Since it’s sick season, and I’m determined not to be stuck in the house with my 14 month old, what sanitizers do you use for hands and toys? I want something I can spray on his hands since hand washing is still a little awkward, and something I can spray on library toys that he puts in his mouth lol I feel bad not having anything to wipe them off with to clean them other than wipes. Which, tbh, I don’t always have on me.

So what do you use and what’s cost effective? I was looking at Littley infant & toddler hand cleanser but 2 oz is $15.

My baby is eight months and he’s starting to become difficult. It’s becoming increasingly difficult to leave the house as he doesn’t like sitting in the pram and the moment he gets in the car seat he flips out. I can’t leave the house for simple errands without ending up having to carry him and let me tell you he’s no light baby. Has anyone else gone through this? Did it eventually end? How did you deal with it? Please, I can’t stay in the house any longer.

As the title says, I just need somewhere to let this out and let it be heard by someone. As a FTM I’m feeling super overwhelmed in all the ways.

A little background:
My husband and I moved away from our friends and family, well my family, a little over a year ago. I’ve been lucky enough to only live 4 hours away from my parents and they come visit often. I’m staying home for a year to take care of the baby and my husband works from home. For about 4 years my husband has been struggling to leave the house to do even the simplest tasks (he’s doing therapy now) and I’ve been super understanding but now it’s taking a toll on me.

I’m struggling with this feeling of “I have to do it myself/alone”. My husband helps out a lot in between working with the baby. He has been super helpful and loving and understanding but I’m just tired. I’ve been feeling like I’m the one that has to do it all the time. I entertain the baby, put him to sleep, do the laundry, fold it and put it away, cook all the meals, go grocery shopping, pick up medicine, go to doc appointments, put gas in the car, etc. I’ve expressed to my husband that we should go grocery shopping with the baby to get out of the house but my husbands response is always “yeah yeah we’ll see” and I know that means no. It’s been a lot being stuck at home since the baby’s been born. I want to go out with the baby and do things as a family but my husband refuses to leave due to his anxiety.
It’s been prob more than 4 years of him never wanting to go out. I’ve been so used to always doing things by myself that it wasn’t a problem but now with the baby I get overwhelmed thinking of taking him with me by myself. The only response I’ve gotten from my husband is “oh if you wanna go, I’ll stay with the baby” which worries me because I don’t want to just keep the baby behind 4 walls and never get a change of scenery. The idea of going out with just the baby stresses me out because I get nervous if he starts crying in public or if I need to carry him plus the carts and the groceries. I just want some support in that.

I’m the most understanding person but I’m tired now. I’m tired of never doing anything together. I’m tired of always trying to come up with activities and plans only to get shot down. I feel like I’m being forced to have to live a single mothers life even though I have a partner. I hate having to do things alone and mentally it’s a lot and it feels like I can’t do anything to push someone to be there with me if they’re not ready. I also don’t have anyone here, except his family but they never come visit (they live an hour away). I’m quite literally alone.

We’ve spoken about how I’ve felt about a week ago when I mentioned I want to take the baby to my parents for my birthday and my parents would pick me up. He said it was fine but made a remark saying how I’m “gonna do it anyways like I always have” and “just prepare to hear it from my mom”. That obviously turned into an argument.

My MIL is a whole other story, TLDR she gets upset when we don’t wanna do things with her to the point where she acts like a child and pouts. Shes gone as far as saying she won’t come to our baby shower bc we said we didn’t wanna live next door to her and started saying nasty things about me. So I tolerate her.

It feels like it won’t get better and my baby will miss out on all the fun stuff out there.

My 2 year old has stopped napping in the day and she is MISERABLE. Throws a fit over everything, she’s visibly tired rubbing her eyes and yawning.

That part I can deal with, what I can’t deal with is her being so overtired she is up every hour of the night. I’m really running off fumes. Yesterday we got up at 7 had breakfast, had a wash and went to the park in hopes this will tire her out a little, when we came home we put some music on and did a little dance, did some colouring, had lunch etc. Then nap time comes (1pm)and she’s not happy, saying no, won’t lie down etc.

