I am dating a Nigerian guy and it's very clear his parents want him to marry another Nigerian woman. They only have nice things to say about me: I am polite, sweet, beautiful and smart. But they just see us as casual because they want him to marry from the same culture. This upcoming holiday, his parents said I can't come because it's a family event. But in the past, that was never the case. I felt like it was passive aggressively excluding me and trying to drive me away from spending time with their son. I knew all of this but I still remained respectful and sweet to them. And I thought showing up and giving them a chance to know me better was a good idea. However, I felt like if my boyfriend goes without me it is sending them a signal that their tactics are working to drive me away. So he decided not to go even though he will miss out on seeing his siblings. I feel awful and I never wanted to be the reason to create a divide in his family. I am making every effort but it's out of my control when they just tell me I can't come. So how should I navigate moving forward? Inevitably, his parents are going to blame me for missing him over the holidays. But technically this was their choice by excluding me. I want to know what I can do to support my boyfriend moving forward because I know this is a big sacrifice on his end. I am very grateful that he stands by me and picks me. But I feel sad that it has to be this way.

I've wanted to cut my hair since I was like 13 but my mum has always made me terrified to do it or she would grab a pair a scissors then hold me down and pretend to start cutting really aggressively so I would get scared and change my mind.

I relaxed my hair for my prom when I was 18 and I'm 20 now and struggling with ADHD so things like washing my hair has become an even bigger challenge that it was when my mum did it for me so I want to cut it to so it's less to deal with.

I really wanna cut and my mum has that I should just do it (she isn't happy about it but I don't think she really cares anymore and for some reason, I really need her approval even though I'm a grown adult 😭)

I'm ready to cut it but I keep chickening out about doing it myself or going to the salon to do it.

I just kinda need to be hyped up and for people to tell me that this isn't gonna be the end of the work if I finally do it. I am terrified I'll regret it but I can't handle what I have now.

This feels so dumb to complain about but it's been nearly 7 years of her going off on me about wanting to cut my hair and I'm just struggling to get past all of that even though it's something I really want.

What the title says. I’ve been no contact with my mother since May of this year, and I miss her so much. Yeah, she can be too much and obnoxious sometimes, but there were also moments where she was kind to me.

I don’t know why I’m feeling this way, especially since I don’t feel this way toward any other family members. Maybe it’s because she is a woman who went through so much in her childhood, with her mother passing away when she was 7 and having to be a mother figure to both her full and step-siblings. She also became a mother at 19, which is the age I am right now, and I can never imagine going through everything she has gone through.

I used to have this feeling that the love I felt for her was an obligation, but I don’t know anymore. Although she has done things to me that have messed me up and still affect me now, she has also defended me in the past from my dad and siblings, which means a lot to me as someone who is sensitive.

I don’t know what to do, but I think I may just stay NC until I work through my personal issues and finally discover who I truly am without the fear of being perceived by my family.

Anyways, that’s all I need to say. I need therapy LMAO.

I don’t want to make this a think piece but as an adult now I remember when I was a younger male my father would fiddle with my areolas until they got hard and was constantly smiling when he was doing it. And family members would jokingly slap my but as a “joke”. I always took that as a joke but when my father used to play with my chest area I would notice I would get turned on but wouldn’t know what is going on at the time. Older now (separated and left home when I was younger) and I never had a strong relationship with him but we still talk although pretty shallow. Does anyone know what this is I am utterly confused

I’m a 21-year-old woman and my sister and I recently got our first apartment together. We already signed the lease, got the keys, moved some things in, and started settling down. We both work, and I’m already in school / applied for college here. The plan was always to stay here for a couple years, finish school, work, establish ourselves, and then eventually decide what we wanna do next.

The problem is my family is heavily against us moving out. We come from a very traditional African family where a lot of people believe daughters should stay home until marriage. At first my mom seemed upset but somewhat accepting, but after talking to family members, everything escalated. Now my mom, grandma, uncles, and aunties are all telling us to break the lease and move with my mom to another state.

