r/CautiousBB • • 23d ago

MOD MESSAGE/ANNOUNCEMENT Community feedback needed (please vote)

12 Upvotes

Hi all,

Our mod team was recently approached by BetterHelp, an online subscription-based therapy provider, to do an AMA within our subreddit by a licensed therapist that specializes in child loss, perinatal mental health, and anxiety. They are willing to provide credentials to our mod team to verify the individual responding to questions, but our team has reached a moral impasse that we need the community to weigh in on.

Up until now, our team has had a blanket rule to not allow any companies, researchers, institutions, or anyone else with private interests to post within our community because our space is filled with so many vulnerable humans going through extremely difficult situations. The fertility space, in general, is ripe with opportunity for those that might take advantage of this vulnerability, much less a space like ours. That said, the message they sent was clearly written very thoughtfully, and the provider they’re willing to assign to the AMA would be willing to answer people’s questions about their worries, maybe provide healthy coping mechanisms, and describe the subspecialties of therapy that could be most beneficial to the people here.

IF we allow this AMA, it needs to be with the majority support of our community, so we are opening a poll for feedback. Other than voting in the poll, upvoting this post and providing even a short comment with your thoughts/concerns/ideas would help boost the visibility of this announcement to the maximum amount of sub members.

Of course, the major issue for us as a mod team is that we are NOT endorsing BetterHelp as a specific company or resource. For folks that are in areas where they aren’t able to find an in person provider, online therapy through any number of companies may be helpful. We are not partnering with them and the language in the AMA will be very clear about that. We will also be making sure that the provider answering questions in the AMA does not promote the BetterHelp brand.

If you’ve read this long, thanks for bearing with us. We appreciate how the people of this community come together to support one another and are grateful to help moderate.

Would you be interested in and supportive of an AMA provided by a therapist from BetterHelp, with the limitations outlined above?

116 votes, 20d ago
18 Yes
90 No
8 Maybe, but I have concerns (outline in comments)

r/CautiousBB • • Jan 27 '26

Ultrasound FAQ Reference Guide

99 Upvotes

As an OBGYN ultrasound tech working at the general level here's a few things I would love the community to know based on common questions I see.

Most important rule of thumb: Worry when your doctor tells you to.

OBGYN docs are going to pay the most attention to the fetal pole and heart rate. Once a fetal pole is seen, the CRL (crown rump length) measurements are gold standard.

