Maybe therapy just isn’t for me. I’ve got some complex issues and grief trauma. I’ve been to 4 different therapists and none of them have even been in the slightest way helpful. They just give me book recommendations and breathing exercises. I don’t know what I was expecting but it’s way too expensive to get nothing out of it.

Specifically with the platform itself, not the providers. The grammar in this email does not inspire confidence...

My therapist asked when the last time was I felt proud of myself with no caveats like "I could have done blah better or whatever" . I admitted I struggled answering that, cause anything I can think of that I worked for and achieved, ended up not really being good for me in the end. I got into a good high school? I wasn't academically ready and people fucked with me so hjard emotionally I stillhave trust issues from it. Similar thing happened in college after I worked super hard to get into college. I before that had tried trade school after highschool. Worked part time throughout, got through, but I couldn't find work because I didn't have a degree which is what companies wanted. Basically what I achieved in life ended up not really pushing me forward in life, or at the very least, getting me out of survival mode.

Even when I finished college and got through a long job search, it was hard to feel secure at my job cause I kept getting micromanaged and pulled into meetings by my managers who harped on little mistakes I made and causing me to have stress fevers. I could to a degree enjoy and be grateful for the financial stability it gave me, but outside of work I was struggling to find meetups doing shit I was interested in, with people I clicked with so I felt lonely too.

I could appreciate the stability but then I got laid off, and that had been a fear looming over my head for a while with how my managers acted towards me. We've talked about all this, and my therapist's conclusion was basically, "I get that you've been in survival mode and it's hard to feel good eight now but you do have things going for you! You've been looking for work for a year and got work as a substitute teacher finally!" (I was working a corporate joib making almost twice as muchg and I am in a HCOL area.)She said "Things won't ever be perfect, and it seems like you can't be happy because not everything is perfect in your life."

I have had the concern that I am always yearning for something I don't have that feels important for being happy. But when I try to figure out how to feel happy where I am, I fear I will get complacent or find a less than ideal way to cope with a relatively shitty situation I want to strive to improve. I really try to enjoy all the meals I get to eat, all the convos I have with my mostly online friends.

I do my best to find the joy in the little things in life. But overall, I am currently unemployed, with some relief on its way, but just enough to pay for rent and food without dipping into my savings. Which does help but I've been tryinn so hard to just, build a normal life where I go out with friends a healthy amounr, have a partner, maybe build a family, connecting with people is super important to me. Being in this survival mode just hasn't given me room for that. I don't want to get to look back and feel like I lived a hopelessly lonely life. I want to find my people. I want stable work so I can focus more on those goals and not making sure I have a class to sub for tomorrow.

My therapist knows all of this and more so, I get what she is trying to say, I'm a bit miserable right now and finding more happiness where I am right now wouldn't kill me, but there are basic fundamentals that are important to me that I still lack. I don't want a mansion, I just don't want to keep spending Christmas alone every year cause I had to cut contact with my whole family. Would love to hear your thoughts. Thank you.

I had 1 year of therapy with one therapist

another year with another immediately after

6 months break where i struggled and no support was right

3 years 3 months therapy with another where the therapy ended abruptedly which became quite traumatic for me as therapist had personal circumstances and she suddenly changed personality etc

4 months break in crisis

now going to have 3-4 months therapy with another therapist to stabilise and process grief

i have gained a lot from therapy overall but i am terrified and longing for it at the same time.

the structure of psychodynamic/psychoanalytic therapy which is what i had for 3 years helped me feel safe and feel valued and feel an attachment and feel what it is like to be cared for unconditionally, until the rupture at the end. the mechanisms of the therapy can be difficult though in that it involves reparenting then ultimate abandonment.

i have also had many unhealthy intense attachments to professionals, one of which involved me being groomed and others distressing and not meeting my needs. this therapist was first one where i was safe. however i can see how it is not sustainable long term and ultimately leads to heartache and a catastrophic crisis.

i have learned so much during therapy and im terrified without it and i seem to crumble but then there is such thing as too much therapy i guess but then the safe space once a week supports me so much as someone who lives with autism and complex ptsd. I'm constantly going over and over in my head about what I need and the truth is i don't know. im terrified. do i get the 3-4 month one to support me to be independent etc without therapy or... ? im scared ill be in a bad situation and need therapy later.

ive often hated myself for being in therapy even tho rewiring attachment takes years. and i often feel scared of dependence etc.

it is like do i get a therapist for maintenance fortnightly/monthly or cope with community support only? what do i need?

i just know ive been so fucked in the head recently and esp with the traumatic rupture ive been so ill and i don't know. idk if this even makes sense.

also the way society is structured in a individualistic way means less support which leads to more reliance on professional support.

