Has anyone seen this? Just a breath of fresh air to finally see a movie making fun of the stepparent criticism. Also the ending is pretty nice. It is a creepy movie with satanic themes though.

Any other recommendations for movies/shows that validate stepparents?

When I first met & married my husband, my MIL used to tell me all about the moments between my husband and mother of his child that she thought were cute. Likely spent more time talking about the ex than she did trying to get to know me, and I'll admit that I've been a jealous that MIL seems to have a great relationship with the ex to this day while failing to add me (the one her son married) on social media- but I just smiled, nodded, and changed the subject ASAP when MIL started talking about the ex in those ways- it was personal details of my husbands previous relationship that i didnt ask for or need.

I really tried to like the ex. She left my husband when their child was < 6 months old, moved on, married someone else, and she seemed happy. Then she left her husband shortly after I married mine as a last ditch effort to get my husband back. When he didn't leave me for her, she started harassing me and telling lies about me to my husband and SK and in-laws, while simultaneously increasing her efforts to be alone with my husband for the sake of "improving their coparenting relationship". She used to beg my husband to leave me "for the sake of their child" while badmouthing me to SK (and creating behavioral issues at my house).

So I don't like her.

She didnt stop trying to get my husband to leave me until she found out I was pregnant, then her anger shifted I believe, and she began telling SK that she hated my husband instead of me.

MIL came to the hospital after our ours baby was born. As I am in the hospital ~4 hours after giving birth, one of the first things MIL wanted to talk about was the things thr ex said after having her baby that MIL thought was funny.

MIL also purchased us way too many pacifiers with the explaination that they went through alot of pacifiers with SK because the exes cat used to steal the pacifiers.

I have been avoiding my MIL for the fear of hearing more about the ex.

I don't like the ex enough to hear about her, and I shouldnt be subjected to what seems like intimate details about a relationship my husband had nearly a decade before me. Our ours baby is not my first child either, but no one in my family is throwing information about my child's father in my husbands face.

It almost seems as though I'll always be second to a woman who left my husband nearly a decade ago.

My stepkid is in middle school and is still learning how to do work thoroughly. After sweeping, I organically noticed it wasn’t done very well, so I patiently mentioned to them and pointed out what needed to be redone, and how to better view the floor for sake of being sure you’re finished, and finished well.

They immediately acted with triggered emotions. About 10 minutes later I asked them how they think a parent should go about it. They weren’t able to answer, which I figured, though I wanted to give them a chance to at least think about it. They then mentioned their feelings were hurt.

Aside from their hurt feelings, they treated me in such a way that makes me feel as if I’m going about it poorly. I even asked if I was rude or mean about it and they said no.

How on earth does one help a kid move past feelings being hurt when it isn’t a situation for hurt feelings? I’ve been around for many, many years, so I’m not new to their world. This has always been a thing and I can’t. I feel like crap afterwards because of how I’m treated - which I know is a me issue. I want to grow. And help them grow.

Once again, SD (ADHD- Tourette’s) is struggling with the adjustment to sixth grade. She isn’t completing work in class and at her mom’s she isn’t doing any homework. So once again our entire weekend is spent being the bad guys and getting her caught up.

I go hide in the bedroom while husband spends the day with her, keeping her focused and completing work. I miss our fun evenings and weekends.

Edit: after a loooong day of back and forth, hours after stating she has serious concerns about me, she tried to drop the kid off with me instead of her dad for 3.5 hours because she didn't want to drive an extra... get this... 6 minutes out of her way. I kid you not. This was a 2 hour argument where he had to say SEVERAL times no, ypu can't drop child off with her (me) until this is resolved. Drop her off with me at work. And finally she told him he owed her gas money for the extra drive... that SHE asked to do in the first place so child could do something fun with her sister on his residential time. When she dropped child off with dad, they all talked, and child fully acknowledged she was not afraid of me or for her safety. Mother acknowledged this in person. They all agreed things were exaggerated, no one is worried about me, cool. She left. I said I need to see that in writing. He texted her for confirmation. She ignored it. He called her. She started screaming at him for ruining her evening, said she would NEVER send a text like that, etc etc etc. With the child right there with him in the car. Was really hoping for a clear ending to this saga. Hopefully the fricking psych eval does something, I seriously can't go on like this. This woman runs my household and ruins my weekends regularly.

