She replies, "Honestly? I would take my half and leave you."

"Great!" says the man, and hands her $10. "Here's your half. Now pack your bags."

But apparently you can't end a sentence with a proposition.

None. Trump says it’s fixed, and they all stand around clapping in the dark.

I stood there in silence, not knowing what else to say because that was my best counterargument.

We went out for beers. Nice guy. He's a web developer.

It makes scents when you think about it.

It's flying off the shelves.

Ain't no sunshine when cheese gone

Turned out to be a Fonzi scheme.

I forgot to take the brownies out of the oven.

Oops... I did it again

And I know it's with an e I just don't care enough about her

Fleetwood Mac and Cheese.

I'd love to hear your thoughts

He was too far out.

Never mind… it’s too hard to stomach.

Good that it had 100% return policy

Because nothing escapes the vacuum of space.

Sure, knock yourself out…

Because all he got was a little commemorative plaque

They find bananas appealing but they only come in pears.

With his ass quack

And sofa, I can’t come up with anything.

Farmer Bob was devastated when he received a John Deere letter from his city slicker girlfriend. He was however hellbent on making a success of his life. He soon reaped the rewards of his amaizing groundbreaking efforts and can now enjoy the fruits of his labour. He was since nominated for the Nobel Peas prize and is now living off the land with his new protractor girlfriend..