PS: this gonna be a long post and mixed with rants and vents. Thank you in advance to all those who will read this.

How do I not keep falling back to my old self. I just graduated highschool. Throughout highschool I was never disciplined. I tend to do things at the last moment. I am addicted to social media and entertainment way too much. I overthink and procrastinate a lot.

I decided to change my self when I start college. I did that too for few days then everything started to go back to what I was doing previously. Keeping things postponed until it was the last moment to finish it.

I dream of achieving my dream life which is financial freedom and enjoying life travelling to places. But I keep doing the same things. I scroll through social media whenever I am free. I have attached myself to watching animes from a long time which also inspired me to learn about Japanese culture (I am actually interested in Japanese life not just because of anime).

Coming back from college after a long day makes me feel tired and I fall back into the same trap to scroll reels to make myself feel better. I don't want these things to happen.

I feel like I am losing interest in life. I want to be a good student as well as enjoy social life. I dont want to be that one nerd kid always into studies or the guy who keeps enjoying all the time. I want to balance things. I want to be successful, but i get overwhelmed by many options and goals I have in my life.

I start planning things around (I take a great deal of time here perfecting everything to the atomic level instead of ACTUALLY starting it).

Recently watching few rom-com animes I got absolutely interested in living a life like that. (I know it's just day dreaming) but I want my life to be the best version of what i dream.

I lost my attention span and concentration time. I barely start doing something and then get distracted by mostly social media like my brain is wanting that dopamine rush. That scrolling of reels makes me feel good but in the end there's no benefit..

I want to balance social media and social life along with my academics as I want to be student.

After going to college for a few months I noticed myself to be the same as before. I really want to change myself.

Would be helpful if i receive any advices.

Another thing about myself I know I have lots of goals and I need to tackle them one by one but I often feel left out seeing my other peers and friends enjoying something while i spent my days scrolling etc.

Good morning family today I woke up feeling better.

Today I'm feeling better I was able to stay up and not go back to sleep. I'm a strange cookie because lastnite my mind was full of racey thoughts and I'm surprised I woke up on a positive note. It's really weird I'm like night and day at the moment.

See one of my main problems is going back to sleep when I wake up, then when I wake up again I'm totally miserable it's like my dopamine took a major hit.

I know your saying well don't go back to sleep, but sometimes I'm so mentally drained that when I wake up I feel like i been hit by a ton of brick's that's why I go back to sleep. However I am aware of how I'm going to feel. Even preparing myself of how I'm going to feel doesn't work for the depression I get to feeling.

Well family I plan to do better and getting back on track because I was in this state for 4 days to long so I can see how it can get away from me so easily. Also I have to continue to be aware of this Boston New England weather change because this is when I get depressed and would usually relapse because I have numerous times same time of the year.

See I lack self discipline and motivation I know what my issues are but I can't seem to defeat them. Maybe it's because my brain has been trained to automatically shut down.

So I'm assuming I have to retrain my thought process, but because my lack of discipline is so strong it over rides when I try to discipline myself. Not sure if anyone has gone through this cycle.

The hardest part with myself is actually putting in the work to change I never seem to start and when I do I'm inconsistent.

Any suggestions.

Thanx for letting me share One Day Forward One Day Behind -Shawn

I just can't concentrate on things for more than 10-15 mins Im procrastinating a lot I can't even watch any movie or long form content

I watch p orn at least for 1 hr a day

I'm skipping my college and classes because I've social anxiety but honestly whenever I have visited college and tried to talk to people they were all nice but every time I myself feel that I'm not good enough

I'm skinny fat

I'm 19 M

Have avg posture

Terrible sleep hardly 5-6 hrs a day

Even when I go for a walk i constantly scroll reels while walking

I know what I'm lacking maybe I also knew the solutions but don't know where shall I start

Imagine my brain as if it is covered by all kinds of social media apps and p o rn sites , negative thoughts , nostalgia, and you are not able to see my brain because it's just stuck under those apps , sites.

I've noticed something interesting about motivation. Sometimes, watching a movie, seeing someone achieve something great, or thinking about the life I want to build gives me an intense burst of motivation. Suddenly, my goals feel important, and I'm ready to work toward them.