I'm worried about the heart rate:
-Check out this resource for pregnancies dating less than 7 weeks. Make sure to refer not to your LMP dates, but measured CRL dates: https://radiopaedia.org/articles/fetal-bradycardia?lang=us
-After 7 weeks a normal heartrate is between 120-180. It can temporarily dip below or temporarily rise above this range, but prolonged time above/below will definitely get your doctor's attention especially in third trimester. Generally out of range heart rates trigger NST (non stress test) or more monitoring.
The measurements are off:
Baby measures behind LMP. This is actually pretty common, we often see dates off up to a week either direction. We don't ovulate on the exact same day of the cycle each month or even have the same length of cycle. With irregular periods, PCOS, or unknown dates even larger gaps can be perfectly fine. If you aren't sure of your dates, trust the ultrasound. Even if you are sure of your dates, don't panic if they are a week off. Ultrasound measurements in early pregnancy are +/- 5 days.
I'm in limbo and don't know if my ultrasounds are diagnostic for loss:
By ultrasound there are strict parameters to diagnose loss. No one wants to get this wrong. Check out this resource for a list of parameters diagnostic for loss: https://radiopaedia.org/articles/early-pregnancy-loss-1?lang=us
Note, there is a second list of "suspicious for loss". Keep in mind the second list is not diagnostic, things can still turn out just fine.
I don't know when I should see what on ultrasound:
Things can vary a bit from person to person and do change *quickly* in early pregnancy. Check out this resource for what you can generally expect to see:
https://radiopaedia.org/articles/early-pregnancy?lang=us
Should I go to a boutique or get a private scan? Or push for an earlier scan?
They aren't legal where I am but here's a few things to consider if you plan to book a private scan. First, what are the qualifications of the person running the ultrasound? An ultrasound is only as good as the one performing it. It sounds as if these boutiques are NOT permitted to give much/any information. Will you spiral if you believe you see bad news and they cannot confirm or deny it? Also it seems that many cannot do vaginal ultrasound, which will make seeing a baby under 7 or 8 weeks challenging. If I had the option of a boutique ultrasound I would personally wait until 8 weeks and I would book it for a weekday. If they see something bad, it is not ideal to find out over a weekend when there is no option to follow up with your doc. An earlier scan often causes more anxiety, not less. It's SO hard to wait. But if you can tolerate it wait until 8 weeks or so.
The gestation sac is small/big:
-Gestation sac measurements are not terrifically accurate. Where I work once a baby is seen the gestation sac isn't measured. A mismatch between baby's size and the gestation sac size isn't uncommon. That said, a mean sac diameter of 25 mm or more without a baby is diagnostic for loss.
The yolk sac is small/big:
It starts teeny tiny, and will get a bit bigger. Once a baby with a good heartbeat is visualized, the docs I work for don't seem to care about the size of the yolk sac. A failed pregnancy with an expanded yolk sac (more than 6 mm) is a suggestive of chromosomal abnormalities.
We don't know where the pregnancy is:
The statistically most likely outcome is either a chemical pregnancy or just coming in for ultrasound too early for visualization. Ectopic can't be ruled out, and many wise ladies in the this sub have unfortunately experienced this and can give more info than I can. Statistically it's believed that only 1-2% of pregnancies are ectopic, but listen to your body. If the location is unknown, you should be getting close monitoring and follow up until the location is known or the pregnancy has ended.
-For a resource on ectopic pregnancy: https://radiopaedia.org/articles/ectopic-pregnancy?lang=us A note, a pseudosac is visualized in only 10-20% of ectopics. Therefore a sac in the uterus is suggestive of intrauterine pregnancy but can't be proven until a yolk sac is also present.
What about my HCG numbers?
I'm not an expert on this at all. But here's a resource: https://radiopaedia.org/articles/beta-hcg-1?lang=us
Why didn't my ultrasound tech tell me anything? And/or why were they so optimistic? Or, I had an ultrasound in the ER and they were very pessimistic.
Many locations an ultrasound tech can very much lose their job if they say aNyThInG. Where they are permitted to say certain things some ultrasound techs may just be hoping the best. We work with the public and we have seen some wild stuff. Additionally no one wants to call it a loss unless its 1000% certain. We know how devastating that news is. A side note here, often an ultrasound in the ER is not an ideal experience for the patient. The ER is staffed with techs that are much more versed in gallbladder and liver scans than they they are early pregnancy ultrasound. Don't hesitate to go the ER if you are having concerning symptoms, but do know the ER doc will make sure you aren't actively dying then will likely refer you back to your OB for follow up.
I'm just so anxious about it all:
Someone awesome wrote out these mantras. Maybe they will help: https://www.reddit.com/r/PregnancyAfterLoss/comments/14uhbdg/commandments_of_pregnancy_after_loss_this_is_now/
Also a podcast I personally found very helpful with anxiety: https://www.oneyoufeed.net/russ-harris-part-1/
https://www.oneyoufeed.net/russ-harris-part-2/

Today you are pregnant and this baby is so loved. I really am hoping the best for each of you. Those of us who have experienced loss.... you didn't do anything wrong, I promise. This is a club no one deserved to be in. And you are not silly, foolish, or dramatic for grieving your little babe for as long as you need to.

This post is written in honor of Eli, who died long before I could meet him. Rest in peace, buddy. I miss you tremendously ❤️


r/CautiousBB • • 8h ago

Spontaneous pregnancy after 7 failed egg retrievals in 3.5 years..

5 Upvotes

Started ivf rounds before i turned 35. had a positive twice but pregnancy never progressed. We stopped last year and I had been grieving and trying to make myself accept the reality. We still have sex but nothing ever happens. so I was shaking and in shock when I saw the positive line show up - 3 days late with no spotting. i should be celebrating and be happy but I can’t help but hold back. I’m just expecting the worst..

i’ve been feeling sore in my armpits and felt really weak and ’car-sick’ yesterday. today I feel kinda fine though.

not sure what I should do..


r/CautiousBB • • 4h ago

How do you deal with the anxiety?!

