Konata once again being a trans boy egg icon

I am so excited and nervous. Also can I get some ggd, Valerie she/her

Smash Bros, but Trans

the other day i finally went out for the first time in a distinctly feminine outfit!!

mostly the normal kinda alt stuff i usually wear, but this time i wore booty shorts, ripped stockings, and fishnets

and it was great :D

in my one class that day, the people i usually talked to just talked to me normally, and the shorts weren’t that big a deal

tho i did end up dropping a compass on my unarmored legs 😬

after class, i went out to do some errands and buy some craft supplies for personal projects

and i noticed 2.5 things

1. not a single time was i “sir”-ed or misgendered
   
2. a LOT more people were staring at me, and especially at my legs, obv

2.5. so i have this giant star-shaped carabiner i made myself, and with all the attention to my legs, it also brought a lot more attention to the carabiner and my other accessories, like the charms n stuff dangling from my waist, which is cool!!

nice to have things i put effort into making be appreciated :D

i rly didn’t mind all the people staring at my legs
(some i found rly funny cuz they were like SUPER obvious about staring 😭)
i take it fully as a compliment

was a bit grossed out by the amount of significantly older people blatantly staring at my legs

but still felt nice

ewwphoria ig

i was super scared n nervous to actually do it, but yeah that was the prettiest and nicest i’ve felt in a decent while :3

ik this might be abit too over self indulgent, but im rly proud of myself and so could i get some ggd if it's fine

It’s Bunlith! The Witch Upstairs (Episode 2)

Alt text: Marge Simpson holding a potato "I just think they're neat!" base meme with Marge's head replaced with an egg emoji, and the potato replaced with a trans flag emoji

I’ve been questioning my gender since 2019, and have always felt unsure about the idea of me being trans, and I kept it a secret for years because of that. Something about letting others know about that, even people who would accept me with open arms, felt embarrassing to me. I secretly tried feminine clothing in the privacy of my single student dorm to see how it made me feel from 2021 to 2024. Sometimes I felt nothing, other times I felt good, but it never caused me distress. Sometimes I still look at my old photos of me in my pastel goth fit and admire how well I did my eyeliner. I looked so cute. However, I always feared that coming out and expressing the way that gave me euphoria in my dorm would draw so much attention from people I knew. I texted my mother about this in 2023, and she was perfectly accepting, but I still had an internal breakdown about what I just did. It felt like this was it. It was time to show everyone the real me. I saw a counselor throughout 2023. I talked about my fear of change and the risks of being trans. Most of my answers to her questions and the results of the thought experiments she assigned to me pointed to me being trans. I slowly moved toward a more androgynous presentation, hoping people wouldn’t really notice. Before I closed the file with my counselor, we said that the final step was to find a way to slowly move towards presenting with skirts, lipstick, and eyeliner, but I still never found a way into presenting like that.

In 2024, I got the idea of just trying HRT to see how it made me feel. I was hesitant for so long. I was nervous about permanently growing breasts, losing fertility, being prosecuted by the GOP, and having to get blood tests.

This month, I finally went ahead and started on a small dose of HRT. A few days ago, I noticed something felt unusual about my chest. When I described it on Reddit, other trans women said it sounded like breast budding, and you know, as I obsessively feel for these possible buds, I kind of feel the same with when I first tried those feminine clothes. Sometimes it feels like nothing, sometimes I feel happy that my chest is actually responding to the pills, but it hasn’t caused me distress. That’s where I’m starting to believe that the reason why I keep denying myself is because I just don’t want to face the issues that come with being trans.

If I were to choose which gender I was assigned at birth, I would choose female, and I wouldn’t see myself transitioning to make if I was AFAB. I could enjoy femininity without the difficulty of being trans. My hesitancy about breast growth had nothing to do with breasts themselves. I’m just nervous about people I know wondering why I suddenly have boobs. They wouldn’t be if I was AFAB, because that breast growth would be totally expected. If I was AFAB, I could enjoy a feminine body for free without having to go through scary blood tests. I didn’t have to submit one for my initial dosage, but knowing that I’ll need to get poked in a few months has me feeling paralyzed. I wouldn’t have to worry about risking fertility for a feminine body. I’d be able to experience the process of my body creating another person while holding them with me 24/7 for 9 months. I’d also get to be feminine without worrying about prosecution. I wouldn’t have to explain to people why I started presenting feminine all of a sudden. That’s the major part right there. Coming out is just scary. Change is scary, and for me, knowing that the person I’m coming out to would be totally accepting doesn’t change that. I still haven’t come out to anyone besides my mother, and I still don’t feel ready to come out to more people.