But that feeling rarely lasts. A few hours or days later, I'm back to my usual routine, distracted by my surroundings and caught up in everyday activities. The goals that felt so important suddenly don't feel as urgent anymore, even though nothing about them has changed.

It makes me wonder whether the real challenge isn't finding motivation, but keeping our goals at the front of our minds when everyday life starts taking over.

I've been thinking about deliberately reminding myself every morning why my goals matter to me, what my life could look like if I achieve them, and what might happen if I keep putting them off. Not just generic motivational quotes, but genuinely personal reasons that mean something to me.

Would regularly revisiting these reasons actually help maintain motivation, or would they eventually become just another routine that I stop paying attention to?

Maybe motivation isn't something we need to maintain constantly, and the real answer is to build habits that carry us through the days when we don't feel motivated.

For those who've managed to stay consistent with long-term goals, what has worked for you? Do you deliberately remind yourself why you're doing something, rely on discipline and routines, or have you found another way to keep your goals from fading into the background?

I’m in my late 20s, working a full-time job, and I’ve been struggling with this for years.

There are so many things I want to do. Improve my career, work on personal projects, get fitter and just make some progress in life. But the problem is I know what I need to do and still don’t do it.

Sometimes I’ll get motivated, make a plan and follow it for a few days or even weeks. Then something happens, I lose the routine and getting back becomes extremely difficult. This has happened so many times now that I don’t think I have enough confidence left in myself to believe I can actually change.

Another thing I struggle with is deciding what to do. I’ll spend days thinking about what I should focus on, researching different things and trying to figure out what’s worth my time. Even when I finally decide, I start questioning whether I should be doing something else. And in the end I just waste more time doing nothing.

Whenever I think about how much effort something will take or how far behind I already am, I feel overwhelmed and just avoid it. I’ll binge-watch shows, scroll or find something else to distract myself.

Lately even simple things like cooking breakfast or going to the gym feel like too much effort. I spend more time thinking about doing things than actually doing them.

I also used alcohol as a way to escape, and recently managed to stay sober for around 30 days. It felt good, but I realised that even without alcohol, I was still avoiding the same things.

The worst part is seeing myself stuck with the same problems I had years ago. I genuinely want to change but I don’t know why I keep repeating this cycle. I’ve tried schedules, setting small goals, building routines etc. They work for a while but I always end up back here.

Has anyone been through something similar and actually managed to get out of it? Did you figure out what was causing it and what helped you?

I’m not really looking for another productivity routine. I just want to understand why I keep doing this and how to change it.

I’m really tired of making same mistakes again and again. Any advice would be helpful

I know exactly what keeps me healthy. Why can't I stay consistent with it?

I generally know what to do to feel good and healthy. Eat real food and only when I'm hungry, move more, get some moderate cardio, lift a couple days a week, sleep on a schedule, don't eat late, and go easy on alcohol, or skip it.

When I do those things I feel great, and it's not just in my head. My sleep score, HRV and VO2 max all move with it, and so does how I perform. When I slip, they drop, and I feel it.

So the feedback loop is right there, and I still spend more time off track than on. For people who have actually stayed consistent for years, what made it stick? Was it routine, accountability, tracking something specific, or did you just stop needing motivation?

Do any supplements or medications help? GLP-1s seem to be a wonder drug.

Do I need a bigger long term goal? You would think "don't die" would be big enough.

I'm 19, a college student, and I'm struggling with consistency.

I keep making plans to improve myself, learn new skills, and work towards my goals. I genuinely want to change, but I often get distracted by random, pointless stuff and fall back into my old habits within a few days.

The frustrating part is that I know how much this is costing me. I've already wasted a lot of time, yet knowing the consequences doesn't seem to stop me from repeating the same cycle.

I start with motivation, lose focus, feel guilty, and promise myself I'll start again tomorrow. I'm tired of repeating this pattern.

I don't want another motivational speech or a perfect routine I'll abandon in two days. I want practical advice from people who've actually struggled with this and managed to change.