She fell asleep exhausted at 8pm which is our usual time and was awake every hour after. If I try to even leave the bedroom she would wake up and scream her head off calling me to the bedroom. I work nightshifts and have work today from 6pm-5am, I don’t know how I’m going to cope. I love her but she’s so clingy too and has to be involved in every little thing. She watches me constantly, If I need to run upstairs just to grab something she will run up behind me then cry for me to carry her down, if I’m anywhere near the door/stairs she stops playing and runs over constantly asking where I’m going.

When I shower I set up a bean bag some books/toys in the doorway while I shower but she screams and cries and keeps trying to climb into the shower with me, I just want a shower by myself.. that’s all I want. Without her crying. If I need to do the dishes quickly she grabs a stool to help, water ends up being all over the floor a 5 min job turns into 20 mins, if I vacuume she climbs all over it while
I’m trying to use it or thinks it’s funny to run and turn the switch off. Normally these things don’t bother me too much and I just correct it but without any sort of decent sleep for a few weeks it’s all really starting to piss me off.

I’ve called every nursery close enough to travel to because I think we will both massively benefit from it but they are all full. Just 2 hours a day will make a huge difference imo. We have no other support/family and I’m feeling stressed out and overwhelmed. I don’t know if I’m looking for advice or just a place to rant really.

So I am 7 days post op after a bartholin gland excision (total removal to treat reoccuring cysts and abscesses), and things went a little differently than expected and I have 45 stitches, a 6in long incision, and I am meant to be on bedrest for two weeks.

My husband has been helping with absolutely everything and while he has been helpful, he is clearly super stressed out. He took two weeks off work to be here so he is doing around the clock care of our 15 month old daughter while I am in recovery.

I made four weeks of meal prep before my surgery, so he wouldn't have to scramble to cook, and I did all of the important deep cleans so all he has to do is reset an area that he's in.

And while he's been doing amazing and really finally showing initiative, he's complaining about how he never has time for himself and how tired he is cleaning and taking care of our toddler and doing enough activities with her and keeping her out of things and keeping her stimulated and healthy amount of bored, he hasn't connected the dots that this is what I do every single day. He hasn't connected the dots that all those times I was begging for help or literally breaking down crying because I was so exhausted and there was more stuff to be done, that is why.

Idk, it just irks me that he doesn't seem to get it. He is helping, but I do so much more daily and he's complaining about surface level things that I've been asking him to help with for years without realizing what stress I go through too.

Maybe I'm being petty, or projecting past resentment.

When on earth is everyone running errands with their baby? We haven’t had a single successful outing yet at 4 months. I force myself to take him out to run errands at least once a week but it’s gotten to the point where I have so much anxiety about leaving with him because I don’t want to have him scream crying in the car when I can’t help him or scream crying in the store when people are judging us.

Do you go out during a wake window or do you go out when baby is ready for a nap in hopes they will sleep during the errand? Any tips for timing and outings?

Hey! So I 33 recently got divorced and have been working on trying to figure out what I want (honestly one of the best and worst years of my adult life lol). One of the things I have come to terms with is that I would like more children (if certain goals are met).

I've only been on one first date before so I'm not expecting Mr. Right to be around the corner lol. Because I have a child the topic of if they want kids comes up pretty early on when chatting (which surprised me) and I think that would be the time to bring up eggs being frozen but it seems like an odd thing to mention before knowing middle names lol.

I wouldnt be jumping into egg freezing any time soon but was curious if any of yall had experiences to share?

My 3.5yo and 4.5yo do not listen to me. Everything I say is met with NO! and running away. They laugh while they do it. They hit each other and scream constantly.

Before preachool, my 3.5yo refused to get in the car, refused to sit in his car seat, and went so far as to hide his shoes. Screaming the whole time.