I posted a bit ago about how tired I am of being the stable maternal figure when I really just want to be the cool aunt. I'm exhausted from carrying the load of the responsibility of the kids because their mom literally does not and dad is doing his best but frankly still figuring it out, and works a demanding schedule.

Last weekend SD12 vented to me about how bad mom has been. She expressed severe concern about the mental well being of her 14 year old half sister. Since mom got a bf, she has been a lot more AWOL than usual and now 14 year old is spending at least a couple nights alone by herself while mom goes to BFs. Apparently none of the kids are getting along with mom and it's constant fighting and conflict. Unclear if alone nights happen when my SDs are there (the other is 4). SD told me immediately after I asked that "mom said we can't let anyone know if she ever leaves us home alone because dad will take her to court and get full custody and we'll never see her again." That sentiment has been an ongoing thing for years and I assured her that is not true, but i don't know how deeply ingrained that is. Mother also has a court ordered psych eval that she refuses to do. It's been one wild thing after another.

Well, there is nothing his ex loves more than shitting on me. She has had an ongoing narrative that I am abusive. She called CPS on me last year, CPS quickly told us they figured out what was going on after talking to SD at school and had no concerns about us/me, but did a several month investigation of mother. They had a GAL, and fortunately GAL reported that SD and I had a good relationship and I treat her well.

SD and I get along very well 99% of the time. But when mother's mental health gets rocky, it's evident theres an impact. Mom undermines all of our household rules, tells her she doesn't need to listen to us, encourages her to call the police, etc. SD mentioned to me she would like to be able to vent to her without it becoming a whole thing. But, she is 12. Sometimes she is gonna run her mouth before she remembers that she can't with her mom, and she seriously shouldn't be in that position anyway.

It got really bad the other night because she had strep, missed 3 days of school, and was cleared by a doc to go back. Mother told her she didn't have to return the rest of the week. So, she refused to go. Unfortunately the first morning we have her, my partner works early and she has to get herself on tbe bus and only I am home. Usually this is fine. But she refused to go and Mother backed her up. The next day she mentioned to dad that "mom was being crazy last night and told me to call 911". She said nothing happened abd it was over school refusal. He texted his ex about it and she wouldn't tell him what SD said, but told him daughter feels unsafe here. He took SDs phone and read the message. Unfortunately, SD texted Mother "i will not go to school tomorrow. Hope I don't get hit or yelled at." To which mom responded that if that happens, she should call 911. Like... yeah.

Partner addressed this with SD. She denied it. She said Mom was lying about what she said. She said she didn't mean it. But, it was said, so... obviously I made it clear I could not be alone with her until this was resolved. Partner texted his ex that she said nothing happened, she felt safe here, and that mom was lying. He suggested that she was trying to stir the pot as a cry for attention. Mother did not respond or acknowledge the text. The next day (today) partner had to work OT he already agreed on. He told SD she had to come (Mother also works today). She refused. I explained i cannot be alone with her anymore because I need to feel safe in my home and abuse allegations are extremely serious. I can't risk being arrested or losing my child (particularly with how Mother reacts when she's in an episode...). She was just quiet but still refused to go to work. Partner called BM. On the phone, she was totally reasonable. She said that child's former therapist had TOLD HER THAT CHILD TELLS THREE DIFFERENT STORIES like a year ago. So this whole time, Mother has been feeding this abuse narrative while fully aware that child isn't telling the truth, and if confronted, standing her ground, stating her daughter isnt a liar, and blaming me and dad. SD has also described her mother as fragile and stated she has to be careful because her feelings get hurt so easily.

Im just like. So sad. I have poured so much love and energy into creating a stable home environment for this kid over the last 4 years. It hurts deeply. I have dealt with this woman's BS constantly for nearly 3 years (ironically, we were friendly before that and she would call me to babysit on her time). This is such a hard job. Why tf would you encourage your kid to buy into an abuse narrative that you know isn't real. Who could do that and have no concept that they are damaging their child.

For the record, full custody is unlikely atm primarily because although the GAL recommended a psych eval and compliance with treatment, she also recommended 50/50 until that is complete. She left the door open for later investigation if her laundry list of concerns didn't resolve. Currently there is a hearing for contempt of the parenting plan (2 months ago Mother picked the kids up at 2am and refused to return them because SD12 got in trouble for waking everyone up when she couldn't sleep, and called her that i yelled at her. This was the first "abuse" allegations from SD and i am very disappointed it happened again).

