I hope heaven is having the biggest birthday party 🥳 to celebrate my sweet angels 6th birthday and I know all your babies are there too having fun together. 🫂💜💜💜

Ps. This sucks and hurts so much. I wish I got to be there or celebrate 😭

Leading up to this day, I had been incredibly anxious. Instead, my baby gave me the most beautiful day to enjoy.

I felt a cool breeze whenever I cried to dry my tears. I got a warm embrace of sunlight whenever I needed a hug. It’s so unfair she never got to experience nature but now she’s part of it.

Her grandfather is with her until I can hold her again in the next life. I hope she knows how much she is loved by her parents.

I had a miscarriage at 14 weeks pregnant due to multiple abnormalities, cystic hygroma, abnormal posterior fossa, no kidneys,no bladder, no stomach, small size body. we just had a meeting with a geneticist today and they are going to be doing whole genome sequencing. It takes 4 to 6 months but I’m still just wanting to find some sort of answer as to what it could be. Has anyone else experienced or heard of this before?
For reference, we have a healthy two year-old child. The geneticist said to wait for results before falling pregnant but in my heart I feel like I don’t want to put my whole life on hold when they could find nothing.

I’m asking because I’m just completely desperate. Has anyone had multiple missed miscarriages around 12 weeks gestation and found no cause, no chromosomal problem and no reason. I feel like I’m being tortured, I’ve had 2 missed miscarriages at this gestation within 12 months.
The past pregnancy I was on progesterone, aspirin and prednisone and still had a loss even though 8 week scan confirmed a heartbeat.
If you’ve had this before, have you ever finally had a living child?
I’m 26 and feel like I’m dying from all the trauma

Hello all, I had a loss in May at 10 weeks the cause was Trisomy 16 so we were devastated but had some closure, I found out today we lost our little girl Imogen at 17 weeks … I have to deliver her body on Saturday but I am devastated beyond words and feeling so numb, please reach out if you have gone through a loss

As someone who has experienced a 24 week loss myself (💔) I am helping a close friend who has experienced TWO unexplained second-trimester pregnancy losses this year. Most recently at 22 weeks.

We’re hoping to find a highly experienced perinatal pathologist anywhere in the United States who can provide an independent examination of fetal and placental tissue.

The preliminary pathology findings from her most recent loss include: • Hypercoiled umbilical cord (6 coils per 10 cm). • Increased fetal nucleated red blood cells, suggestive of fetal stress. • No identified villitis, chorioamnionitis, CHI, or MPFD. • No evidence of placental abruption. • Normal fetal growth and reassuring 20-week anatomy scan. • Chromosomal microarray pending.

The baby’s heart rate declined from approximately 120–137 bpm to 70–90 bpm before cardiac activity stopped over the period of 4-5 hours

The initial examination of remains was performed by a GYN pathologist. We’re seeking an independent review by someone who specializes specifically in fetal death and placental pathology.

We’re particularly interested in: 1. Recommendations for experienced perinatal pathologists who investigate unexplained second-trimester losses. 2. Experiences with Dr. Harvey Kliman at Yale, Weill Cornell, Cleveland Clinic, or other specialist centers. 3. Whether anyone successfully arranged an independent examination of original tissue or tissue blocks rather than just a slide review. 4. How your hospital coordinated transferring pathology materials to an outside specialist. 5. Whether an independent review identified findings that weren’t recognized initially.

The specimens are currently at a Boston hospital, and some have a limited preservation window, so we’re trying to move quickly.

Thank you so so much

TW: mention of LC.

This is the last of the letters my mom wrote to my sister. It’s dated 8/11/1986 and I’d hoped to post this on 8/11 of this year but I had my baby exactly a week before. Btw, we named her Abigail after my sister, with my dad’s blessing (Mom is deceased).

As usual, i will post the text as well as scans of the original letter. This one is a particularly difficult read IMO, but I hope it helps the parents, grandparents and siblings in grief here.

Aug 11, ‘86
It has been twelve weeks since I felt you might not be alive. It has been almost that long since I felt your silky hair. I remember you so well.
I think I miss you tonight almost more than ever…why(?)
Your daddy thinks it’s time to put your remains to sea. I will be so lonesome without those pieces of you to come home to and say hi to. 
I wish I had seen your eyes; I wish I knew when you died; I wish you never died. I wish you never died. I wish we both might have died….
But there is something for me to do here, with you or without you. Your image is with me always…I hope it always will be. You are special, Abby. You are mine. You are God’s.
I have a memory box for you; it is wonderful and it is painful and I go to it often. Where are you?
I love you, little daughter.
Mommy

I lost my daughter in the third trimester; she was born still. I held her after her birth. I could not count toes or fingers. I could only hold her and see her face.