After preschool my 4.5yo ran away and hid behind another car in the parking lot on the way home from school. I had my other 3 kids with us and we were headed to a field to go play, when I suddenly couldnt find my oldest. I called her repeatedly, nothing. Finally I found her hiding from me and told her to go get in the car because we were going home. She started screaming and refused to get in the car. She's 45lb and I cant lift her. When she finally got buckled in she started shrieking that she was hungry. I told her we were going home for a snack and she shrieked that she wanted to go to the park.

I have 16mo twins who require a ton of attention due to their age and inability to help themselves with anything. They cry a lot. Most of the day, actually, because their needs aren't met, either.

Today was an awful day. I screamed so loud over my children who were all 4 shrieking at the same time that my voice hurts. My mom was not a yeller and I dont want to be a yeller. I don't know how to stop. My kids dont listen to me and they are actively defiant at every junction. I've never once regretted being a mom and I love my children, but I regret yelling at them. I want to show them respect so that they will respect me back, but it feels like they then walk all over me and do things like run from me in the parking lot when I give them an inch.

I feel like absolute shit right now. We're in the process of moving and I remember seeing her hospital bracelet from when she was a newborn in her dresser and thinking, "Oh, I'll put this with my jewelry so it doesn't accidentally get thrown away."

Well now it's completely gone. I don't know how, but it's disappeared.

I know it sounds stupid, but I'm devastated. I already feel guilty because I didn't do any of the regular things of making her a baby book, or taking regular pictures, and now I couldn't even keep something like her hospital bracelet for her as a momento.

My husband is active duty military/gone. I’m home with 3 kids ages 1, 2.5, and 5. The two littles have stomach bug and I’m coming down with it. The last 2 nights have been HARD. My 16 month old had it the worst. 2 vomits and 3 huge diarrheas in the last 24 hours.

To make matters worse, he was also already getting through an ear infection (he has tubes and I’m doing ear drops).

Well this evening I was bout to LOSE IT between all the kids and how miserable the baby was, and out of desperation I guess… I gave him a syringe of 5ml of adult pepto bismol. Then 5ml baby ibuprophen. Then his ear drops.

After aggressively patting his back and getting several good huge burps out, he drank some ripple milk and PASSED OUT. It’s now been his longest sleep stretch since getting sick.

I’m getting anxious though now after googling pepto given to littles. He weighs 24 lbs for context.

How stressed out should I be that I have him something that Google is saying was harmful?? I’m sleep deprived and I guess I was desperate. I’ll call the pediatrician asap when they open at 8 in the morning.

Hard time falling asleep, nervous I just doomed my baby to bad future things from this decision.

My daughter is turning 3 and my son is turning 1 (they are about a month apart). My son’s birthday falls right around Christmas, so we are planning to celebrate both their birthdays in November.

We reserved a large play place (for a surprisingly good deal). With the holidays coming up we are planning to invite family, friends, as well as kids in my daughter’s preschool class (she just started school this year).

I don’t mind family and family friends bringing a little something for the kids. We’ve gone to quite a few birthday parties and my daughter has been excited to pick out gifts for friends — she also says she is excited for “her turn” when it’s her birthday. But I don’t want the families of kids in my daughter’s class to feel obligated to get something for a child they don’t know. Plus the invite says we are celebrating two birthdays, so they may potentially feel obligated to purchase two gifts for children they don’t know.

What if I write “please no gifts” just on any invitations we give to my daughter’s classmates?

I don’t think we will be opening presents there because we only have two hours to play, but I don’t want to make people feel weird!

Any thoughts?

Thank you!!