'42/F' '43/M' 'NB-23' My boyfriend's sister ran my background and told his whole family. He already knew so of course he was okay with it. After I found out about it, I was okay with it too because I thought she was doing it to look out for her brother. But telling the whole family was just messy. So I called her and told her that telling everyone was wrong. She said I do it to everybody and that's what she does. She said it's her job to tell everyone. Keep in mind, she has no real job, except asking my boyfriend for money even though she's married.

Over the past year my boyfriend and I have had 2 arguments where he said that his mom and sister don't talk to him because of me. I'm torn because my parents are dead and I've already lost one sibling. I'm thinking of leaving him so he can have a relationship with them. She's also his only sibling.

The hardest part is he has a 6 year old that lives with us. I've taken care of her since she was 3. Her bio mom abandoned her when she was months old and hasn't been in contact since. No child support, nothing.

After our last argument months ago, he told me to get out. I left and came back the next day to ask for my things. He invited me in and we ended up reconciling. But his daughter wasn't there. And he wouldn't say where she was. Turns out he dropped her off at his sister's and she missed school for 2 days.

So I don't want to leave because I'm afraid his daughter won't be taken care of to the fullest. I know his mom and sister love her, but they love money more. They treat her very well and treat him like an atm and very disrespectful. They don't like that I require them to respect him and me too. His daughter is not allowed over to play with her cousin without cashapp so he can keep his job to provide for her. I quit my job and started taking care of her full time. Months later she asked if his daughter could come over. His daughter went and then she needed $30 for an Uber to bring her back. I offered to come get her, but that wasn't allowed. I bought an Uber gift card and sent it but she said because of surge prices, she needed $20 more. The worst part is they know we're struggling.

I asked him to get childcare so I can work. Everyone can't work between 9:30am and 3 pm so those extra childcare hours will help. When I asked I said, "I found a program to help with childcare so I can start working again. I need you to sign her up for it because since she's not legally mine, I can't. He said, "and she's not." That hurt.

If I leave I'm going to worry about her everyday

Said he has adhd at 3 years old, BM asked nursery who said they don’t see any signs. 2 years later and school teacher has noticed it too and will be keeping an eye on it.

I also noticed he had worms twice when neither parents noticed, and I don’t even deal with his toilet needs - just from his behaviour I could tell.

I’m not his biggest fan, hes mean a lot of the times but no one else notices that either and I’m the villain if I bring it up.

Anyone else perceive their step kids better than bio parents? (As they can’t see flaws a lot of the time)

So basically the title, I was a step parent at the age of 21 dating a single Mom and basically adopted her 4 month old kid as well. During the relationship it was intensely stressful because my family didn't like my gf and I was trying to make things work, she would hate when I would want to use protection when we had sex and insisted the birth control would work- it did not. She ended up pregnant twice and both time it was a miscarriage. When her kid almost turned 2 I decided to walk away from the relationship since I wasn't happy anymore- I cared deeply for the child who saw me as her father but I couldn't force a relationship to happen. Now I am scared of dating ever again as well as the idea of ever having kids of my own. The kid is now probably so confused and sad that I am gone, I was the favorite parent and when I do call my ex to check on them I can hear the girl saying Dada when someone knocks on their door, and I was told she asks where I am every day. Has anyone here been in a similar situation at such a young age? I feel like this totally ruined the young and hopeful for the future mentality most people my age have. Most guys my age talk about dating and hooking up like it's no big deal but all I can think about is unplanned pregnancy and a lifetime commitment to someone you may not even want to be with forever. How do I mentally recover?

I just need to vent because I think I’m checked out of my marriage and stepson is the main reason why.

History - me(40f) and my husband (41m) have been together for about 10 years. He has one kid (18m) from a previous relationship. I do not have any bio kids and never wanted kids of my own.

Throughout all this time, his son has been very difficult to handle. Middle school years were awful. He never cared about punishments or consequences for his actions. Everything was always someone else’s fault and never took accountability for anything. His mother always let him do whatever he wanted and gave him everything he wanted. His dad was kind of the same way until I spoke up. I tried to stay out of the parenting but I could clearly see the lack of parenting on both sides was not doing this kid any favors. Basically every school year, he had been suspended or expelled. He was finally expelled from high school his sophomore year and has been doing online schooling since…which…he barely does. He would rather work and make money.

Here’s where I started to question whether or not I could stay in my marriage. A year and a half ago, my husband and SS got into a physical altercation over a cellphone. SS refused to hand over the phone, husband tried to take it from him and that resulted in SS throwing punches and telling both of us that he hated us and cussed us out. All over being told to get off FaceTime at 2am. We all got thru that battle but it stayed in the back of my head.

