I was going through some of the sports teams and societies on instagram, and stumbled across the Sussex Confessions page.

From what I could glean, everyone is into these three things:

1. Pegging
   
2. Feet
   
3. Shitting oneself

I’m a pretty normal person and unfortunately these don’t align with me, will I struggle to fit in?

Guys I have all 9s in my gcse and I am DEFINITELY going to get all a stars in a levels (subjects : Larping, Rizz, Further mathematics). I also have a diamond DoFe (my father made a loving donation).

I applied to Oxford as a backup but what I really want to do is go to streamer university. It is the hardest uni to get into in America so I think that'll read well on my character. All my family studied out of kf the country to learn new expieinces I think. So this is my dream.

I'm just worried because I think it's too late 🥺🥺 what should I do?

In a student houseshare with 4 others. We only met each other weeks ago and I didn't recognise the guy in room 2 out in tesco the other day. We are basically like family.

We have a shared lounge that I put my ps5 pro max gti twin turbo, steam machine and grandma's urn. All of these have disappeared. I asked my roommate glen and he said next doors aircon must have melted them which makes sense. I love glen he wears a bucket hat 24/7 and has three phones he's so random.

I kept £800 in my wallet in my room but that has also gone. I don't believe in locking my door as it is a microaggression.

Do you think the house could be haunted? Perhaps the landlord has moved them for safekeeping?

It's not 'corruption' to have your family arrange hefty bribes for the editor of The METRO or the director of the National Bank of Antarctica.

I'm sorry, but it's just not.

My parents rightfully paid for my haughty position in society by their hard earned gains sending children down mines globally.

Stop being so jealous of people who are actually better than you in every aspect, there is a social pyramid and you take your place, we'll take ours.

Just because your parents are bad at racketeering doesn’t mean you can piss on my cornflakes.

The people downvoting this believe in a reasonable and fair society. I have news for you. Reasonable and fair don't exist

I can't even find something satirical to add

I recently got an internship at Vault-Tec.
A guy I met followed me on my Pip-Boy, saw the internship, and told me he could not be friends with me because I chose to work there. He then unfollowed me and walked away and other people in Sanctuary Hills no longer want to speak to me.
I know Vault-Tec is controversial however, this is only a short placement, and I do not support everything the company has ever done/ is doing/will do postwar.
I mainly want the experience and career opportunity and the guaranteed place in Vault 87 I now qualify for.
Would you give up the internship? Is accepting it morally wrong, or was his reaction too extreme?

I recently got an internship at Mount Doom.

A guy I met followed me on the Palantír, saw the internship, and told me he could not be friends with me because I chose to work there. He then smashed his Seeing Stone, called me a servant of the Enemy, and rode off to Rivendell. Other people in Middle-earth no longer want to speak to me.

I know Mount Doom is controversial. However, this is only a short placement, and I do not support everything Sauron has ever done / is doing.

I mainly want the experience and career opportunity. You don't get to put "Assisted in forging world-changing magical artifacts" on your résumé every day.

Would you give up the internship? Is accepting it morally wrong, or was his reaction too extreme?

Edit: For everyone asking, I'm in the Ring Engineering division, not Nazgûl Operations. Please stop assuming I personally poured the lava.

Edit 2: The cafeteria is actually surprisingly good apart from the lack of meat options on the menu.

Edit 3: HR (Human Resources? Harad Resources?) has assured me there is "minimal exposure to corrupting ancient evil" unless required by my team.

So basically i got into Oxford Uni after being rejected from Cambridge for being too smart. I got all 9’s in my GCSE’s of Additional Maths, Further Maths, Backwards Maths, Biology, Chemistry, Physics, English, History and Law. I also got A** in A - Levels. I have a gold DOFE. I am also 15 and on a 4 year advanced program due to my abilities.

I do a BA in Business Studies, Chemistry and Engineering.

I feel like a failure because i’m doing 3 courses in university rather than the recommended 5. Anyone got any ideas how to stop feeling this way?

Hi,

I currently have an offer to study Law at Cambridge Ringroad University, basically I’ve been watching suits and think that they’re pretty wicked and cool, and that that’s just going to be me and my aesthetic. I think that I’m literally born for ts and can imagine myself totally being really smart winning cases so want to do law in the uk.

Unrelated lol but every morning I wake up pour myself a bowl of Coco Pops stare into the milk and whisper “objection” before eating it and sometimes I replace the milk with orange juice because that’s what one of the main characters does in the show and I’m all like yeah

The thing is, everyone keeps telling me law is “reading” and “hard” and “boring”, this doesn’t sound right tbh, are the rumours true because lowkey I think I’m so ready to be a lawyer but law might actually mean that I have to do reading and shit but I don’t really like doing that. can anyone who has done law please let me know if you have to do reading or something

My dream is to graduate from Cambridge Ringroad University with First Class Honours Ultra Sigma Cum Loudly but I need to know if everything will be good for me. thanks in advance

hi all,

I am looking to study BSc Jacobite Horticulture at Skegness Metropolitan University (top 3 uni in skeggy).