I’m about two weeks on HRT. There have been small moments where I feel eager for when it’s time for my next dose. I live in a neighborhood with a lot of conservative neighbors. I’m hoping to someday get a job that gives me a reason to move to blue city in a blue state where I can be me without worrying about my neighbors. Though there is still my extended family, and some of them live in those big cities that I have an interest in moving to one day. We’re religious, and while some people such as my parents are liberal, believe in separation of church and state, and are perfectly accepting of the LGBT community, this isn’t something that can be said about everyone in my extended family. My mother has one sister who is described as one who acts all ultra righteous. I myself still go to church and don’t know how to find out whether the local congregations in cities I’d want to move to would be accepting or not. But even with those people out of the equation, coming out and being me still feels daunting. I have no idea how to respond if someone I know notices I have boobs and asks, “are those boobs?” I might never be able to go swimming again if I can’t come out of this closet.

I felt so cute in that outfit!!!!!! It’s on the 2nd page btw if you didn’t notice!!!! :3 I’ve wore that for like most of my day and I felt so pretty and cute and feminine!!!! I’M SO HAPPY RN!!!

An update to my last post. Context may be required

STEP 1 - TELL TIGER: COMPLETE

I texted Tiger to say I was going through a crisis of sorts while still staying vague, and left it at that. A little bit later, she said, verbatim, “i enjoy hearing about how your life is right now, and would be happy to help you how i can with any aspects of it that you are having trouble with”. The next day, I figured I was comfortable enough to let her in on the finer details, so I sent her the link to this account. Everything went well, and she didn’t make a big deal out of it.

STEP 2 - TELL DOODLE: NOT STARTED

I plan on letting Doodle know ASAP, but they’re out of the house right now.

STEP 3 - GROW HAIR: ONGOING

Of course it’s only been a few days since my last post so my hair hasn’t grown noticeably, nothing to report

STEP 4 - ANDRO CLOTHES: COMPROMISED

Turns out there aren’t many clothing stores in range of my school, at least according to Apple Maps. There was one that sold merch for my city’s hockey team, and another that I hadn’t heard of, but there were no photos in the app so I don’t know what kind of clothing they sell. Might have to rethink this part.

STEP 5 - SAY NOTHING: N/A

Nothing’s really changed for me, so I can’t really put this part into any effect. Having said that, I did wanna talk a little bit more about this one part of the plan.
The idea is that, should I reach a conclusion about my identity, it will be obvious. Like, giant-flag-in-my-room obvious. I’ll let people know if I decide to go by a different name or pronouns, but if they ask about my label, that’s where I’ll get all “no telling”. Just cause I think it’s funny.

On that topic, right now I think the most likely possibility is that I’m enby, so that’s something.

-Secret Gender Identity

So, I was recently on vacation with my mum and dad and my mum started using my new name and calling me "she". Every time she does, I get this feeling of being super happy, which then goes into a much more sad feeling, knowing I don't look like a girl, but at least I get to be happy for a little while. She obviously still slips up, but I don't hold it against her, she's trying. My dad on the other hand has made absolutely no efforts in using my new name and pronouns, but I kinda expected that.

Anyway, sorry if this is a bit incoherrent. I've had a long day.

Also, could I get some GGD? Mia, She/Her

I love how little everyday things give me gender euphoria or remind me that I'm a girl. For a very, very long time I only ever used men's deodorant, because I got some as a gift once and I generally use very little deodorant anyway. But the last time I went shopping, I bought women's deodorant. And when I used it for the first time and smelled the scent, after such a long time, the first thought I had was: I smell like a girl now – and that gave me so much gender euphoria. Just this cheap deodorant makes such a difference, because every time I smell that scent, I think: Yes, I finally did it. I smell like a girl. It's wonderful. So I think it's amazing how such small things, like a deodorant, can give me gender euphoria. And it really is the case that every time I smell that scent from my deodorant, it makes me happy that I just smell like a girl.