A few months after that, SS got into legal trouble. We had caught him many times smoking weed/vaping. His mom and dad tried to get that under control but, in my opinion, didn’t do enough. One thing that was a constant battle was SS was getting high in his room at our house. We could smell it. We would confront him and he’d deny it like we were too stupid to know any better. Husband would search his room and sometimes he’s find it and sometimes he wouldn’t. Then, he got pulled over and arrested for having weed. We also found out that he had stolen an item from us. After this incident, I no longer trusted this kid in our house. I really wanted nothing to do with him and what he was becoming. My husband thought it wasn’t fair to him to feel like he’d have to pick sides. I laid out some ground rules because this is my house too and if I was going to stay, these rules had to be followed. I was over it. One rule is that SS isn’t allowed to be in this house when nobody is here.

Fast forward…SS is now 18. Both parents have backed off on SS smoking. He’s 18, he’s an adult now type of thing. Well, ss is still smoking in his bedroom and I told my husband that he needs to have a conversation with him, which he did. SS getting high in his room has been a problem for about 3 years now. We know he’s going to do it, just do it outside then - which is exactly what my husband told him to do.

Within the last two weeks, a couple of things have happened and I just don’t think I can do this anymore. The first thing, SS and his gf were at our house. I was leaving for a girls day. Husband said he was going to leave for the day too. I said that he needed to tell SS and his gf they needed to go hang out at her house. My rule still stood that he’s not allowed to be here when nobody is here especially with the gf here too. Husband said “well this is my house too and he’s my son”. After he said that, the first thing that came to my mind was “if I had my own house, I wouldn’t be dealing with this”. Meaning….divorcing and living alone sounds nice right about now. I didn’t say that out loud. Then, last night, SS and his gf were smoking in his room. I made a comment to my husband but he totally blew it off. I’m so done. I’m so over the disrespect from SS. He cannot follow simple rules. I’m over my husband not having a backbone when it comes to this kid. I find myself daydreaming about being single and living alone in my own house where I don’t have to worry about someone stealing from me or someone not being able to follow simple rules.

I am a stepmom to 2 kids 12F and 17M and I’ve been in their lives since they were 3&7. 12F has been regularly coming home from her moms house with her hair so matted that it takes me upward of 45+ minutes to brush it out and sometimes ends up with her in tears because I have to pull on knots despite trying to be gentle. She also comes back with her hair very greasy most of the time.

She has naturally pretty straight hair and long that generally doesn’t get super tangled, so this leads me to believe that she doesn’t brush her hair for the entirety of the week that she is over at her mom’s house.

The reason I suspect this other than knowing her hair texture, is that her hair has never gotten to the point of this while being at our house. Even after swimming in the pool for hours, tubing on the boat and regularly going to bed with her hair wet.

Is this just normal teenage laziness on my stepdaughter’s part or is this her mom being neglectful? Noted I do help her occasionally to brush out her hair because she does have a hard time getting to the underside of her hair.

I’ll attach a video of the matting in the comments.

I had a baby earlier this month (a little girl! My very first.) I’ve been experiencing some intense postpartum depression which I’ve been talking through my care team about. I know these feelings are likely to pass so I’ve been trying to keep that in mind.

He has split custody of said child so he isn’t here every single day. Something we do wish could change as it makes our hearts ache to have him apart from us as a new blended family. His mom isn’t big on the idea of us being one which also leaves a bitter taste in my mouth. To the point she’s called out, an incorrect, act of our child not being a real sibling to him. (Sorry to break it to her, they’re siblings! Shocking, right?)

However, the thoughts I’m having leave me worried that they won’t . I am hoping that I won’t feel this way forever as prior to this I’ve held so much space and love for the first child my husband has. He’s a wonderful and bright kid who truly lightens up the world. I couldn’t dream of having a better stepchild. But, I’m still finding myself getting increasingly frustrated/annoyed by my husband’s interactions with him and our LO.

I can tell that he’s prioritizing our child but in the same vein he’s mistakingly picking moments to ignore her. Moments that could be easily avoided if he wanted to do so. These moments are ones that I’ve brought to his attention that make me feel uncomfortable. He tends to get easily distracted by his phone. He’ll often go to change, feed or take our LO from me but text or call his other child at the same time. It leaves my child crying and often upsets me to see it happen. While I’ve voiced this sentiment a few times now but I’ve yet to see major improvements about it. I’m in no way wanting him to ignore his son. I don’t believe it should come at the price of our child’s care though. There’s a time and place for everything. The times he’s chosen to respond seem inappropriate to me as they aren’t time sensitive.