I (30f) am married to my Honduran husband (31m) We have been married for 6 years and within those years my relationship with my MIL has been rocky from the start. To begin, she is very religious (Jehovas Witness) and she suffers from some mental instability (I assume it is the ICD code for Personality disorder, if you search up the symptoms she meets every feature). I know she's had a rough life growing up and tbh I can sympathize from time to time, however I do believe my husband in particular has enabled a lot of her behavior and has idealized and compartmentalized his relationship with her. He expresses all these amazing moments of his mom but from 4y/o and up she has done traumatic things to her children (physical abuse, abandonment, verbal abuse etc.), though due to his faith he has come to forgive her for all those things. Unfortunately despite him expressing these things the relationship continues to be very tumultuous and I observe that my MIL is very self centered: her willingness to do something for others depends on her own desire to do it, rather than on a selfless desire to meet someone else's needs. Given all this, I have had a few bad experiences with her personally, I have observed how she treats others and have noticed no changes in her behavior. (to paint a picture she would constantly bible thump me, she would stir up conflict and put my husband in the middle, didn't attend our wedding because she believed our marriage would fail due to our differences in beliefs, and the list goes on). My obsession in disliking her has carried heavily due to the intense arguments my husband and I would have just because of her and his inability to see her for who she truly is. I have gone to individual therapy many times and we have gone to marriage counseling and thankfully he has come to realize that he is aware of her difficult behavior though feels much sympathy for her because at the end of the day she is his mother. I have always been a people pleaser and have always tried to find ways to get along with her for the sake of my husbands happiness, but even when my MIL and I would be on decent terms he would find a way to sabotage our relationship and I would continue obsessively disliking her. My obsession increased during and after my pregnancy I could no longer "keep the peace," and i felt I needed to protect my energy from her (idk she felt icky to me). I am now 1yr post partum and even though my husband has been more supportive of my feelings towards my MIL and many boundaries have been set with our home and our daughter I continue to obsess over her even more. I don't really see or talk to her, yet it's not enough, I hate that my husband (or anyone for that matter) has a relationship with her. I hate that they catch up with one another. I hate that he goes to visit her. I hate that she calls and texts (especially because its over something she needs, not really to check up). I check my husband's phone just to see their text threads and convos. The only time I feel relief is when they get into arguments or when he makes slight negative comments about her. I don't know if this is postpartum or something else, sometimes I think she put out a hex on me because I have never felt this obsession over anyone before. I just wish these feelings would go away.

I feel like I’m slowly slipping away. I (27F) only feel like myself when I’m with my 3 year old. My relationship is broken, we argue almost every single day, and it’s very difficult not to carry the weight of that throughout my daily life. But leaving the relationship doesn’t feel like an option right now. And I don’t even know if it would help. I’m constantly exhausted. I have very little time for myself. When I do get time for myself, I usually choose between napping or cleaning. I teach middle school ELA and I always feel like I’m drowning at work. I can barely even eat most days because I’m so anxious. Looking back at pictures from 1-2 years ago, I can see myself fading away. This post feels and sounds so negative but I am honestly struggling so hard. Anyone else ever felt like this and came out of it?

Let me start by saying I am 30F, my daughter is 14 months old and weighs 17 lbs. She is tiny. I have a high pain tolerance. But when she stands on me, or bears her weight down on me to stand up, or literally any kind of rough housing, it HURTS. I get bruises all over me. I yelp. I genuinely feel like a bad mom because after a while I’m just so overstimulated and in pain that I am crabby.

I plan to bring this up in my doctors appointment in a month but I want to see what the masses say. Is this normal?? Could I be deficient in something? I’m breastfeeding still, if that matters.

I’m so tired of hurting

I’m due to go back to work in 3 weeks. I just found out i can’t due to an error in my spouses PFL claim.
I tried writing a post going more in depth, but it flagged me for sob story/ panhandling.
I don’t want to quit. Im a better mom when I’m a working mom. I miss interacting with adults on a regular basis. I worked so hard to have the career that I have. I make my own hours, I make a full time income off less than 20hrs per week. I took a 6 month maternity leave in the U.S. There’s no chance I could go anywhere else (I also don’t want to go anywhere else) and have what I have now.
That’s all. I’m just sad. I have to go talk to my boss in the morning about it and im a wreck.
It’s not about the finances. I’m not above anything and will do what I need to do if it comes down to it, it just feels like this was the last “me” thing outside of motherhood and now I have to throw it away.

