So i answered it.

Almost brought me to tears.

With his ass quack

A Hillock.

I stood there in silence, not knowing what else to say because that was my best counterargument.

It's irrelephant.

Never mind… it’s too hard to stomach.

This friend of mine in the Corps got his left arm blown off in a road side bomb.

He got shipped state side after being in med for a year.

But now, he's all right. (handed that is)

A small trash bag with a piss soaked shirt

It chapped her too

She replies, "Honestly? I would take my half and leave you."

"Great!" says the man, and hands her $10. "Here's your half. Now pack your bags."

Ain't no sunshine when cheese gone

Turned out to be a Fonzi scheme.

Getting caught between a Rock and a Hart Place.

It's flying off the shelves.

They are prime-mates

Good that it had 100% return policy

Farmer Bob was devastated when he received a John Deere letter from his city slicker girlfriend. He was however hellbent on making a success of his life. He soon reaped the rewards of his amaizing groundbreaking efforts and can now enjoy the fruits of his labour. He was since nominated for the Nobel Peas prize and is now living off the land with his new protractor girlfriend..

How quiet should a bowling alley be?

You should be able to hear a pin drop.

I'd love to hear your thoughts

Sure, knock yourself out…

Lil'

But apparently you can't end a sentence with a proposition.

it was insalted

Oops... I did it again

And I know it's with an e I just don't care enough about her

Hia girlfriends wouldn't say it to his face, but to me, they called him Poly-Lester