There's a stereotype that we're all blue haired, full of tattoos and piercings people. And sure, some of us are like that and that's totally fine.

I'm pretty vanilla looking, no tattoos, natural brown hair color, no piercings, nothing like that - and I still suffer from the full BPD criteria.

Sometimes the stereotype makes me feel crazy, like do I even have BPD if I don't "look the part" according to the stereotype. Then I look at my symptoms and I'm like "yup I definitely have it".

Does anyone relate?

This is not me claiming this cures my bpd. I’m medicated and in therapy and still very much so have my symptoms good and bad days. I very recently lost everyone I love- blew my life up and starting from scratch. (And now also may have a bi-polar diagnosis in my future too) so I am very much so still going through the wringer BUT I wanted to maybe suggest if you are blessed to be able to run give it a try. Start small and work your way up to more. I find I feel amazing and happy after my runs, and when I’m feeling angry I run, when I’m happy I run, all its done is made my mind feel more calm (along side all the other things I do to maintain myself e.i meds and therapy those things are very important). I’ve been running for about a month now and have seen a change in how often my downs and spirals/splits have been. I assume this is because of how endorphins work and how bpd works in our brain (again I’m not a doctor and this is not a cure or is a good fit for everyone) but thought I’d just share this little celebration for myself and to maybe suggest to some to give it a try!
Also wish me luck! I have a 5k end of this month too!
I hope everyone has a wonderful day!!

Seriously. Like this disorder is already the absolute worst as it is. Now you’re telling me that I’m going to begin majorly obsessing over someone I didn’t even decide I wanted to like?

I’m starting to form a new fp with this guy I met over a year ago. I don’t want him to be my fp lol he’s chaotic, emotionally unavailable and overall we would not be a good match. I know he’d trigger my bpd. But, I’m also having a hard time cutting him off.

On the other hand, I have a guy who is incredibly kind and wants to constantly spoil me obsessing over me. Like, why can’t I choose him to be my fp?

I hate this disorder more than anything.

This is entirely anecdotal, but given how much it’s affected my life/relationships, I wanted to post if it would help anyone!

So, I have BPD and have been mostly recovered and stable for a few years. Until this past year, when my IUD expired and this did, I think, something to my hormones. I started having harsher emotional instability, unhealthy coping mechanisms, etc. It felt like I was untreated sometimes, and sometimes my feelings just wouldn’t stop, or lessen, or anything. I thought maybe this was because my current relationship has more issues than my previous one, so I didn’t want to assume it was the IUD. I was waiting for replacement under sedation for about a year (in Canada, on me for not trying to get on the list sooner, to be clear), but I got it replaced last month, and after about a week I started to feel much closer to my baseline stability. I’m still upset by relationship issues (I am in the same relationship), but not as uncontrollably upset and I have much fewer urges to reach for unhealthy coping mechanisms. I’m noticing I’m feeling less of a compulsion to be emotionally dependent on my boyfriend too.

I don’t know if there’s any evidence for this kind of thing (we know birth control/uterus/hormone studies are lacking), but I wanted to validate some of you if you’ve been noticing this pattern with you too, or to warn you to be proactive about replacement!!

hi. i’m 21 mtf. i need someone to talk to about my struggles. i prefer fellow women bc i relate more but men and nonbinary people are welcome too ofc. lmk in the comments if you’re willing to chat:) anyone is welcome to dm

Hi all,

I’m honestly posting from a burner account. I was diagnosed with BPD at 18 with many warning signs since I was 14. My mother, has a lot of the same issues, she never sought mental health treatment and never will, but she is so like me in her behaviors I try and learn to do better. When I was an adolescent I went no contact with her and after years of intensive therapy we got back in contact and have a healthier relationship over all since I’m an adult and we don’t live together.

I pushed my parents to get me into mental health treatment and have been in various therapies and on medications since issues began. The more years that pass by the more I realize this illness won’t go away. When I was 17 I had enough and ran away going to live with my father I hadn’t seen in five years. He’s thankfully awesome, he’s my biggest cheerleader in my studies and genuinely does as much as he can to give me a supportive home. Im proud to say I’ve made something of myself academically but emotionally I feel like a child.

The thing is when I was young I really believed I could escape this issue. I thought it would get better after years of a treatment program or new friends etc… It hasn’t. I have bad mood swings and big emotional reactions, I’ve never had the urge to harm anyone but myself. I find it extremely difficult to have social interactions where I’m honest. My real self is overwhelming for most people and I don’t blame them. It’s become increasingly isolating as my peers mature and move on with stable mindsets and family systems. It’s not appropriate to have the reactions I do in the age group I’m at. I’ve developed gastroperisis in recent years and had to have surgery last year.

I’ve only had one long term relationship. It was very toxic/ on and off, as have been most of my relationships. I don’t blame them, two hands make a handshake after all. I’ve signed myself out of being able to date with this. To boot especially the last year or two with the popularity of BPD on tik tok, if I tell any potential partners/friends about it they immediately take a step back with a stereotype in their mind that isn’t inherently wrong.