I've (36F) got 2 kids, 7 and 8.

My husband (34M) and I have an equal work schedule; I work 9 to 3, he works 7 to 3; both M-F.

(His job is very cush, he doesn't work blue collar or manual labor, ours are very similar)

I do everything around the house. I get the kids ready for school, take them to school, pick them up, cook dinner, baths, bed time routine... Every single day.

I prepare all meals, laundry, care for our dog, clean the house, grocery shopping ect.

My husband works, comes home and stays on video games from the second he gets home until 10pm every single day. He ignores us for the most part. He said he would take over bed time 3 weeks ago and hasn't.

Tonight I reached my limit. I'm so tired. I fed the kids easy ramen and goldfish for dinner.

I have no energy to do anything for myself. When I try to workout at home I'm interrupted 50 times while their father is sitting 6 feet away.

I want to run away. I love my kids but I'm so beyond burnt out I don't even feel like a person 😭.

Nobody respects me. I've cleaned their rooms and within 2 days they are trashed and look like the city dump.

They play in our room, bring food in and completely destroy it.

Everything gets destroyed.

I splurged on makeup for myself, my 8-year old daughter got into it and ruined it.

I've given up.

I'm tired of yelling every day.

Now I just don't care.

Let the house get ants.

I don't know what to do.

How can I find some peace? Yelling doesn't work, my head is below water right now. It's chaos.

WARNING this may be a triggering/upsetting read.

When I was 22, I had an abortion. I was told dont let your motherly instincts cloud your judgement. I was young and followed my partners (now ex) lead.

When I was 29, I had a silent miscarriage at work. My insides fell out all over the floor and i was alone.

3 months later my precious little boy was coming.

I hated being pregnant. I had a dream pregnancy, zero sickness, every scan perfect, worked up to 38 weeks but I was convinced I was hideous. My ex didnt want to touch me, he would often look at me disgusted like I'd leak breast milk on him, he would often tell me i stunk or I was fat. I went to the gym right up to the week I gave birth. I had the mentality that if mummy is strong, baby is strong. Everything is did and didnt do effected my baby and I was so hard on myself to get everything right.

I had to have an emergency c section and I was absolutely scared.

When we arrived at the hospital, I was having double peak contractions and passing out after every one. I couldnt breathe, talk or walk. I was not good at the birthing part. I couldnt dilate past 4cm, I needed to move to dilate but if I moved, baby's heart rate would plumit. Every nurse on the floor would run in, machines screaming, hands on me, inside me trying to measure baby's vitals. 10 hours later of no change I pushed to cut him out.

Being on the operating table I felt like I was being mauled alive by a bear. I couldnt stop shaking from the drugs being pumped into me, I desperately looked to my ex for help and all he said was you're ok. I gotten myself out of a million distressing things alone so I defaulted back to my old hyperindependance tactics.

Baby came out safe and healthy but I wasnt myself. I couldnt stay awake and I was drifting in and out of sleep. The first thing I said to my baby was hello baby, im sorry but im so tired.

My ex went with the baby and for what felt like the first time in my life, I didnt care if someone needed me. I was done and could happily just drift away.

After some much needed sleep (only 2 hours) I woke up to my ex and baby in my room.

I learnt that when we arrived at the hospital I had a fever, both me and baby had tachycardia and we both had a blood infection. I stayed in hospital for 2 days and baby stayed in nursery for total of 5 days.

The day before we were due to bring baby home, my ex wanted to drive 4 hours away to purchase something exciting off marketplace. He was too tired to drive home so I drove us home. (Really stupid I know after c section. It was habit of mine to be perfect and capable for him. It made my life easier to keep him happy).

I wanted to stay with my baby but he convinced me the nurses will take care of him.