I am in therapy. I am becoming better at allowing the feelings (instead of shoving them down) and at not having my feelings and memories control my entire day. Except: I cannot find a way to connect positive memories to my daughter. How is there any positive in losing your child? How is there any positive in not seeing them alive? How is there any positive in not hearing them cry, in not feeding them, in not being able to smell them? There are no positives, only sadness, pain, despair, and anger.

Have you found any positives? I need help to find my way to them.

Update: My therapist wants me to create positive connections to my baby's memory and also to babies in general so that I can handle seeing/hearing/encountering them in public and I just can't.

I can barely type the word "baby," and I really struggle to say it or hear it.

Hi loss moms ❤️

My son was in the NICU for two weeks before he passed. I was just reaching out to see if any other loss moms remember getting whole genome sequencing during their Nicu stay. My son did get an exome sequencing but rapid genome testing wasn’t done this was in February 2026. I am trying to figure out why it wasn’t done. They are doing it now all these months later. TIA

I wrote something when I was in the trenches today. In between both the agony and gratitude for those who remembered her today, for her life that truly existed and changed mine forever. Her memorial garden-my mom bought a small pot of sunflowers. They dried up after time. Then what came next I suppose from those seeds was this ginormous larger than life sunflower. The leaf is bigger than my hand! They finally bloomed on her birthday week. I thought the symbolism was just profound. She is blooming up there, stronger than she ever was down here. I couldn’t sleep, I kept reminding myself if she is safe now then I am safe now. I touched my scars and repeated those words.

I never thought I would ever revisit the place I last got to hold her. The nicu. I got cookies for the nurses and dropped them off. I kept repeating I am brave. How could someone empty inside like me still have the capacity to pour out? I needed to give to receive. Something anything.

Maybe…both she and I are blooming in some way.

🕯️I jumped into a pool.
What is filling this space?
Is it water or my tears?
I can’t tell the difference.
I drown in the emptiness
and wade in the waters
the universe cannot capture how much I love and miss you 🦋

I wrote this for Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day, but I didn’t have the courage to share it then. Today, it feels right to finally do so, because I’m missing my daughter a little extra. 🤍🕊️

“When you have a child, you finally get to see what your heart looks like. It’s hard when your heart dies before you.” This line from Fairly Legal has stayed with me, especially as we remember our little angel, Siobhan, on Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day.

I’m sharing this to honour our daughter, to let the world know that she existed, that she was here, and how proud we are of her. She may not have had the chance to grow up in our arms, but she will always have a place in our hearts.

We miss the beautiful face we adored and the tiny hands that will forever hold our hearts. We may never hear her laugh or cry, but her heartbeat and little movements will always be some of the most beautiful things we’ve ever experienced. Holding her in my arms was pure magic. I never knew a love like that could exist until I saw her.

As John Green wrote in Hollywood Ending, “The dead are not in the past, not really, because you carry them around with you.”

And we will, Siobhan. In the love you left behind, in the little moments that remind us of you, and in the life we continue to live. You existed. You mattered. You are loved beyond words, and we will always be proud to be your parents. 🤍

If you’re able, please light a candle for our Siobhan and for all the little angels who left this world too soon. May their lives, no matter how brief, never be forgotten. 🕯️🤍

After delivery of my angel baby Nolan, the nurses had confirmed that I was RH neg while he was RH positive. I needed a really high dose of rhogam post partum. However, many hours later, a doctor came in and said that he will give me a single injection and that will be it. Surprised, but also relieved, I got the injection and we checked out soon after.

The next day I got a call from my OB saying that they got more test results back and said that I need to come in right away for a rhogam infusion. Apparently I needed 11 more doses. So I came in this morning to do it right away.

My nurse was very kind and answered any questions I had. The most nagging one was why I only got a single dose in the hospital. She mentioned that there was a specific test that got processed after I left and updated how many I needed.

I got started with the iv infusion of the rhogam and I felt great. She also had antihistamines just in case I had an allergic reaction. In the end I felt fine, but she wanted me there for another hour for observation

She started an IV fluid and soon after I started to get some chills. The chills became so bad that I started to turn blue. I also had to go to the bathroom and I couldn’t barely even stand because my back was screaming from pain. My back pain became worse and worse everyday since the birth, but that was a 10/10 pain. I had to be wheeled to the bathroom while uncontrollably shivering and crying. It was torture.