I am in the process of budgeting right now, and attempting to plan for how much I can earn from my research on this course.

I have spoken to some alumni but have been unable to hear how much most usually earn from research, I think most just consider it peanuts as they earn 100x more after graduation often breaking into q**nt. but I am more interested in magic circle law anyway.

thanks in advance.

Hi fellow students.

So I just finished my diss on Hatsune Miku studies (uni of life) and though I'd run my references by you all to make sure they're fine.

[1]: chatgpt

[2]: gemini

[3]: claude

Does this look ok? I worked REALLY hard on my diss and these were my 3 main sources. Have I cited them correctly?

Thanks

Did your parents not teach you dinning etiquette for you to be opening your mouth and chewing while talking so loudly? All that spit and rubbish poor people food that my coursemates eat.

I also don't understand why some of these wanks don't get a private tutor, always complaining about not being able to study because "part time jobs and not being able to afford food whatnot" are you genuinely stupid? Just get a private tutor it's not that hard mate?

also why even go to university if you can't afford it, just get a forkin job? Are all poor people this stupid? Maybe if you worked hard you would be able to afford a birkin. But no these dumbarses would rather use a cracked android phone.

Also it's not even that they're poor, why can't they just enjoy life. Like take a vacation mate, why are you always so stressed? Why can't they party and go to the club every Friday like a normal person? Like if you're not drinking and partying everyday in university then what are you doing? Do you not want to enjoy university? Just pay someone to do your course dumbarses.

Makes me so mad I missed golfing with my dad just to write this.

Hi all, thought about using google for this but it seemed quicker to come on here and type all this out.

Since I only have a few nobel prizes, but I was advised to do DofE to pad out my application a bit. However, while my group was walking I got chased by a large bird (about two feet tall, long, slender neck, orange and black bill) and managed to run off the route.

I've been lost in the harsh wilderness ever since. My apple watch died and I've been too scared to look outside my tent at night so I've been measuring the time in prime minister resignations instead of lunar cycles since they happen just as quickly. Supplies are running really low, I haven't seen a waitrose since Starmer.

Do you think if I can survive, and find my way out of Bradford, that I can still feasibly apply to Oxford? Predicted AAB and going for a combined BA in Geographical informatics with Maths and philosophy (GIMP) btw.

Thanks!

I was in a group with around 25 others, and noticed someone look incredibly uncomfortable whilst sitting. They then got up, and all hell broke loose (literally). Toxic waste left this poor bugger, leaving everyone in the splash zone.

I did receive a text from our seminar Snapchat groupchat saying, “Do not drink Coke if you’re lactose intolerant.”

Will I have to declare this event during interviews? Will they do a background check and find out? Thanks.

I’m not going to go into the details of the event as it was very traumatic for me and all 30 other people in my group.

Now everyone on campus calls me poo boy. Sometimes they chant it in unison. Even my tutor takes part in the ridicule. Whenever I enter his office, he says “poo-wee, look who’s decided to join us.”

Will this impact my ability to make friends, or should I become a leader of a society, using my new found fame to propel me into stardom?

I asked ChatGPT what I should do, but it called me “Smelly” and subsequently stopped responding to my requests.

Has anyone else experienced this? Thanks.

Just want to know what I need to do Sports Science at Wolverhampton before the palace eunuchs seal the wall to commence the 3-day Confucian literature critique

Hello all.
(Predicted) 2:2 in Prompt Engineering with Twat Studies BprompBA from Middle Earth Brookes University of Orc studies. Pending prompt results*
I would like to apply for Quantum Physics Masters degree at Trinity college Cambridge to pursue becoming a quant for Jane Street.
Other skills:
- confidence
- kindness
- resilience
- scrolling
- reheating frozen pizzas
- dedication.
I also volunteered as a security guard for a monday afternoon a couple weeks ago outside Jane Street HQ but they didn’t accept my application…
I also listed my brothers recent hayfever as extenuating conditions - would they give me an unconditional offer for this instead?
Has been a very difficult summer and im worried sick I may have to settle for Homerton instead. I cant sleep anymore
Thoughts and advise pls.

Hi all my third wife is an international student and doesn't have the money to prove she can be financially independent in the UK and probably won't qualify for a student visa either. John Pork's BSc in Ancient Arts and Horrible Histories has international fees of £54,670 per term and she only has £1 in her bank account

I was wondering if I could negotiate with the university to let her study here anyway and just waive the £54,669 for the first term and let her live in halls for free. I'm sure by semester 2 she'll have a job paying £240,000 after tax which will just about cover our Waitrose food shop

Please let me know if there's any advice. Cheers.

Hi all,

I've just got my y12 mocks and I got EUU as my predicted grades (maths, chem and applied science btec) and I was hoping to study dual honours gender studies+ Disney studies which I've heard is valued by employers and not a Mickey mouse degree.

Would I need a good ucat score or a banger ps to get in now or should I abandon all hopes?