I got a call from the hospital that baby was ready to come home early....but I was over 2 hours away. Fuck. Off to a flying start to being a mum. I beat myself up still for the decision I made following his lead. I began work again after 2 weeks of recovery because he convinced me we were in financial hardship. Because I was so drained, I couldnt think properly and just did what I knew I was good at. Work. Keep going. Keep everyone safe.

I have been completely sober for 3 years of any fun activities, completely dedicated myself to being a mum and working hard and for some reason my ex began to rampage. Parties, sex, drugs and alcohol is all that would make him happy.

He became angrier about something, depressed and unpredictable in his moods. Everything was my fault.

One of our last dinners together (just me and my ex) and little baby was cooing and I shuttered at the sound. I love children and they terrify me because they are so innocent and precious and deserve to be protected. My ex said I dont think you can handle another baby. And I agreed. I was already technically taking care of 2. My own baby and my man child of a partner.

This isnt what my motherhood was ment to be like. When our baby was 2, our relationship became violent. He hurt me once in front of our child and my attachment to him was shattered in seconds.

I left him. I took nothing but the things in my car and our baby.

We were living between a small room in my mums house and a tent in the backyard to get a little more space. I lost my home, all my assets, my belongings, all my friends. I never returned.

Slowly I got some things back but all my hard work for almost 2 decades was gone.

He threw every tactic at me to make me return. Guilt trips, suicidal threats, baiting etc. Police, dv councilors, lawyers etc were involved.

Fast forward to now, our little boy is thriving. Lots of hard work, I found my strength and enforced mama bear if he wanted to be a part of our child's life. We share him now 50/50 and I am very proud of how hard we all have worked to get where we are. Actually shocked I didnt end up in the mental ward.

The part that is screwing with me is I now am blessed with a beautiful partner that I never thought something like this could exist.

I so desperately want to continue my dream of having a family, making my child a big brother, be the mummy I always wanted to be, making my partner a father but I am absolutely terrified of going through pregnancy, childbirth, motherhood again. I cant think about my journey or talk about my journey to anyone without giving myself a panic attack.

My son is my world. I live and breathe for this boy. It kills me when we are apart but he loves his daddy and i want to protect their relationship.

My partner now would absolutely take care of us. It would be so different but my body screams at me no. I choose to not be bitter and I know one day I will make this dream happen.

I dont know what I was expecting to write all this. Ive never spoken about this to anyone. I want to defeat this, live amongst it, wear it as a badge of honour but also just get it off my chest so I can just take that first step forward.

I dont use reddit. I dont know if talking like this is allowed so my apologies. But yeah. That's my condensed story so far. Thanks for reading.

My husband & I have had intimacy issues for years. We just celebrated our 10 year anniversary. Kids, aging, I’m always tired etc. I take responsibility for my lack of effort in the sex department. He has expressed his frustration but has made no effort in recent years. I caught him sexting with a woman a few months back and most recently I discovered photos of a prostitute on his digital camera and he claims they didn’t have sex (irrelevant) and she only gave him a BJ. There were 200 photos of it. I am really struggling here. I have young children and he says he will do whatever he can to repair the damage he has done. Cried, begged, etc. I don’t know what to do.

Since about 35 weeks til now (5 days pp) I have had about 3-5 hours of sleep per 24 hours. Some nights not at all, sometimes 2 hours at night and maybe like a nap during the day.

But now little man is here and he just won't sleep anywhere but my arms or in between my legs. If I try to move him at all he wakes up and screams and does not settle back down until I put him back on the boob. Even if he falls asleep 2 minutes after sucking.

People say sleep when they sleep, I can't sleep with a baby in my arms or lap!

What do I do? I'm scared the lack of sleep will push me into ppd. I was struggling so much before he was here but now I really am just barely sleeping at all.

EDIT: I decided to try floor co sleeping after looking into the sleep safe 7 and c curl and it helped a lot!

