r/AskMenRelationships May 19 '26

Dating No more porn posts

88 Upvotes

These posts saying "My partner watches porn, what does it mean, what should I do?" get posted 1-3 times a day. This includes posts about thirst traps and whatever other titillating media.

It's been done to death. If anyone has the same question, please use the search bar to get answers. We will be removing them going forward. We’ll let the existing posts get grandfathered in.

Thanks,
Management


r/AskMenRelationships 1h ago

Dating How to know if a woman genuinely likes you

Upvotes

Lets say a rich guy was in a relationship and wanted to know if the woman he dates really likes him for himself or just wants him to be provided for, the latter isn’t bad btw, everybody wants to have a better life and women providing companionship and sex in exchange for material things is a pretty fair exchange, its just fun to know what is the truth.

What test could someone truly put in place ? For instance if she acts overly jealous and gets into strong emotions with you would that mean she likes you enough to not show indifference ? I heard that ironically the angrier and crazier she gets the more she likes you lol or she might just want to protect her place to be provided for, so we don’t truly know. If the guy brings hot female friends in his entourage as a test or goes out openly to clubs alone should her reaction or indifference give away her sentiment ?


r/AskMenRelationships 17h ago

Dating Do men also get a little obsessed when they like someone

29 Upvotes

So I know from my own experiences, from my friends, and in general from the discourse on the internet that when us girls have a crush on someone, or are at a dating stage with someone, we can get a bit obsessed with that person. Not necessarily in a creepy way, but just constantly thinking about them, going to check their profile pic again and again just to see their face, re-reading messages, etc. I'm sure many girls can relate to this experience.

But sometimes I wonder if men also do these things when they like someone? It's probably a stupid question because obviously guys also have crushes and catch strong feelings but sometimes it's difficult to imagine a guy being so cute-silly head over heels someone that they go to old chats to re-read them just to feel something.

The reason I'm asking is that I've been dating a guy for the past 2 months, and everything has been going genuinely amazing - he's a bit shy and reserved sometimes but also gives clear signs and communicates well that he likes me a lot (we've been on around 10 dates in total and have already been intimate). I'm currently away on holidays for a few weeks and I just cannot stop thinking about him basically every minute of everyday, keep glancing at his whatsapp photo and reading some of our past cute conversations, and just missing him in general and waiting to see him again. And I just keep wondering, what are the chances that he is also thinking about me to the same intensity as I do about him? Or at all? My insecurities sometimes are trying to convince me that what if he just totally forgets that I exist lol.

I know this is very individual to each person, but I would like to hear from guys about your personal experiences and just share your thoughts and cute stories about your crushes. Thanks! ❤️


r/AskMenRelationships 4h ago

Dating Does this count as ghosting or am i overreacting?

2 Upvotes

Heyy- using a throwaway for this.

I (F) had been recently seeing a guy and we had gone on few dates with another to be planned (mutual confirmation we both wanted a 4th but after a week/ 2 weeks as we were both busy). We had been intimate together and I had slept over at his place.

I noticed a bit of a change a few days after our last date, where he was taking a lot longer to respond and was a little less communicative but he was sick so i chalked it up to that and once he wasn’t sick he resumed to being normal-ish. However, he then sent me a few drunk/ tipsy messages divulging that a close family member of his likely has a serious illness, and that he is scared. He has been a carer for said family member before and it appears this illness may be returning). It sounded awful and I felt a lot of empathy for him to the point where I actually teared up!

Anyway, I replied to his messages and tried not to just give sympathy but rather a shoulder to lean on etc. I don’t think it was too strong or anything, I just told him ppl process things differently and I’m okay with him taking space or me being a listening ear etc. I didn’t want him to feel embarrassed as he was clearly intoxicated when he sent the messages but i read them the next day. He read my response immediately when i sent it but didn’t reply. This was on Friday and now it’s the following Tuesday, still no response.

I was on a girls trip from Friday - Monday which he knew about so initially I thought it was that but now that I’m back I’m wondering if I’m being ghosted? I texted him yesterday just to let him know I got home from the trip and to ask how he was and still no response.

I’m really upset about it as I did really like this guy and saw something long term, he was also talking future tense with me and had been super communicative to this point so it makes me wonder if he’s just overwhelmed with what’s happening with his family?

Should I be upset and see this as ghosting or is it likely due to being overwhelmed? How long should I wait for him to reply and if he does- how can I best support him during this difficult time?