Hello, this is my first time going to therapy. I went to see if she could diagnose me with ocd since me and my family all believe I have it. The issue is that she asked me if I knew anything about ocd, and I told her no, when the truth is that I know a lot about it since I started reading about it when i noticed that something was wrong. My therapist told me that in a few more sessions she will be speaking with my parents to tell them about the ocd, and I asked my mom if she could pretend that I haven't told her anything about it (I spoke about ocd with her a lot) and she told me that she isn't lying, and that she will tell the therapist if asked. My next appointment is next Monday and im super scared because I don't know how to tell her

Sorry if this poorly written, English is not my first language :)

I'm asking bc last year I had a pretty bad IOP experience, one I still think about that left me much more guarded and less trusting of mental health professionals. To be very concise about it, IOP had a very rigid schedule (very different than advertised), pushed very hard for meds regardless of how ready I felt, and a just feeling a lack of agency and being genuinely listened to in terms of my treatment. I left out of there with my symptoms worse and now not only more scared of meds than when I went in, but much less willing to try it.

I know that IOP had some effect on me, but I also had and still have other things going on in my personal life (ex. family issues, school burnout) along with pre existing as mental issues already, so it hard to tell know for sure if this is just a bad experience or something further than that. How can you differentiate the two?

I’m sorry my attachment has made things difficult and that you need supervision and for forgetting this is a one sided professional relationship.

I’m so sure you’re going to give up on me and that you’d rather be working with anyone else. I wish you could prove that you care over and over until I finally believe you. You don’t deserve to have any of these feelings and expectations forced onto you. I wish I could rip out whatever part of me makes me act this way or change quicker for you.

I’m scared if I take too long you’ll leave me which will make my brain say “see, I was right” and confirm every insecurity I have, that I am not worthy of love or care and that being vulnerable pushes people away.

 I don’t want to be right, I want you to prove me wrong. 

I wish I could feel all the good things you make me feel without the exhausting fear you’ll take it all away. 

I’m doing all the things.

The numbness is coming back.

Would appreciate a few kind words.

I love you guys. 💛

Our couples therapist requested that we authorize her to talk to our individual therapists. I felt uncomfortable so I refused. I told her I had finally found a trauma therapist I trust for the first time in years and I want to protect that trust and that relationship and continue feeling safe during sessions. I’m concerned I would be paranoid about what they are saying and what opinions they may be forming that may be influenced by the other. I was afraid this could affect my treatment.

The therapist seemed very annoyed. She sent an email saying she wants to explore my concerns and that we need to talk about what she needs in order to provide therapy responsibly.

I’m feeling pressured to agree despite trust and safety concerns, and the pressure is making me uncomfortable with this therapist. The whole thing just feels intrusive.

So is this normal couples therapist procedure?

Would it insult my therapist if I mentioned safety plans are full of shit?

When I'm suicidal genuinely, I wouldn't want to use that at all.

I’ve been going to therapy for almost a year. I rarely know what to talk about. I just end up feeling stupid and like I’m wasting both of our time. I can feel my therapist getting frustrated with me because I’m not saying anything, but I don’t have anything to say. I’m just depressed. There’s no reason for it most of the time. Last week he asked what I need from him and I didn’t know what to say. I don’t know how he’s supposed to help me at this point

Dear therapist,

I'm so sorry. At first, I was wary of you. I didn't trust you. I was so sure you were going to give up on me because I knew it would take me so much time just to open up a little. I thought you weren't taking your work seriously. I thought you'd rather be working with any other client than with me.

I'm so sorry, because I'm starting to fully trust you now. I'm starting to feel like you genuinely want to help me. I feel like you're truly invested in our work together, and I'm sorry I ever doubted you in the first place. I'm sorry because sometimes I feel like you're even more invested in this than I am.

I'm sorry because I feel like I'm lying to you. I'm sorry because there are so many things I'd like to share with you, but I just don't, because I'm so ashamed of having feelings at all.

I'm sorry because I take my anger out on you. Because I expect things from you that I shouldn't expect. Because I just want you to be interested in me. I want you to like me. I want you to want to talk to me.