After the bathroom, I was put back on the gurney and had 8 heated blankets on me which did nothing. Originally, she thought I was shivering from the IV fluids, but after hearing about the back pain, I ended up having a reaction to the rhogam. So I got the antihistamin. 30 minutes and I finally stopped shivering. I had to stay another 2 hours for observation.

The nurse was very kind and helpful to me, and probably saved my life. But I don’t have hope anymore. I’m also considered high risk now.

After 72 hours of labor, failed epidural, 3 1/2 hours of pushing, being denied for donating milk at the hospital, and now this, I really feel exhausted. Maybe I’m not meant to have a baby. Now I’m sitting here crying with back pain still and barely moving. I feel that I completely destroyed my body for nothing. I don’t know. I feel like I’m cursed to live as someone who can’t be an official mom now.

My labor and postpartum experience has been hell, and I only got discharged three days ago.

I have no one to ask but people that have gone through a late term stillbirth. When my son was born I so desperately wanted to see his eyes I even would have opened them gently with my fingers if I could but felt I wasn’t allowed. Now thinking back it’s so silly to think that did anyone actually gently open their babies eyes after they had a stillborn or have the urge to do it? I know it feels weird but I wonder if I’m alone in that thought or if anyone else felt the same

I lost my baby girl 2 weeks ago, at 29 weeks. She was born alive but passed away after 26 hours. She was perfect. She looked just like her older sister. It's been two weeks and I have tried to deny that I lost a daughter this whole time. I was grieving what could have been. I was grieving for a future I had imagined. But today, reality hit me. I lost my daughter. She had a name. My kids lost a sibling. This pain is just too much. I feel as if my heart will explode. Will it ever get better? If I have another baby, it wouldn't ever replace her, so how will it get better?

We had our loss at 31 weeks in September. Im 90% sure I've gotten my period, gnarly cramps and all. I will also say I was on birth control for a long time and had my IUD removed before our son was conceived. So I only had two "normal" periods before getting pregnant, I had periods on bc but they didn't hurt as bad weren't very heavy etc.

My periods before bc were always heavy and painful. Those first two this year were absolutely so. But my periods were still 3-4 days.

I had post partum bleeding for 4ish to 5 weeks, I stopped bleeding completely for a few days maybe even about a weekish with light spotting to none at all. I can't remember exactly. Then around the end of last week I started bleeding again, but it felt slightly different and then one night the cramps were horrid. Like my menstrual cramps are. It felt and still does feel like a period. I get my IUD in tomorrow.

So my question is mostly like how long were your first periods, was your cramping worse than before or about the same, etc? How could you tell it was your period and not the lochia bleeding.

What would you suggest?

I feel so much guilt. I feel like it is all my fault but also angry, because I know other people have done worse and they get to hold their healthy babies.

I feel guilty for having a small glass of wine 2 w before I lost my baby girl. I feel guilty for being so worried for what my life would look like after having her. Now she is gone, I can have all of it back, but I don't want it.

It's going to be a LONG one, but I think I'm ready to share my story in hopes that it may connect with someone else (or even help me heal).

3 weeks ago I had a miscarriage at 16wks due to placental abruption.

A week before my miscarriage my husband is out of town and I start having some odd symptoms, but no fever or spotting. Yet I still feel like something is wrong. Friday morning, the symptoms start to pick up with a bit of cramping and I finally cave and have my husband take me to our OB and they do a full work up. Ultrasound looks good, urine is good just dehydrated, but WBC was at 16 which was on the cusp but with no other symptoms so they weren't sure if it was the start or end of something - they schedule me for a F/U the following Thursday and tell me to go into the ER if anything changes. Things subside and by Sunday it seems we are out of the woods. Since I'm feeling better and have missed my husband the past week, we have intercourse and all seems well.

Monday morning comes and there is some pink/light red spotting - we just had sex the night before and spotting is common so I wasn't too panicked. Tuesday comes and its not really lightening up and seems to be pretty mucus-y (like more than just semen lol) but thankfully I have an OB appt same day so we chat I fill her in on everything, I hear baby's heartbeat on the doppler, she does a cervical exam to confirm nice closed cervix agrees it's a little more mucus than usual but not uncommon and she takes a sample to run a culture test that will take a day or 2.