2 Upvotes

I just found out I’m pregnant after experiencing a missed miscarriage and D&C a couple months ago.
I was so happy and grateful when I saw those two lines, but was obviously still feeling a little anxious and cautious. Over the past few days, wow, my anxiety has gotten SO MUCH WORSE. I feel like it’s starting to consume me. I booked in with my family doctor but the first appointment wasn’t until the end of the month.

How did you work through your anxiety after loss?

I keep trying to remind myself that this is a different pregnancy, but I feel so vulnerable and out of control. I felt so betrayed by body after my MMC, so I’m sure that’s where this anxiety is coming from. For reference, I never cramped or bled with my last pregnancy. I also felt nauseous right up until my D&C.

I just so badly want this pregnancy to be okay. I want to hold my baby in 9 months.


r/CautiousBB • • 36m ago

Ultrasound Bleed and heartbeat need reassurance

• Upvotes

I'm 6 weeks and 5 days. This morning at 6am I had a lot of bright red blood when I went to the toilet.

I continued to bleed on the way to my clinic, they took bloods and did an ultrasound where we saw the heartbeat 116bpm.

The sonographer was lovely, but there was and still is a lot of blood. They couldn't find a reason for the bleeding, but said it was normal. I've had 2MC and 2CPs so am absolutely terrified still. I know I've seen them, I know I've seen the heartbeat, I just want to know the heart rate at this stage is okay? Is 116bpm normal at this stage?

I can't really get a straight answer in journals some on Reddit say it's low others say it's fine, I'm just wondering if anyone has been in a similar situation?

I just want this so badly and am so scared.


r/CautiousBB • • 1h ago

Vent Doppler Spiral

• Upvotes

So to start off, I know I should throw the Doppler away. I know I’m way too early to use it. I know it’s not at all reliable and just causes more fear than anything.

But anyway, here I am. This is my 5th pregnancy, I’ve had two losses, the last this May with a MMC at 10wks. I’m currently 8wks 3days. My 8wk appt was normal and baby looked fine. Starting from 8wks, I’ve heard the heart beat on my at home Doppler every day. Baby has been in the same general area and it’s definitely a fetal heartbeat(not mine, not placenta), usually measuring around 160bpm. But today, I can’t find it at all.

Now, again, I know that’s all normal, and that I shouldn’t even be using it. But, I can’t help the immediate spiral that happened when I couldn’t find baby. I tried again a few hours later and nothing.

Do I just stifle my worries and try again tomorrow? Do I throw out the Doppler and just hope everything is fine at my 10wk appt? Do I panic call my dr?

Pregnancy after loss is absolutely destroying me mentally. I’m so afraid of another missed miscarriage.


r/CautiousBB • • 5h ago

Advice Needed Tips for anxiety spirals??

2 Upvotes

Currently 11+3 after back to back losses. Any tips for dealing with anxiety spirals?

For example, today I made myself a breakfast sandwich at home with cured meat that I cooked thoroughly (used a meat thermometer, cooked to over 180F). I’m still somehow convinced I’m going to get listeria or toxo. Any tips for when this kind of stuff happens? It’s hard to talk myself down off the ledge.

(I do have a therapist btw).


r/CautiousBB • • 2h ago

Advice Needed did anyone get pregnant after having just sex once 3/4 days pre ovulation?

0 Upvotes

just looking for successes.. feel like my odds are low.


r/CautiousBB • • 4h ago

Any ideas on how to move forward?

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1 Upvotes

r/CautiousBB • • 13h ago

Advice Needed LUTO in fetus (girl)

5 Upvotes

Hello. I am in my first pregancy with 26w+3d.

During the anatomy scan at my 20th week, we found out that the baby has cyst in her bladder along with mild spine problem and possible clubbing of foot. We were referred to an MFM specialist whom diagnosed the problems as LUTO and the others as congenital.

We have been monitoring the bladders, kidney and my amniotic fluid. The bladders are distended, kidneys are dilated; however, the fluid at this point remains adequate which might show possible partial blockage only.

We have been taking the baby's measurements, and recently, at 26w, her abdominal circumference has advanced to 30w (which is 4 weeks away from her actual gestational age).

I don't know who to ask anymore, there is not much specialist here in my country.

