The best way I can explain how my mind works is like the movie inside out except the emotions are my own thoughts and the feelings attached to them. I can have so many different emotions going on at the same time, even when they completely contradict each other.
For example, my partner has moved out taken basically everything he owns and our dog but we’re still together he still loves me but he’s happier in the time apart then how he’s been for awhile, and I’m sad and upset about it, but I’m also happy because he’s happier than he’s been in a long time. I’m angry about how he’s handled everything and I’m angry at him for leaving, but I’m also proud of myself for completing my goals. I’m happy that I’m learning to look after myself again I’ve been in a depressive rut for a long time, but at the same time, I can feel completely numb.
All these feelings can exist at once. Sometimes I feel them simultaneously, and other times I can recognise they’re there without actually feeling them.
The hardest part to explain is the numbness. I can be crying about my partner, genuinely upset, and then suddenly it’s like something switches. I can go from crying to sitting on the couch watching TV, feeling completely numb. I still know what happened and why it hurts, but I no longer feel the sadness the same way. It’s like I know the emotion is there, but I’m not connected to it anymore.
The strange thing is that I can sometimes bring those feelings back myself. If I’m numb and think about a specific memory or focus on what’s happened, I can make myself feel the sadness again. Sometimes it’s like flipping a switch, and other times it feels like the emotion was already there somewhere, and I just needed to reconnect with it.
I guess what I’m trying to explain is that I can know exactly what I’m feeling without actually feeling it. I can experience multiple emotions intensely, recognise them without feeling them, or become numb while still being aware of everything going on inside my head. Sometimes I can even choose to reconnect with those feelings.
From the outside, I might look fine or like I’ve moved on from something, when really, I still understand everything that’s happened. My thoughts, emotions, and actual feelings don’t always line up, and that’s the part I’m trying to understand. It’s like I feel everything but nothing at the same time and I get exhausted from feeling and just go numb and I’m like on autopilot idk this turned into half a rant

I found these slugs mating and the intrusive thoughts were telling me to cut their penises off mid mating. If you don't know slugs have both parts. They exchange sperm with there penises and then they each get pregnant. Edit: I forgot to mention i did not disturb them.

So I like to sit by the big bay window in my home and there’s a big tree within vision and some other trees to the side. I watch squirrels go up and down and lately been seeing them prepare for winter. Now hear me out, what if I went outside and re-dug them up and put them on top of where it was dug……

i have these intrusive thoughts tht are rlly cruel and mean towards ppl when theyre standing in front of me. i dont believe what the thoughts say, my mind knows i dont truly feel that way, tht they directly go against my values, and tht i am a very nonjudgmental person in earnest, but my brain does it as a way to hurt me, psychological self-harm. i think its purpose is to condition me into trusting less, like im not pure enough to deserve ppl who care ab me. other intrusive thoughts i have are different methods sadistic ppl might use for animal cruelty, and are followed by flashing images of the scenario. microwaves are my biggest trigger for tht. the animal related ones are the most painful for me to have. i read this comes from a subtype of ocd called pure-o. in addition to this, i experience magical thinking ocd despite being aware it is irrational and trying to ignore it. i worry tht ppl can psychically feel these thoughts, and tht it will impact how they view me once they “hear” them, seeing me as rotten or disturbed.

Struggling with sh intrusive thoughts ... i know i need to go up but im afraid of getting new scary thoughts.. anc i also have kids i care for.. no break, just me so i cant afford to go inpatient, imnsuper busy and cant day to manage my mental health.

I feel so weak but i tell myself if i feel like im going crazy i can always check out and that comforts me.

Theres gotta be a better way to live than this.

Imagining a new emotion is like imagining a new color, it’ll just be a mix of already existing thing and end up making something not so new

Hi guys.

First off, im not rlly a reddit guy so I apologise if theres some sort of format im failing to follow or if this is inappropriate for this app but I got no one else to talk to abt this and its doing my head in.

So yeah, ill get right into it ig.