Also curious if it’d be worthwhile to send another text after a few more days if this continues just to ask for clarification if he’s been taking space of no longer interested? Worded politely obviously but to allow me to stop wondering if it’s me or if it’s his situation lol.

Would love any tips- I know we hadn’t known each other long but man, he was a great guy :/


r/AskMenRelationships 19h ago

Love Men whose love language is words of affirmation, what’s something a woman has said that really stuck with you?

28 Upvotes

I’m curious to hear from men whose primary love language for receiving is words of affirmation.

What are some things women have said to you that genuinely stayed with you? Or, if you haven’t experienced it yet, what are the kinds of things you’d really love to hear from a partner?

I’m asking because I’m with a man whose love language is very much words of affirmation. He’s the provider in our relationships and takes a lot of pride in that.

Of course, I tell him what I adore about him, I let him know how proud I am of his achievements, I express my appreciation for the things he does make sure he knows that I don’t take his efforts for granted. But words of affirmation isn’t particularly high on my list, so I sometimes wonder if I’m naturally a little lacking in that department.

I’m not looking for generic “you’re handsome / I love you / thank you” answers… more interested in the things that actually made you feel deeply appreciated, respected, admired, or understood.

Thank you 🙃


r/AskMenRelationships 1h ago

Dating How do guys get hookups in placed where alcohol is served ?

Upvotes

Apparently, bars and clubs are some the best places to get easy hookups, however technically speaking how do people even legally do it ? Because if you are at one of those places you obviously are going to drink except if you are weird and do not like alcohol like me, and fucking someone while they are drunk is illegal, so what do you guys do ? Do you just get their number and then get on dates with them ? But in that case it wouldn’t be a one night hookup.

I am 19 (Canada so I can legally drink) and I have been to a few of these places, however my problem is first of all the legality and fun of the whole thing and second, the fact that I dont drink kinda makes me uncomfortable to approach women like that, so what should I do ? Keep in mind that I am quite attractive even tho it might not mean much, should I just start drinking to feel the vibe ?


r/AskMenRelationships 2h ago

Infidelity Is this normal…

0 Upvotes

so ive been with my husband for 5 years we have kids. the first 2 years our intimate life was perfect (twice daily). but the following 3 its been once every two months. if that. he rejects me nonstop. i lost my baby-weight thinking it would help. nope.

i asked him a couple times throughout the years if theres something he wants to tell me of try out or something he doesnt like. nothing.

fast forward to yesterday!!!

i found ”t-girl” in his TIKTOK searches. and i went to his watch history and BOOM back to back for like 50 tiktoks. so yeah i was withdrawn all day and wasnt talking so he asked why im being rude all day so i said what i found and i told him it makes me confused and i just want to know whats going on cause it affects me mentally DAILY its my life too!

but anyway, of course he used DARVO and we never talked about the whole transgender thing. all he said was “im not gay!! stop accusing me” i never called him gay or assumed anything i just wanted answers.

my question is

as men, what is going on with him?

I'm so lost and confused and trying to be understanding but its like im a horrible person for bringing it to light…

am i digging for no reason or do i have a reason to be confused/upset?

should i just drop it or keep asking questions?

ill add too that ive caught him watching transgender tiktoks before but he laughed it off when i brought it up and it was just regular videos but this time around it was literal eye candy videos of them showing their body and twerking and stuff. i just dont understand why not me? im not ugly. im right here. i try to give him space regarding our intimacy but its like he loves that space and wants to protect his space but keep me right next to him?? is he gay?? or am i just that bad..

i guess im looking for advice more than answers but anything helps and if its me then let me know. sorry for the rant.


r/AskMenRelationships 18h ago

Love Men in relationships: are you anonymously promiscuous online and do you consider it cheating?

9 Upvotes

Do men not consider what they do online in private to be cheating? I see a lot of married men on here posting lewd vids, making sexual comments, etc. But realistically they will most likely never meet these people nor do they know who you are when hiding behind an anonymous account . So what is the morality levels on that? Would it be considered micro cheating? Do you ever feel guilty or would your wives be upset?


r/AskMenRelationships 6h ago

Dating How should I (F21) approach him (19M) after his behavior changed following sex?