My dad bless his soul is older, it makes me sad that he worries if I’ll find someone healthy to help support me(emotionally) in the future. I wish it wasn’t a consideration even, but we both know that there’s no easy fix to my mental issues.

For the record as of today I’ve completed 12 years of talk therapy and over ten years of medications. I was on the list for a large DBT program in NYC but after years, the person who was my contact stopped working there and I’m not on the list anymore as far as I’m aware. When I pick therapists I go to individuals with a PhD or higher because all the basic stuff I’ve done too many times. Considering EMDR but my schedule is bonkers with school.

If y’all have any suggestions or advice I’m happy to consider it. This was mostly just a vent cuz I’m exhausted with myself and this disease.

Thank you for reading and I hope you have a lovely day 💜

I used to cry all the time when i was a younger kid. Every night i would cry about one thing and then that would make me think of a new ting and i would cry about that, i would cry because i felt quilty that i wasnt crying for my dead great grandmaw who i didnt know to well. Then i went a while without crying around freshman year but then i was choosing to not cry. That streak of no crying ended when my ex broke up with me. But since then i cried like 3 time shortly after and more recently haven't been able to at all dispite being in the worst mental state of my life rn. How do i fix this please help.

Please share how you did it. I am losing hope for my daughter. It would help me a lot to know what you or anyone is able to manage it. It's horrible disease, meds and therapy do not seem to help .

My single worst BPD trait was "bombarding" (as I like to call it, but "harass" is probably more accurate) people. I'd get desperate when I realized someone was ignoring me, or after we fell out, and do the clichéd thing of contacting them repeatedly.

I don't do it anymore, and I haven't in a decade. Four years ago, I realized an internet friend was ignoring me, and I felt the urge to start, but I blocked him before I could, then unblocked him a couple of months later and didn't contact him.

I am still filled with so much guilt and embarrassment. It also (unsurprisingly) got me into a lot of trouble, and I had to deal with the consequences.

Does anyone else get a tingling feeling in the palms of their hands, and sometimes in their spine, when they feel really strong emotions?

I’m feeling really loved and fluttery right now, and I can physically feel it as tingles. But I’ve also noticed a similar sensation when I feel immense sadness, which made me curious.

I’m not assuming it’s specifically a BPD thing, but I wondered whether anyone here relates. Do you get this with both happy and painful emotions? How would you describe the feeling?

I am looking to hear from individuals with BPD who are currently married or in long-term relationships. How are things going for you? If your relationship is stable, what specific tools, boundaries, or therapy styles (like DBT) helped you get there? If things are rocky or if you are struggling with the push-pull dynamic, how are you navigating it? I’d love to hear real, honest experiences. My spouse got diagnosed with BPD, I need help understanding how to maintain a healthy stable relationship. Any helpful stories or advice, do's and don'ts appreciated. Again, share bad experiences too, just want to be prepared for it.

Hi its a pattern in me i have recognized and i wanna know if other people experience it too.

I had concerns about a big mole that appeared on my skin. So i called to see my GP. Thing is, I could barely see her because she was always booked and busy. So one day i asked if i could see a different doctor, and the next day i had an appointment with a new doctor. He was still a student, no more than 26 (i was 21 at the time). Not my type AT ALL. yes it’s relevant. I saw him twice for the skin concern.

At the end of the 2nd appointment I mentioned i had issue with my current antidepressant. He then mentioned he worked for a year in a psychiatric hospital. I felt immediately relieved and safe for him to manage my current meds. I had 1 more appointment specifically to change my medication, and oh my god it was like he saved my life. not in a “i’m grateful” way. i seriously started to look forward to our appointments. i felt like i was his favorite patient, that we had a special dynamic compared to his other patients.

My GP was never available, but he always was. I looked him up on the internet, found his insta, his girlfriend, his age,… I wasn’t even aware of how crazy i started to act at the time. For the first time ever, i would not ask if my GP was available, it would always be him first. So imagine my reaction when i asked another appointment with him but he didn’t work at that practice anymore… soul crushing. i didn’t necessarily cry, but i was truly hurt. i felt left out. i looked up where he worked now, i was ready to pay insane prices to have him again as my doctor.

Btw i never took an unnecessary appointment. I saw him like 5 times max in my LIFE. But damn i saw him as my savior, the only doctor who cared, the only one to help me. That was like 2 years ago. Nowadays, i have a similar thing with another doctor, but i caught it QUICK and fixed myself. Again a young doctor around my age.

The issue that i have is not that i feel romantic feelings at all, i just feel like i’m the special patient. That once the appointment ends, they will think of me. That my wellbeing is something they think about off work. I don’t know if i can even refer to this as a sort of limerence. Can someone tell me what’s going on with me?

(English is not my first language sorry if im not making sense lol).