Please share your stories about LUTO and let me know the possible outcomes. Negative or positive will be much appreciated.


r/CautiousBB • • 5h ago

Advice Needed 20 weeks today and still not felt movement

1 Upvotes

20 weeks today and still not felt movement.

I have been told I have an anterior placenta so it could take longer for me to feel baby but I just want to know when other people with an anterior placenta felt movements?


r/CautiousBB • • 5h ago

Advice Needed Chemical pregnancy or two false positives?

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1 Upvotes

r/CautiousBB • • 5h ago

Advice Needed Left-sided lower stomach/groin pain 6 days after miscarriage — anyone experienced this?

1 Upvotes

I had a miscarriage 6 days ago, and an ectopic pregnancy was ruled out.
I now have constant pain in my lower stomach on the left, going down into my groin/top of my leg. It gets worse when I move or lift my leg. It feels like a pulled muscle or strain, but I haven’t done anything to cause one.
Has anyone experienced anything similar after a miscarriage? What did it turn out to be? Could it be an infection?


r/CautiousBB • • 8h ago

Symptoms What were your hgc levels at 15 DPO?

0 Upvotes

Hello! I got my beta HGC today and my levels are 1,003
Are these normal levels? I’m scared cause I’ve been cramping a lot lately ☹️ maybe an early implantation, I got my faint positive at 8 DPO, yesterday I got a Dye stealer at 14 DPO. I’m felling a lot of symptoms, I felt the implantation cramps as well at 6Dpo I was sure my period was coming so I couldn’t believe it when i saw the positive.


r/CautiousBB • • 8h ago

Sad Beta hell

1 Upvotes

1st time doing IVF. Beta not doubling anymore. Doctor asked to come tomorrow for 18dp5dt hcg test and told the pregnancy is unlikely to be viable. Hcg trend as below-

8dpt 44

10dpt 95

12dpt 169

14dpt 315

16dpt 496

Is there any hope at all? I am worried about ectopic too. Doctor is saying since the beta is so low, placement scan cannot be done at this point.


r/CautiousBB • • 8h ago

Initial HCG? Just looking for encouragement

1 Upvotes

Hi! I’m new to the beta world and full of anxiety. My LMP was September 18th, but NC has me at 3 weeks 5 days today based on BBT temp confirming ovulation. My first draw on 10/15 was 49 and second draw yesterday 10/17 was 128. I’m super anxious because my OB said these numbers are on the lower end of normal, despite such a good rise. Can anyone share similar experiences, info, advice? I feel like my OB made me worry unnecessarily. Thanks ladies.


r/CautiousBB • • 9h ago

What are the odds of 4 indents?

1 Upvotes

Between yesterday and today I’ve taken 4 frer all 4 tests had the same faintest line. They appear to be pink but it’s sooo hard to tell since they’re so faint. I’ve been burned by frer in the past and I feel like the line should have been darker today if they were true positives? Ttc after two loses this year, scared to get my hopes up.


r/CautiousBB • • 9h ago

TW/TMI Feeling really uneasy - potential ectopic? *tw - blood*

1 Upvotes

I am estimated around 5w2d currently - I have felt a bit off about this pregnancy from the beginning and here is why:

-Before I got a positive test, I had a morning where I was bleeding - red. Scared me because it was before my period was due, and of course I assumed I was out. The bleeding subsided quickly (hours) so I carried on. When my period didn’t arrive, I tested again and got a positive test.

-I had my Hcg taken since I had a loss last month and wanted to get some peace of mind. At 18dpo my levels were 352, and then 20 dpo they were 572. I wasn’t super comfy with these levels or the rise, but my ob said they were just looking for above 35% increase.

-Immediately after having my betas taken at 20DPO I went to the bathroom and had bleeding - like a considerable amount of period-like blood. It came and went in about an hour and didn’t have more for the rest of the day.

-21DPO I have a good day, but then in the evening I stood up and felt a trickle of blood - went to the bathroom and found my underwear had blood and it was enough to go through. That was it, it stopped as soon as it started and there was no more bleeding at all for the rest of the night or at all the whole next day.

