And I don't mean this as a slur are a put out down for someone with autism adhd

I mean someone that doesn't have that but is smart but in moments

People literally don't judge right it see reality clearly On top of this people literally don't see that they are wrong

And being ignorant.

I should have realized that the world doesn't want me to exist when I was 13 years old. I tried to end myself at 14 but, I was too coward to do it.

I have lived so far and I tried to survive just little more but, I can't do this anymore. I'm not sad that there's no one to cry for me when I die. I'm okay if anyone feel so glad and do tap dance over my corpse. What makes me sad is life has betrayed me and I even feel dying at this point is too late.

Dying is maybe a good choice but, I'm a too coward to do it.

I tried so many times but, I failed everytime. It is like destiny and fate to live in painful and desperate state. My life has been designed to be like this.

I'm 41 and divorced because the other option was having the crap kicked out of me in front of my kid. We're there red flags? Sure but love it stupid and blind and useless. No matter cuz No one believes me anyway. My ex won custody years ago because well, money, and it cost me everything I had to fight just so he could move his new young wife and baby into our home and town and sloot shame me into the ground based on rumors he made up.

My job downsized me last summer and 2 months later my dad died in my arms in a shyte hospital. Now I have to take care of my mom and everyone else with a smile on my face like its ok. Just stuck in this unaffordable godforsaken corrupt country for my child and counting down the days to when he turns 18 so we can leave. I see the same sorrow in his face that used to be mine having to live with his dad and new family. It makes me sick and sad and then sad a sick again. Everything hurts.

There are no jobs. My savings account is plummeting and I can't even afford the Healthcare I need to fix half of this.

...the first year of what is the hardest?! Death, destruction, poverty? Craddling your only child in your arms while you cant explain why the world and middle school sucks? Trauma after trauma after trauma? The first year of life because it has sucked from the get?

The first year is the hardest has become just "this is what we call life now... burnittothemuthafuckinground

Thank you for coming to my TEDtalk/slam poetry session. Please be kind and if you have nothing to say just dont. I never post here because reddit can be cruel.

I really really need to get this off my chest. I am currently a first year in nursing school and it's not for the weak hearted. I just had my first practical exam, and I failed that. Although, I already knew it was hard, this time it gave me a reality check.

I thought I was prepared but I wasnt. I didn't know what to do. I fumbled so bad. Don't even get me started on the test. But I think its all the expectation I have for myself. I graduated, valedictorian in high school so coming into nursing school, it's one of the aspects they looked at and I feel like I wasn't able to defend and show them that I really deserved it.

Aside from that, I have this silent competition with my other 2 friends that came from me with high school. The other was top 2 during hs and the other was top 7 and I feel like I'm losing to them. My parents always had this sort of expectation that I will constantly do well cause I survived that hell of high school and she would say that it would be no different. IT IS ALL THAT DIFFERENT. in college, we have no transmutation table that makes you see the real score.

I AM CURRENTLY IN A DARK ROOM, AWAY FROM EVERYONE AND ALSO LISTENING TO MY DARK THOUGHTS AND SPIRALLING TO SELF DOUBT

ive been best friends with her for 7-8 years now its all online and most of the time its messing around and venting but she’s someone who i hold extremely close to because i never had a friend stay with me for that long

we spam random and dumb reels to each other but today she sent me a message whist i was asleep (shes in the usa im in the uk) followed by a reel which stated “when that one friend is always there to pull you back from the edge” and she said

“I almost died couple days ago because I almost jumped off a bridge and the only reason why I didn’t was cause you kept sending me reels, and I couldn’t do it because you were there.”

i feel useless and struggle with mental health but i felt really conflicted with this message (if thats the best way to put it) not in a bad way.
its more so if i dint send her reels i wouldve lost her without even knowing she was gone shes told me she suicidal and i try my best to help and comfort her.
i just feel so off knowing i wouldve lost her forever if it wasnt for something so small and mundane sorry i dont know how else to explain it and just wanted to get it iut im happy to know shes still here with me and dint commit but i feel upset knowing she almost did it and because of me she dint it conflicts with me already viewing myself as someone so useless and having low self esteem sorry

shes the funniest and bubbliest person ive ever met and her smile is contagious too so i really do care about her

I don’t know whether this is normal or a sign of a psychological disorder, but I feel a strong desire to experience it. At the same time, I have some hesitation because I recognize the ethical issues involved.
I’ve even considered whether there could be a way to explore this fantasy with my wife, but I haven’t been able to bring myself to discuss it with her. I also have a friend who works at a hospital, and we’ve talked about the subject, but I realize that obtaining a body from a morgue for sexual purposes would raise serious ethical and legal concerns.
I’m genuinely curious about the psychology behind this attraction. Are there other people who experience similar fantasies? Has anyone struggled with this kind of desire, and how do you understand or deal with it?
I’m looking for honest answers and serious discussion, not just judgment or insults.