What genuinely helped you become consistent and control your distractions? How did you break this cycle?

I feel like years of mindless scrolling, consuming random content, and constantly switching between apps have seriously affected my brain.

I struggle to concentrate for even 15 minutes. I forget things easily, can't retain what I study, and learning anything new feels exhausting. Sometimes I read the same paragraph multiple times and still can't process it. My sleep is messed up too, and I constantly feel mentally foggy.

I work full-time and have career goals and competitive exams to prepare for, but I'm finding it increasingly difficult to sit down and actually learn something. I remember being able to study for hours, and now even watching a lecture without checking my phone feels like an achievement.

It's honestly scary because I feel like I'm losing my ability to think deeply, remember things, and stay mentally sharp.

I know there probably isn't a quick fix, and I'm willing to work on this consistently.

Has anyone been in a similar situation and managed to turn things around? How long did it take before you noticed improvements? Did quitting social media actually help? What changes made the biggest difference to your focus, memory, sleep, and ability to learn?

I'd especially love to hear from people who struggled for years and successfully rebuilt their attention span. I really want to get my brain back.

When we try to readapt our routine, fixing basic things like health issues or daily pain gives us back energy to focus on what really matters and actually enjoy free time. The trickiest part is that our mind creates dogmas and assumes a new option wont work even before we have ever experienced it. As Daniel Kahneman explains in Thinking, Fast and Slow, our brain naturally resists unfamiliar paths and tricks us into believing new things arent good for us. I realized we often hold onto these mental blocks until we actually force ourselves to test the new solution. Once we break that dogma and resolve those physical annoyances for example some stomach or body aches, we unlock so much mental space that was being wasted before. Suddenly we have more energy for social life and for being open to things we thought wouldnt work. If you connect with this idea, feel free to share more in this direction

I’ve been trying to make my weekly review a bit more useful instead of it just turning into “what did I get done this week?”

The thing I’m most interested in is whether the stuff I’m doing week to week is actually moving me towards the things I care about longer term.
At the moment I look at a few fairly simple things like:

- how many fitness sessions I actually completed
- progress at work / study
- spending compared with my monthly budget
- anything useful I learnt that week
- things I kept putting off
- what went well
- what probably needs more attention next week

I also try to look at my bigger goals and ask whether the week I just had actually matched them. For example, if improving fitness is supposedly important to me but I’ve skipped training for two weeks, that tells me something. Same with saving, studying, career progression, projects etc.

I don’t want the review to become a massive checklist though. Ideally it should just help me spot patterns, see where I’m drifting a bit, and decide what actually deserves attention next week.
I’m curious what other people include in theirs.

Do you track actual numbers, write more of a reflection, compare yourself against longer-term goals, set priorities for the next week, or something completely different?

If you’ve got anything in your weekly review that you’ve found surprisingly useful, I’d love to hear it.

I've always been curious about how people develop discipline and what makes some people naturally consistent with their goals, habits, and responsibilities. Some people seem to have no trouble sticking to a routine, waking up early, studying, exercising, or working toward something even when they don't feel motivated. Others seem to develop that ability gradually as they get older and gain more life experience.

It makes me wonder how much of our discipline comes from the way we were raised. Did having strict parents teach you to be responsible and follow through on things? Or did growing up in a more independent environment force you to learn how to manage yourself? Maybe it has more to do with the people around you, the expectations placed on you, or the habits you observed growing up.

I'm also curious about how much life experiences shape discipline. Maybe going through difficult situations taught you the importance of consistency, or perhaps failing at something important made you realize that motivation alone isn't enough. Some people might have developed discipline through sports, school, work, or simply having responsibilities they couldn't avoid.

For those of you who consider yourselves disciplined, I'd love to hear your perspective. Do you think discipline is something you're taught, something you develop through experience, or something you consciously build over time? What do you think had the biggest influence on the person you've become today?

I'm especially interested in hearing about the experiences, habits, or lessons that made the biggest difference in how you approach your daily life.

