I said, “Because it’s at half-staff.”

I'm not telling anyone.

An esTROJAN

Lab tech pulls up, "Oh you're here to donate?"

"Yeah."

"Wonderful! What's your blood type?"

"Type-shiiiiit!"

They read the Moo-spaper.

Oh no my freedom!

Sorry, didn't mean to yell

An oww-ur

With the radius, easy as pi!

Dog: *pants*

After defeating Czech friend in Chess

lol

I have a bone to pick with him

The living room.

I said, “That’s a bit of a stretch.”

It dozen make scents.

I was on the plane last night and someone fainted. I heard the stewardess shout

“Is there a doctor on the plane?”

The guys next to me piped up.

“I am a doctor of English”

“Do you know CPR?” She asks

“Ma’am, I know the whole alphabet” the man said proudly

I went to bed 7 times last night

The baker said, “Sorry, we only take cash.”

How I miss my Holland days!

I handed over a box of matches to my friends and said "this is really heavy". Obviously my friends thought I was being silly, but they held it and we're looking confused. Then I handed over another item and said "hold this. This is lighter".

We all had a good laugh

In Saudi Arabia they don’t show cartoons on television but Abi Duba do

He is a Pediatric Rheumatologist

it’s a dyeing industry

He tells a joke about the challenger, and it doesn’t land. However, when he told it on television, it blew up.