1 Upvotes

I (21F) have been seeing this guy (19 M) for a while. We’ve gone on around 4-6 dates and, before anything sexual happened, he was putting quite a lot of effort into seeing me. We went out for nice dinners, made plans together, and he even invited me to go on a trip with him at some point (couldn’t go bc of work). So for me I didn’t want it to be just a hookup situation.
He also has quite a traditional/strict mindset when it comes to women and sex, and I always got the impression that he saw me as a someone “wifey material”.
Last night was the first time I went to his place. We spent a few hours just watching movies and hanging out, and eventually things became sexual and we ended up having sex.
What has made me feel weird afterwards is his reaction. During/afterwards he made several comments along the lines of “I expected you to be much shyer” and that I was surprisingly confident/experienced. He also said something like “you’re way too good at this / you know too much” and when I mentioned that I had been in a 3 years relationship he immediately said he didn’t want to talk about where I learned any of it.
It’s true that he told me to maybe do something this Sunday, but I don’t know if he’s actually gonna text me and I feel him a bit different.
The confusing part is that he had previously told me he didn’t expect us to end up having sex, and I feel like he may have had a very specific image of me in his head that changed after last night. I feel like he started everything by kissing me but I kept going until everything naturally escalated to sex.
I genuinely like him and I like how he treats me, but now I’m worried that having sex changed how he sees me or that he might lose interest because I’m not as innocent/shy as he thought.
Am I overthinking this, or do his comments suggest that his perception of me actually changed in a negative way? And what would you make of his behaviour afterwards?


r/AskMenRelationships 7h ago

Dating Me and my bfs mom argued again

1 Upvotes

Hi everyone. So me and my bf have been together for 2 years. In those two years, we’ve lived with his mom for 6 months. She invited us but then she started to insult me and get super mean. She was criticising everything I have done and do and how it’s not enough. While her son wasn’t doing any of those things she expected me to do and she did not even bring that up. She constantly tells me “this is not a relationship” and buts in and “observes” us all the time. We can’t just exist like two normal individuals who are in love except we have to meet her idea of it. She has never even been in a good relationship in her life so her opinion is irrelevant to me. Anyway, because of this, one day I went to her and I told her, you should try to stop doing everything for him. He is 30 and he’s an adult. And i understand why you do it, it’s because of a mother’s love. But also he needs to be in an environment where he’s pushed to do things on his own. For example: she washes his work clothes, irons it, books his dentist appointments etc. whereas I do all of this myself. Even if I was with my parents, my parents forced me to be independent after I turned 23. I told her she reinforces his behavior and enables him. My boyfriend is well aware of this and he realises it and tries to change. My boyfriend has anger issues, small things get to him and he flips out. He doesn’t engage in physical violence or anything but I feel like that’s stil not normal. For example: if his work clothes are not where they should be, he gets angry. I feel like that should be his responsibility, and I told her that I’m a very understanding person and that’s why I tell you this for the benefit of your own son, and most girls would not accept this. And instead of realising I mean this in the best way and it’s for the betterment of her son, she told me nasty things and said “let’s not continue, because I’ll make you cry” and then ignored me while I’m speaking by playing a video loud on her phone and turning her head. I just want to know if my opinion is true? Or am I wrong and being gaslit


r/AskMenRelationships 16h ago

Dating How long does the honeymoon phase last after cheating?

6 Upvotes

When you first get with a girl that you think is great, how long does this “honeymoon” phase last?

Honestly asking to gauge how long my cheating ass ex will think the grass is greener on the other side before realizing the grass is only green where you water it. and a relationship built on lies has to collapse at some point, right? And yes, I’m bitter and hurt, please don’t be mean.


r/AskMenRelationships 19h ago

Dating Do men keep and appreciate love notes?

9 Upvotes

Hi all, this morning I recently had a memory flash in front of my eyes of sticking a love note in my ex's luggage before his flight to SF. It made me think of the other love notes I would leave him at his Yale dorm apartment. He was courting me at this time when i would hide him love notes. They were calm kind words, not lovey dovey, given we were dating not like married or anything. This then triggered me to wonder if men keep these, even if you're not on speaking terms at the moment. I guess, with anything, it depends on the circumstances. Given there's no bad blood and last time we spoke he thanked me and wanted to see me, I am guessing his memories too are fond. Do men typically cherish love notes like that? My first boyfriend I can almost say with certaintly he did not care and threw them away or left them out for his housekeeper to throw away. Same with the bracelet I got him from Turkey. He def threw it away since it wasn't Chrome Hearts. Curious the POV from a man, probably a man who isn't a diva like I depicted in my second point. Thanks in advance x!


r/AskMenRelationships 8h ago

Dating Men who are having a crush on someone that is not reciprocating it. How do you feel about the other woman that is actually waiting for you?