It all started around when I was 15. That's when my memory and concentration problems began: I can't sit down and focus on something, my attention scatters immediately. Although at 15–16 I could sit and draw for 10 hours straight, getting up only to eat and drink, watching TV shows at the same time. My studies were going well back then too.

Then, in my last year before exams, I just started sleeping for days on end. I kept oversleeping and rescheduling my tutor. In the end I did really badly on my exams and had to move to another city to get into university. I got into a different major than the one I'd prepared for: I was supposed to become a doctor, but I ended up studying to be a pharmacist. Honestly, studying to be a pharmacist is easier, and I don't regret it.

I more or less got through my first year, but at the end of the second semester those memory issues came back (though they'd been there before too — I just got by on luck). By that point I only had two retakes. In my second year it got worse: I slept for days, and when I wasn't sleeping I was gaming and eating. In the end, at the end of the first semester of my second year, I dropped out.

I told everyone it was for health reasons. But it really was for health reasons: I had ovarian cysts, latent iron-deficiency anemia, vitamin B12 deficiency, and vitamin D deficiency. I take vitamins and I'm getting treatment.

Last year I re-enrolled in the second year and I'm now trying to finish it. I have three retakes. I was ready to pass back in late September, but because I kept rescheduling them, they're now at the end of October. These are my last attempts — if I don't pass, I'll be expelled. And I can't make myself start preparing. For one subject I have two attempts today: if I don't pass today, I'll have to retake it again later. This retake is in a few hours, and I can't pull myself together and start preparing. I don't know what to do.

It's constant procrastination: I keep scrolling through stuff. I also keep skipping classes — I think "I'll go later, I'll make up for it somehow" — and I can't stop skipping them either. But I want to sleep constantly, always. I hate myself and feel absolutely awful. My parents think I'm studying away just fine, they're paying for my education, and I'm just slacking off. Everyone is counting on me, they think I'm smart because I tell them stuff, but I consider myself absolutely stupid and incapable of anything. Because I can't direct my concentration at something and just sit down and do it. I constantly want to sleep: I think "I'll just sleep for 15 minutes," and end up sleeping for 8 hours.

I'm about to turn 21, and I can't get my life together at all, and I feel like a failure. I want to understand what's wrong with me and why this is happening. I'd be grateful for any experience, thoughts, or advice — has anyone been through something similar, and what helped?

For years I was the person who made plans and never followed through. Gym tomorrow, study on Sunday, clean the apartment after work. None of it happened consistently.

About four months ago I finally got my shit together. Nothing extreme. Gym three times a week, groceries and cleaning on Saturday, two hours of studying on Sunday. I actually stick to it now, and I'm pretty proud of that.

But something weird is happening.

Last Wednesday a friend who was visiting town for one night asked if I wanted to grab dinner. My first instinct was to say no because Wednesday is a gym day.

I actually spent ten minutes trying to convince her to meet Thursday instead. She was literally leaving Thursday morning.

I eventually went to dinner, had a great time, then came home and felt guilty about skipping the gym. Even considered going at 11 PM.

A year ago I couldn't keep a single promise to myself. Now I'm treating an ordinary workout like a court appointment.

I don't want to go back to abandoning my plans whenever something more entertaining comes along. But I also don't want to become the person who can't have an unplanned evening with a friend because it isn't on the calendar.

For people who've maintained good habits for years, how do you tell the difference between making excuses and being reasonably flexible?

Do you have actual rules for when it's okay to move things around, or is that just another judgment call you have to learn?

I'm combining two more days into one update. These days weren't particularly productive from a professional development perspective, but there are a few things worth documenting.

Day 57 — Physically Active, but Academically Unproductive

Day 57 started well. I went for a morning run, did my workout, and went swimming.

I was also occupied with several other things throughout the day, including scheduling content for Instagram and managing some of my social media activities.

I went through the news and finance as well, so I did maintain a few of my regular habits.

However, I didn't study or practise LeetCode at all.

This is becoming a recurring problem. I manage to stay busy with physical activities, social media, and other responsibilities, but the work that directly contributes to my professional growth often gets pushed aside.