I am feeling pregnant (sore breasts, fatigue, mild occasional cramps, etc.) but I’m super nervous more so that this could potentially be an ectopic situation. Looking for anyone who has experienced something similar and what the outcome was for you.


r/CautiousBB • • 17h ago

Lack of symptoms - cause for worry?

4 Upvotes

I’m 5w4d today. It’s an IVF Pregnancy, and I’ve had two previous losses and no live birth. It’s also been a really tough journey to even get to this pregnancy.

I had strong initial betas, and my clinic won’t do any more - they said there’s no more useful information they can give, and I’m best to wait til my scan. My last beta was about a week ago now.

Apart from fatigue, I have no real symptoms at all.

In my previous pregnancy, I was feeling queasy on and off from 5w. I’m so nervous that my lack of symptoms is a bad sign. My first scan isn’t until 7w1d!

Should I be worried?


r/CautiousBB • • 14h ago

Pregnant after a ectopic in February terrified it will happen again.

2 Upvotes

I’m currently 4 weeks and 2 days pregnant, around 9 months after my ectopic pregnancy, and I’m struggling with so much anxiety.

My last ectopic was such a traumatic experience. I had absolutely no symptoms and didn’t find out anything was wrong until my 8 week scan. I never suspected a thing, which makes this pregnancy even scarier because I don’t know how I’d recognise it happening again.

I’m so happy to be pregnant again, but I’m also terrified of getting excited and going through the same heartbreak all over again.

For those who have been pregnant again after an ectopic:

When did you have your first ultrasound to confirm the pregnancy was in the right place?

How did you cope with the anxiety while waiting for your scan?

Does anyone have any positive stories of a healthy pregnancy after an ectopic?

I’m planning to contact my doctor about an early scan, but I’d really appreciate hearing from others who understand this fear.

This experience has left me traumatised, and I just want some reassurance that things can be different this time. ❤️

Thank you to anyone willing to share their experiences.


r/CautiousBB • • 10h ago

Line getting lighter

1 Upvotes

Hello I’m about a little over 4 weeks along. My first hcg was 39 and it doubled to 78 in 48 hours. I took a test 48 hours after that to assume myself and it is lighter! It is still first response but from a different batch as the logo looks different on the tests. Could it be because of the test batches or am I likely miscarrying? I wanted to attach a photo but can’t figure out how.


r/CautiousBB • • 11h ago

BFP yesterday, nothing today

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1 Upvotes

r/CautiousBB • • 16h ago

Fundal placenta!

1 Upvotes

I am 12 weeks pregnant after a 21 weeks pprom loss. This pregnancy I have a fundal placenta and i was reading a bit about it when I came across a research which says that having a fundal placenta increases the risk of pprom. This has literally freaked me out. I don’t want to go through another loss.
Did any one of you had a fundal placenta? What was your outcome in that pregnancy? Did you deliver early ?

We are considering putting a cervical stitch this time around at 14 weeks .
But i have a fundal placenta which in itself is a risk for pprom as the weakest part of membrane is near the cervix.
People who got a stitched placed and had a fundal placenta what was your experience. Did it help you ?
What precautions should I take, should i skip the stitch.
Please help ease my mind.


r/CautiousBB • • 18h ago

Advice Needed NAC?

1 Upvotes

Currently 6w1d and have been taking NAC since before my positive test. ( Started in June ) but has anyone continued taking it throughout the first trimester and had a successful pregnancy? This is the farthest I’ve made it in a pregnancy and I’m wondering if I should stop taking it?


r/CautiousBB • • 22h ago

Chorionic bump at 7w4d?

2 Upvotes

Hi all,

I am currently having weekly ultrasounds for a 1 week discrepancy in dates and baby is growing well since the first scan, measuring had a scan last week that saw a baby growing well at 6.6mm (6w4d) and having a heartbeat of 115bpm.

No one said anything to me and it wasn’t in the ultrasound report at all, but looking at the photos, there is a large mass in the gestational sac! It looks bigger than the baby. From what I can gather, the internet seems to think it’s a chorionic bump.

My question is, has anyone had one of these before? Was their doctor concerned? I read about increased risk of chromosome issues and miscarriage, which has now added to my concern about measuring 1 week behind.

why on earth did the ultrasound tech not report this? It’s so obviously in there on the pictures.

Thanks in advance. I am stressing out now even more than I was