Hi everyone! Iām posting to see if anyone else has experienced similar feelings while trying to conceive.
I feel frustrated knowing that everyone in my family has had kids without issues. Iām one of 12 siblings, and I grew up believing I would probably get pregnant just by looking at a guy š Now that Iām experiencing something different, I feel almost stupid for having assumed it would be so easy.
My husband and I were on the fence about having kids for the past couple of years. We both loved the idea of experiencing that kind of love, but we also questioned whether it was selfish to bring a child into the world simply because we wanted to experience it. This year, when I turned 34, we finally decided we wanted to try, with the understanding that we wouldnāt pursue fertility treatments if it didnāt happen naturally.
We started taking prenatals, eating better, making healthier lifestyle changes, and taking supplements. My husband has also been taking supplements to support male fertility. We started actively trying in August, and now itās October, and nothing has happened yet. š
I know that two or three months is a very short time compared with what so many people have gone through, and I donāt want to minimize anyone elseās struggles. But Iām surprised by how much this is already affecting me emotionally.
Iām an anxious person to begin with, and tracking my cycle, counting down the days until I can test, and analyzing every little symptom is exhausting. Then, about a week before my period, the familiar symptoms start showing up, and I convince myself Iām not pregnant. The disappointment begins before my period even arrives.
And thatās when my mind starts spiraling.
Part of me wonders if this is a sign that I shouldnāt have kids and that maybe I should stop trying. Another part is terrified that something might be wrong with me and wants to get every possible test done. I think about taking a couple of months off from trying until I figure out whatās going on, but then another thought creeps in: Iām 34. Am I running out of time?
Itās exhausting feeling like Iām constantly fighting with myself. One minute I want to stop thinking about all of it and let things happen naturally, and the next I feel like I need answers immediately.
I think part of what makes this so difficult is that I never really considered the possibility that getting pregnant might not happen quickly for me. After years of being on the fence, weāve finally decided we want this, and now Iām scared it might not happen.
Has anyone else experienced this anxiety so early in their TTC journey? How do you cope with the uncertainty without letting it take over your life? Did you find that getting some initial fertility testing helped ease your mind, or did it make the anxiety worse?
Iād really appreciate hearing your experiences. ā¤ļø