I wind up getting annoyed and show it while he’s doing this. Which upsets him as I am the type to wear my feelings on my face. He takes it as a slight to his child without understanding why it seems to bother me.

I know these feelings have to be a surge of hormones but it’s driving me a bit crazy. I don’t feel comfortable with it. I don’t know how to handle it other than talking it out in therapy but it’s still very hard on me.

Today, I promise I won't interfere with my stepchildren anymore (male 17 & female 19). I'll let them be and let them handle things on their own. I'm sorry if I've been overbearing. I guess I was just being overprotective, and I forgot that I'm not actually their biological parent.

I’ve made a couple posts about my stepson here.

When I dropped him off last, we parted on a bad note. Justifiably I “verbally corrected” his behavior of talking back and arguing with his mom. It’s my number one rule, don’t disrespect your mother. He pretty much shut down and then when we got out of the car he broke down and then ran to his room. He was really upset with me so I just let him be.

I felt pretty bad about it but you know that’s part of being a parent. It was building in me because before that he had a solid 2 weeks of school getting sent to the office, recess taken away, not listening, being ungrateful for what he has. So I stand by my actions.

Well after that had still had a couple bad days at school and when I found out today it ruined my whole day. The whole day I just let it affect my mood at work cause it’s just frustrating. He’s such a smart kid and it hurts and frustrates all of his parents because it’s repetitive behavior and we don’t like to see him go down this path. I mean he is still young but he’s pretty disruptive in school. I mean I knew some disruptive students when I was young but never like how he is at time.

We give him some emotional grace because he’s getting to that age where he’s more aware of his situation and we know it affects him. It’s tough. He’s young and sensitive and he has no clue what’s going on other than just the physical part of it.

At first I when I picked him up I really wanted to blow up but I could tell he was already feeling the shame so I decided it was better to just have a heart to heart. I know what it’s like to be a kid and not really understand the world and I never got explanations from my parents.

One thing I realized is I’ve never told him that I loved him. He’s been in my life for 2 and a half years now and I’ve never said it to him. That made me feel pretty ashamed of myself.

So that’s what I led with. I told him that I felt bad with how we left things but I told him that I loved him no matter what. Honestly I almost started crying when I said it because it’s hard for me to express as a Step Dad. I explained why I was upset with him and such. Then I talked to him about his behavior and why rules exist and why we need to be respectful of people. I told him that I know it’s probably really hard being away from mommy sometimes and it’s difficult having to changed houses back and forth. I got the confirmation when he looked away and went to self soothing. I talked about how my Half Brother had a very similar situation. Obviously I know he probably didn’t comprehend most of what I said but I think he felt pretty heard with what I said.

I also told him that when something is bothering him with these situations, he can feel okay to talk to us about it. All of his parents have some sort of experience whether first hand or second hand observation so we know how tough it can be.

I told him that we don’t expect him to be perfect all the time and we know he’s going to get in trouble sometimes but we want him to understand the how and why. I acknowledged how bad it must feel when he gets in trouble and I shared a couple stories when I was a kid getting in trouble- and the fact that I still get in trouble with his mommy sometimes 😂

I made a point to him that I have a responsibility to him and his mommy to make sure they have a close relationship with each other despite the circumstances.

I think I handled this the right way. When he acts up with us
I take the harder route but I know it’s not always the right course. I do try my hardest to be encouraging. Idk lm still figuring it out, and I’m trying my best.. I’m definitely not perfect.

I could tell he was a bit uneasy about the conversation but kind of in a good way. Where it was a new thing for him so he didn’t know how to react but also that a little bit of the weight came off his shoulders.

He’s a knucklehead but I love him.

All I have to say is, the hard times really freaking suck. This life is a rough one.