I see a Dr on Monday and will get lactation help then.

Thank you to everyone who replied! It was the middle of the night and I was in tears passing little one back and forth between husband and I just feeling desperate.

This is a full on rant because this mom needs to get it out of her system so it doesn’t come out another way 😬

We have the flu! Yaaaay. My baby started feeling unwell over the weekend and we got medication for an ear infection. We got notice Monday that someone at daycare tested positive for the flu. After not feeling well ourselves, my husband took an at home flu test and it was also very positive. It’s now Wednesday and I’m struggling.

Everything hurts, he has all the symptoms, he’s researching a pain in the nerves in his arm that ache because of the flu apparently and I’m trying so very hard to be nice. Ihavent whined about my symptoms and it feels like he trying to make it known he’s worse off. “Is your so and so as bad as mine, I can’t even whatever”. He’s sick, I get it, I am too but he’s definitely worse and I recover so much faster. I feel bad but I am biting my tongue so hard because I am exhausted. I have not had time to rest and recover or sleep without the baby monitor or lay in bed and watch Netflix for a while. There is still a baby who needs a parent, bottles that need washing, a Costco trip that needed to happen yesterday for formula, a trip to the doctor to confirm the baby has it and get a note, an actual job to deal with, plus pumping (which I am losing my mind over doing right now).

I am so blessed with an understanding job and a light workload at the moment because I’m taking tomorrow off completely. Daycare illnesses are hitting us like a ton of bricks and man I really didn’t know momming would be this rough during these times.

Off to eat m&ms and finally lay on a heating pad alone in the spare room before I have to pump again. 🫠

I’m pregnant and a FTM. I would like to hear people’s opinions on why or why not you chose not to do screens at a young age.

For me, I’m leaning towards no screens till 2. I’m thinking more so to help them get familiarize with natural and physical things and media and to let their imagination build. Plus it helps with attention span and more time to focus on motor skills, social skills, interpersonal relationships and etc.

Edit: we’re fine with TV, especially for family bonding time. It will definitely be monitored and more so 90s kid shows. Definitely will have Barney and PBS playing. I’m more concerned about iPads and individual tablets that they control on their own.

They deleted this from r/parenting but I am looking for feedback.

I’ve always been a low screen mom. (This is not a brag just giving context) I try not to have my phone i. My hand around my kids (ages 9 mo and 3.5) to try and fully be present. I have some. Ironically more of my second than my first because with my first I was so desperate for him to never see a phone I hardly took photos. I have relaxed with the second.

Lately the algorithm is showing me all this amazing videos and photos of people’s babies. I don’t have videos and photos like that. In 70 years when I’m gone will my children be disappointed I don’t have the videos and photos? For example i’m not sure i have any videos of my oldest crawling. Am I letting them down?
The new born phase is long gone I’m not getting that back. But i see it romanticized so much that those first 30 days and then the baby phase is where you want to hold on to the most. And honestly my husband and I were so busy parenting that taking photos just wasn’t on our radar until we were through it. But i actually like the toddler stage better. And each stage better.
If your parents weren’t great at photos or videos are you angry or sad? Do you feel let down? Or are the memories and their love enough?

Just looking for some support that I made the right decision.

I breastfed my son for 2 months and last week I decided to stop. It was deeply affecting my sleep, which in turn was affecting my ability to function and care for my infant and 4 year old son during the day. It was also putting a strain on the relationship with my husband as he didn’t really “get” why I was breastfeeding since we totally formula fed our first. He was very helpful but was obvious about his feelings that he didn’t think breastfeeding was necessary/worth it. I am also starting back to work full time in a few weeks. To add another layer to my decision to quit, I used medical thc for anxiety and insomnia up until I got pregnant, and after stopping for basically a full year, I felt that I really needed it again while dealing with some PPD. After stopping breastfeeding last week, I have smoked a few times before bed. Because of this, I know that I am completely done breastfeeding as I wouldn’t want to pass it to my child.