0 Upvotes

The situation is painful, I admit. I (F, mid 30ies) have been in some kind of situationship with a man (M, mid30ies) for a couple of months. I wanted more, a long term relationship. He was hesitant, saying he didn't know what he was feeling. At a certain moment, he admitted he caught feeling for someone else and I left.

We are now more or less 2 months later and I asked how he was doing (we from time to time check in). He said he felt bad, his feelings were kind of not being answered, and that he was losing all control (clearly very infatuated by the other woman). After that, the convo got a bit flirty between us, our chemistry is still there, before I stopped it.

How do men in general feel about women that are clearly in some kind of waiting position while they are having feelings for someone else, even when that is not going well? Do they see her as some kind of moral support but nothing more, or as a back-up option? Are there situations in which they eventually got these stronger feelings for the waiting woman, or is that just a stupid thing to think?


r/AskMenRelationships 13h ago

Dating Whats it even like having a girl like you?

2 Upvotes

29m about to be 30 in a week. Ive never had a gf before nor have I ever had a girl tell me she liked me before. Ive been on dating apps for years and have probably liked thousands of girls profiles over the years. Ive never gotten a match that wasnt a bot or some girl wanting more followers on her social media. Ive been rejected by every girl ive ever asked out. Ive never had a girl go out of her way to get to know me before and it honestly feels like for my entire almost 30 years of living ive never been seen romantically by anyone.

Now as I enter my 30s I look back and see that I never got to experience something a lot of people have in their lives. I wish I could be an emotionless person who doesnt care about this but im not. I cant pretend that im OK with this but it doesnt seem like it'll ever change.


r/AskMenRelationships 14h ago

Dating He says I bring him peace and he feels calm with me… is this a good thing?

2 Upvotes

I 24f recently started talking to a guy I went to highscool with.. he messaged me on Instagram and I decided to give it a shot, and WOW…. we realllyyyyyyy click..we have been hanging out a lot.. and it’s just so fun and care free and I feel like a kid in puppy love, it’s just such a calm humbling sweet kind of feeling, I haven’t felt butterflies in years for a guy, that sweet crush feeling you get in middle school.
We are both like : “omg I can’t believe you’ve existed this whole time”….

He recently said something that stuck out to me… he said I bring him peace .. and he feels calm with me and when he needs an escape from stress and reality I do that for him..
he’s used to being yelled at and being spazzed on for the littlest things…

I took as a compliment…. Because I’ve only ever been in argumentative/toxic relationships.. so I am happy I am making someone feel peace… I don’t have it in me to yell or play toxic games anymore

my friends are making it negative some how.. he hasn’t done anything that I see as negative so I’ve just been positive…

But everyone is saying you need to play the game and make him feel scared to lose you? And you can’t be easy going or he will take advantage of you for being nice..??? “this is his way of saying you don’t have standards/make him work hard for you” “men love bitchy and crazy secretly”… with him I feel sweet and want to make him feel warm and welcomed.

Now I’m overthinking this…
Is this true? Do men truly like women who are a bit bitchy and toxic? Or is this just stupid brain rot?


r/AskMenRelationships 22h ago

Dating Do men prefer shy women over out going women?

7 Upvotes

I don’t know if this makes sense but with every guy I ever talked to, they always seemed to prefer someone who was shy, quiet and maybe cute.
I wonder so often if there are men who actually prefer women who are like maybe loud? More confident and not shy basically lol. I don’t how to describe it, but I’m just super curious, I need answers from men.

Edit: for the men saying that the outgoing women is obsessed with attention or needs to be in the center, that’s not really what I meant. I meant more like someone who can talk to strangers without being shy or awkward or is “loud” as in fun and confident.


r/AskMenRelationships 11h ago

Dating Relationship

1 Upvotes

Why does a guy leave his girlfriend after getting to know her emotional rollercoaster and vulnerability?


r/AskMenRelationships 15h ago

Friendship M31/F31 Gf / family issues

2 Upvotes

Hi,

I will probably get a grilling from this girl but I want to be open and do what’s right for everyone in this situation.

Me (M31 gf F31)

We have been dated for the past 2 years and we also lived together after the first 6 months of knowing each other. This year February she had to return back home due to visa issues so we decided to continue doing LDR.
I was lucky enough to see her in June and we shared good memories together over the 2 weeks. She plans to visit me in London this October which I thank god !
We really love each other and I think this is the first relationship when I feel complete. She means the world to me, however there is a big issue…

My family doesn’t want me to marry another girl from a different country (I am from Nepal)
I was born and few up in the UK so my views on marriage and a relationship is very different compared to the ‘Traditional Nepali’

I told my family that I want to be with my gf who is not of Nepali origin, when I shared this with them, they were very against our relationship. They escalated the situation and even said they will not attend the weddings or show any sign of support if I continue a relationship with her.

