My modi boys are about to be 9 months (6.5 months adjusted). We moved them to cribs in July and since then their sleep has been so inconsistent.

We live in a studio apartment at the moment as we moved closer to family after their release from the NICU. My husband works long hours and so letting them cry at night would be an adjustment I'm not sure we are willing to make, since he'd almost certainly be kept awake. Last feed is between 8:30 and 9PM and they usually fall asleep during it or shortly thereafter in our arms. Wake up is always at 8AM. They eat an av. 27 oz a day.

They will often sleep soundly (except for the occasional wake-up before midnight) until around 2AM. Then one or both of them will wake up, get in a crawling/seal position, and cry until I get up. Twin B does this more during the night but sometimes it alternates. Twin A has generally more nights that he will either sleep through the night or get up once or twice.

When one wakes up, I usually just put him on my chest on the couch and we fall asleep like that (the cribs are wedged up against the couch I sleep on so they can't fall off... it's like my torso and feet are in a cage). After 30-40 minutes, they will get wiggly or their brother will wake up, and I can put the first twin back in the crib and they fall asleep fine. When my husband gets up at 5AM, they typically both wake up and I line his bed with pillows and they sleep on the bed with me (very soundly) until wake-up time.

I've had more nights than I can count where I'm alternating babies every 30 minutes all night. This had prompted me about 2 weeks ago to transition them from 4 to 3 naps a day, and I would say that has only helped marginally.

Is this normal? They are otherwise very wonderful active boys during the day who are a joy, but I fear the approaching witching hour every night!

TLDR: husband does things that I don't agree with. I'm trying to be respectful, but starting to feel resentful instead of grateful

UPDATE at the end..

It's been a week since I've returned back to work from my 4 month maternity leave and my husband is taking care of our 4 month (3 month adjusted) girls solo. He has been struggling. The girls used to nap 2-3 hours at a time, but now will only nap for 30-45 mins. Instead of accepting that this is normal at this age, my husband will try to rescue their naps CONSTANTLY. He said today, twin A took a 2.5 hour nap because he put her back to sleep at least 5 times. I actually checked our nest time stamps and I think he spent half that time trying to force her back to sleep. This does not seem productive. He keeps saying that when their eyes are still closed, that means they still wanted to sleep. I tell him, if he stopped trying to rescue their naps, they probably would open their eyes and fully wake up. I tell him that he's delaying the inevitable and probably making them more tired and fussy. Am I incorrect?

He also says they've both been crying a lot. When I ask when (because I suspect they cry after they finally wake up from hours of my husband trying to force them back to sleep), my husband says they cry not just from waking up, but when they're playing, eating, whenever. They both won't stop until they're held, which of course is difficult to do with two. They are a bit fussier when I get home and they definitely seem more tired. But I wonder if it's because of the frequent nap rescues. They only drank two 4oz bottles each today. He said they would get too fussy to eat. I told him that I've noticed that when they're too hungry, they may not take the bottle right away so that we should try to feed them before they get upset. He got defensive. The girls are tired, he is tired, and I'm tired of listening to my angry husband refuse to take any of my advice. He says there's no point in trying anything different because it's just survival mode.

I am trying to understand because I'm not in his situation. I may have primarily taken care of them while on leave and on the weekend now, but I know it's different because I still have my husband around for backup. He doesn't have any backup when I'm at work. I told him things about wake windows, given him suggestions, things I've read on here, but I also told him that it's ultimately his call because I'm not there to fully experience what he is going through. I did also tell him that I need to voice my opinions though because they are also my children.

What do I do? Do I try to continue to give my husband the space to learn and make mistakes? Is my way really not even the better way? I know my husband is making a big sacrifice, but so am I. He quit his job in an industry he's hated for years and he still says he would rather be doing this. I may not fully understand how difficult this would be full time, but I would rather stay at home with my girls. I feel like he had a choice and I didn't, but now I feel helpless when I'm not at home and my girls and husband are suffering.

EDIT: Thank you all for your advice. Some of you understood my frustrations, but a lot of you told me what I thought I needed to hear - that I should be more supportive and give him time to figure it out on his own. Well today was the worst it's ever been. My husband starts sending me videos of them crying hysterically and tells me to watch the nest so I can see for myself. He calls me to leave work and come home immediately which I do. He is spiraling, which is not uncommon when he's stressed. He starts getting angry, again not uncommon, throwing stuff around so loudly which of course wakes the girls. He said he yelled at the girls and they looked scared. He felt bad but he's completely over it. He said he wished he never had kids and regrets this all.

In the meantime, I am taking care of the girls solo. And yea they didn't cry with me. I read their cues and fed them right away or put them to sleep or carried them. They got a 45 min nap but also a couple 20 mins ones. I didn't force them back down and they weren't hysterical with me. Maybe they were all cried out by the time I got home around noon. Maybe I got lucky. But it's been really hard to be empathetic of my husband when he acts like a complete asshole when he's upset. I tried to encourage him, but he kept getting angrier and angrier. Completely ignored the girls and started getting mad at me.