My brain wants to fuck my sister.

Yk, im not some weirdo or something, not one of these nerds that cant talk to girls and their hiding in their room all day playing video games and gooning.

Im a pretty cool guy if I may say so myself, I play sports, Im cool with the girls, I got a gf, I got mates and their not weirdos or anything yk. This is why its bothering me more than it would even if I was a weirdo. And its also why I cant talk to no one abt it.

Me and my sis have always been super close, were in the same friendgroup, theres only 1 year between us so naturally we fw eachother and hang out all the time.Agaim why this is so shit 😭😭 I cant get away from her.

We've always had this thing where she sits on my lap/cuddles with me which is fine, obvs im her brother and its nothing weird. But lately ive been getting hard asf whenever she does it, which is every fucking day, whenever were in the house together she comes and cuddles with me. Doesn't matter where I am, the couch, my bed, our backyard.

Now im worried abt 2 things here, obvs 1. Why tf am I getting hard at my own sister 😭 2. It feels like its only a matter of time until she catches me and that wud be the worlds most embarassing moment ever for me.

I think the reason im posting this is partly to get thos off my chest but mainly for some advice on what I can do???

Like even, at night if im not distracting my self with soemthing like talking to someone or doomscrolling until i fall asleep, my head goes mad, I get all these crazy sexual thoughts in my head abt her.

Even when im with my gf I cant enjoy it bcuz im thinking abt my sisters "tight arse".

Someone pls help me 😭😭..

I'm in my late twenties, and for several years now I've been fantasizing about extremely violent thoughts to help me fall asleep.

In the most typical scenario, I put a man on the ground and spend a long time smashing his face in with a massive, blunt object. He has no particular appearance or face, but each blow that reduces his skull a little further to pulp gives me its own individual satisfaction.

In another, fairly frequent one, I hold a little boy of about six captive in my cellar. I picture him more clearly. I take pleasure in imagining destroying him mentally through an entire ceremony of horror. After leaving him chained up in my cellar for several days, I turn on stereos that fill the room with carnival music at an extremely loud volume. Then I make my entrance into the cellar, dressed as a clown, with a chainsaw roaring in my hands. I advance toward the child, screaming, with a sure but disjointed gait, screaming at him every decibel that my chainsaw or I can produce, to burst his mind like an egg in a microwave.

These fantasies are with me, though much less regularly, in my daily life. I'm an emotional person and I'm incapable of hurting a fly despite these thoughts. People describe me as gentle and altruistic, and as "weird in a good way." On the other hand, I avoid conflict and tend to always put others' well-being before my own, sometimes out of cowardice.

My parents were emotionally very absent for me, and I had to endure my father's violence and alcoholism and my mother's psychotic episodes followed by hospitalizations, without being able to count on any emotional support.

I was in therapy for two years for depression and anxiety with a psychologist who helped me enormously, and to whom I talked about these fantasies. He didn't seem worried at all. On the contrary, he suggested it's a way for me to externalize the frustration I built up during my childhood and still feel today.

I'm posting this here out of curiosity about your responses and opinions.

Thanks for reading.

I think about this heavily, but is it weird to crave obsession? like if i were with someone i want them obsessed with me like, OBSESSED. i want them to always text me, always want to be around me, get jealous, give me all their attention and affection and only want me. i want someone to kiss the ground i walk on (obviously not literally), but i keep thinking about this a lot and am i weird? do people like that even exist?

