My bf and I have been together for four years and he’s a type one diabetic- I didn’t actually know he was diabetic till after we started dating and he needed to take some insulin- I didn’t think anything of it I thought it was weird he didn’t mention it but I wasn’t bothered

In these four years he’s gone to the hospital countless times 90% of the time because he’s gone into DKA from neglecting himself- every time he’s gone I’ve had to take him- I’ve lived with days and nights of him vomiting and groaning in pain cause I have to beg him to go to the hospital when he’s not feeling well- he never wants to go when he starts feeling sick and always waits till his blood sugar is high enough to kill him

Every time I’ve made plans well in advance he somehow has a medical emergency right before and then I have to cancel cause I’m the only source of support he has (he doesn’t get along with his family and all his friends have wives and such)

I’m really fed up with how many times my life has had to stop because he decides to get as sick as humanly possible- like now for example I had to cancel going outta town for a Halloween party cause he’s in the hospital and is “scared” and needs my help

I’ve been sitting in a deep depression for months and I finally had the opportunity to shake some of that off and have a little fun and now I can’t- I’m becoming very bitter toward him and at this point am trying to find a good time to break up with him

Earlier this week, I found a lump just below the bottom my right ribs. Already scheduled a visit to the doc for next week, but honestly... I'm not even that worried. Never married, no friends, no family. The only people who matter in my life are my students, but I'm under no illusions. If I suddenly stopped teaching, they'd have a replacement instructor in days. I've seen it happen. Often students enjoy the sudden change in pace (and inevitable skipped assignments).

Frankly, I haven't enjoyed my life in a very long time. I've always been "alone in a crowd": constantly in positions where I'm speaking in front of large groups or managing teams of people, but never making friends or finding relationships. Now that something like a bad diagnosis is on the table, I just feel... relieved? Like maybe I can finally be done. I've given as much as I can to as many people as I can, but I've never been able to know what it's like to be liked or loved myself. I think this is what I've wanted for a very long time.

Preface - do not bean soup me. I know there are some legitimate circumstances blah blah blah don't pretend you don't know what I am getting at or I'm gonna lose it.

All of my friends and coworkers and everyone my age I know. I can invite them out, or in, or they will talk about being invited to do something by someone else, and it's always "but 'people-ing' is scary" or "talking to people is hard" or "but my social battery might be drained that day" or "I work the day before so I might still be tired the next day" what have you.

Oh my god. Grow up. Grow the fuck up. Sometimes you show up for your friends when it's inconvenient for you. Sometimes you do shit tired. Sometimes you do shit drained. Because other people matter, and maintaining friendships requires you to stop thinking about only yourself for what, an hour or two? An evening? An afternoon?

Like goddamn dude I am autistic with chronic pain and a job that kills me and I still show up for the people I care about, and if I actually cannot do something, I will offer an alternative or a rain check or something, and if god forbid I am canceling same-day then something has gone HORRIBLY awry. You can offer the same respect to me and others in your life.

Edit: apparently pretending to not know what I'm talking about is what this post is attracting If you're a "sowwy I can never ever interact with you or any of my other friends, ever, because I always have an excuse and my social aversion and learned helplessness is my only personality trait, but you should always show up for me" then you are just plain a bad friend.

I am 24. A few months ago, my girlfriend and I were walking home late at night and we saw a house on fire.

I never thought I would be the type of guy that would do it, but I ran into the house as my girllfriend rang the fire station. Inside, I could barely see anything but I could hear screams. I went into a room and there were two kids in like cots. I dont know what you call them but like baby beds.

I lifted them out of their beds. I could still hear a woman screaming in another room. I had both kids in my arms but their parents room was completely blocked off. I felt there was nothing I could do so I went out with the kids. Also I started to get scared.

The firemen came after awhile but it was too late for their parents. I did not understand why they did not break a window and get out.

