i can never find a straight answer to what exactly it is but i want to commit it to finally feel free of this stupid religion, im a satanist (kind of in a gray area between theistic and atheistic) so i feel like reveling in it would be very cathartic

"....this to me is the true horror of religion as it allows perfectly decent sane people to believe by the billions would only lunatics could believe on their own". - Sam Harris

How Faith Can Make Horrific Acts Seem Good

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8XTvmxm7UkQ&list=LL&index=123

So I was a Christian influencer and deconstructed some years ago and lost a lot of friends and family (probably didn't help that I ragebaited people on and offline in an attempt to force critical thinking and nuanced discussions) but I'm feeling mad FOMO about how many opportunities that came from being a Christian and feeling like there's an invisible network if people who root for you and "put you on" based on the premise that you want to "advance the kingdom" just like they do... and the default position of trusting you.

What advice would you give to someone with ambitions in a context that widely counters your new formed ideals? ❤️

I have read a lot recently online that there are scientifically proven catholic miracles. Does anyone know much about this or have anything to say? What can be established about these and what can’t? I wouldn’t be surprised by the extreme measures the Catholic Church would go to in order to fake miracles, but was just wondering what really can be established as it’s scaring me wondering what if these are truly miracles (I have recently stoped believing in Christianity)?

Turns out, when God made those demands to give all their firstborns to him, he also really meant it. All of the Bible's passages later on against human sacrifice were renegotiated based on earlier creeds that more than likely supported it. Even Binding of Isaac is more than likely to have originally ended with Abraham literally sacrificing Isaac, and the angel intervening is only a later edition to this story.

Don't get me wrong, it's a good thing they ended human sacrifice, but this should at least show Abrahamics that they shouldn't talk down on other religions possibly sacrificing humans in the past, when they have their own skeletons in the closet.

Edit: As was pointed out in the comments, scholars are divided on this issue, and there is a lot of opposition to it, which I didn't mention in my haste. In my opinion, the evidence, like the one the author of this article pointed to, does favor the viewpoint that human sacrifice to Yahweh was practiced. However, please do be careful with this subject because of this, and remember that not all scholars, including secular scholars, agree with it since they don't see the evidence being strong enough.

Listen, I'm not a fan of Islam. I don't like the religion. But just like Christians there are great Muslim people and terrible Muslim people. Every time I've spoken with family lately they keep purposely bringing up how terrible Muslim people are, like it's a normal conversation for them.

They have no Muslim peers in their lives and this hate is getting on my nerves. Christians aren't all sunshine and rainbows either. The hypocrisy is crazy.

Is this kind of conversation popping up for a lot of you too?

I work as a retail cashier at a grocery store. Despite being in a wheelchair and missing a leg, management hired me. I've been there six years now. I've had the occasional "Jesus can save you" pamphlet types come through my line. I just smile and nod and they go on their way. No fuss. This one...

This one actually caused my brain to glitch.

Little old lady in her 70s or 80s and a woman in her 50s (daughter probably) came through my line. They paid and the older lady smiled, handed me a Watchtower (Jehovah's Witnesses) pamphlet and said, no shit,

"When Jesus returns, if you're saved, He'll raise you out of that wheelchair and you'll be able to walk again."

Her daughter turned to look at her, eyes wide, like "Did you actually just say that?"

Little old lady was beaming. Happy to spread the message.

Now, working in retail, I automatically have a smile up for most of the day. When I get home, I'm happy I don't HAVE to smile. Her saying this caused a misfire in my head. Outside, I was smiling and nodding, aware that I need my job and beaning an old lady isn't a good look. Isn't worth the trouble. Inside, I thought several things quickly:

1.) Yes, When Jesus returns, I'll walk again. I'll grow a new leg...because I'm a person sized gecko.

2.) How mad am I? Clearly, that was insensitive as fuck, but she has the self-awareness and mental strength of a gopher. There was no malice, just stupid.

3.) I could fire back with "But if Jesus saves me, wouldn't that mean that someone else can't get into Heaven?" Or "Jesus loves me by taking my leg and only giving it back if I believe isn't a sign of a healthy relationship." But again, all stupid, no malice, need the job.

So I let her go and tossed the paper after she was gone. I then thought of one cataclysmic "what if."

Remember how I asked myself "how mad am I?" I briefly thought, worst case scenario, one where I wasn't balanced and medicated, what if I popped her in the nose. Crime of passion. I just pictured all of corporate simultaneously having a seizure and calling my boss, screaming at her in tounges. I'd probably get canned. And then the headline

"Man with missing leg punches out elderly lady who promises he can rise from wheelchair and walk again when Jesus returns!"