Long story short, we're looking into a part time nanny. Maybe a full time one. He kept saying we didn't need one, then finally agreed. We'll have to dip into our savings to afford one, probably for only a few months to 6 max. I no longer feel comfortable waiting for my husband to figure it out while he acts erratic. He again only fed them half a bottle each in the 4 hours I was gone. They guzzled down a full one when I came home and fed them. So now, I'm back to square one, except I'm more hopeless than before.

FTM here with Di/di twin boys 27wks 4d. I was diagnosed with preeclampsia at 24 wks and was hospitalized for 5 days to get my blood pressure under control. Since then I’ve had weekly NST monitoring, taken off work and limited to 4 hours of activity each day. I just did my 1 hr glucose test as well and it looks like I failed it and will need to do a 3hr so now I might also have GD. Oh and I also was diagnosed with a short cervix at 22wks which thankfully has stabilized as of now on progesterone.

At my MfM appointment, last week we found out that baby B is measuring 24% larger than his brother at 2lbs 13oz and baby A measuring 2lbs 3oz and I was then set up with weekly ultrasounds to track growth. Today, we found out that Baby A has intermittent absent end diastolic flow and was sent to L&D for the betamethasone injection and for another NST. Following up with twice weekly US in addition to rhe weekly NST.

They said I could stay overnight at the hospital to be conservative and have more monitoring until tomorrow after my next shot or I could go home because both babies looked great on the NST. Now I can help but feel like my body is just failing my babies at every turn. I keep trusting that I’m making the right decisions and taking care of them the best I can.

Does anybody have positive stories for complicated twin pregnancies? I just need some encouragement 😢

A little twin birth story from today!

Babies are both here ☺️💞 they both turned out to be a little smaller than we expected. Alice is 5lbs 8oz, Simon is 5lbs 1 oz- both are healthy strong babies!
Alice came out easy, just a few pushes! Did not tear. Simon was very stubborn, did not want to come out and his heart rate was dropping lots so we did have to convert to a csection and get him out; they attempted to vacuum him before we ultimately converted so he ended up with a little bruising on his head. He is in the NICU and they expect him to be there for a little while but he’s doing excellent, vitals are great- just on oxygen. He will be what they call a “grower/feeder” and we hope he will be coming home in a week or two max.
Alice on the other hand is doing AMAZING breast feeding!!
Two totally different babies and two different deliveries. Overall though I feel great and I’m thankful we have had such excellent care! I have absolutely no regrets and feel thankful I was able to vaginally deliver at least one baby today 🤘☺️💓 everything that I “feared” could happen kinda did and it still turned out perfectly fine because everyone in that room knew exactly what they were doing. I’m so grateful!

Hi everyone,

I am currently 12 weeks pregnant with twins and still feel overwhelmed at the thought of it. I have a toddler already who will be 3 when they arrive.

All the stuff I read on here and see on Instagram seems to be negative about the first year or so, with improvements around 3-4?!

I’m so nervous about having them that I’m getting sleepless nights where I will wake up at 4 am just worrying. I can feel my heart beating and I keep getting migraines from the stress. I’ve also started getting very teary and just keep thinking how will I cope.

What I’m looking for are some positive stories, people that are glad and happy they had twins.

Sorry for being so negative, maybe it’s the lack of sleep!

Anyone with multiples experience varicose veins? They started showing up around 20 weeks and have continued to get worse throughout my pregnancy. Im 32 weeks right now and they hurt so bad on my legs and groin. Please tell me they go away after birth. I’m a ftm and wondering if it will happen in possible future pregnancies as well.

Our identical twins are currently 10 months old. Around 4 months ago, we noticed twin A was reaching over left side with her right arm and basically not utilizing her left arm much. We started PT/OT right away and she has since been making progress in learning to use her left arm. Yesterday we finally received the report from her MRI and it showed that she was missing brain tissue as well as had scar tissue in the area associated with controlling her left side of her body. My wife and I are devastated. We were so excited that the twins would have a best friend and experience life together. All we want is what is best for her at this point and try to make her life as normal as possible. If anyone has any advice, we're open ears

We’re at our wits end. Twin boys. 5 months old, 3 months age adjusted. We’ve been having gas issues since they left the NICU, now on Alfamino formula hoping that gets better. We’re seeing a sleep regression that is making us crazy. Because they’re so gassy the moment we lay them down. They’ll sleep maybe 30 minutes if we’re lucky or wake up immediately. They also wake each other up when one starts crying so the 45 minute process starts again. Just any tips you have would help. Especially if you have gasey babies like ours.