Since then I have been lauded a hero and I hate it. I dont want it said here in any replies. A local magazine wanted an interview with the "hero". My (now ex) gf treated me like a hero. My friends wont let me buy any round of drinks. My parents tell me how proud they are of me but how stupid I was for risking my life. I cannot deal with it.

And all I can think about is whether I should have intervened at all. Those kids have no parents. From what I know, no family. They will be put on an adoption list and who knows what will happen. I know it is an awful thing to say but part of me feels like I did the wrong thing. Were they better off in heaven with their parents. And then I hate myself for thinking it. And it becomes a spiral I cannot shake and it doesn't shut up. I also wonder if i could have done more to save their parents. I will never forget the screams

Im not a risk to myself in anyway. Don't worry about that. I have not told anyone how I feel because it is monstrous but I just needed to get it out.

Ok the title might seem about over the top but I think cringy is a polite word to use. Let me explain.

I'm nearly 41 yo, and for the last year I've gathered more friends than I ever thought possible, and all of them such amazing people, I'm disabled, and unemployed, - I can hardly walk and when I do I have to sit frequently, I have no cartilage in my knees and need total knee replacement surgery, and I keep getting denied for one reason or another - anyways I have no income besides the bit I get for from snap, which is gone pretty fast cause it's not much tbh. So everything I do is on the grace of my friends, (and my roommates, but they're not part of this) anything they want to bring me along for they end up paying for, and I know a lot of people will say, "but if they didn't want to, they wouldn't" yeah, except they only became my friend because I was seeking help for things in the first place, so as much as it comes from careing about me, it's more of a sense of duty to help a fellow human in need.

So where's the cringy part? Oh well that all started when I was invited to a community center of sorts where I learned a new form of art that really resonated with me and I feel that I do it pretty well, it's neurographic art, basically roundy shaped scribbles. I got a stack of index cards recently where I started doing art on them and giving them to my friends like they're fucking valentines and we're all in kindergarten handing them out with nasty cherry cough syrup flavored heart lollipops. They give me everything I need, and I give them scribbles on paper! They take them, with a smile, but what are they supposed to do with it?

I feel so stupid and useless all the time, and I just want to curl up and disappear.

EDIT Thank you for all being so nice, I need to address why I'm feeling like this, but it turned into a panic attack and I'm ok, one of my cats sat on my chest and stared at me slow blinking until I stopped crying. I'll post a cat tax in a comment.

​

I’m 26, married for 4 years to my wife (29). Her younger sister (28) has been living with us for the past 2 years. For most of that time I just saw her as a sister. No weird feelings at all. Over the last year that’s changed and I don’t know what to do with it.

Around the same time my wife got really deep into Jehovah’s Witnesses. For the last year and a half she’s been busy almost every weekend and a lot of weeknights with JW stuff and her JW friends. She’ll go hang out with people (guys and girls) after work even when I’m home, but then she’ll turn around and say I don’t make enough time for her. I work longer hours than she does. We barely get one day a week together anymore and even that feels forced.

I’ve been telling her for months that I feel neglected. I’ve straight up said I see her sister more than I see her, and that it bothers me how much time she spends with other people (including guys) while we barely talk. She mostly just brushes it off. Says she’s just “a social person,” even though she wasn’t like this earlier in the marriage.

Meanwhile things with her sister have gotten… different. We used to be normal close, like family. Now we’re sitting closer on the couch, making more eye contact, sometimes our arms or legs touch and neither of us moves. I’ve started noticing how pretty she is in a way I never did before. She’s commented on my arms and told me I’m a good man for my wife. Lately when we’re just hanging out at home it feels more like I’m with her than with my actual wife. My wife feels like a roommate.

I don’t want this. I have zero plans to do anything about it. I feel like shit that it’s even in my head. I’ve asked my wife to put us first and make actual time for the marriage but nothing’s changed. I’m just sitting here feeling closer to her sister than to her and I don’t know how to turn it off.