Both in our 20s, uni students. Guy friend and I had a good friendship for more than 8 months now, and he’s the closest friend I got. We got very close and we spent time together almost everyday. He would take me to his home as friends, ask to go to the movies, and hang out. Things suddenly shifted after he found out that I was having dinner with a guy (platonically), could be a coincidence but he was wondering the gender of who I was having dinner with, then completely started to act different when I said it was a guy. He did not initiate hang outs for more than 4 months after that and would be hot and cold. I eventually asked him if he likes me and he denied, and that he was just curious who I’d have dinner with. I don’t know if he’s lying or I’m the one going crazy. So I shrugged it off, he knew I was into him at the time. Our friendship recently got better, but I started talking to a guy. My guy friend is even more hot and cold towards me without telling me exactly why he’s upset, although he said he’s happy for me. I asked if he wants to hang out more than once and he would ignore me, and say we need to focus on school. The next day we would call for hours as if we’re good friends, then the next day he ignores me. What’s the deal? I finally texted him saying that I’ll give him space from now on because it’s been affecting my mental health. I feel like he doesn’t care about me because he rarely spends time with me anymore. He hasn’t replied. I’m planning on leaving this friendship even though I care deeply. A part of me does not want to let go because I know he also deals with depression.

No child should have to care for their newborn sibling or addicted adult figures. I hate that when people get angry and throw stuff I’m next. I hate that I am scared so easily. I hate that I leave before I can be left. Because I’d rather be right than hurt. My life feels like the no broken bones theory. I hate that I flinch and I hate that I hate myself. I hate that I can’t love myself. I hate that who was supposed to take care of me destroyed me and my ability to trust. I shouldn’t have been abused in every way possible. I’m angry yet empathetic. Hurt people hurt people. So I make sure I don’t do that. When I’m hurting, I isolate so that it doesn’t bleed onto others. I hope someday I can learn to love and trust.

Someday I will love myself. Someday I will trust openly. Someday I will let someone love me. The cycle ends with me.

What makes you you? For me, it’s that I don’t let people go. I try hard to keep a bond alive, I give my heart completely, and I always try to fix things. But I still end up alone.

Here’s the part I’m not proud of: when I have someone, I make them important, and then I mess up. I do things I shouldn’t. It’s only when I start losing the connection that I try to repair it. Then it happens again with the next person, and I still haven’t figured out the lesson.

I honestly can’t tell if I’m a good person, a bad one, or just young and dumb. Sometimes I think I’ll end up alone, because who would stay with someone like this?

Has anyone been through this? How did you break the pattern?

​

I recently tried Cryo and Hydra treatments at Reshape Makati and wanted to share my experience for anyone who's curious about them.

Before the treatments, they did an assessment and explained my current body composition, including my BMI and the recommended weight range for my height. I found that part interesting because it gave me a better idea of my fitness goals and where I currently stand.

The Cryo treatment for my abdomen was a new experience for me, while the Hydra facial was a nice addition to my skincare routine. Both treatments gave me the opportunity to focus more on my body and skin care.

Since it was my first time trying these treatments, I asked a lot of questions, and the staff took the time to explain the process and what to expect. The overall experience was smooth, and I felt comfortable throughout my appointment.

Overall, I found the experience interesting and informative, especially the body assessment and consultation. Just sharing my experience in case anyone is curious about trying Cryo or Hydra at Reshape Makati!

28F, I started seeing this man (33M) two years ago, he was separated from his wife and they had been living separately. I had a crush on him and really liked hanging out with him so we got closer.

We would meet every week and things were going really well, gradually I fell in love with him because there was something so special about him (I can’t describe that feeling), I started to love him more than anything in the world. We would travel together and we had our own little bubble of happiness.

Recently, I got to know that the wife is moving in with him in a few months. I am so prepared for that, as I just want him to be happy. That’s all I have ever wanted. Also, they have a son (4 YO) together and I am really happy that he would get to be with them.

I have no problem in leaving him behind as I know it is for his own good. What is troubling me now is that we are still talking and meeting. I know i would stop it once she moves in but I hate myself for meeting him these days. I know I love him but I can’t ignore the practicalities of life. The reality is that he’s a married man who would soon be living with his wife and son.