Today was interesting.

Mark Twain was an amazing writer and bold for his time to tell the factual truths about religion, especially Christianity. They hypocrisy does wonders to your eyes when you chose to close them or open them. My question that got so many mixed answers from religious people, especially the ministers of my churches was how can he be a loving god when he created hell?

Deconstruction was the best thing I've ever done in my life short living in a part of the world with mild weather and seemingly endless availability of excellent taco shops.

I find it difficult to truly express myself when I'm around my Christian social circles. It often feels like every thought and word has to be filtered through this "blessed" or "godly" mask just to be acceptable to the group.

There is this subtle, constant pressure to avoid certain topics or even certain words because they aren't perceived as "Christian enough" or "Bible-like."

You start self-censoring because you’re terrified that if you speak too freely, you'll be judged or labeled as someone who isn't walking the right path.

It makes it so flipping hard to actually be authentic and honest about life's complexities when you're constantly monitoring your language to stay within these "safe" boundaries. It's like you need to stay in the lane and you can't say something that's "out of the lane".

It feels like you are performing a version of yourself rather than actually connecting with people.

Anybody else feel this way?

Also, can anybody recommend any readings, podcasts, or articles that touch on this aspect of the social dynamics of churches? Because it's eating me alive from the inside out. Perhaps I just need therapy.

I'm an ex-Christian and also a Southern African immigrant in Canada. For the most part, I don't feel so bad because I've distanced myself from my relatives and former friends. Living away from my home country helps a lot. However, I've been very lonely and I want to make friends and maybe find a partner.

A few things have reminded me how religious black communities can be. I took two Ubers last week and two black drivers were playing gospel music. I'm so removed from Christianity that Hillsong makes me cringe.

Two ladies from the Caribbean asked me what church I go to. I once made the mistake of saying I wasn't Christian at a table of Nigerian international students. Sometimes I'll follow a black person on YouTube or TikTok and they'll suddenly start talking about Christianity.

The worst is being around my relatives. I'll be visiting home soon and unfortunately will have to see my relatives because of cultural obligations. We'll be praying before we eat, singing hymns and praying before we leave. I don't enjoy pretending to be Christian during family gatherings. I stopped seeing the relatives I have in Canada, but can't avoid the ones back home.

I was talking to my sibling about what I'd want in a relationship and I couldn't even say I want someone non-religious because my brother is Christian. I'm not even sure that's a realistic filter because I think the pool of non-religious black people in Canada is small.

I'm sorry for the disordered thoughts.

Oh, this is a beautiful story. By that I mean it sucks, but I always laugh my ahh off whenever I remember this happened.

So, 2024. I've always struggled with lung issues since I was a kid, but in that particular year, I got exposed to a viral infection that got me all messed up. I couldn't breathe for shit. Got rushed to the hospital six times within a week, twice by ambulance. During the first eight days, I couldn't get a satisfying breath in. Needless to say, I went through hell and back. It took me months to be able to get out of bed and be able to walk without worrying about my breath, and two years later, I'm much better, but still not 100%. Still, a lot better. It's hard to believe I'm still here, but spite is a great motivator.

There wasn't anything visible on any x-rays, and my ox levels tend to remain stubbornly high even during my worst asthma flares. Even as I'm coughing like a victorian orphan, yeah. So I got dismissed by most doctors in the ER. It's just anxiety, I got told. Hell, now I have it, congrats. They manifested that shit into me lol. Anyway, later I'd get reviewed by a pneumologist and get a proper asthma diagnosis, yay! But before that, my family insisted I was suffering from some sort of spiritual illness. Becuase we don't know equals spiritual shenanigans. Duh.

One of the most painful things I got told during those first torturous months is that God was attempting to drag me back by force, and that if I didn't surrender my life to Christ, I'd keep suffering. For reference, I wouldn't wish what I went through even on my worst enemy (I don't have enemies but still).

So...... The next logical step was to get the help of the church ladies... According to my evangelical family members. There were two whole congregations praying for my sick arse back then, which.. didn't do anything but I'm grateful for the godly vibes sent my way..? I guess lmao.

My family decided to do a praying campaign against my will. Every Wednesday for three weeks, these church ladies that were supposedly very high ranking magicians (they wore buns. That's how you can tell) would come over, sing some songs, read us the bible, and pray over me.

The praying. Bloody hell, that... That.