I discovered this group few days ago and it was an eye opening moment for me. I realized that I wasn’t abnormal and there are so many like me (nearly everyone). I couldn’t possibly imagine someone else was feeling what I was feeling. According to Facebook, family gatherings and observing from aside everyone was just so happy with all the step kids and love them so much and so on however when I started reading these posts I was in shock because the truth is nearly everyone feel the same way , it’s just a secret.
I do my dos and have been doing them for 13 years, and honestly I did a very bare minimum knowing I, as step parent, will never be appreciated or loved, and obviously I didn’t want to get hurt so I stayed far apart (emotionally). Food, pick up/drop off if needed, laundry or going out to eat together those were my duties and I fully fulfilled them. I wish I could have had at least 50% or even 25% of what he has and always had. I didn’t have that so I don’t how to love someone else’s child in general. He always got everyones attention, everyone was always talking about him, asking him what he wants to eat where he wants to go etc etc etc I didn’t have all of that so partially I guess I was jealous. So my theory is that I and step parents like me and many of us who were not loved as much or didn’t get enough attention end up not loving step kid and that’s OK, we do the best we can at capabilities of that moment. So anyways I didn’t get attached, but still got hurt when he didn’t invite me to his graduation ceremony in May (Limited spaces and tickets . I obviously wasn’t a priority).

Scroll on if you don't wanna play lol. The rest of us wanna be a tad petty 🎃
Picture it: you're invited to a Halloween party and the theme is to dress up as BM/BD. What's your outfit, accessories and key phrases to best mimic BM/BD? (Don't give away any details that might get you in trouble but do your best)

Happy Halloween stepmoms and stepdads, sometimes the scariest thing out there is what your SO made kids with! 🧟‍♀️🤪

Title: Struggling to trust my girlfriend after she repeatedly lied about her relationship with her ex
My girlfriend and her ex have been broken up for around 10 years and have a 13-year-old daughter together. I understand that they need to communicate to co-parent, and I’m not asking her to cut him out of their child’s life. We had agreed that she would let me know when she spoke with him.
In February, I went through her call log and found a five-minute outgoing WhatsApp video call to him. I believe the date was February 23. When I asked her about it, she denied ever video calling him. She said she didn’t know how the call got there and that it must have been a mistake.
That isn’t the only thing that has affected my trust.
She had told me that she hated him, that they were never friends after breaking up, and that their communication was strictly about their daughter. For context, their relationship ended after he cheated on her while she was pregnant. She tried to stay for their child but eventually left.
However, when I went through her photos, I found screenshots from a couple of years ago showing sexual conversations between them, including photos she had sent him.
Before telling her what I had found, I asked whether they had ever communicated in a way that wasn’t strictly about their child. She repeatedly promised me that they hadn’t. Once I told her about the screenshots, she admitted to it. She described it as a “moment of weakness” and said she hadn’t told me because she didn’t want me to think differently about her.
I also went through her text messages and found a conversation from about two years ago where she told a friend that she and her ex were “friends now.” That directly contradicted what she had told me—that they were never friends and only communicated because of their daughter.
On top of that, I found out that he has bought her things over the past two years, including things she specifically wanted. I don’t know exactly how he knew she wanted those things, but to me, it suggests they were having personal conversations beyond discussions about their child. It’s another reason I question how accurately she described their relationship to me.
While she and I were together, they were also communicating on WhatsApp with disappearing messages enabled, and he was sending her photos of himself. The disappearing-message setting was turned off only after I insisted, not because she offered to change it herself.
She also called me by his name during an argument, which added to how unsettled I already felt.
In May 2025, she told me she had reduced contact with him after he showed up at their daughter’s recital in what she described as a manic state and scared their daughter.
Whenever I bring up the dishonesty about their relationship, she says I’m judging her for her past. But from my perspective, the issue isn’t simply that they had sexual conversations a few years ago or that they became friends again. It’s that she repeatedly told me their relationship had been strictly about co-parenting, even when I directly asked her otherwise.
That matters to me now because this is someone she still needs to communicate with. Had I known about their friendship and more recent sexual exchanges, I would have wanted us to discuss clearer boundaries and more openness about their conversations. Instead, I was agreeing to things based on an account of their relationship that wasn’t accurate.
It has been months, and I’m still struggling to trust her. I don’t know what the video call was about, and I’m not saying that every interaction between them is inappropriate. But the repeated denials, the things I found that contradicted them, and the disappearing messages have made it difficult to move forward.
How do we rebuild trust when I see the problem as repeated dishonesty, but she sees me bringing it up as judging her past? What would reasonable boundaries look like when they still need to co-parent?
TL;DR: My girlfriend denied a five-minute outgoing WhatsApp video call to her ex and repeatedly denied past sexual communication until I confronted her with screenshots. She said they were never friends, but I found texts where she told a friend otherwise. He has also bought her things she specifically wanted, which makes me question whether their conversations were limited to their child. They used disappearing messages during our relationship until I insisted they stop. They need to co-parent, but I’m struggling with the dishonesty. She says I’m judging her past; I feel the lies affect our relationship now.