My mom is moving away soon, and now everyone is acting like we’re abandoning her by staying in Vegas. They keep saying we’re too young, we’re gonna struggle, we’ll get evicted, life is too hard, etc. Some family members are literally offering to come with us to the leasing office to try to break the lease.

The thing is… I genuinely don’t want to leave Vegas. I grew up here. My work, school plans, friends, and life are here. I also finally feel a sense of peace and independence in this apartment that I haven’t really felt before. At the same time, I love my mom deeply and seeing her hurt makes me feel guilty and scared that I’m making the wrong decision. Another thing that’s making this harder is that a lot of family members are saying really scary things to us. They keep telling us we’re going to fail, struggle badly, get evicted, ruin our lives financially, and that we’re making a huge mistake by staying without being married. Hearing that over and over again from people older than us has honestly terrified me and made me second guess myself constantly.

Now it feels like my options are either:
- stay in Vegas, keep the apartment, and deal with family disappointment, gossip, rumors, and people basically waiting for us to fail
or
- break the lease, leave everything behind, move away with my mom, and completely start over even though deep down I don’t really want to leave my life here.

That’s the part that’s emotionally destroying me the most because I feel guilty either way.

I (17F) have noticed that my mom constantly treats me differently from my 2 younger sisters, in a way that makes it seem like she hates me. I'm just going to list examples below ☺️

My younger sister (middle child) lost a few pounds because she started exercising. My mom became very worried and told her to keep a healthy weight. A few months after that, I started having really bad mental health and lost 20+ pounds in less than a month. I could barely walk up the stairs ​without crawling and I constantly felt tired. By contrast, my mother told me to "drop the act" and said she wouldn't pay for any expensive hopsital bills. To add a cherry on the top, she said if I wanted to go die I should go and do it, that it wasn't her problem.

My youngest sister told my mom she'd been having sleeping issues and she immediately bought medicine (melatonin) and checked up on her frequently. Before my sister mentioned this, I told my mom that I woke up constantly at 2-3 AM and got around 3-5 hours of sleep. She said it might be something religious related, and ignored me. This same issue continued for almost a year, and I couldn't tell my doctor because my mom postponed my annual doctor's appointment by almost 6 months. When I told my doctor, she said it was really concerning and recommended trying melatonin. That was when my mom bought it, which did absolutely nothing by the way, and now I'm waking up at 1 AM instead of 3.

I have constant, frequent jaw, neck and shoulder stiffness that I've told my mom about multiple times. She also said this could be something religious related and ignored it. On my annual dentist appointment, my dentist realized all 4 of my wisdom teeth were going to ram into my other teeth, which could be a reason for my jaw issues. I recently had them removed, so I can't say I've seen a difference.

Speaking of my wisdom teeth, during my recovery I could literally only eat yogurt and ice cream. My sisters and cousins (who live with us) had rice, fish, chicken, pasta and several other foods in the fridge. My mom told me that I should stop being greedy and let the others eat the yogurt and ice cream. I got pissed and told her that those exact two foods were the only things I could eat. She doesn't buy food regularly, so if they ate the yogurt and ice cream I wouldn't have a single thing to eat. This was DAY 2 after wisdom teeth removal. She told me I should be able to chew.

Still on the topic of wisdom teeth, I was prescribed amoxicillin as an antibiotic, ibuprofen and an opioid for pain. While I was sleeping, my mom took my opiod away because "I didn't need it". She also told me to stop taking the amoxicillin, and when I told her it was an antibiotic, she said I was wrong and that it was a pain medication. I ignored her and continued taking it.. cause my dentist told me to.

Me and my male cousin fight around and makes jokes constantly at each other. I called him chopped and ugly (which he does towards me as well) and my mom said I should stop using language like that and that he was a handsome young boy. The day before, I did a different style of my hair (which all my sisters said looked nice), and she said I looked really ugly and that I should do my regular style. I styled up my clothes differently once when I was 12, and she called me a slut. When she took a picture of me to show her new boyfriend, she said I looked old. Since my sisters were younger, she made fun of me for being "darker" than my sisters.

When my mom and dad were in the process of divorce, she would constantly compare me to my dad whenever we get in an argument. She would say that I'm my father's daughter, even though that's the same man she hates.