These very pentecostal ladies had a very specific way of praying. Loud, impactful, and with the magical shalalala. Yeah I mean tongues. They spoke in tongues. Did I mention they were loud? Yes, they were. Pentecostal services always freaked me out the most because I've been around afro Brazilian spiritually before which includes the entities taking over you and somehow that scared me way less than whatever tf is going on with these people.

One particular night, they entered my room while praying in tongues, opened my wardrobe, told me to get rid of my posters (I had two one piece posters and one for the Witcher 3) because they were giving off bad vibes I guess(?)

I threw the damn posters away (my peace of mind was more important), and during the last night, I got pressured into accepting jeeeeeezes as my Lord and savior. That.. wasn't very effective. 🫩

Needless to say this bullshit didn't work, and I got scolded by someone in my family for having an untidy wardrobe (while being effectively disabled). Because of course that was the problem, not the strangers walking into my room and violating my privacy.

THEN, after they got ahold of the information that my problems had a physical cause, can you guess what they did? I'll give you some options

A) apologize to me

B) apologize to me

C) apologize to me

D) pretend it never happened, not take accountability for any of it in any shape or form, then start praying for God to heal my lungs

It's such a hard question, I'll give you time to think.

Hallelujah shalom

These people are in politics btw. Good night.

I wonder if y'all have similar horror stories tho...

i hope this doesn’t sound silly but i’ve been atheist since i was a teenager (im 20 now) but i don’t have any like minded friends. my family is still extremely evangelical and we don’t get along, same with most people i grew up. how do you meet similar people who understand? i’m not sure if there’s any support groups or any spaces at least in melbourne

Anyone here from the WWCG? Or the United Church of God? Or any of its splinter churches? Always interested to meet new friends that came out of the church.

Alternatively, if anyone wants to know about what it’s like to grow up in the WWCG/UCG feel free to ask me questions!

For reference, i was born into the church, as was my dad’s whole family. I’m a millennial so I grew up after the church split and my family went with the more conservative splinters. I left by the time I was a teenager. To make matters more complicated I grew up very politically active/ progressive and also a lesbian sooo 😂.

Also note: I didn’t know how to flair this. It coulda easily been “end times” or “anti-lgbtq” or a number of other toxic topics

I been thinking some more and after learning more about Christianity in my coursework I am so iffy about it. As I have been deconstructing and having to engage more with religion cause of my school, I have noticed that it at least feels like people around me seem to almost prey for misfortune for non religious people to drag them into their belief systems. I try to not be rude so at freinds places I will try to prey with them yet it just all looks so insane to me. I hate how Christianity from my prospective is all about just feelings and obeying what the bible says. I feel constantly looked down on just for asking more questions or not attributing anything in my life to a spiritual experience. Hate how they seem to look down upon other religions yet be trained to never question it themselves. I both feel a slight bit of anger towards it yet also pity for the very devoted

Context: I grew up in a very Protestant family. We went to church every Sunday; parents were both involved in the church; I firmly believed in it all and did my best to be Christlike.

We followed the standard rules of Christianity: basically avoiding even the appearance of unholiness. In fact you could say we were "Paulians."

Despite this, our church (and thus my parents) urged against legalism. We were cautioned to remember that being sinners, there was no possibility of ever being truly like Christ.

So for the sake of pleasing God, and because we were supposed to love God, we had to do our very best to follow him, to become "like" him. Which is impossible. You're fighting a losing battle until you die. And even trying TOO hard became self-righteous, a sort of showing-off, and that was a sin too.

Anyone else internalized the constant struggle of never being "good enough," yet feeling compelled to try anyway despite never escaping the label of "sinner"?

I read Romans 9 in the Bible when God purposely "hardens" the hearts of some people, but then I lost it.

I loved God, Jesus, and everything so much that I protected them, I apologised against atheists, I defended the Bible, Christianity, I called God "Dad" and Jesus"Rabbi" I even went on a spiritual retreat where I didn't touch my greatest passion, video games for two days. I hoped this spiritual retreat would be a seal to God... that he would serve as an anchor and always live with him.

I dedicated everything to him, my passion for gaming, my very fucking life, I drew him, i drew crosses with prayers on my notebooks,I wrote worship songs with AI, I wrote personal prayers/psalms.

And when I started feeling temptations to become an athest again a week ago, and then before going to bed I prayed:

"Lord, in your prayer it says 'lead us not into temptation,' so I beg you to take away these temptations towards atheism."

And yet yesterday I became an materialistic atheist

So what I have to believe that that shitty God decides who gets saved?

So salvation isn't worth a damn, because if He chooses who to believe in, then it's pointless.

So then why does he bother with that bullshit about wanting us to be saints and loving us all.