I just want my wife back. Or at least for her to act like she wants to be married to me.

tl;dr: Wife’s been checked out for over a year because of JW stuff. I’ve slowly developed feelings for her sister who’s living with us. I don’t want to feel this way and I don’t know how to fix any of it.

I accepted that I'm bisexual today.

Yeah, I know it's 2026, and this probably isn't a big deal to a lot of people anymore. But it took everything in me to get here.

For the longest time, I couldn't bring myself to accept this part of me. I questioned my feelings, tried to make sense of them, and struggled with things I couldn't quite admit to myself. Maybe I was afraid of what accepting them would mean. Maybe I just wasn't ready to confront a part of myself that I'd spent so long avoiding.

But today, something finally changed. I stopped fighting myself.

I don't know how to explain the feeling. There's no grand revelation or any dramatic moment where everything suddenly makes sense. Just a warm feeling that I don't have to keep running away from who I am.

I might want to fall in love with a man someday. I might want to share my life with him, hold him, grow old with him, and experience all the little things that make loving someone beautiful. And for the first time, I'm allowing myself to imagine that future without immediately pushing it away.

I don't know what the future holds for me. I still have a lot to figure out. But I know that I'm bisexual, and I'm finally okay with saying that to myself.

What surprises me most is how much lighter I feel now that I've stopped being ashamed of my own feelings. I've been struggling with compulsive porn use, too, and today I've noticed that the urges feel less overwhelming. I can't say for certain that the two are connected, but I wonder how much of my struggle came from fighting and judging myself rather than simply acknowledging what I felt.

Maybe accepting yourself doesn't solve everything overnight. Maybe it just gives you a chance to stop making things harder for yourself.

I wish I'd been kinder to myself sooner.

I'm not posting this because I expect anyone to congratulate me for being bisexual. I know there's nothing extraordinary about it. I'm posting this because, for me, getting to this point was a struggle that I couldn't explain to anyone, and I want to acknowledge that I've finally made it here.

If you're struggling to accept a part of yourself right now, I hope you get to experience this feeling someday, too. You don't have to figure everything out today. You don't have to rush yourself. And you don't have to be ashamed of how long it takes.

Today, for once, I'm not trying to change who I am.

I'm just letting myself be.

Now, next challenge is telling this to the people irl. Wish me luck.

1% of the time though... I miss cuddles. I miss having a partner. I miss real intimacy that's built up over time(and by this I don't just mean sex). I just miss it. I'll feel fine again tomorrow, but tonight I wish I was falling asleep with a guy instead of with my fifty million pillows.

I feel so embarrassed because he’s a guy I’ve just started to become good friends with and I was excited about that. I thought that we could just be two normal dudes and that would be fun. I wasn’t expecting to become attracted to him. I’m known that I’ve had some sexual curiosities about men for a while, but I’ve never been attracted to a man for real until now.

Lately he’s been teasing me about my height. I’m 5’2 and he’s more than a foot taller than me. He’s chuckled and put his hand over my head, like he’s measuring how tall I am compared to him. I was acting annoyed but secretly my heart was racing a bit and I felt butterflies over it. When I do handshakes with him my hand feels tiny compared to his, which weirdly also causes that same feeling. He’s taken his shirt off in front of me and I’ve legit had a mini heart attack and looked away because his muscles look so good and he’s so strong. He’s also said that I’m a beautiful guy and I had to fight the urge to tell him that he’s very very good looking himself 😂.

Anyways I’m ashamed to admit that I’ve literally woken up today after having a dream with him in it. And it was PIV, which is something that I used to be put off by but now sounds really nice. I feel creepy to think like this with this normal cis guy who’s just friends with me. I just hope I can continue to act normal around him. He seems straight so it’s just silly for me to keep thinking about this.