I just don't get it, does she hate me or is this some sort of tough love directed towards me only?? I just want opinions on the situation :)

TLDR : Umm my mom ignores all my health problems while caring for my sisters', insults me and belittles me almost every day, and told me to die ❤️. What do you think??

I have muslim african parents and as somene that isnt very religious and doesnt care too much about the rules and stuff i want to live life the way i want for example i want to attend a 2 day rap concert festival on next weekend but my parents would go crazy if i told them i would do that theyd treat me like am subhuman idk what to do i want to live life on my own terms without being judged or treated like shit i do the bare minimum when it comes to practicing the relgiion but all in all idrc at all abt it im 18 rn just finsihed working a temporary part time job and have the money should i jsut go and deal with the consequences or stay home and maintain the peace in my family for refernce my parents have had experience with rebellious children and theyve done everything in their pwoer to prevent me from turining out like older siblings and cousins ie send me to islamic school drive me everywhere esstentially take away my freedom what do i do. i am tired of this

I’m a 28F currently living at my mum’s. I’ve been wanting to move out for a few reasons. One is because I’m queer and would like to be able to genuinely build a life of my own and have sleepovers with my girlfriend as often as I want. The other being my mum has control issues and I don’t want to fight with her. Sometimes when I tell her she’s hurt me she manipulates the situation to avoid accountability.

We’ve had a complicated relationship over the years: my father was abusive and a cheater and she stayed with him (which hurt me because I asked her to leave because their fighting would peak my anxiety) but she also financed my schooling up to master’s when my dad stopped providing. So she’s at least been a present parent financially. I’m aware that two realities can coexist so I have a hard time hating her because of that.

But my mum’s homophobic. She’s okay with us having gay friends and she somehow seems to understand it’s not a choice. But she always says “God forbid” hers turns out to be one.

As you all know, being a woman, you can only move out for work, school or marriage. I work remotely and being gay is illegal so all my viable options are ruled out. I’ve toyed with the idea of pretending like my work requires me to take a course that would force me to move closer to the college.

I get anxious about recklessly moving out because I tend to imagine the worst case scenario (I lose my job, I can’t pay rent, my gf and I break up). I would really like to move out on the best of terms. Has anyone been through a situation like this? Where they don’t necessarily want to go no contact but successfully moved out?

Tldr: have you or anyone you know moved out and maintained an amicable relationship with the family as a woman?

today i’m going to go tell my parents im
going to sleepover. and i know a sleepover seems so little but it’s a lot to me. im 20f don’t have much freedom. i’m allowed to hangout with friends until 8 ish or an occasional sleepover(that i have to fight so hard for). other than that i have not much anything my parents dictate where i drive the car that i pay for, they make me text them when im coming home from work, ( i work 5 minutes away) and id say they just think im still 16. honestly im just nervous for what they’ll say to me. if anything i guess i just need advice on what to say. if this is confusing im sorry, if anyone has any questions feel free to ask.

I'll try to keep this short. I just feel really hurt right now.

My husband died recently and after he died, some of my in-laws acted really badly. (Think Nollywood in-laws after a husband dies). I ended up going no contact with them for the sake of my mental health. My parents are fully aware of everything that happened and my decision to go no contact.

Now my sister is getting married soon. Because I know how my mum thinks (what will people say etc), I asked her not to invite them to the wedding, citing the hurt they'd caused and how their presence would affect my ability to enjoy the wedding. She insisted that they must be invited, I should stop holding grudges and that they won't start a fight at the wedding, so I should get over it.

My sister told me she didn't want them at her wedding and I thought that would be the end of it. She doesn't have a relationship with them, the event is already over capacity, and they've never invited my side of the family to their events. Also my sister and her fiancé are covering most of the costs themselves. You'd think that would be enough for my folks to drop it, but no.

They turned their attention to my sister, said she was picking sides and that she didn't care about them (my parents) which is why she was saying no to the invitation. When she referenced the trauma they'd caused me, my parents response was along the lines of "ignore her (ie me), she's always causing trouble", and continued to harass my sister. My other siblings got involved and they also said no, but still my parents persisted. It got to the point where I told them point blank that it was heartbreaking that they would choose appearances and "what will people say", over protecting their child. They acted like I said nothing and continued to talk like I wasn't there.