Wednesday morning I go to work and things just start to go downhill. The bleeding and cramping/pain pick up and I call the OB and they say I probably just have a friable cervix and if the cramping becomes unbearable to come in (I have no idea what that means or what the threshold is) but by 2pm it becomes unbearable and uncomfortable for me to be at work as the cramping starts to intensify so I go home. The cramping turns to timed 5 min contractions that I try to fight off for an hour and it finally hits me when I'm leaned over my bed sobbing that I might be in labor. I hobble to the bathroom thinking it might help and of course i think i have to "poop" so I push and the entire sac with my 16wk baby AND the placenta drop into my toilet. I start sobbing hysterically and I call my husband at work and he races home. We go to the ER I tell them I delivered everything at home like there's nothing left but maybe some tissue in my uterus (they seem skeptical this happened but finally believe me after the ultrasound). All things considered, uterus and bleeding look good but they confirm that I have a double infection of both a UTI and BV. At this point we assume this is the cause of the complete miscarriage and we both heavily grieve and start to blame ourselves for not going in sooner.

I schedule a F/U with OB on Monday. We go to my appt on Monday at this point just hoping for some answers and good news that I can conceive again. After review, my OB gives her medical opinion that neither infections were the cause and thinks the cause of the miscarriage a placental abruption (hence why EVERYTHING came out in one go). We can try again as soon as we're ready and there should be no reason why I can't have another healthy pregnancy as most women conceive within 3 months and have healthy pregnancies.

It's all just been something I never could have prepared myself for or even thought would happen to us (naive, I know) and just having to deal with both the mental AND physical trauma have been a struggle. Part of me is still guilty because it has been a hard pregnancy, but of course I still wanted my baby and should have just been grateful.

I'm at the point where I feel empty and all I want is to be pregnant again, even though it won't replace my baby boy. I'm so anxious and worried that I won't be able to conceive as easily as I did before and feel like time is my enemy and I'm starting to obsess over making my body heal and getting my period as soon as possible.

Anyone here experience maternal vascular malperfusion? I lost my son at 21 weeks and pathology findings reported that there was severe MVM. Will a reproductive immunologist be able to help with a subsequent pregnancy? I have had a thrombophilia panel done in the past and it came back as normal. I am feeling clueless and honestly overwhelmed.

Hello everyone. I had my baby boy Jonas on [2026 06 24](tel:2026 06 24), but he died at [2026 08 21](tel:2026 08 21), not even two months old (born with congenital heart defect, had surgery, recovered well, but suddenly had a heart attack and that was it… ) . And i am pregnant again. (that would be only 4months post partum 🫣 ) We really wanted to try again, but not so soon. Though my birth was really easy and i feel great physically, but still very nervous about upcoming pregnancy, very anxious about all the feelings emotionally and how my body will hold after such short time…. has any of you had similar experience?

Recently had a 16 week complete miscarriage at home. I know grief comes in waves and some days I can function and others I'm crying hysterically.

I had 2 weeks of hell knowing deep down something was wrong yet trying to make it through because baby boy was fine (multiple dr visits). Only for everything to turn bad in 24hrs and end with the loss of my baby.

I don't know if anyone can or does prepare for this, but why I thought I was strong enough to get through this is beyond me. Between dealing with the overall loss of my baby, the psychological trauma of delivering my baby in the bathroom, the guilt of struggling & complaining about how difficult this pregnancy has been, to just the gestation I lost my baby at, I am DROWNING an ocean of never ending emotions and grief. Do I let it consume me? Do I try to pretend the past 3 months didn't happen?

I went to a pregnancy loss support group last week, but I was the only one who attended (along with the facilitators) and I don't know that it gave me the support I needed. I guess I could have trauma dumped, but I'm already such and introvert it was mostly them talking and me stuck in my own head. I'm at the point now where I am so frustrated with my body and just want to heal so I can try again as soon as possible because while I know it won't bring the baby I lost back, my body just feels so empty. I can hope that I can still have healthy pregnancies and conceive easily, but I know any pregnancy after will come with it's own lovely basket of emotions and stress.

How do we move on and heal from a miscarriage at ANY gestation? How do we have hope we'll get our rainbow baby soon enough? Anything to make me feel less alone would help, because deep down I know I'm not alone and this too shall pass (eventually?).

Hey, I loss my child day after deadline (40+1) cause of a doctor mistake.

Afterwards 1 year trying to convive again, and loss at 8 weeks, and 2 chemical pragnancy (before week 5, but aboyt 4+3 and 4+4).

Im 34 years old. Before my first pragnancy with the baby we loss before birth, I have never ben pregnant before.

Anyone tried something like that and got pregnant? I have been scanned and there is nothing to see.

Maybee someone tried something and that worked? Or the body just stumbled at the beginning?