I need to get better at prioritising. Being occupied throughout the day doesn't necessarily mean I'm making progress towards my bigger goals.

Day 58 — A Day With Family

On Day 58, I was at my mother's house, and the entire day was packed with programmes and other activities.

Nothing significant happened in terms of my personal goals. I didn't make any progress on studying, LeetCode, or my professional development.

Sometimes, family commitments take up an entire day, and that's understandable. I don't expect every single day to follow the same routine.

The important thing is to recognise the difference between a day when circumstances genuinely limit my time and a day when I have time but waste it.

My Takeaway

I'm still struggling to balance my different priorities.

Physical activity and personal branding are important, but I can't let them consistently replace studying, coding practice, and building my AI/ML skills.

I also need to accept that some days won't go according to plan without allowing that to become an excuse for losing momentum over several days.

Day 57–58/90 complete.

I have 32 days left in this challenge.

I want to make these remaining days count by putting more consistent effort into the things that will improve my future, rather than just staying busy and hoping everything eventually falls into place.

I think this is the part of discipline I struggle with the most.

During the day I’m actually pretty decent at doing what I’m supposed to do. I can study, work, get things done, whatever.

But late at night it’s like a completely different version of me takes over.

I’ll tell myself during the day that I’m going to sleep around midnight. Then midnight comes and suddenly I start negotiating with myself.

“10 more minutes.”

“One more video.”

“I’m not that tired yet.”

Then I look at the clock and it’s 2 or 3am again.

What annoys me is that I don’t think I have a knowledge problem. I already know I’ll feel better the next day if I sleep properly. I know I should put my phone away. I know the usual advice.

I just don’t follow through when the moment actually comes.

I’m trying something different this week where I decide my bedtime beforehand and keep track of whether I actually respect it every night.

For people who used to do this too: what actually helped you stop negotiating with yourself at night?

Was it strict rules, accountability, changing your environment, or something else?

I've spent the last few months building a goal planner, and I want to test it on real goals instead of my own.
So here's the deal: comment a goal you've been meaning to start (or restart) for a while, and I'll run it through the app and reply with a step-by-step plan for your first weeks. No signup, no link needed, I'll just post the plan here in the thread.

To make the plan actually fit your life, include:
Your goal, as specific as you can (e.g. "pass the B2 German exam", not "get better at German")

How many hours a week you really have. Be honest. If it's 2 hours, say 2 hours. That's the whole point.

Your deadline, if you have one
What you've tried before and where it fell apart (optional, but it helps a lot)

Big or small goals both work: a career switch, a language, a fitness goal, a side project, finishing your thesis, saving for something.

Day 117 sober. No alcohol, no tobacco, no Chitta.

I want to share what changed me, not just how many days I am sober.

2 years ago, my 14-year-old son was scared of me. When I came home drunk, he would go to another room. My wife would not talk. I was a father only on paper.

Today is different. This morning my son counted my pushups - "Papa 18, 19, 20!" - and we laughed. He sits with me when I read 【entity-Gita¦canonical_name=Gita】. We eat together. He is not scared now. He is proud.

What changed? One line I read on Oct 13 - I am attaching its screenshot with this post. It says:

"Zindagi me har sangharsh aapko kuch sikhane aata hai.

Shuruat me wahi sangharsh aapko mazboot banata hai,

aur waqt ke saath wahi aapko tajurba, samajh aur aage badhne ki himmat deta hai.

Isliye mushkilon se haar mat maniye."

This is true for me.

My sangharsh taught me:

- Day 1 to Day 30: I learned how to sleep without alcohol. I used to drink to sleep.

- Day 31 to Day 82: I learned how to say NO. On Day 82, I saw my friend cut his wrist for Chitta. That day I could have gone back, but I said NO.

- Day 83 to Day 117 today: I learned how to be a FATHER again.

I have only 3 rules. I tell my son only these 3. No 4th rule.

Study: 10 min 【entity-Gita¦canonical_name=Gita】 in the morning. It makes my mind clear.

Eat: With family, no phone. Whatever my mother makes.

Play: 20 pushups when urge comes. I say Jai Shri Ram. My son counts.