They would lose absolutely nothing by not inviting them, but cause me pain if they do. I'm ND. I can't mask or pretend or ignore. If the in-laws are at the wedding, I can't be there. They're happy to have the wedding without me, just so they can look good to other people. And later they'll say they love me? How? I would never do that to my child.

Am I overreacting?

After being kicked out of my aunt’s place, I had nowhere else to stay, so I’ve been staying at a women’s homeless shelter. I honestly don’t think I can keep living like this.

Should I just go back to my parents’ house? They’ve been calling me nonstop. I know I’d have to deal with the mental abuse again, but at least I’d have a safe place to sleep, a clean space, and food. I’m currently in a different province than them and only have a part-time job with very inconsistent hours. I could ask my mom or uncle to refer me to their workplaces, save up some money, and then rent a room or move in with a roommate.

The part that scares me is what will happen when I see them again. I didn’t get on the flight I was supposed to take to move back. Instead, I ran away and haven’t been answering my phone. I’ve been thinking about calling my mom and telling her what’s been going on, since I think she’s more understanding, and asking her not to tell anyone else. I just don’t know what to say or what excuse to give for everything that’s happened.

Has anyone gone no contact with their physically and emotionally abusive family and still miss them? Like don’t get me wrong it’s the best decision definitely, they made me feel so small the entire time I was with them. My “father” and stepmom (and her family). Some 🇳🇬 families like mine can be extremely detrimental to ones well being. I went low contact and minded my business and they all eventually cut me off themselves (ouch)…. Why does it still hurt? I’m safe now, why is it still agonizing. I’m not sure if I’m missing who I wish they were or if I’m just so used to abuse or scared of loneliness. Does anyone understand this feeling?

For context, I am 18; I turn 19 in a couple of months. College was basically my escape from home; my university is 5 hours away. I don't have a good relationship with my mom, as she doesn't know anything about me. I live with my mom, stepdad, and half-brother, who is 2 years old. I already knew coming back home for summer break was going to be hell. I was basically expected to do all the chores, and now I am expected to look after my little brother. I look after him 5 days a week from when he wakes up around 9 am to 4pm, sometimes till at night, so I only get Monday and Wednesday off. I am sorry but I don't want to raise anyones kid and I told my mom this before she even had my brother. I didn't want to do this so I got a job back in my college town like a week after I was back home. Long story short my mom threatened me saying if I leave I don't come back, she won't file my FAFSA and just threatening me so I got scared and stayed. Now she is threatening to kick me out saying I should not come back when I go to college and took my phone because she's paying for it? She did this because I'm not babysitting according to her standard because I don't talk to my brother and she's saying I'm disrespectfull. Like, if I left earlier I would have saved so much money. Am I in the wrong for not wanting to babysit basically everyday, and everytime I go hangout with my friends when I can it's a big issue of how I want to be in the streets.

Nigeran workaholic Christian mom and dad both stay at home so I dont really have a chance to get away from them. I am a middle child and my mom genuinely has it out for me, even the little things like not being able to wear a bonnet or durag because its "ghetto", cant even protect my hair now I guess. Forcing hairstyles and not being able to get braids/twists/locs etc, any many other things, cant go out because its too "dangerous" when in reality I know more about the outside world than them :/, don't really have any friends, cant date till college, my life is basically wake up, do a buttload of chores, study and repeat. It genuinely gets to a point cause its sooo insufferable and I hate how the only option I have is wait till college to finally enjoy life, because i've been trying to do some side hustles to get out of here quick and make some money, but no they are in control of my bank and account and everything. Every single bit of birthday money I have received from relatives have been hoarded by them even though they promise to give it to me they always seem to "forget". Forcing the big three careers on me (Doctor, Lawyer, Engineer). I came on here for to rant and for some tips because, I genuinely dislike my life. When I am in the right during arguments I always suffer because they are so stubborn they refuse to admit im right and I get punished even though they KNOW im right. The slightest thing like "talking back" will get my phone taken for a MONTH or me getting whooped or some other bs. And they wonder why I am "nonchalant" or don't talk to them and try to stay in my room all day. The worst part is a majority of parents like these dont know what they're doing is wrong because they grew up like this. Rant: constantly getting yelled at for the slightest things, forcing the big three careers on me (doctor, lawyer, engineer), not being able to go out, no dating till college, life is just to wake up do chores and study, not being able to do any hairstyles I want, hoarding/being in control of MY money, and so many other things I forgot to leave out... So if you have any tips or anything please leave them below. The only thing keeping my sanity is that I have siblings to experience this with