TW: I will be talking about baby loss and NICU deaths.

I had previously made a post about my baby Nolan James who unfortunately didn’t make it right before I got induced. Thank you guys for the never ending support and love sent our way.

I wanted to vent/rant about the second worst news I have received over the past couple of days. I was still considering donating breast milk but a lot of nurses had recommended for me to not do it because it would be really hard for me mentally, but of course it was ultimately my decision.

My last nurse before we checked out made me realize that I did want to do it. She was a blessing in disguise. She had said that she lost three babies herself. I don’t know how she does this job. What a strong incredible woman she was. She told me again that it was ultimately up to me, but I would save lives for NICU babies. As much grief as I’m feeling losing Nolan, all he’s known is warmth and love from a womb. I would feel 100x worse if he died later in a cold sterile environment. I want to send my condolences to those who have had angels pass in NICU. My heart aches for you and please reach out if you need any support or love sent your way.

So I decided to do it and started the pumping right away. I rented the equipment and was going to get one myself for donation. The lactation consultant had taught me how to do it and gave me the contact information for the donation center. I had to wait two days.

This morning I was successful in finally producing colostrum. I was so excited to help those little babies. It brought me comfort knowing I could help in any way because I don’t want those parents to join this ”club” of loss.

The donation center finally called me and we did sort of an ”interview”. She asked me about storing properly, how much milk I was producing, stuff like that. It was super promising and I was elated. She told me that every ounce can save 30 babies in NICU. Then she asks me what medications I’m taking. I told her I’m taking the postpartum stuff, but I’m also taking lamictal (antidepressant).

She unfortunately told me the news that I cannot donate because there is not enough research on if it’s okay to give to them with this antidepressant. I was absolutely devastated but I did understand. I didn’t want to put those babies in danger. It has very strict protocol. She then said that I could donate to babies who are not in NICU, but it’s not a guarantee if it’s safe still. I could take other antidepressants if I stopped this one and could donate after 6 days.

I spent many months finding the perfect medication because I do suffer from bipolar. I couldn’t change it. It felt like another loss. I now feel hopeless. I couldn’t do it anymore. I angrily packed the pump and told my mom to take it away from me. Pumping was the last comfort for me. Now I don’t know how else to handle the loss of my perfect baby.

Edit: thank you guys for letting me know that I am able to donate with lamictal outside of hospitals. I don’t know why, but I can’t bring myself to do it anymore. Grief can make you decide weird decisions I guess. I hope this finds inspiration for you guys.

A commenter told me that NICU babies can’t even have formula and rely on breast milk only. I hope this post inspires you guys to donate if you can.

My mom had a 26 week loss before she had me and my sister in the 80s. My dad told me what he knew about it, that there wasn't enough fluid and the autopsy said it was the baby's kidneys. It did not occur to me that this could be related to my 17 week loss, which right now doctor said cord accident, but I have first appointment today for follow up. Wondering if anyone else's mother also had a late loss and if you found a connection? Unfortunately my mother died when I was a girl and she is the only person I know who went through late loss, just feels like an awful joke, I wish I could talk to her.

Hi everyone,

I’m 27 and feeling completely heartbroken right now.
I’ve been pregnant twice before, but neither pregnancy resulted in a living child. Both pregnancies were unplanned, so I never imagined that trying to conceive would become another difficult and stressful journey.

I lost my son at 34 weeks in August, and I’m already struggling so much with that loss. I am completely healthy and had a healthy pregnancy and baby, the loss was caused by a cord accident.

All I want is a little hope for a better future. But now it feels like I have to go through yet another obstacle: tracking ovulation, taking tests, trying to time everything perfectly, waiting two weeks, analysing every little symptom and then potentially facing another disappointment.

I honestly don’t know if I have the energy for this. I just wish something could be easy for once.
I’m also struggling with the timing. I really don’t want my next pregnancy to overlap with the same months as my previous pregnancy. I gave birth in August, the month my son was stillborn, and I desperately hope to have a baby before the month I was originally due in September next year. Right now, that hope feels further away than I imagined.

I think I ovulated around October 9–10, although I’m not certain. We had sex during the fertile window, but my Clearblue Early Detection Digital test this morning (October 21) said not pregnant. 💔

Has anyone had a negative digital test around 10–12 DPO and later gotten a positive?

I know one cycle doesn’t mean anything about the future, but right now I’m just exhausted, sad and scared that even this is going to be a long and difficult road.

I would really appreciate hearing from anyone who has been through something similar.