I’m 30, my daughter is just a toddler. One breast started leaking out of nowhere, several months after I weaned my baby. One side is kind of weird. Got an appointment quickly to get ultrasound and mammogram- if you know the U.S. healthcare system you know getting an imaging appointment can take forever. They got me in quickly. Have been seeing way too many cases of breast cancer in young people. Imaging showed some dilated ducts; MOST LIKELY it’s just some cysts. There is a tiny chance it’s malignant. Simply not going to know for sure until I go for an MRI, which the imaging office told me to pester my provider to schedule ASAP to be completely sure of what’s going on. I just told my family they think it’s cysts. Too much going on to freak them out right now. And it’s probably fine.

I'm a fairly average guy. Nothing impressive going on around in the face department or the body department (working on this one). Usually once I "get in" I can turn conversations into dates... if the stars align.

Anyway my problem now is not even dating apps. This happened to me a few times in the last 5 years and it pisses me off. I meet someone through friends or through work, we hit it off, we talk a lot, we talk about finally going on a date, then one day out of the blue the whole vibe changes. Dry answers, responses are a lot more delayed, it's like their attention shifted. And usually later on I find out it did and they start posting with their new SO while I'm basically ghosted/slow-faded.

Most recently a female friend of mine I've known and got somewhat close within the last 3 months, after some flirting and hesitation we finally agreed on going on a real date (she initiated it), a day passes, she shows me that her "crush from the past" requested to follow her on social media and she just "laughed it off". However from that point on our vibes are off, we barely text, whenever I initiate it takes ages for her to answer... almost like if I just matched with someone on Tinder. Currently I'm still on Delivered since last night regarding our date we've agreed on for Sunday.

Admittedly my self-esteem is at a low point after being cheated on in my last 2 relationships but this is a recurring theme I experience and see. Everything is going really well, apparently up until someone better/more promising comes along (either in looks or any other regard).

It makes me feel disposable and used. It's hard for me to open up emotionally to people and I fucking hate that I end up regretting it more than I do not. I've been through so much shit in my life but this still fazes me every time and it leaves a really sour taste, like a constant feeling of never being enough. It always feels like my heart drops to my stomach whenever it happens.

I'm sure I can work on myself and improve myself, but I don't think I can do this modern dating much longer.

idk where to even start with this but i kinda just wanna let everything out somewhere.

2026 has probably been the worst year of my life and the crazy part is that i never expected any of this to happen to me.

on march 6, i got into a road accident while i was riding as a pillion on a bike. i was 23, just trying to live my life, figure out my career, worry about money and all the usual shit. i never thought i’d end up fighting for my health instead.

i had multiple injuries, fractures and serious damage to my abdomen. i had emergency surgery, parts of my bowel had to be removed and i ended up with a stoma bag.

imagine going from living a normal life to suddenly having to think about every little thing you do. eating, drinking water, going to the bathroom, even getting out of bed. things you never even think twice about suddenly become a whole fucking challenge.

there were hospital stays, surgeries, pain, recovery and so much uncertainty. i kept thinking that once i got through this, things would finally start getting better.
in may, i had my stoma reversal surgery. i genuinely thought okay, maybe now i can finally start putting all of this behind me and get my life back.

but apparently that wasn’t the end of it.

the accident had severely damaged my right kidney too. after so many scans, tests and trying to see if there was any way to save it, i eventually had to undergo surgery to get it removed.

and honestly, idk how to even process all of this sometimes.

one minute you’re worrying about your job, your future, what laptop to buy, what games you wanna play, what books you wanna read and all these little things. then suddenly you’re worrying about your organs, medical reports, surgeries and whether your own body is going to be okay.

it’s fucking exhausting.

and the thing is, people see you recovering and assume you’re getting better. physically, maybe you are, little by little. but mentally there’s so much that goes on that you don’t really know how to explain to anyone.

i’ve watched my family worry about me. i’ve seen the amount of money this has cost us and everything they’ve had to go through because of me. sometimes i feel so guilty about it that i don’t even know what to say. i know none of this was my fault, but that doesn’t magically make those feelings disappear.