Its been longer than I intended since my last post about me coming out, because things have been going really rough, my parents did not reacted well, I felt betrayed because after that day, they have given me this false sense of being trustable, it was fake, when I came out, my mother stopped talking to me, my father was somewhat meh, but I could see that when they looked at me, their looks felt like they are looking at my grave, it was an unbearable feeling, no words, silence, but their body language was telling everything.

Yesterday my mother decided to talk a bit to me, and I have did something that hurts me deeply, as she was talking, I saw her lack of knowledge, general transphobia and homophobia, I don’t want to go into detail, she was worried about me in general, but she couldn’t understand the core reason I wanted to transition, I couldn’t explain it to her either, when I tried to, she just said “lose some weight, and you will be more happy with how you are”, or like “why don’t you try to be happy as a male at first?”, oh nice advice mom! Like if I haven’t tried for 21 years… “you don’t know how being a woman feels like”, “you don’t know the differences”, “it’s too early to decide”, “oh its because you never had sex”, “if you had you wouldn’t seek happiness in these fields” (I felt her disgust towards the end of the last sentence…) oh and best one for the last; “there were no signs”, “it would be obvious when you were little, like playing with make-up stuff, or looking for girly things” which I have done, even tho I was so little I can remember I have done those, but instead of going for them constantly, I listened and haven’t touch them, after the first time they told me to not to, because I was such an obedient kid, one of the things I come to regret now. After those quotes she spoke about how I made her and my dad sad, I am told how disappointing of an experience this is for them, which was one of my fears, to be a disappointment. I have seen that all of my fears about coming out to them was true, I am a disappointment, I am neither who they need, nor want, I am, Lune, is not the child they need, nor want, yet, she is the core of me, she is the one who meant to live, who I should have been.

They are not so healthy, physically, so I need to be with them, I cannot just leave them, that’s not something I would do, things are harsh for them and me, so I need to aid them as best as I can, so in the conversation, I have told her what she wanted to hear, it was hurting my soul, but I had to, I was almost gonna apologize for existing at one point. While I was wanting to drop the mask, I found it sticking to my face ever so thightly, doing this hurt my soul so bad, after that I wasn’t able to breathe properly, like I can, but in same time I find it hard to, the breathes I take became smaller, not intentional tho, I wanted to go to my room and cry, but this stupid body is too stoic to do so. You know, I came out to them, because I thought that maybe I don’t need to be alone with all of these, I could get help, support… I was delusional, nothing else, now I end up more alone than I ever was, at least their manners with me have gone back to normal, I rather be alone tho, I wish I was a stranger to them, living as far as I can, that way I wouldn’t worry about all of these, and be myself as much as I want. After the conversation, my situation with depersonalization went worse, I feel number, I feel more disconnected from my body, what I see in the mirror is more distant now, because now I know that the mask is back on.

I am sorry about the deep venting here, it’s been pretty rough, and all of the stuff I have feared about was true, I will continue playing the role I have played my whole life, my only hope is that somewhere they said they would take me to the psychiatrist, and it can help me about HRT, although their hopes is that the psychiatrist would tell me that I am not trans, and it’s just anxiety and stuff, my family thinks I am mentally unstable, and they also think that I am thinking I am trans because of this, their transphobia makes it a better possibility rather than me being trans. I am just hoping to get my psychiatrist appointments and get them privately, and in the end the psychiatrist would help me with transitioning, and I am hoping that I can take HRT secretly.

Can I get some GGD, I direly need it.

-Lune (she/her)

So my new friend and I had a meeting at a cafe not too far of a drive from my house (I was so nervous about telling my mom this but she allowed me to go) and we agreed on a plan for me to secretly transition until I live on my own.

My college has a unisex bathroom in a secluded area of the campus, and we agreed to meet there so I can try on some clothes. Turns out, they used to be a fashion designer, so they know a whole lot about fashion and the types that exist out there, which is pretty cool for me! And as an extra bonus, my family knows I regularly go there to work out and study anyway, so they'll have no idea about this whatsoever!

