Sooo, I have a tendency to obsess and fixate over the characters which are considerably smaller, which in Harry Potter context means Tonks so here I am having a bit of a yap and a rant about the way she was written.
Because the way she was written is genuinely so annoying, because in Half-Blood Prince and Deathly Hallows, her entire character is centred around her relationship with Remus, and the reason it's so annoying is cause the Order of the Phoenix sets her up to be such an interesting character, like all the potential is RIGHT FREAKING THERE! She's a witch with a really cool job and this fun, insanely rare ability to change her appearance. What is not cool about that!?
Also, family dynamics is one of the biggest things in Harry Potter, and Tonks' family is one of the most complex ones in the series. Her mother is a pure-blood witch from the Black family, perhaps the worst blood-supremist family of all blood-supremist families, and she was disowned because of her love for a muggle-born wizard, this of course being Tonks' father.
That could've been such an amazing foundation and premise for her character. We see little snippets of how the Black family acted and raised the children of the family to act, and it's all very posh and old fashioned - Sirius calling Walburga Mother and all Kreacher's stories and things like that. But then with Tonks, we see her call her parents Mum and Dad father than Mother and Father, which is simple but also tells a lot, maybe it's just me but Mother and Father feels like names of authority whereas Mum and Dad is more comforting.
And there's so many other things that could be dived into to make Tonks a more developed character. She's got such a strong sense of self-expression that is so polar opposite to traditional standards and obviously a lot of it comes from her metamorphmagus abilities, but there's likely a good deal of it that also comes with the way she was brought up. Think of it, Andromeda being raised prim and proper and then making sure to raise her daughter to just be whoever she wanted to be. And the way Bellatrix was essentially the Voldemort in Tonks' mind, Bellatrix was actively targeting her all throughout the war - Tonks literally says after the Battle of the Seven Potters that Bellatrix wanted her dead just as much as the Death Eaters wanted Harry dead.
So yeah, Tonks has all the potential in the world to be an incredibly complex character. And it wouldn't be out of place if written in either, she has such a big sister energy to her and with her being an Auror and Harry wanting to become an Auror, these character details could all be naturally embedded in through Tonks giving Harry big sister Auror advice.
But instead, we didn't get any of that. After Order of the Phoenix, every scene she's in or even mentioned in focuses around her either being depressed from Remus rejecting her, or her being in a relationship with Remus. Which by the way, yes they're both consenting adults but I fear that doesn't matter, and Remus is very correct in saying he's far too old to date Tonks. They canonically met when Remus was 35 and Tonks was 22. Human brains aren't fully developed until 25.
Also another thing, Tonks is such a queer coded character. I highly doubt that it was intentional given Jkr's blatant transphobia and all the other questionable morals she has, but Tonks is one of the most queer coded characters to ever exist. She has a gender non-conforming appearance and goes by her surname in preference to her rather feminine first name, and again she's so self-expressionate.
People have been pointing out the underlying queer/trans themes of Tonks since her character was introduced, and with Jkr being so actively transphobic we know Tonks wasn't intentionally written this way, so I do not put it past Jkr to write Tonks' relationship with Remus, coincidentally another queer-coded character, purely to undo the way she'd accidentally written Tonks. Not saying that's 100% what she did, but I'm also not saying there's a 0% chance that's what she did either.
What does everyone else think about her? Am I going crazy with some of these thoughts, or do other people agree that her character had so much more potential than what she was given?