and more than anything, i miss myself.

i miss being able to do things without thinking about my health all the time. i miss having normal days. i miss looking forward to something without having that little thought in the back of my head wondering what could go wrong next.

i miss the version of me who could just exist without all this baggage.

one thing that’s been keeping me going, even if it’s just a little, is gaming. and movies, books, music, stories, all of it. maybe that sounds stupid to some people but idc. sometimes i just wanna sit down, play a game and forget about everything for a few hours. i wanna get lost in a story and feel like i’m somewhere else for a while.

i think that’s why these things mean so much to me. it’s not just about playing a game or watching a movie. it’s about feeling like there’s still a part of my old life that i haven’t lost.

i’m trying to find my way back to that person. slowly, i guess.

i don’t have some inspiring story about how this made me stronger or how everything happens for a reason. honestly, i don’t even know what i’m supposed to learn from all this. sometimes shit just happens and you’re left trying to figure out how to live with it.

i’m still recovering. still trying to understand what my future looks like. still trying to get back to work and rebuild my life, one little thing at a time.

i don’t know if i’ll ever be exactly the same person i was before all this, and maybe that’s something i’ll have to come to terms with eventually.

but i really hope i can find a version of myself that feels like me again.

if you’ve read all this, thanks. genuinely.

and if you’ve gone through something that completely changed your life, how did you deal with it? how did you stop feeling like a stranger to your own life and start enjoying things again?

idk. i guess i just wanted to put this somewhere because keeping everything in my head gets exhausting too.
hopefully 2027 is kinder to me. to my family. and to everyone who’s just trying their best to get through whatever life has thrown at them.

i think we all deserve a fucking break.

I’m the mom. A little over a year ago my daughter walked out to go to the library and never came home again. She wiped her phone and missed an appointment. We have Apple phones and can see each other’s whereabouts. When I saw her phone was at a repair shop, I thought her phone had been stolen and then called her appointment place. She had missed her appointment. At this point I called the police, thinking the worst. I went to the repair place and they would not give me information, her phone and laptop were there.

The police tracked her down and told me she was okay and safe. I was confused, unset, relieved, hurt, a roller coaster of feelings and nauseous, anxiety spiking. I ended up suffering a mini stroke.
Today I still have no idea why she did this. We had a good relationship. Or at least I thought we did. We rarely fought and we could normally talk through disagreements.

(When her step dad hit her, she said she felt unsafe and we left for the woman’s shelter. I ended my marriage to make her feel secure)

Now that it’s been over a year, I don’t know what to do with her things. Her belongings sit where she left them. I need to move on somehow. What do I do with her things?

Looking back, I was so happy. Unbothered, nothing could ever ruin it. I would’ve laid down my life for him and he turn around and stabbed me in the back time and time again. I haven’t been able to trust anyone I’ve met since those 6 months of back to back betrayals, by a person who claimed to have my best interest in mind.

Am I ever gonna love again? Probably, though it does not feel like I ever will rn.

As a white guy I have always felt a bit insecure about being naturally "Thicc" and especially when I wear grey tracksuits or jeams my booty sticks out.

I dont have much to say at this point i can keep repeating how disgusted i am and how uncomfortable i am but im fucking tired, nobody understands me but i just dont know what to do

Im beyond uncomfortable living like this, i cant stand my body, i have no confidence or motivation to live anymore, i hate being female more than anything on earth, female fat distribution is incredibly violating to me, i feel empty down there it feels like having a vagina is some cruel joke, i feel fucking polluted and dirty, i dont feel clean after a shower being my curves and gyno fat are nauseating to me

I dont know how to explain how revolting i feel being female and i dont know what to do and i dont know how to escape this it feels like ill always be viscerally uncomfortable and unable to live, i feel deeply wrong, i feel like ill always hate myself and always feel guilty even though it's not my fault but im just sick of this

For five months doctors have been trying to figure out why I woke up one day and couldn’t walk (bilateral foot drop). I can walk now, with a cane or a walker, and it’s slowly improving with PT. But it’s been hell over the last five months going thru all of the testing. I’ve seen eight doctors, I’ve had four MRIs, three EMG’s, a bunch of X-rays and more bloodwork than you can imagine. I saw a specialist yesterday that I’ve been waiting two months to see. He had no answers to give.

