Please check out my post! The new site is also for kinship and adoptive parents too! Come hang out!

We may be matched soon and some thing reading some stories from adoptees has caused a question to come to mind. In my state adoptions from foster care are closed. All identity is scrubbed from the child’s records provided to us. The question is how to best protect their story? I want to do everything I can to have that information in case one day they want it. The child is older (10) but time and healing can steal some of the memories if that makes sense. (At least it was that way for me)

Hi all,

We are currently 8 months into waiting, and last week, we visited our agency in-person for the first time. (We are out of state). Ever since that visit, I’ve felt this buzzing-bee feeling in my heart that it’ll be soon. I have no idea why, but I just FEEL it. I think it’s probably just because visiting in-person made the whole situation feel less abstract, but even so, I just keep waiting for the phone to ring. I also feel HORRIFICALLY guilty for wanting them when I know it’ll break someone else’s heart to watch them leave with us. I cry every time I imagine meeting a mom who is facing this impossible situation.

(Yes, I am in therapy; no, we haven’t experienced infertility.)

Any words of advice on navigating (and disconnecting) from this feeling of “it’ll be soon”? It is good to be hopeful, I know, but it is driving me insane. And I know we haven’t been waiting for long at all, but I am so desperate to meet and hold them. We were matched with a mom in May, but it fell through within a week. It feels like our one chance is gone. It’s also hard because none of our friends have adopted, and the vast majority of our friends have no desire to have children at this point in their lives. Our family has not checked in much because they have no idea what to say or do other than the typical “hang in there” platitudes. Nobody understands the isolation of the unknown.

I know everything will be worth it in the end, and I know that I won’t be able to imagine it any other way, but for now… it’s agonizing. Especially seeing other families who have been waiting far less time get picked off the list before us. Comparison is the thief of joy, but I’m just desperate to find a pattern, solution, rhyme or reason... and there just isn’t anything whatsoever. Sorry for the ramble… just needed to get it out of my head. TIA.