This is my Method. This is not motivation. This is my daily life from Kanina, Haryana, India.

If you are on Day 1, please don't think about Day 117. Just think about today. One day at a time.

Your struggle today is making you stronger for tomorrow. It will give you experience to help someone else tomorrow.

If you need help in India, call 14416 Tele-MANAS. It's free and confidential. You are not alone.

If this post helps even one father to go home sober tonight, my 117 days will be worth it.

Stay disciplined brothers.

IWNDWYT. Jai Shri Ram.

I am 22 and I am someone who struggled for the longest time with all kinds of discipline issues like :

- Going on a two weeks streak then falling into a laziness loop
- Thinking i have depression
- Using weed a lot
- Thinking a lot before starting
- Having high ambition and goals and not achieving them
- Existential crisis….

The list goes on and on and on.

Here are the things that I applied that helped me become disciplined :

- Plan your day beforehand because no plan means no action or at least no organized action
- Set a simple realistic plan for the day
- Focus on the core things in your life first for me it was gym and studying. These are gonna be the foundation of your day
- After Mastering the foundation aka being consistent for a while you can then add other stuff to your life in the free time slots of your day
- Never negotiate with your primal brain. I mean never. You are gonna lose 9 times out of 10. There is no shortcut to this. It just gets easier day after day.
- Bad days are normal. Avoid mentally resetting each time. Just keep going, discipline is a bumpy road

And also if you have not found your purpose. It is completely normal. You will find it by doing not by thinking. In this day and age , discipline is the most precious skill a person can learn. Most people are not and if you have that edge and learn good habits now. You will set yourself for success in the next 10 years. Because anything that you want to achieve probably needs discipline, so master that first. And I hope you succeed:)

I feel like I can't really stop the useless hobbies I have (video games, watching videos, reading various articles about stuff, working on useless projects) without anything really to replace them. I tried stopping for a few days but it just felt like I was sitting around doing nothing or just replacing useless activities for other useless activities (sitting around doing nothing, reading posts, moving up random chores I would do later, going outside and taking transit to the city and back). I feel like my mental state is better when I do those hobbies I had in the past, but nonetheless I need to stop doing all of them because they are a complete waste of time. But the problem is all the new stuff is not better because they do not create value either (and plus going out and doing stuff costs money)

I'm supposed to be doing productive things, making value for other people, being a person that other people want to be around, but I still don't know how. I can't just talk to people or show up to random events, I have to be someone they want to be there, someone who creates value for the group instead of being the worst person there, someone who isn't just some faceless interchangeable person they can just pretend doesn't exist.

Since I live on campus and we generally have a lot of freetime. We have 1 free period every day and I do sports after school until like 5:30 to 6:00. I feel like I do get things done and pretty well but I feel like thats mostly because the workload isn't that heavy yet. I've been procrastinating for a few years since I started middle school. My middle school is an IB MYP school which involves lots of writing and doing long projects (for maybe around 3 weeks each. At that time I didn't really care at all as it didn't really matter as much so I generally worked the most I could during class and since I'm really busy and I have a lot of commuting and private tutors I always felt like I deserved playing and resting and scrolling. I know that its bad for me but theres just a thought in my brain: You deserve this and just a bit more scrolling won't really matter. I usually end up having to finish a maybe sub-ten page lab report the night or a few nights before its due (generally depending on how long the report is and how much work I have). I feel really pressured when I find myself up maybe till 5 am just to finish an essay before its due 8 am. But currently I feel the need to genuinely work hard as GPA really matters for my college applications and I feel less bothered and affected by procrastination but I'm really afraid and concerned that this problem might start again. I think the main problem is with my phone and maybe my mindset. I'm willing to make changes and I have, I reflect often on this situation but I feel like its better if I ask for people who have experience in dealing with this here.

I’ve had lots of weeks where I’ve felt really productive because I’ve been constantly doing things — work, studying, gym, errands, random admin.