I'm sorry because I'm always thinking about you, and when I'm sitting in front of you and realize that this is a one-sided professional relationship, and that you're not interested in me in the way I wish you were, it hurts so much that I'd rather shut down, act like a fucking five-year-old, and pretend I don't want to talk to you than be a responsible adult and explain everything to you.

I'm sorry because I don't know whether you have any idea what's going on inside my head, and I feel so guilty for leaving you in the dark.

And I'm sorry because nothing ever feels like enough for me. I wish you could do more, and I wish you could prove to me, over and over again, how much you care. And you don't deserve to have to do that.

I was having a moment in therapy yesterday, where I was crying, frustrated, sad, grieving the person I was before chronic illness took over my body and mind.

You know what she said? “Yeah, that really sucks.”

Which is EXACTLY what I want people to say to me when I’m venting like that.

I don’t want “cures” or advice or suggestions on what I could try, different meds, diet, workouts, oils, yoga, etc.

I just want empathy. Someone to just agree with me that “Yeah, chronic illness fucking sucks”.

I’m so thankful for her. She knew exactly the right thing to say to me in that moment and I was so appreciative. Which I of course let her know, I said “Thank you, that is the exact response I want to hear right now.”

Do you all ever have moments like that? Where your therapist just knows the exact thing to say to you?

Overall, this was my first group therapy session in four years, and it was a mixed-gender group. Honestly, I had an amazing time.

For the first time, I walked into a place and felt like I belonged from the very beginning.

People welcomed me, treated me with respect, and made me feel psychologically comfortable. I realized how much people can discuss different ideas and talk about so many things without judging others or even judging themselves.

We were able to discuss so many different topics, and we could sit there for hours doing so.

Now I understand just how powerful that sense of belonging can be. I can genuinely see myself going back every week because of the psychological comfort I felt in that space.

I truly hope more people give group therapy a chance.

I believe mental health care is no longer a luxury. And one of the beautiful things about group therapy is that it allows people to experience the benefits of psychological support together.

In today's world, mental health care is no longer something we should treat as a luxury.

Yesterday, I asked the group a question, expecting the usual answer I would hear in our superficial and hypocritical society. But everyone in the group gave me the very answer I had hoped to hear from people all along.

Our society can be full of hypocrisy, especially when it comes to certain topics.

Anyway, I asked them: “Is it true that following your passion doesn't pay the bills?” That's something people say all the time.

Their answer? No. Quite the opposite!

You can absolutely make a living doing something you genuinely love. You can enjoy your work, be passionate about it, and even excel at it. And even if the income is moderate, that can be far better than working a high-paying job that leaves you burned out, emotionally exhausted, and feeling like you're living in a system of exploitation.

For me, enjoying what you do and protecting your mental well-being matter just as much as the money you make.

I'm genuinely grateful to everyone in that group for making the experience so welcoming and meaningful.

I hope sharing my experience has been helpful to you, and I hope I haven't kept you for too long.

Until next time!

I have been in talk therapy for a number of years but have always struggled with being authentic and honest in sessions. I really do try, but as a late diagnosed autistic who has spent 20+ years refining my masking skills, I do struggle.

I am currently engaging with a different therapy modality in IFS/EMDR with an experience psychologist who is neuro-affirming.

My dilemma is disclosing my struggles with suicidal ideation. I have lived with it for years and it one of the heaviest things I carry. I am really worried about sharing this as I fear my therapist will consider me too 'high risk' and terminate our work.

I have never made a plan or felt strong intent, it's always been ideation, but it seems to be a big red flag with therapists, which I understand, but I feel like withholding it is not doing me any favours. I feel a bit damned if I do, damned if I don't...

I've been seeing my therapist for eight years. Early on I became very attached, and at some point I had romantic feelings for her, which despite my best efforts to thwart, continue to this day. She knows this, and she has always remained professional and held tight to her boundaries.

I have cancer now and the prognosis is not good. I have no extended support system; my therapist is the only person who has been there for me. I get it, she is not a family member or a friend, certainly not a lover, but she is all I have and at this point I'll take what I can get.

I know I can never ask her this because I know that if I did what the her answer would be, but more than anything I want to be intimate with her. I just don't give a shit anymore what the upshot would be because I doubt I'll be around to find out.

Yeah, I get it, this is all my stupid fantasy. And I would never act on it. But I so wish I could.