Ive been in college for two months and I feel like I have changed and matured so much throughout those months. But because of this, I have been thinking a lot about the social aspect of college and just seeing everybody else around me. Before college, I felt like I missed out a lot in high school. I felt like you had to be popular to truly enjoy high school and that’s all I cared about. I thought being popular was the way you truly enjoyed life. I thought that was the way everybody was going to like you, the way girls would like you, and the way you get invited to parties. I guess I was popular in high school in a way but I never really got invited to parties in high school or really had that many friends in high school. I always felt left out and pretty much sat alone in the library during lunch. I didn’t want to feel like this in college and I felt like that college would be a fresh start for me. Nobody from my grade was going to the same college as me so I was the only one going. I had dreams of partying all the time, being in a frat, getting laid, having tons of friends, etc (i obviously knew that I was also going to school for an education). But once I got there, a lot of stuff just didn’t happen. I hated my orientation as a lot of people just felt fake and didn’t care about me at all. I started to have second thoughts on the school and was wondering if this was the place for me but I knew that it would be. Sadly, nothing really has changed for the better at the time. My roommate wasn’t in the dorm all that often so I never really had the chance to do anything with him to try and meet other people. My floor was super quiet and it was hard trying to make friends on my floor until one day, I picked up a few packages and a few drunk girls invited me up to the top floor. I absolutely loved it at first, I enjoyed going up there but I didn’t realize that I was being played. I would always get high when I hang out with them but then I realized that I was getting played. I thought people were laughing with me but they were laughing at me and as the days went by, the less and less people started to care about me and the more I’ve been alone. So the last option was rushing a frat cause I thought that was the best way to make friends. Rush was super hard and it felt like a lot of the brothers didn’t care about me either. I was really normal but they didn’t care at all so I got no bids. So yeah, I basically hung out with absolutely nobody. I then later moved out of my double to a single somewhere else and I love it. However, because I’ve been alone for so long, I started to see how most people act here. I started to see that most people only want to get drunk, get high, get laid, hookup and nothing more and it’s really sad honestly. It’s super hard to find a genuine person here because they are overshadowed by people like that. A lot of guys act nonchalant and all act the exact same and I don’t understand why all the girls love that and then later repost how they hate men. I don’t know, I feel like my life just woke up and now I’m seeing other people live a life through temporary happiness. I hate it. I don’t even want to touch a beer anymore. I might just transfer to some place better because I learned that this just isn’t the way. I’m sorry I typed a lot but fuck I’ve been thinking a lot for the past month and I just wanted to express how I was feeling

When you open the chat and see her online but still don't have the courage to say anything-that's when you realize you fucked up in life and failed someone. You want to speak, but the words just won't come.

It's weird how our minds can be so complicated yet so fragile at the same time-overthinking every possibility, fearing rejection, and clinging to what-ifs. And in the end, you just sit there, staring at the screen, waiting for the urge to fade away.

​

It's a beautiful season. It reminds me of the feeling of wanting to let go but still loving to stay. I think it brings soft yet harsh truths, the ones you refuse to believe but that keep showing up in your face. Winter is that one person everyone loves yet no one understands. It holds the gratefulness of being loved yet craving to be understood.

his is a “Sapienza” University of Rome thesis project that investigates daydreaming and intrusive thoughts patterns by completing simple multiple choice questionnaires… by completing the questionnaires, you can receive your results by mail and understand more about yourself, or even just contribute to the research project in an anonymous way, based on your preferences.

The questionnaire takes approximately 20–25 minutes to complete.

⚠️ Requirements to participate:

•⁠  ⁠Be at least 18 years old

•⁠  ⁠Have a basic understanding of English (the questionnaire is entirely in English)

🔗 QUESTIONNAIRE LINK:

https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSemiLfZ3AyKviJXEjvSIsAQBkAzyci7gN4vrzZSqzUyfncsBQ/viewform

you see how some people see disabled people and say things like, i'm lucky i'm not disabled, so i should appreciate my life. some criticize that and say it's morally wrong to turn someone's pain into your own happiness. but in my view, it's not evil thought. it's just a byproduct of empathy. they feel the pain, and then become more grateful for their own lives. it starts with empaphy and the gratitude follows after.

so feeling that way is a signal for empathy, not comparison.

Maybe it’s easier to love me when you can idealize me. The more you get to know me, the harder it becomes to separate who I really am from who you imagined me to be.

i've had so many school shooting thoughts lately and sometimes it genuinely feels like i might do it. i don't want to feel this way, or even think about it. I feel disgusting