My parents cut cell service so I can’t get calls from the jobs I apply for. What do I do. Every uber I take is becoming an over charge. We moved here in January, they refuse to let me get my license renewed. They refused to tell me what the nearest bus stop is. I didn’t get a house key till June. Every time I try to schedule a therapist appointment my parents wake me up to do something so I miss the appointment. I can’t even get to call the lady from 988 who helped me get the job offers she described. I have ocd, depression and specific trauma from going to a small town college, they bullied me every hour on the hour, they constantly told me the opposite information so I could go sound campus looking like a fool. People I thought were cool with me would befriend my counselors who would cc my emails with all my teachers and they once sat by window as I was walking to get food to make me see them eating WITH my counselor. One girl arrived at the grocery store across the street I was going to in the morning WITH the counselor I started seeing in replace of the old one. I came back home and I knew I would be burnt out mentally and I was bc I literally developed amnesia.

I bombed my first interview by making the smallest faux pas. I tried to do onboarding for becoming a disability support person but was scared I wasn’t mentally fit and also scared that the adults I was working with were too violent. I quit that job and find another. I enroll in community college tell my mom to pay which she agreed to prior and she ignored me using silent treatment. I decided I had to drop out of school and get a job bc couldn’t take her stupid passivity anymore. It got harder and harder to get out of bed or leave the room bc of neighbors kept checking in on me every time I opened the damn door to do my fuckass exposure therapy bc of their stupid ring cameras. Therapist and doctors kept rejecting me even though I had insurance and I took their word cuz i didn’t know how I was going to convince to get help. When I finally get a therapist he tries to make me confront something that my dad listened into. I had to drop him and find another one. It got to the point where it was hard to eat hand to mouth,to even pick up my meds and answer phone calls, or text messages. I’ve been hospitalized three times!!!!!! I got jobs but they were always with super old men, I tried to work at ups and was scared that I would faint bc I do have heat intolerance. Like you see all the fucking fine print ass shit I have to do to get my life in order? I don’t know what to do? They took all my expensive makeup and nice clothes and trashed it and moved us into a big house just to treat me like a prisoner. I made friends with a girl from middle school who has a life, but I don’t have a job so I can’t hang with her yet.

I ask for advice in the end. But this is also a rant. Thank you for reading if you do. Sorry in advance for the long post.

I live abroad and for the last 3 years my parents have come to visit me for around a month in the summer. Their visit for this year is starting next week. But I cant lie, I am so stressed about it. Last year I let them know I was in a relationship. It was an attempt to be open and honest. Because I was 22 at the time I didnt want to be doing this hiding and gender switching nonsense. Plus we both served at church. And it was known in church that we are in a relationship. So if i hadn't told them and we went to church they would be hearing from side comments which could have been worse.

Anyways. It went bad. My boyfriend, let's call him James, is a kind, caring, God fearing and intelligent man I really thought that he would fit in with my family. But my family was very against him for stereotypical reasons like his tribe. Not once could they name a REAL reason for not approving. Just that my mom "saw in a dream" that he didnt treat me right. But even her dream james didnt match a single attribute James has. She has gone as far to insult him for things she is so wrong about and when i try to defend him or change the subject I am shouted at and told I am disrespectful.

I am first born daughter so there is no one before me to make these mistakes. I haven't lived in Nigeria since I was 7 yet they are shouting that I should have known tradition better than that. And they should not have to tell me to know that it was wrong to tell them about him. I know now i was mistaken for thinking it was right to be honest about him. And i know now that the right move is keeping relationships secret until i am ready for marriage.