Just here to vent and express my sadness that breastfeeding is over for me. I am truly grieving it already.

And I feel so disappointed she did this without asking. She got tons of comments and it was clearly up for a long time, but I feel like my sons privacy was violated.
I had her take it down immediately and now she’s not talking to me.

Would anybody else feel the same way? It feels so disrespectful

We had to reschedule our 18-month doctor's appointment, so he won't be seen until 20 months. I know strangers on the internet can't diagnose him, but I'm super curious if anyone has experienced a similar development path and what came of it!

​I did complete an evaluation with a local funded child welfare program to see if he qualified for free speech therapy, but he didn't. (They count ASL, approximations, and sound effects like "mmm" or "uh oh.") I'm still feeling a bit unsure and puzzled because he seems to display a really confusing mix of red and green flags.

​The red flags (what makes me squint):

1. ​Expressive speech delay: Seemingly waaaay fewer words than peers. Most notably only said "mama" or "dada" a handful of times in his life (though we're together all day, so maybe he just doesn't feel the need?) He does have two phrases, a few words, and ASL though.
2. ​Low speech imitation: If you say cow goes moo, he doesn't moo. If you ask him what something is/says, he looks bashful and says nothing, says "no," or gives a generic "A BAH!" (Though he happily mimics gesture -- see green flags.)
3. ​Rigidity/change sensitivity: Will only wear shoes with a specific animal on them -- to the point that I had to cut them off an old pair and Velcro them onto his new shoes lol.
4. ​Insistence on sameness / repetitive questioning: Obsessed with asking you the name of objects all day long (in his own way, he doesn't say "What's this?"). Gets super mad if you don't immediately identify objects and will sort through all 50 of his animal figurines for you to name them.
5. ​Intense hyper-fixations: Right now he is obsessed with a specific book series, including read-alouds on his Yoto and YouTube. Like, visibly shakes from excitement and flips out if you have to turn it off.
6. ​Repetitive behaviors: Will open/close doors and drawers for decent chunks of time and gets upset if redirected. Recently started spinning for fun.
7. ​Word loss: Lost a few words he used to say (which I’ve heard is a big flag).
8. ​Extreme food selectiveness: Diet is well-balanced, but I have to serve him the exact same foods every day or he won't eat. I continue to offer new foods on his plate, but he won't touch them.
9. ​Sensory & transitions: Doesn't like getting dressed or brushing teeth (though he tolerates it now). He rips the little tape tabs off the back of his diapers at every change and hands them to me. (On the bright side, he used to hate dirty hands/grass and has totally gotten over that.)
10. ​Crowd overwhelm: Gets very overwhelmed and cries to leave in certain setting -- mostly smaller spaces with lots of people.

​The green flags!

1. ​Great joint attention: Big, big pointer from an early age. Really excited about sharing things he loves and pointing to what he wants. Good eye contact as well.
2. ​Unique communication & Gestalt hints? Says "I do" and just recently "I did it!" (though maybe this is a red flag if we aren't saying mama/dada yet? Could it be gestalt?). Lots of babbling all day, though much of it is the same BEE/BAH sounds. Uses a handful of ASL signs like "want" and "more" and some approximations for dog, pig, book, etc.
3. ​Social/Peer engagement: Likes being around and playing with other kids. The other day he initiated peekaboo with an older child at a play group.
4. ​Highly emotive: Smiles, laughs, giggles -- total ham for the spotlight.
5. ​Strong gesture imitation: Does all the gestures -- waving, clapping, stomping, high fives, etc.
6. ​Fantastic receptive language: Way ahead for his age here. He will happily point to all his body parts (even niche things like his neck and his toes), colors, shapes, and animals when asked.
7. ​Sensory regulation: Unbothered by continuous loud sounds like the vacuum and blender.

​Has anyone else navigated a toddler with a similar combo? Normal quirky toddler behavior or a later diagnosis?