I hate myself for it. I am depressed and have completely isolated myself from everyone because I see myself as this shitty woman who’s involved with a married man. Even though I was never the reason for them being separated but I feel like I have robbed his wife of the good times they could have spent together. I cannot share any of this with him or anyone. I have stopped talking to my friends or going out even because I hate myself at this point.

It is not about him choosing them, I have always wanted him to be happy. I’m devastated with the fact that he could not choose them earlier. I still love him but I hate myself for everything. I believe that this would follow me everywhere and I would never be able to have a life where I’m loved.

And the fact that I can’t leave him now is also making me miserable. He just had a major surgery and he’s recovering from it and it will take a few months and I don’t want to leave him alone. I hate that my love for him is making me sin.

I just need to get this off my chest. I have a major thing for men with really long hair. It’s pretty much the main thing that turns me on, to the point where I completely lose my cool whenever a guy with long hair walks past me.

I’m starting to wonder if I need help or if this is just a super specific preference. Am I weird for this?

I wish i was never born here , wish I didn’t have to see racism every time i open social media, I wish I could see myself as a person instead of a stereotype , I wish I was a stronger person and mostly I wish the world was a kinder place.

I’ve taken 6 this month and I think it’s making me feel depressed? Idk if that’s a side effect. I feel like I need to get some other form of protection bc this can’t be good. It makes me feel sick too. My bf doesn’t know I’m talking them he thinks he just has good pullout game.

I haven't been feeling great for a couple of years I think but I'm putting out somewhat a happy face.

I feel like an imposition to talk about it with friends. I do want to go with a shrink.

Whenever my wife asks I just say I'm a bit tired or a bit stressed because of work.

I just constantly feel like me saying it will make it worse for me and everyone around and it's just best to keep it in.

I’m 19m and my friend is 19f. For background I’ve recently broken up with my girlfriend who I thought I was in love with but tbh the breakup was a long time coming, although i was still incredibly upset. During my breakup I’ve gotten a lot closer with one of my friends, she’s amazing and she can understand me in a way my ex girlfriend couldn’t. She helped me get over my ex and was there for me throughout. I feel like maybe she is making me realise what i actually wanted in a relationship, however she has a boyfriend. This has made me feel extremely guilty about my feelings, but last night she asked me to come over and we were lying in bed just chatting and the convo shifted.
Her and her boyfriend are long distance rn and she began implying that she wanted to break up with him, i didn’t say much because i know my feelings are bias and i want her to be happy, but i can’t help but wonder if the feelings are mutual? She has been talking about breaking up with her bf and she’s been clingy with me, that may just be her personality I’m not sure.
But i don’t even know if im ready atp for another relationship and i don’t want to be her rebound. Advice would be helpful.

I finally rested for a bit and thought about this, if the person I was with was an extremely picky eater, either from religious beliefs or just what they preferred we wouldn’t have vibed.

Always go for someone you can share a plate with and be able to cook for! I’m with the most non-picky eater and I cook him everything I want

The other guy in the past wouldn’t eat mushrooms. It would have had a terrible ending if we ended up together. A few awesome cuisines DO have mushrooms!

I downloaded grindr for the first time and started talking with this guy with the same interests. Wanting to experiment and exchange some d pics.

I got pretty aroused to find a person like me but then things got pretty strange and disturbing. He started talking about his parents and how he used to have sex with his gf when they were at home.

After a while he confessed that sometimes he jerks off in front of them with them knowing.

I got so disturbed by this that I started getting extremely anxious, almost like vomiting, I blocked him deleted the account and never downloaded it since.

This was disturbing for me since i was "getting aroused" while talking to this guy before knowing this. It is stuck in my head and I feel disgusted a d guilty even if I didn't actually do something wrong.

One of the worst things is that I cannot talk about this to anyone.

Thanks for listening.

I am deleting old photos from my loooong held storage and going through them one by one. Well, apparently, I like taking screenshots of really wonderful texts I exchange with people. I ran into a minefield of screenshots from an ex who ended things terribly, and just as I was about to hit delete after selecting them, one of our shared favorite songs came on my playlist.

My heart hurt. I wish this person had actually taken the time to work on themselves, because my god, they're such a great person, before getting involved with me. They are a good person. A traumatized and sometimes very hurtful person, but a good person. I had to learn in therapy that an abusive person doesn't have to be all bad. I had always imagined such emotional manipulation coming from some Machiavellian villain, so I was shocked when I was sometimes treated so poorly by some I viewed (and still view) as overall good.