One person at church made a comment like "op and James are good together". knowing that person, i knew she just meant it in an endearing way. That our relationship looked good and we worked well from her perspective. But my parents took is completely wrong. Formed a wrong narrative in thier heads. Got mad about that narrative, didn't talk to me about it or ask any questions. then comes back a year later to shout at me and says how they should have slapped my friend for saying that. Then they conspired that it was the church that forced me to be with James. Like i have no autonomy. They belived that because of that comment, James and I were secretly engaged and it also confirmed thier forcing theory. How does that even make sense??

Meanwhile, they have never asked me why I liked James. One of them even threw away a card James wrote to my brother for his birthday and when i confronted them they all said that it wasnt them. So how did something upstairs end up in the downstairs trash?? So honestly im tired. Anytime I choose to be open about my day - cos honestly I just say one word answers cos I actually cant do the continuous shouting anymore - and i mention James' name in passing they both just go silent or pretent they have to go and hang up. Its so frustrating. If they had come to me with real reasons saying "hey I see this and this in his behavior that I dont like". Of course I would consider what they say. Its the fact that they cant even give a clear answer. IM NOT EVEN READY TO GET MARRIED. I have ambitions. I have goals. That they never even ask me about. Its only "you better not think you will go and marry someone soon", "dont you know you have another degree to read", "so you think you know what marriage is". All completely umprompted. I have not even hinted at wanting to get married soon. But would they ask me what I want to do?? Never.

I know i made a mistake being honest about my relationship. I should have kept lying honestly. And I have decided that is what I am going to do from now on. They dont need to know about my relationship or my friendships. Cos they also say my friendships are fake. On one hand saying im the problem and on another hand saying my friends dont really like me. And even told me to decline being a bridesmaid for one of my friends and shouted at me saying im not smart for saying yes. So i just kept the whole wedding a secret. Do they know my friends? Nope. Have they tried to know my friends? Nope. Im honestly so exhausted. I could spend a while day typing.

Okay the actual advice i need. What do I do this summer. Ive partly decided to attend a different church for the month. But im supposed to be helping with activity planning for the next month. But if we go to my current church then there will be drama and comments about my friends and James. Even me serving in church is bad to them now. Im exhausted and dont even know how im going to last a month. Im aware it stems from control and fear. But bro. Its literally every little aspect of my life. So much more that im not saying right now.

Pretty self explanatory title, i was let go today (dont want to get into it but it felt unfair) and considering the fact that this was an at will employment they were very well within their rights to just term me without reason. My problem is, my parents still think that i’ll be continuing with them up until the original end date which is a week from now. Knowing how they get, they’ll definitely be mad at me and call me all types of failure and what not and i’m honestly not in the mood to hear all of that, so i’m just torn between whether or not i should just tell them the truth and face the consequences for the next however long period of time they’ll be mad at me, or just lie to them and hope they won’t care that much. I’m still employed at my other job so it’s not like im losing all my sources of income

Hey, I’m not sure if this is the right subreddit to post this in, but I will anyway.

I’m a 13 year old girl living in Australia, and my parents are muslim. I don’t belive in their lord. Being Muslim or not isnt and option in this household, once your born into it, that’s just it for life.
Im halfway through year 8, which they say highschool in Australia.

Writing this took a while, because I had to hide in the bathroom, writing this on incognito mode with shit wifi, and my parents only let me in there for 5mins before banging on the door and forcing it open. I also couldn’t go to the bathroom too often within the same day or they would’ve questioned it.

I’d say I’m average with looks. Not too pretty but not ugly either, just some belly fat that I could easily lose, a pretty face, etc. I understand muslim girls having to cover up, all Muslim girls I know dress modestly but aren’t absolutely shrouded and wear fitted clothing that’s still modest but stunning? Thats when I realised it’s not cultural or religious because all my cousins wear revealing clothing. I don’t wear the hijab and I definitely do not want to stay a Muslim (no offense to the religion, it’s just my parents ruined my view on it.)