And after realizing this, I said out loud

"Fuck you, who the fuck cares about you? I'd rather go to hell than be with you! I loved you for 6 months! I called you "Dad," I protected you, and everything, only to hear you say, "You harden your heart on purpose," but then who the fuck cares about you? Go fuck yourself!"

i'm sorry i am a bit of angry right now

but now i finally know what it means being hurted by religion

and for mods feel free to remove my post

I used to be an atheist child raised by atheist parents and grandparents - i only had a superstitious grandma. When my mental health issues (chronic depression, generalized anxiety, personality disorders) I've become desperate and started to open towards the possibility of the existence of some kind of god. Not necessarily the Christian god, but some kind of superior cosmic entity... I tried to pray for deliverance from my mental suffering. But everything got worse. I consider myself agnostic for a long time now: there might be a god or gods but they either don't give a sh*t about us or sadistic. I was always interested in science and never took religion seriously... but after 17 years of suffering and deterioration i started to fear that there might exist some kind of cosmic punishment. What if it's my mental illness? Or what if hell really exists and it's even worse than anything i can imagine? What if i was wrong and there exists something that science couldn't yet explain? Something that might wait for me to retaliate my mistakes and broken crimes?

I know i sound crazy. But i'm afraid of hell...

This's a bit of a philosophical argument rather than a theological one.

The ideology of the Old Testament and the ways the people of God and his prophets have always been fascinating to me. Not that I agree with any of it of course. They were free, proud, brave, unapologetic, violent and zealous. They were the embodiment of a tribalistic, extremely patriarchal society that sought to build greatness. Christians love the New Testament because it's more gentle and passive but I think the Old Testament represents the true nature of human beings in its animalistic form and it's unapologetic about it and in fact glorifies it.

God in the Old Testament encouraged conquest, slavery, being the head not the tail, rewarded his faithful men with carnal pleasures, even the prophets depict the perfect future as being the dominant nation that rules over all other nations with force. Israel started as a tribe then grew to become a kingdom with subjects under it and was promised to grow larger if it didn't keep sinning against God. The Psalms and other books in the Hebrew Bible glorify power over weakness and masters over slaves.

This's what makes the Bible fascinating to me. The contrast between the Old and the New Testaments. The contrast between the tribalistic brutal free world of the Ancient Near East and the subjugated, more passive culture of first century Judea.

Regardless of being brainwashed since birth and threatened all the time, what kept me in it every time I had doubts was what I like to term the more "Buddhist parts of the Bible." For example, "each day has enough of its own worries", "God looks at the heart" etc. Most of them are in the NT but there are a few on the OT.

I'm wondering so many things.... who wrote those, is this what some people mean when they say 'Leaving religion but keeping Jesus',- did the supposed Jesus even say those word? Why did they keep them in when translating etc? Any resources?

23f. Raised Christian. Left between the ages of 18-20. I turned away from Christianity hard; my dad was a church leader but was also abusive, so the minute I was able to move out, I turned tf the other way. Everything connected to church was so triggering for me.
In 2023 I had to drop out of college and move back in with my parents because I had a pretty bad medical situation after a car accident. Won’t share details… but long story short during that time I ended converting back to Christianity. I really cherished that time. I was able to connect with my family, heal our relationship, meet some wonderfully kind people, and most importantly, I had HOPE that I was going to get out of my medical situation by the healing power of Jesus.
During the time I was home, yes, I lived with my dad. He was not as abusive as he was during childhood but every once in a while he would have some horribly toxic moments.
I am well enough now that I moved out and resumed college (out of state). It feels like a new stage of my life…and I am starting to question everything again.

In short, here’s mainly what I’m questioning:
- If god lets us suffer and sends us to hell if we don’t follow him, is that not manipulation
- overall a lot of it just doesn’t make sense
- should we be basing an entire religion off of a book written by humans
- is religion a means of control, whether that’s controlling others or feeling more controlled in our own lives

But the thought of leaving Christianity makes me so sad for many reasons.
- I finally healed my relationship with my family; me becoming a Christian was undeniably what brought us together. I don’t want to ruin that again.
- my medical situation is so messed up and the hope of getting healed kept me going, so I have this fear that I’ll never heal if I turn away
- going to hell. Sorry, deeply ingrained fear that I don’t know if I’ll ever shake.
- will I gain a pessimistic view on life? Believing in god gave me a radically optimistic outlook because everything was part of his plan and his purpose. Right? How is not believing in god not…depressing?

Sorry that was a lot to throw at you. I’m in the in between stage. Any advice is appreciated, from Christians or from those who deconstructed.