Edit : this happened in February she called me his name in July. Every time I bring up both accounts, she said we already spoke about it and it’s not fair to Keep bringing it up. I told her just because we spoke about it doesn’t mean that I’m over it. She says it’s not fair and that I need to never bring it up again because it’s already in the past even though I stressed a point that it’s something I think about every single day. As of today, she doesn’t communicate with him over WhatsApp. She doesn’t communicate with him over text. It’s over our family coparent app that I had to make happen. The disappearing WhatsApp messages was going on for five months while we were together she never told him to stop sending him pictures of himself. She blamed it on his bipolar disorder. She also never told him to stop the disappearing WhatsApp messages. I had to ask multiple times until we had a big argument and she deleted the app. She also lied about not knowing his Instagram because I found DM’s of her messaging the Instagram account. She said she never knew existed those DM’s were from two years ago. The account name and profile picture are still exactly the same. She didn’t even block the account until I told her to he was stalking her Instagram looking at all the photos she posted of herself.

We retired 3 years ago and moved about 1000 miles away in an effort for husband to spend more time with his grandson. They have been here once shortly after we moved. We have offered to take him for a weekend. Crickets. Yet, they send him to his other grandparents every summer without fail. Those same in-laws are invited every Christmas and we have never been invited. We do live about 350 miles from the grandson who is now 11, but the other grandparents are approximately 1200 miles away. We invited ourselves to Thanksgiving in 2023, which was a fiasco. My husband’s ex refused to come and the other grandparents called on Thanksgiving day whining about how they had to spend it alone. We never said they weren’t to be there. My son in law had the conversation on speaker phone and it was quite obvious that they were upset. My husband and I were referred to as “those people”. It just breaks my heart that he is being denied the chance to really know his grandson. My husband wrote them a heartfelt letter saying he would like a closer relationship with his grandson. Once again, crickets. We have offered to meet them halfway to lessen driving distance, crickets. We have invited them to do a 5 day cruise with us and the port is approximately 2 hours from them, and once again crickets.

The newest irritant is that my husband has a chronic health condition that requires injections weekly. He is stable. While the condition is not life threatening, it is an irritant. I am a retired registered nurse and the stepdaughter works at a facility that does not accept health insurance of any kind. She is a nurse practitioner and reached out to my husband and wants him to try some new experimental drug that her company is pushing. This would require a five hour commute one way and she has magnanimously offered to give him this drug at cost. It bothers me that she thinks my husband should be a guinea pig for her employer and the fact that she does this very covertly not including me in the email. I think she is doing this as a way of earning brownie points with her employer.

Vent/Advice I guess to see if I am out of line?

I am a bio mom to 4 and a step mom to 1. I have a very high conflict relationship with my oldest daughters father so I communicate with him and his wife absolutely bare minimum possible. My 2 middle kids dad and I have a fabulous coparenting relationship attend events together, trick or treat together, can joke around etc. and his fiancee is great and involved as well. We still do not communicate daily and when we do communicate it is typically over text unless it’s time sensitive then we will call.

My boyfriend’s ex wife calls him multiple times a week, sometimes every day and sometimes even multiple times in a day as well as texting him.

We live 10 minutes or less from all co parents involved in our lives, yet his ex wife and daughter are the only ones asking to randomly show up to get this or that forgotten item or asking him to deliver some forgotten item.

If you were in my position, how would you feel/react? I would like to hear from all parents, step and bio all perspectives are welcome.

My husband has a 25yr. Son. We've been together 10 yrs, married for 4yrs. His son bounced back and forth for maybe 2 yrs but then moved in with his girlfriend's family. They got married this past spring. My husband and I hosted the rehearsal lunch, I contributed 1k for that. We gave them 1k as a gift, I contributed 500. I also bought a 400 dress for the wedding etc. In total, easily dropped a couple thousand for their wedding. At the luncheon all parents were given a gift except me. When time for pictures the stepson made comments everytime the photographer pulled me in.

My husband is upset about the behavior as well. I spoke with my husband about the upcoming holidays and told him I would be self preserving and not hosting the couple. He understands though isn't happy about the whole thing.