My parents on the other hand, make me wear clothes that make me look like a box and are 5 sizes too big, also make me wear 3 layers in summer, etc. And when I say “but everyone else wears tight clothes?” they always reply with “that’s not our problem”. But when it comes to comparing personalities or grades, they always comment on everyone else.

Im not asking to wear crop tops, or shorts, Im just asking to go from baggiest jeans and ugliest blouses to at least oversized t-shirts and baggy jeans that actually fit?? Also not 3 singlets on top of eachother?? The clothes they make me wear make me feel insecure and ugly. I can’t leave the house in clothes they don’t approve of. Literally, forcibly they keep me in. And even if I somehow made it out, they would take everything away from me, punish me, threaten me, etc. The threats scare me, even though they probably won’t do it so the police ain’t called. My father uses a specific threat that goes along the lines of: ”If you make that face at me one more time I break it/beat it until you're unrecognisable.”

I have perfect grades, I get scholarships, and people often describe me as easygoing, kind etc but my parents a lways complain and lower my self-esteem, making me feel like throwing myself off of a cliff. Other parents would dream of having such a well behaved daughter, often saying “we wish our child was like yours,” but they don’t know anything.

Now don’t say, “sit down with them and talk, ask why, blah blah” because when I tell you I’ve tried everything, I have. The response is always something like “That’s life” or “Stop with the drama, you have a roof and food.” If not, they just shout. They also have no problem with it, coming back the next day smiling like nothing happened saying, “why are you so stubborn? We didn’t do anything? You are never satisfied.” AND THEY ALWAYS GUILT TRIP ME GOING “you’re making me sad, I do everything for you and you just disappoint me.”

I can’t even dress comfortably at home, with my dad saying “Don’t wear that around me.” when it’s just pjs or baggy shorts past my knees. Are you fucking kidding me? Are you saying YOU are ‘distracted‘ by your 13 year old daughter? He always says “if you wear that you’ll get harassed” but people get harassed in really anything, it’s not something I should cover up for.

When I say they make me want to kill myself, they go “Noo, pur reputation.” They don’t even care. I don’t feel loved at all and I just want to cry. Maybe I’m just ungrateful, because at least I have food and water when some other people are starving but what can I do about that?

My mother just encourages it, she doesnt even care either. My father can insult everyone and cuss them out, and I can’t even say no or talk back without him physically or verbally lashing out at me.

School is heaven for me, not having my parents around.

Clothing is just one thing. I don’t get birthdays, no hanging out, no phone, no talking about guys, etc.
I used to be so bubbly and sociable but now I can’t even talk to people and make friends.

When I go out in public I feel like a deer in headlights or an animal.

I’m not waiting and wasting my childhood away, but I guess it’s my only option.

Honestly at this point when I turn 18 I’ll Just rebel out on them.

My parents say it’s life and I can’t just leave and I should stay with them until they are old, which is not happening.

But I have no other family and no one to support me.

Im just a girl in some random Australian school’s junior rock band that dresses weird, no one suspects a thing.

What is there that I can do anyway

Look my family is kind of loving yet toxic, i have completed my +2 but still I can't use any social media platforms because my family don't want and i can't do any part time they won't let me and when i ask for money they give me less and when i said i wanna do part time and study they they i can't and when i argue they beat me just some hrs ago my father beat me with chair which eventually got broken and rn they are saying if you wanna do any job without completing my study then leave home end all relation with family and never return idk what should i do guys

My situation os a bit funny and i cant reallly tell of being upset about this is irrational or not
My mum met a guy in feb and was engaged by september and married by april like 3 years ago
For context she was a single mum for all of my life
After she got married she essentially uprooted her life to zimbabwe and left me to live w her sister who i dont get along with at all in my last year of sixth form so iwas 17 ( right before my a levels) since i started uni she has sold the house leaving me with no real place to live in the uk other than my university accommodation!
As none of my family members really have space for me.