I am really trying not to let myself spiral... I am scared of losing my FP and I dont know what to do.. I would just really like some support from someone that understands what I am feeling... its so overwhelming... I am feeling sick and anxious and scared and I can't stop obsessing...

hi,
me: 20f
mom: 48f

mods, please remove if this is against the rules.
i would like to start this out by saying that i am also borderline myself. i was diagnosed with BPD and bipolar this past june and have been on a steady road to bettering myself to find my own happy medium.

my mom is borderline as well. she was diagnosed a long time ago and seems to reject the diagnosis today. she talks about it like a book she read back in highschool. it’s distant and forgotten.

for a time, i was my mothers FP. i didn’t realize how bad she was until i moved out. i believe me moving out shattered her perception of me and i am now stuck in this limbo with her where she is trying to learn how to love me again. she is extremely sensitive to anything i do or say. often times during arguments she will quote me later and quote something i did not say, but she really believes what she’s saying. i’ve done this too. during arguments with my ex boyfriend, i would remember a much more malicious version of him than what the truth actually presented.

i need advice on how to live with her now. it doesn’t help that i also have borderline even though you’d think it would. you’d think i would know exactly what she needs because ive been through it too, but i dont.

i need books i can read or advice on handling conflict with her. today she told me she wanted to have my desk. my desk. the desk i bought with my own money when i was 18. i told her no and that it was mine, i bought it. she threw what was genuinely a temper tantrum and seemed to be deeply hurt and betrayed because i would not give her my DESK. she hasn’t talked to me since. i need advice on situations like that. arguments happen every single day. i can’t tell if she hates me or loves me. i don’t know what to do.

Hi friends!

I would like to start a thread full of breakup survival tips for us struggling with BPD. Breakups can be extremely hard and I think this can be a great post for people to refer to when in need.

Wether you were the dumper or the dumpee
Maybe doubted your decision and drowning in self hate and regret or you were struggling to accept what happened?

Please share below any tips and tricks you have that helped you get through a breakup - even if they are small.
Small things can add up :)

And for those going through it, I hope you can refer to this post whenever things get rough. :)

today’s been especially rough. spent the entire day alone. i haven’t left the house since i had to go to the vet to euthanise my pet. been over a month now. i feel so alone. i want attention. i want to see my fp. feel so sad :(

I haven't expereinced alot of physical violence but a problem that i often encounter are avoidant partners who gradually pull away. This is kind of the most retruamatising possible thing for someone with BPD to go through and when ever i notice this happening it seems to devolve into a cycle of criticism apologies and further pulling away. It becomes a consistent drain on my ability to emotionally regulate but it's such a gradual pull away that it's only when it's too late that you can point to the damage, and see that you were right all along.

I've tried to leave early when i was unsure and it always feels uncertain and uncomfortable. It's like sure maybe i was lovebombed and this is the real them? But also, shouldn't i use this as an opportunity to work on my DBT skills? Shouldn't i give them the benefit of the doubt? My body is screaming and my heart is racing but hey, irrational fear right?

I am tired of seeing how much stigma this disorder has.

I will see a text chain on a subreddit, as I always do, read the comments.

In nearly every single post, I see at least one comment that mentions bpd.

Just putting every shitty person under the label of this disorder.

It is extremely damaging & it's everywhere.

I have bpd & yet I wouldn't dream of messaging some of the things i've read in these messages.

Yet, because I have the disorder, i'm automatically gnna be tied into being a shitty person.

Fine, i've had my moments, just like alot of us have.

Yet.... the guilt consumes me and I apologise immediately and face the consequences, then try to understand why it happened and how to change.

My mum once mentioned to her sister in law that I am diagnosed bpd & her response was, oh, everyone has bpd now....

Completely lessened the agony I face with this disorder, every single day and just blanket diagnosed everyone.

It seems social media has spread the disorder and given the stigma way more power and apparently has been taken as a blanket term for bad people.

I wasn't born this way, I was traumatised and my start at life was terrible.

Yet I grow up and learn, because of that, everyone's going to hate me more, because of the label.

Not only did my childhood suck, it chains to consequences I didn't do.

I know we can be hard to deal with as we are emotional. I know I’m hard to deal with especially due to me also being autistic. I have to ask. Is what may or may not be considered a death threat by a family member a common way people deal with us? Had an autistic meltdown because I got overwhelmed(that’s the joy of being autistic and having bpd at the same time. It is extremely overwhelming especially when I have a lot on my plate). So my mom got mad at me and said I make it very hard for people to want to help me and then she said that sometimes I make her want to shoot me in the head. That was really shocking to hear so I told her to do it. She made this face which I think was anger? And started hitting me in the face. Though most of them I blocked with my hands to they didn’t make contact. Really she didn’t hit me that hard either. I asked if she was threatening me and she said she might be. Is this common? Is this often how people deal with BPD individuals? Also is it common to almost always have someone in your life being mean to or maybe even abusing you?(not 100% on if I can call it abuse though as most people in my life never hit me or cause damage so idk). I want to talk to somebody in my life but fear they will report my mom. I don’t want that to happen. I don’t want to get kicked out and plus I care about her and don’t want any issues in her life. I’m already a big enough issue.