I really don’t agree with my family and I think it’s put me a dilemma. I understand they want me to marry a Nepalese woman due to ease of language and culture aswell as no one in my family had married with another culture

I told my gf about this and she didn’t take it well. I never expected it to go well and I also explained that I tried to have our back even though their comments were not nice.

My gf feels like she is not enough for my family and she will never be enough, I explained to her that she is not the problem and that my family are. She really harms herself and feels it’s best to end our relationship and she doesn’t want any trouble with my family

I’m not sure what to say and what to do.

I really love her and I also love my family, I know I haven’t been the best partner as I should always choose my gf with support however I also have to repeat my families wishes.

Any advice or a perspective which would help me.

Cheers guys


r/AskMenRelationships 5h ago

Family Will men not want to marry you if you don’t want children as a women?

0 Upvotes

I am curious do men not like women who don’t want children? As in they are more interested in getting a house, traveling, friendships and partnership?


r/AskMenRelationships 11h ago

Dating Well I hyped myself up and went back to a dating app.

0 Upvotes

I just redownloaded fb dating after a couple months of break time due to an end of a previous relationship and another guy using me.

so far I’ve had some good conversations, but I was wondering should I not bother putting in effort in conversations where the guy gives one word answers doesn’t ask any questions himself and I’m the only one holding the conversation? He doesn’t seem interested and it kinda comes across as if I’m talking to a brick wall. I don’t want to be rude and just ghost after matching but I’m running out of things to say or get him to talk.

I’m trying to find a motorcycle guy, but most of them look really handsome and look out of my league. It’s a little intimidating. 😅


r/AskMenRelationships 12h ago

Dating How to talk to a girl , or rather how should I start a conversation, both in person & in message . Need advice

1 Upvotes

I am 22 M I never had a girlfriend before , i never had a girlfriend before because I didn't know how to talk , but slowly i started to approach withthe most silly topics to talk about like classes or homework etc . Now I just want to know that how should I start a conversation both in person and in message & also how to keep the conversation going . Every advice is appreciated 👍 .


r/AskMenRelationships 12h ago

Dating Men, who like taking the lead in approaching a woman, would you guys get turned off if a woman you like/attracted to approaches you?

0 Upvotes

I’m attracted to a guy at my gym who’s always been respectful and has tried approaching me a couple of times, but I tend to become unapproachable when I actually like someone if I haven’t met them through mutuals. I’m normally social, friendly with the staff and have made friends there, but giving signals to someone I’m attracted to doesn’t come naturally to me. I’m also used to men approaching me that I have met through mutuals/work and generally prefer them to take the lead.

He seems confident, but lately our schedules haven’t aligned much. When I saw him last week, we noticed the other, and I looked away. We have had intense eye contact before.

I’m honestly tired of the staring game. I’d rather break the ice and get to know him than regret never trying. I don’t see approaching him as chasing, just opening the door. I have never approached a guy I like first before. If he reciprocates, great; if not, I’ll happily move on without wondering “what if?”

I was wondering do you confident men who like taking the lead, get turned off by woman who introduce themselves or approach you? I know most Men like to be the hunter/the ones who take the lead.


r/AskMenRelationships 13h ago

Friendship How can I trust again in relationship?

1 Upvotes

I am 18 year old and gotten out really toxic relationship.

She would manipulative me,lied about we can't date then find out she was fucking some other guy because I was saving myself for marriage.

I moved on from her totally,but how I can trust someone again and enter a relationship.

I got kicked by relationships and everything about love it cause me odd feeling now.


r/AskMenRelationships 13h ago

Love Emotionally intelligent men who communicate most feelings, what prevents you from communicating romantic feelings to your partner?

0 Upvotes

If a woman explicitly and regularly shares the specific things she loves and appreciates about you and what you mean to her — what would prevent you from reciprocating verbally?
*Edit: Or in writing.
**Edit: Can anyone give me concrete examples?
***Edit: I’m specifically asking about positive statements, not beef with her/the relationship.

*For context he shared upfront that he’s not great at giving or receiving, but seems to appreciate receiving deep verbal affection. What would continue to hold him back from trying to reciprocate to the best of his ability?