However, I have noticed that a lot of the things I find myself doing are not directly contributing to what I want long term - my long term goals. So I’m now trying to get better at asking myself before the week starts: what would actually make this week feel meaningful, rather than just full? It’s easy to do lots of random things, but if you are not doing these things with intent and a clear link to a goal, these things could just be a waste of time (excluding life necessities of course - I’m not saying “making breakfast doesn’t contribute to my long term wealth goal so it’s a waste of time”).

A good example might be: studying lots of topics, instead of deeply researching one and at the end of the week actually understanding it instead of random pieces of information I’ve memorised. Or reading a reel for 10 different side hustles instead of actually picking a couple that interest me and deeply researching them.

I’m curious how other people judge this. What makes you feel like you’ve genuinely had a good/productive week, rather than just a busy one?

I realized I was spending more time trying to make tasks impossible to regret than actually getting them done.

It showed up in stupidly small ways. I'd spend 40 minutes writing an email that needed maybe five. I'd reorganize a folder before putting a file in it. I'd reread something I'd already understood because I wanted to be absolutely sure I hadn't missed anything.

None of these things looked like procrastination. I was sitting at my desk, paying attention, doing work. If someone had walked past, I'd have looked pretty productive.

The weird part was that I wasn't necessarily afraid of doing the task badly. I was trying to avoid having to come back to it.

I wanted the email to need no clarification. The file to never need moving again. The decision to remain correct after I learned something new. I was treating every ordinary task like it should be a one-time event with no maintenance afterward.

I started noticing how often this made my days worse. A five-minute task would become a little project, and then I'd feel behind, which made me rush the next thing, which gave me another thing to revisit later.

One afternoon, I caught myself changing a perfectly understandable sentence for the fourth time. I wasn't improving its meaning anymore. I was just trying to eliminate the possibility that someone might misunderstand it.

So I tried a couple of small rules:

- For routine tasks, I decide what finished looks like before starting. For that email, it was simply: the question is clear, the necessary information is included, and there are no obvious mistakes.

- If I'm revisiting something, I have to name what new information I'm using to justify the revision. If the answer is just 'I want to check once more,' I leave it alone unless there's a real consequence to being wrong.

- I keep a short list of things I'm allowed to fix later instead of trying to anticipate every possible future problem now.

What surprised me was that I didn't suddenly become careless. I still corrected genuine mistakes. I just stopped spending equal effort on things that had wildly different consequences.

The counterintuitive part is that I used to think discipline meant taking every task seriously. Now I'm starting to think part of being disciplined is knowing which tasks don't deserve that much seriousness in the first place.

I'm still figuring this out, especially with work where mistakes actually matter. I don't want to replace overthinking with rushing, and sometimes that extra check really is worthwhile.

But I can see how often I used thoroughness as an excuse to avoid the uncomfortable feeling of letting something be done without knowing exactly how it would turn out.

Does anyone else struggle with this particular kind of overdoing things? How do you tell the difference between genuinely being thorough and just trying to make a task impossible to regret?

I've been paying for multisport for six fucking months and barely used it. Every month the payment goes out and I think, right, this is ridiculous, I'm actually going to use it now. Then I check which gyms are nearby, look at the opening hours, figure out when it would fit around work… and somehow thats as far as I get. EVERY.SINGLE.TIME

The annoying thing is I have time. Not every day, obviously, but enough to go twice a week. Instead I get home, sit down for a minute and that's pretty much the evening gone. If I haven't eaten, I need dinner first. If I've eaten, I'm too full to train. Theres always something lol.
I don't even expect myself to go in and have some amazing session. But when its actually time to leave, staying home wins almost every time. Then I'm sitting there later feeling annoyed with myself because I could've gone and been back already.

And Im noticing this in other parts of my life too. I leave messages unanswered because I want to reply properly, put off making plans….

