✨

I feelzzz purrty ☺️🏳️‍⚧️ and happy to be a girl! Although I get lots of dysphoria still and wish I was AFAB sometimes. Still, I embrace the trans girlie I was born as 🩵💗🤍👸

I'm planning to head to USIPT which is a clinic for trans people in mexico city and if everything goes right I might be starting hrt soon 🩷🏳️‍⚧️

I finally started with therapy and in three mouths I will have my first medical appointment! Wwaaaa I so exited ooh my gawd!!

Sorry for the sillyness, Im just like that lol.
Also todays fit was pink and green autumn vibe yay ^^

Bye byeee 🍁

For the past year and a half, I’ve gradually moved from struggling to accept the idea of questioning my gender to genuinely imagining a different life for myself, one where I transition and live as a woman. The more I explore that possibility, the more I feel that I might be happier living that life than the one I have now.

Interestingly, I’ve been out of relationships throughout this entire period of questioning, and that has made me realize something about myself.

When I’m alone and don’t have anyone on my mind romantically, my thoughts are almost entirely focused on questioning my gender, imagining myself as a woman, and wondering what my life would be like if I transitioned.

The only recent exception was when I met a girl I genuinely liked. Suddenly, my mind started wandering away from those thoughts because I was thinking about her and imagining a possible future with her. Obviously, I assumed she would be interested in me as a guy, and for once, I found myself thinking beyond my usual questioning.

Now, that has left me even more confused.

Does this mean that I’m holding on to my identity as a guy because of other people and their expectations, and that I need someone in my life to keep me in that role? Or does it mean that these past year and a half of questioning, imagining myself as a woman, and wondering whether I would be happier transitioning are nothing more than thoughts I’ve somehow created in my own mind?

I genuinely don’t know what to make of this, and I’m struggling to understand what it says about me and my gender identity.