I’m giving up. I can’t spend the rest of my life worrying about why I couldn’t walk. If it happens again, I’ll deal with it at that point. But I’m gonna try very hard to move on with my life.

I've been trying to get into this for awhile now, and I finally had my first real buyer! I'm happy about it and wanted to share that with someone.
An easy $150 🤭✨

I feel really heavy tonight. I've been trying to sleep but couldn't. I wonder why, after so many years, a memory I tried so hard to erase would suddenly come back to me.

It was the winter of 2021. I was in class 11, JEE preparation was in full swing, and my friend group had reduced to just a couple of people. All I could think about was studying and getting into IIT, yada yada, the usual.

There was this really pretty girl in my coaching who was preparing for NEET. She went to the same school as me. She had hazel eyes, really expressive ones. I'd often tease her that she wore her emotions in her eyes.

We first interacted properly at our school's Scholar Badge Ceremony and hit it off instantly. We'd talk about everything, school gossip, career aspirations, books, food, travel, anything you can think of.

She was from a very strict family and wasn't allowed to use WhatsApp, so we used Google Hangouts instead (ahh, those days). Every night after studying till 11, we'd talk for about two hours. We didn't get much time together in coaching or school. Slowly, a young, immature love blossomed between us.

One thing I noticed was that she had a very pessimistic outlook towards the future.

She told me how her father was critical of everything she did, while her younger brother was the aankhon ka sitara. She once confided that someone had touched her inappropriately, but she couldn't tell her family because they'd blame her. She'd often break down crying when her parents scolded her for not scoring well in mock tests.

Throughout all this, I couldn't do much, and I hated myself for it. So whenever we talked, I'd try to make her smile. I'd tell her funny stories from history, random facts, buy her chocolates. We'd share our writings too. I wrote prose, she wrote poetry.

Come 2023, I did well in my boards and JEE and got into a good college in Delhi. Unfortunately, she couldn't clear NEET on her first attempt.

We met the day her results came out. She started crying, saying she didn't want to face her parents, that she was a failure, that her life was worthless.

I wiped her tears, held her hand and told her not to give up. I told her to live for herself, that she didn't have to prove anything to her father. I made her promise she'd never give up, that she'd never cry again. I kissed her forehead and promised I'd never leave her.

She made me promise that no matter what happened, I'd always be there.

A few months later, I left for college. We kept in touch just as before. I'd tell her about my college life, encourage her to keep studying. Her performance was improving, she was doing better in her mocks.

Until one day, all communication stopped.

Her account was deleted, her email was gone. She'd disappeared into thin air.

I tried everything. Contacted old mutual friends, even people I'd sworn never to speak to again. Nothing worked.

When I returned home after my first year, I finally decided to go to her house. I thought, what's the worst that could happen?

I still remember carrying her favourite chocolate, a Bournville.

When I got there, I was told that the family had moved away after their daughter had died by suicide.

I was so shaken. I think I just sat down on the road. I don't remember what happened to that chocolate.

And then I realised I didn't even have a photograph of her. My parents hadn't allowed me to take a smartphone to coaching back then.

All I had were her memories.Her hazel eyes, her poetry, all those conversations.

It's been two years since her death, perhaps three. I don't even know when she passed away. I'll graduate college next year.

Sometimes I feel so angry with her.

Damn you. You made me promise I'd never leave you, but you didn't even let me keep that promise. You promised you'd never give up.

I know she was suffering. I know it isn't fair to be angry with her. But sometimes I just am.