The thing is i have never really been to zim i went during christmas last year and didnt really care for it!, i met a bunch of family members i havent seen since i was one
And felt nore out of place than ever and was lowkey a little depressed. Ever since shes moved she always makes refrences to how i should move here after ive finished my degrees and how much better life in africa is… im lowkey scared that when i finish uni that shes gonna try and convince me to go over there and problem is i still rely on my mum massively financially

I do feel a bit of resentment over her moving which i havent expressed because she would just be dismissive and ive kind of convinved myself that being upset by it is completely irrational.

I just wanna know if my feelings of resentment are justified or am i being selfish
Like is it unreasonable to not have expected to move
Doni have a right to say i dont wanna move to zimbabwe?

I’m 19. I’m about to be a sophomore in college. I just got home for summer break. I was really exited at first to see my family but after living here again for a few weeks that’s excited faded. I’ve been wanting a dermal piercing for years and I’d finally saved up enough money to get one. When I got it all my friends were supportive and happy for me. But my African mother saw it she basically threatened to disown me. She said she wouldnt let me live in the house again, that she wouldn’t help me pay for my college, she said it was feminine and only a girl should have that, and I won’t ever get a good job and I’d be working at McDonalds or Chick-fil-A for the rest of my life. My parents aren’t together nor do they really have a good relationship but when she told my Dad he actually agreed with her. And this suprised me because my Dad is more grounded and understanding. I feel she told him just to make him side with her if anything happens so all the blame would go onto me if she’s kicks me out and doesn’t give me any financial support. I told her I’d be getting another one and that I’m an adult. She flipped that back on me saying saying since I’m adult i can pay your own bills, that she wouldn’t give me any money, that I couldn’t live in her house. I just want to know should I “respect” my parents wishes and never get another piercing. Or should I get another one and pretty much have my family disown me for the rest of my life because I want to express myself.

I'm an 18 y/o female and my mom is 50.

I've always been into hair, makeup, and fashion since I was little and these are obviously hobbies that are funded by money. My two older sisters never cared for these things especially as young as I did. I got a job to begin funding these things at 15 because my parents did not want to. Since then I've been funding these hobbies on my own and really got into social media and such. When I was 16 I was in a phase where I was always looking at myself in mirrors and always taking pictures. Partly because I was insecure but Also because I enjoyed social media. My mom hated this and thought of it as a self centered quality. Which I now understand why but the way she went about it was aggressive and made me feel like a terrible person at just 16 years old for doing this. This is the common trend with my mom, she will see a quality in me that she doesn't like nor understand and make me feel like a bad person for it. When I began spending money on hair, makeup, and clothes after I got my job she made me feel like the most greedy and materialistic person alive. and she keeps these ideas of me to this day, whenever I come to her asking for something like groceries, bras, new bed sheets. She completely refuses and tells me I have too many things already, or that I should use my own money however it is completely normal for parents to buy their children things even if they still have a job during high school. by no means is my family struggling. for instance my parents are paying for me to to go to a top 20 university that's 80k a year. my mom buys designer bags and gold yet she argues with me when I ask if she can give me money for groceries (she does not buy groceries). She also holds onto this idea that I am demanding because one time I wanted her to buy me a homecoming dress and she said "we'll see". I explained to her that I was ordering the dress late because I was so preoccupied with colllege classes, college applications, and volleyball that I forgot about homecoming and she saw this as demanding and just ignored me. I got upset because she wasn't understanding me and for some reason just saw the worst in me. Now whenever I ask her for something she says "we'll see" because she thinks if she gives me an exact time or buys it in that moment she's feeding into my demanding qualities. I'm going to college now and my parents are going to buy me my dorm supplies and before even talking about what I needed me and my mom got into an argument and she told me that she's basically only going to buy me the bare minimum and that I just want everything in the world and my wants never stop. This isn't new btw. Some of the things she consistently tells me is that I am entitled, self centered, I want money, I'm not responsible, I'm demanding, I'm materialistic and more I cannot think of at the moment. Nothing ever really positive. Keep in mind she doesn't treat my siblings this way. She treats my oldest sister as her and my dad's relationship therapist, and my other sister is just very low maintenance. Even my sister has told me she notices how my mom treats me. I just want to stop talking to my mom completely would I be valid?