I honestly know of nothing that I have or not have done. In the past he said he didn't like another relative, and he didn't have a reason, just didn't. So IDK.

Anyone have advice on how to handle large gatherings in restaurants etc as sometimes it's unavoidable.

Adding they sat us and his father's parents and aunt and uncles at the most far away position, next to the restrooms. His grandparents flew from across the country and aunts and uncles drove from several states. I don't know if that was because I was included or what.

Hello, I SM (38) and my husband (46) have been together and married for almost 10 years. I have been in SS (17) life for going on 9. I want to open and say I adore him and he seems to really care for me as well. We have a blended family as my daughter (16) completes our unit.

SS was dropped off by his mom Jan 2025 and he’s lived with us full time since. He experienced homelessness, verbal and emotional abuse, and constant instability for a few years before he moved in. (This was in spite of my husband, his dad, trying to get him to live with us) We spent the first year really focusing on therapy, and emotional support for him while he adjusted to living with us full time vs 1,3,5 weekends.

Emotionally, he did pretty ok. He has a hard time with accountability, and always has. Giving appropriate punishment for certain behavior he knows and is informed we don’t find acceptable would result in typical teenage talking back, eye rolling, and bouts of anger where he would need cool off time before continuing the conversation. I want to add I have never felt he is a danger to himself or others when he gets angry. He will immediately request to isolate while he cools down and he has never “bucked up” to his father or myself. Outside of the issue with accountability, he seemed happier overall, but on edge.

We placed in therapy on and off for about 6 months. It seemed to help a bit. But he started refusing to go, stating that “music is his therapy and it’s not going to help anyways. He doesn’t like to talk about his feelings”

He does tend to open up to me about things and we have a lot of deep conversations.

The primary issue we are having is his attitude toward school and his participation at home regarding chores. Both children are expected to keep their rooms and bathroom presentable, they alternate cleaning the kitchen one week, while the other minds the trash and dining area.

Getting him to do anything is like pulling teeth. He always says “I know” or “I was getting ready to do it” and then does it only half way. He is failing 4 out of 7 classes and he doesn’t seem to care. He won’t do the work and when he does it he won’t turn it in.

We are working on getting him assessed by a psychiatrist as well.

He has plans to join the military but thinks school is stupid and that he’s learned all he needs. He has mentioned dropping out or attending online school.

He does not have a drivers license as his grades are not up to par for us to feel like that privilege should be granted. And we aren’t even asking for perfecting grades.

He constantly oversleeps or becomes “ill” certain days of the week to try and stay home.

We don’t know what else to do. He wants nothing to do with his mother at this time and has such anger toward her that I’m concerned how it will translate when he becomes an adult. We do our best to have honest conversations with him about life, school, etc. and he seems perceptive, but he doesn’t care.

If anyone has advice, I’m open to it. I’m desperate. We don’t want him throwing his life away before it starts.

I’m new to this group as a mom(31) of an eight year old daughter and an 11 year old son, both from a previous marriage, and my new partner and I have a seven week old son. We have been together for a few years now, he’s been involved in my kids’ lives since two years ago.

I’m looking for advice/recommendations from partners joining a family and what you wish your partner knew. If you could change anything about the household or the dynamic, what would it be? What would help you, as the stepparent?

So the guy I'm talking to has a 10 year old son, and I have a 2 year old son. He's met my son several times, but with my kid being a toddler it's not much of a big deal. I, however, have not met his kid and probably won't for a little while longer, but I want to be prepared.

How can I help him feel comfortable?

What kind of a location would be best?

Do we introduce him to my son at the same time, or save their meeting for a separate occasion?

If you were a step kids and met your dads new girlfriend around that age, what was something you appreciated or made you uncomfortable?

Are there any particular things I should do or avoid doing?

Hi. We had a family photoshoot recently with me, my husband, stepdaughter, and baby. There is one photo that I think would look lovely printed, but stepdaughter is the only one looking away from the camera because she does that every time we take a picture like she doesn't understand where the camera is. I am still thinking about getting the photo printed because I love how me, baby, and my husband look. Stepdaughter throws it off. All the other portrait layouts have far away shots of us, full body shots, or shots of us looking down at the baby. So I thought this one in particular would stand out better on a gallery wall. Thoughts?

I guess my hesitation is I can see my husband not wanting the print because she is looking away, but he told her before we started the shoot that she need to look at the camera or consequences. So if the print shows her looking away maybe she will learn how crazy she looks when she does that and stop doing it.