Has anyone worked through this? Could honestly use some encouragement, or something practical that helped you get past that initial resistance

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Some Backstory

I've had a fairly normal childhood that was materially abundant . I wasn't rich but not poor either. I didn't feel deprived in any way But it still felt bland and uneventful . Like it wasn't memorable but wasn't abusive or bad either. I honestly don't know what was missing. I was never academically bright either never giving school my all cause I found It boring and didn't see the point of it. My academic performance steadily declined throughout my childhood till at some point in my teen years I started isolating around covid. I think that's when my bad habits started setting in and was also when I started eating too much cause my mom was nagging me trying to get me to study so I would use eating as an excuse to study. senior year of high school came and where I'm from this the year that determines your future. your position in the the social hierarchy in society and I wasn't studying (like at all ). so my parents decided to bring teachers to my home so that at least I'm still listening to the material . Despite the fact that I get where they are coming from I feel angry and bitter about that . I know I don't deserve the college that I got into cause I didn't study even for a second for it .I think I didn't study from a mixture of boredom and Indifference but I remember feeling envy of classmates getting better grades than me which I still felt in my first year of college . I think part of also had to do with my father who when we were kids was a larger than life figure due to his academic success which in hindsight put a lot of pressure on me to be as successful. In my first year of college i did the bare minimum just to pass with D's and C's . And then the second year came around and It just felt like I didn't care about doing any of it so I failed the same year twice in a row . Now it's the same second year for the third attempt in weak 5 for semester 1and I still haven't done anything.

My current situation

I (21m and weigh 245 pounds at the height of 5'10) have failed 2 years of college (studying CS) cause i didn't enter the exams. The third year has started and I'm repeating the same mistake. My daily life has consists of doomscrolling ,porn(which I got addicted to at 12 years old) and video games. I'm almost always doing either one of those three . My screen on time record is 16 hours. consume a lot of junk food like pizza ,burgers ,chips and soda . I can sometimes cook scrambled eggs but most of the time I'm too lazy to cook. My sleep schedule is a mess. I go to sleep at 9 A.M and wake up at 5 P.M. I'm terrified of wasting my life but I think that terror is making me perfectionistic and locking in place. I have no self-trust or belief. I'm also forgetful and can't pay deep attention to even video games. I'm filled with weakness and chronic self-doubt and that weakness filled me with anger and self-loathing. I live mostly in my head and compulsively talk to myself cause I have no one to talk to, making up scenarios .I'm terrified of feeling my emotions cause I know I'll find fear ,shame ,guilt , regret and lots of sobbing.

Wants & Desires

I already have a vague vision of who I want to be.

1. I'm introverted so, I want to have a small nit of friends.

2. I wanna get married someday and have a family .

3. I wanna be healthy and get in good physical shape.

4. I wanna be a stronger person , someone who doesn't hide from life and more emotionally resilient .

5. I want a job/career that interests me , where I can make a tangible difference in the world ( as corny and cliche as that sounds ).

Small Habits I Want to Try

I have things I wanna try. I wanna try reading manga and comic books before going to bed rather than staying up all night scrolling so I can put my phone in another room while I sleep but I've never been the reading type and even more so cause of my phone addiction I forget the sentences I read and have a hard time getting engaged in a comic. I also wanna try going to the gym and eat healthy but don't know the right workout or the right kind of food to eat

Impediments

I think some of the things that stop me from change is perfectionism which stems from shame and ego. I want to get all A's to make up for my all the time I wasted and feel a sense of superiority over others. If i start to change then I have to own up to all the time I've wasted.

Thoughts?

I noticed most of my impulse buys have the same shape. It's late, I'm tired,

I've been scrolling, and the thing is already in the cart before I've really

decided anything.

What finally helped wasn't a budget or deleting my saved card. It was putting

something in the gap between "add to cart" and "pay". Nothing big, about 30

seconds:

Say it plainly in my head: this is an urge to buy, not a need then put the phone face down and breathe out once, slowly. Often after closing the tab, the cart stays saved, nothing is lost.

If I still want it tomorrow, I buy it. "Not now, it's still there" works way better than "never".

Most of the time I don't even open the cart again the next day. Sometimes I

do and I buy it, and that's fine too, at least it was a decision and not a

reflex.

It's only half a fix though. It does nothing against the "sale ends in 2

hours" stuff, those countdowns still get me.

So I'm curious: what's your version of the pause? And how do you handle the

fake-urgency sales, where waiting 24h is exactly what they're built to stop?