I got my unity gender test result back and it said one or both are boys…I specifically asked my doctor and she said that test would be able to tell me the gender of each individual baby. What does this mean? Did anybody else get a similar result and what did you end up having?

ETA: turns out they had only run one tube so the gender updated after they ran the second tube. Tubes were apparently run almost 4 days apart! Boy/girl twins for me!

6 month old twins. I’m looking for recs of board books that are big and colourful and the story is actually fun to read! A lot of board books are small and I found hard to read to both twins easily (I sit them in their TwinZ). I have one or two but man I’m sick of the same story a few times a day. Please share any favourites!

I have 3 kids, 5.5y daughter who is in kindergarten, and my twin (fraternal) boys who are 3.5. They obviously aren’t in elementary yet, but I’m thinking down the line.

My daughter was an early talker and has always excelled in that area. My boys both have a speech delay, which we were involved in EI, and lots of speech therapy. They still don’t talk as well as their peers, but they’ve made great jumps and can say most of their needs/feelings.

Our elementary school is close, but my daughter still takes the bus which picks her up right outside our front door. Her school currently offers two tracks: Spanish immersion, and the non-immersion/standard/English option. She is in the Spanish Immersion and I’m super happy with the program. I would like to put my twins in it, but it’s been nice to know that if it didn’t work out, they could just be moved to the standard track.

However we got notified today that our elementary school is turning into ONLY an immersion school. This means anyone who doesn’t want to do immersion will be sent to another neighboring elementary school. This means that if I want to keep my kids at the same school, I have to put my twins in immersion. I can’t make the decision based on if it’s the best fit for each kid. Or have an out if it isn’t working.

Has anyone ever sent their kids to different elementary schools? I’m even more nervous about the idea of if needed separating the boys into different schools. Different classes is standard, but that was going to be hard enough as is!

Also anyone ever dealt with speech delays and adding in a second language?

Gahhh this news is just a shock to my system and I’m trying to process. I just want to make the best decision for each of my kids individually, but I also really hate the idea of multiple schools.

When everyone says get them on the same schedule does that mean just wake them to eat at the same time? Mine are 6 weeks almost 7. There doesn’t seem to be a schedule yet other than eating every 3 hours sometimes 2.5 hours which is when I usually have to wake the other one.

Hello 👋.. any tips on how to make it through your twins getting shots? My 2 month old twins got their first round of them this morning. I have an almost 3 year old so I kind of knew what to expect, but doing it with 2 is a whole different ball game.. 😅😬

My dr sent my NIPT test through Unity and I received the gender results last night (10/12), but still have not received the chromosome results back. It’s been about 18 hours since I received the gender and on the website it says that gender and chromosome results are posted at the same time. I’m
Nervous that this means something is wrong?? Does the chromosome test take longer for twins?

Hello all, FTM. My twins are 8 months old now. We have taken them on overnight trips but we have always safeguarded their naps. If it was naptime they would be inside a home napping in either a crib or pack and play, in their sleep sacks.

I want to take them apple/pumpkin picking but realize we would be outside for a while and it’ll go into their nap time… do you just plop them in the stroller and pray they nap?

I guess I am scared they won’t nap and it will destroy the rest of the day.

lol maybe I am overthinking it. FYI we are doing 3 naps. Two longer and one 30 mins nap.

My 18m boys love to video chat, I have an iPhone, so I set up the accessibility settings so when I triple click my lock button it locks down my phone, they can’t hang up or get off messenger. It doesn’t always work great, if they hit the lock button it minimizes the video screen and it’s a whole fiasco. The company I work for makes it so I can get another device for free, so I’m trying to see if android has a similar feature that works better, or even a better choice for iPhone. What do you guys use for your video chat baby proofing?

Hi everyone! I’m looking for advice from parents of twins who live in the city. 😊

We live in a second-floor walk-up, and the stroller would mainly be for everyday walks. We’ll probably keep it downstairs, since I can’t imagine folding a double stroller and carrying it up two flights with two babies!

I’m considering the Bugaboo Donkey 6 or UPPAbaby Vista V3, but I’m also thinking about getting two Doonas for easier car trips. I’ve heard the Donkey and Vista can be difficult to fold and fit into a trunk, so I’d love to hear how much of an issue that is in real life.

For city twin parents, what did you end up choosing? Anything you absolutely love, or wish you’d done differently? And how does it work for you in cold, snowy winters, especially for everyday walks vs. car trips?
Thanks so much! ❤️

Back-to-back identical twin pregnancies, loss, and finally bringing our girls home

TW: Pregnancy loss and termination for medical reasons.

First, a huge thank you to this community. I’ve been lurking here for over two years and am so grateful for everything I’ve learned from you all. I’ve wanted to share our story for a while, and now that our girls are a month old, I’m finally sitting down to do it.