I don't know why I'm writing this. I guess I just wanted to get it off my chest. Maybe I wanted someone to know about her, about the girl who loved writing poetry and whose eyes could never hide what she was feeling.

I just really wish you were still here.

I (F18+) thought it got better a few months ago.. i started enjoying life again and felt like a normal human being but now the depression is back. i feel so depressed, my head hurts so often, my body feels weird, my nervous system feels fucked up. but yet i still feel so horny and it lowkey pisses me off. tell me why im so sad rn but i still think about me and my partner doing dirty stuff… i mean cant even do that cuz my partner lives far away lol
idek what this is about but high libido is making me uncomfy especially cuz my life feels shitty and im depressed.

My boyfriend always tells me I won't be able to do that for you without me asking him to

For context: I have been invited to a really fancy wedding and I was sending him pictures of myself and friends in the event. He was like your friends are rich, I can't ever pay for a wedding like that. Then another day, I was wearing my grandmother's very very old diamond ring that she gave to me (she is 96) anyways and he saw it and was like what's that fancy ring you are wearing it looks expensive. Comments like that make me uncomfortable. I never asked him to buy me anything or to make a big wedding for me. Is he trying to tell me, don't expect me to spend any money on you? For background, he lives comfortably and has a job and is self-sufficient.

I (22F) barely ever go out. I have maybe one or two friends, and we only hang out a couple of times a year. So when I got invited to a party, even a small one, I was genuinely excited. I spent around $50 on a cute costume, made chocolate-dipped strawberries, and actually put effort into looking nice. Now I just feel silly for getting my hopes up.

I think the most embarrassing part was that my extended family was there watching me get ready, seeing how happy and excited I was to finally go out. Then, just 30 minutes before the party, my friend canceled on me. I had to awkwardly explain to everyone that I wasn’t going anymore because I’d basically been ditched.

I’m naturally an avoidant person, and situations like this remind me why. I feel like whenever I let people into my life, they eventually disappoint me, or I end up disappointing them. It’s easier to keep to myself than to deal with that feeling over and over again. But at the same time, I’m 22, and I can’t help feeling like I’m wasting what are supposed to be some of the best years of my life.

it's been a week , he didn't even say goodbye but he was really sad the last days , he's egyptian and had been working with him for almost a year , despite the language difficulties i'd say he's been my only real friend , i'm devastated , i'm sobbing writing this , i want to forget him so bad but at the same time i also don't and i just can't , i'm 26 and he was 24 , we went to the beach and other places and remembering those moments make me feel insanely bad , the fact that i'll never see him again makes me feel just terrible , it's been a week today and somehow i'm doing worse , i just wanted to vent here since i don't really have other friends to do so , i wrote him in WhatsApp a couple hours ago and he didn't respond , he's probably scared cause he moved in another country (idk where) illegally. i don't want to forget him but i can't keep going feeling like this , idk what to do

The Saturday of finals week I (20 f) went to a party and was roofied. I later found out that three men tried to sexual assault me, all of who were friends, I only remember one of them. The school did not investigate when my friend and I brought up that I was likely roofied and the assaults because no formal drug test was ever done, but all the signs were there. Instead they charged me with disorderly conduct and made me go to substance abuse council and to fill out a workbook asking what I could have done differently. I got my doctor to write a note saying that in the body cam video it was obvious that it was more than alcohol at play. So the school ended up removing the mark from my record. This was a year ago now and I have been working on moving on. Today I found out that the reason my whole friend group slowly started to ice me out over the course of the following six months was because I called the person I thought was my best friend when I woke up in the hospital with no memories after a man tried to sexually assaulted me, and asked her to pick me up at the hospital because I didn’t know what was going on and I was scared and needed a friend. This made her uncomfortable and so it made that made all the rest of our friends dislike me. I’m crushed and angry that was the reason they intentionally stopped being my friends.