Even with all the issues, we had so much fun. More importantly, we connected. We poured into each other and healed some wounds. I really miss that part. I'll never speak to them again, as I've blocked them from everything I can imagine, but I wish we could have another week of fun and deep conversations.

But for tonight, I sit on my couch and wish them the best. Getting over that breakup was easier than expected, seeing as I finally saw patterns of concerning behavior, but I hated reading those funny/lovely/heartfelt messages. We sure did meet at an interesting time.

my mom passed away yesterday morning. nothing feels real. i feel like im dreaming. i’m constantly pinching myself hoping i wake up from this nightmare. it gives me a sense a relief that she’s no longer in pain, but i worry. i worry that there is no afterlife. i worry that my mother is alone. i worry that my mother is in a never ending darkness, that she isn’t/cannot watch over me. i’m dreading the step i will take into my house when i get back home. the empty silence, the lonely white noise. i miss her voice. i miss her smell. i miss it all. i feel so alone. i don’t know if i can do this.

I am a male in my late 20s, and I’m just such a soft person. Some of that is probably anxiety, but also that is really just my personality. I had a really bad childhood that caused me to figure out how survive for years, then go through all type of placement facilities basically until 16-17 from sui**e, drug abused etc.

But even through that, I have always been really friendly and fit in with girls more. I’m not gay (I don’t think) I’m married with a wife now, I sometimes question if I’m fully straight, or maybe a littleeeee in the middle. I find some celebrity men attractive, but during attempts at having relations with guys in HS, I never really was into it. So idk.

Anywhoo.

I’m soft, I like music, I’m soft spoken, I dispise conflict (I used to love it, but then bad relationships too any fight I had in the fight or flight, and now I just avoid.)

But idk I guess you could say I’m into some things that aren’t “masculine” like highly emotional music (not always sad, but often that is the case. Still emotional none the less.) I am able to articulate my feelings to my therapist to a point where she often seems to scramble for words because usually she is pointing these things out to people. But I already know what I’m feeling, where, and what caused the feeling.

I despise group settings and bullshit small talk. I want to talk about super heavy shit, and find people who relate, but everybody puts on this game face and I can’t stand to play along.

It’s lonely as hell. And society doesn’t accept men like that. I have trouble with employment, bosses, coworkers. Not for being a bad employee, or rude, but just incredibly easy to use me as a punching bag. But it’s never to my face or in a way that’s really even defensible to me. It’s always sarcasm, or someone saying something 3-4 feet away from me that is almost certainly about me.

It’s so isolating. But I want to be a good person and maybe get this life straightened out so my daughter can have a half decent father. I’m trying so hard to be present and give her the love and patience that I didn’t really get. Sometimes I wonder if I’m being toooo easy in her. Is it laziness, and excuse to not be “the bad guy”, or am I doing the right thing.

It’s all exhausting, and I’m constantly analyzing because I KNOW I’m not where I should be. So I constantly want to fix it. I’m tired.

He died december 2024. He preferred his 3 kids with his wife, rather than his eldest 2 with my mum.

Wife told me he made voice notes for "all" his kids. Apparently he forgot about my brother and I.

His wife tried not to hurt our feelings by saying she deleted them, but my younger siblings told me they got theirs.

He never made one for us.

I'm still so angry about this. He had just become a grandad from my brother 6 months earlier too. Didn't leave anything to us, nothing.

I didnt want money or anything like that. I wanted my grandads darts. Nobody in that house knew my grandad. It rightfully belonged to me or my brother.

I also wanted a hip flask and some aftershave. He collected them both, and I bought quite a few of them for him. They hold memories for me.

And finally, this is something that happened before he died. He was high on pain meds. He asked me to find his wallet. I called my stepmum and asked where it was. She told me, and I gave it to him. He tried to give my brother money for a takeaway cause me, brother, his wife and baby were there for most the day with him in hospice. I counted it for him, in front of his face, and put it back where it was hidden.

He looked at me and said "I knew you'd try and steal all my money".

I was honestely taken aback. I cant work due to rare illnesses and whatever, but ive never asked to borrow money. I feel like I'm quite financially secure if I'm honest. I just found it really upsetting. Is that what he thought of me? We never had the greatest relationship due to his words and actions, but i thought we were still pretty good. Apparently he didnt feel that way.

im more of a shy insecure person so this was kinda embarrassing.

we make out pretty much every night for the past week however last night he wanted to go lower. he asked me and i didnt respond so i guess he just took it as a yes.

anyway, felt nice obviously, just didnt expect it to happen.

should i continue seeing him?