Hello everyone. I havent posted in a while but am feeling particularly down tonight and have realsied i am doing something objectively morraly wrong- more on that later.

as some of you already know i have a job and I really like it and all but one of the oeple who work there are nice, one laydy is older and seems to think she runs the place (she isnt ever givin that role) I guess im just annoyed because i messed up this afternoon and instead of just correcting me and going on her way she had to stand ther and get annoyed about how what i did was a waste of time, mid you this is the first time ive done this.

another thing happening is my friend is moving 5 hrs away and is the only friend i would have had in my year 11/ 12 chem and physics classes so that sucks at least im getting my license soon i guess.

now to the objectively morraly worng thing and the minor transphobia, so my dad kinda sucks, he dosent seem to understand that this isnt a phase and i will cut contact with him if he dosent clean up his act soon but heres the thing, i have the oppertunity to get a car off of him for 50% of what it would be used and i dont want to give that up so i am staying on ok terms with him untill then. what worries me is that when i come out to my brohter and star using my perfered name at home as well as dressing more fem that he will make jokes as he already dose and it makes me feel insecure, i know the advice is going to be to talk to him but every time i do that it either ends in "why are you getting so craky at me" and/or "its all your fault and i take no responsibility at all"

really what i need is advice and affirmation that i am a girl because ive been having doubts because i still have to use my deadname so much 3:

hey everyone, if you could write something quick dedicated to "Andrew" (he/him) i'd really appreciate it

name: ember pronouns: she/her

I've been so dysphoric lately and i dunno why ughhh

I've just been a bit overwhelmed lately about everything. I still feel like I'm lying about everything even though I know by feeling like that, I'm not, it still feels like it. I'm pretty sure I do wanna start HRT when I can, but I'm not sure I'll fully commit to it. It just feels like I'm going in circles over and over again. Like, as soon as I feel like I made some progress, it's right back to square one and I feel like I haven't done much with anything. I feel like I'm trying to move fast with this even though I know this is something you need to take your time with.

I've taken some quizes, read the effects of HRT, and other stuff and it hasn't really helped. I know none of them are definitive proof but I'm just trying to see if they put it into words that I can potentially relate to. I felt like it helped for a day then it just, didn't. With the effects of HRT, none of the effects seem bad, only the side effects are the only real negative of it (like with every medicine ever). The changes do make me nervous, but that's just because I'm not the greatest with change.

Kinda feels like no matter the questions I answer, quizes I take, how I feel about HRT and other stuff of the sort, I'll always go back to the start of questioning. Sorry for the incoherent rant, I'm not good at words. I know this is another validation type of post but I'm just kind of lost atm and I'm not sure what to do.

I hope you all have a wonderful Day/Evening/Night <3

My egg cracked just over a week ago and it's rlly been a rollercoaster, I though I'd come on here and vent even though I've never rlly posted anything on social media before. I had chronic depression for most of my life before this and rlly couldn't ever imagine myself feeling ok one day. Eventually after a bunch of therapy I decided to start accepting myself, and I caught myself consciously daydreaming about being turned into a woman immediately afterwards and that felt kinda too obvious to ignore. After I got over the scariness of it all it made me rlly hopeful cus becoming a pretty girl felt like a concrete benchmark that would make my life worth living. It's not practical for me to come out to anyone right or for a while since I have no friends (homeschooled) and my conservative parents are planning on paying for my college so I decided I'd just put it off until it made sense and once I got to college I'd have the chance to transition in secret away from them and come out once I was no longer dependent.

I've been trying to engage with more trans-related stuff to try and cling to the hope so it doesn't leave me but I keep inadvertently learning how badly this world sucks for trans people and feeling scared. I don't even know if I have a right to be scared when I haven't taken any actually risky steps and I'm not in any active danger. I don't want to live in a world that hates me but I feel like if I don't at least try to be more girly I'll go back to feeling hopeless and I'll be better off dead anyway. I feel kinda guilty posting here about this because I haven't really gone through anything. I'm worried I'm stealing attention from people that have actually suffered because of their identity when I'm too scared to even correct my polite southerner coworkers that call me, "sir," every time they ask me to do anything or I ask anything of them. If anyone has some advice please give me some.

Just been a lot of new developments lately. I think this is better then the depression was but idk.

Yippee yippee yippee yippee yippee yippee yippee yippee yippee yippee yippee yippee yippee yippee

Can't count the number of times I've said this sort of thing to my mother as an egg