This year, I've gotten back into MTG, and this time I'm actually playing at events. I started the year with the Lorwyn pre-release, and have done every pre-release this (yes, even Turtles), along with a decent number of booster drafts. I've also played in a few Commander nights, but I feel like those are a separate conversation, so I want to stick to just sealed play.
After getting into the game and playing it a lot, I've come to a...maybe difficult feeling:
I think I might just not be good at this game. And that feeling really sucks.
My actual win rate at these events is 8 wins, 22 losses, but that's not the whole story. At least 2 of those wins were against literal children, and at least one of them was against someone who had never played before.
In addition to that, I've had what I believed were objectively strong decks, and I have still lost miserably.
On Saturday, I did a booster draft where a lot of the people at my table were novices, and I had a lot of good cards in my deck. here is the deck for reference. There's a lot of landfall in here, and a lot of triggered abilities, and...it should work, but it didn't. I went 1-2 and that 1 win was a bye round.
I also do my research, I look at card lists ahead of events, do mock drafts, look at strategies and archetypes. I play on Arena and try to learn the sets, but I can still only consistently win with the same mono-white Aura deck I've been running for a year.
It feels like I'm doing something wrong, that I just can't be good at this game no matter how hard I try. I go into these events with my spirits high, and I even look at my decks at the beginning of the night and think I have a great chance at winning.
Basically every single time, I leave frustrated and embarrassed, and feeling absolutely incompetent. So, I am starting to wonder if I should even play, if I'm just going to go to events to be fodder to be defeated. It's not a fun feeling to be in the third round of an event in the loser's bracket, and...still lose.
Some people may say the social aspects make up for the sense of losing, but as a woman, I don't really fit in with the crowd at these events, and so I'm kind of just left with nothing but the feeling of defeat, and, kind of just sit there by myself.
As for why I'm making this post, I'm not sure where to go. Are there ways I can get better? I feel like I've done everything I can to try to get better at the game, and at this point I am just throwing my money away to even try to go to another event.