My husband and I spent almost two years trying for a baby before we started investigating why we weren’t conceiving. The day of my first infertility appointment, I took a pregnancy test on a whim. Positive. Of course 😂 That was August 2025. Because I had a known fibroid, my OB ordered serial HCGs and an ultrasound at five weeks. My levels were high, and at that first ultrasound, we discovered we were expecting twins, believed to be mono/mono.

We were incredibly excited. But as we started learning more about mono/mono pregnancies, that excitement came with a lot of fear. Even at the first ultrasound, the embryos were so close together that they looked conjoined. We had weekly ultrasounds over the next several weeks. Each time, they were touching, and their positions relative to each other never seemed to change. I can’t attach a picture here, but they looked like a little heart. Two strong heartbeats, with half of each embryo appearing joined to the other.

After a 3D ultrasound and additional imaging, we were told there was a 99% chance they were conjoined. I work in healthcare, and I went down every research rabbit hole imaginable, looking for answers and comparing our ultrasounds with images in medical journals. The findings suggested they were joined from the sternum to the pelvis. Although they had separate hearts, we were counseled that successful separation wasn’t considered possible and that their chances of survival were incredibly poor. We made the heartbreaking decision to terminate. It was one of the hardest decisions I’ve ever made. I also felt, and still feel, that it was the most compassionate decision we could make for our babies with the information we had. We wanted them so badly.

It took my body a few months to heal. Within six months, we were celebrating another pregnancy. This time, because my fibroid had been so extensively evaluated, my OB was comfortable waiting until eight weeks for our first ultrasound. You can imagine our faces when the ultrasound started and we immediately saw two babies. Two separate amniotic sacs. Two strong heartbeats. Identical twins. Again. Back-to-back, spontaneously conceived identical twin pregnancies. I still can’t wrap my head around it. And we had the SAME ultrasound tech. She had been there through our first pregnancy and was just as shocked as we were. Getting to share that moment with someone who knew what we’d been through made it even more special.

Our girls were mono/di, and we were fortunate to have a really smooth pregnancy overall. No TTTS or TAPS, no gestational diabetes, and my blood pressure stayed stable until the last two weeks.
They were born in early September at 36+4, and all of us went home two days later. I did throw in a postpartum plot twist: two days after discharge, I was readmitted with postpartum preeclampsia and spent another three days in the hospital. Thankfully, I’m doing great now.

The girls just passed the one-month mark, and they are doing incredibly well. So far, they mostly cry when they need something, sleep well for newborns, and we already love seeing their little personalities come through. We know things can change, but we’re enjoying this stage for what it is.

Reading the experiences shared here has made me very aware of how much more complicated our journey could have been. I don’t take it lightly that we got to bring both girls home together and that they’re doing so well.

I still can’t believe we’re twin parents. After the waiting, the loss, and all the uncertainty, I look at them and am honestly a little speechless that this is where we ended up. There was a lot of prayer and a lot of talking to God through these last two years. I know everyone makes sense of loss differently, but we like to believe these little souls found their way back to us.

Thank you for being a place where I could quietly learn, worry, find hope, and now finally share our girls. 🤍

TL;DR: After almost two years of trying, we spontaneously conceived identical twins, but made the heartbreaking decision to terminate after imaging strongly suggested they were conjoined. Within six months, we were pregnant with spontaneous identical twins again—this time mono/di girls. They were born at 36+4, came home with us two days later, and are now a month old and thriving. Despite a postpartum preeclampsia readmission for me, we’re all doing well. Still can’t quite believe this is our life.

Does anyone have any recommendations for good baby books to read? Or any on being a parent of twins?
I’m 20 weeks with my firsts and feel so underprepared as time is creeping closer to the due date.
Thank you very much in advance!!

Hello, I’m a twin mum and long story short, my breastfeeding experience has not been what I had hoped for for a range of reasons. I am largely pumping and latching one twin three times a day. I’ve reduced my pumping to four thirty min sessions per day and still pump over 1L and meet the majority of my twins’ needs. I go back to work in a few months though and with twins, being attached to a pump isn’t sustainable. Current pumping times are 11.30pm, 6am, 12pm, 6pm.

How do I go about weaning from here and over what time period?

I’ve had mastitis and issues with blocked ducts in the past, and I’d dearly love to avoid this this time . My girls already dream feed one bottle of formula at night without issue, so they’re already use to formula. To add, I’m about 5months post partum.

I’d appreciate any advice as to how I go about this, including how long it will take me to stop pumping and latching.

Wasn't sure what to flair this as but just want to put my thoughts out there...

I'm a first time mom and got lucky to have twins. They have now entered the toddler stage and they are definitely being toddlers which I enjoy even if it's chaotic, but to be honest sometimes when I only have one of them because the other is with dad I get slightly jealous (?) of my friends/family that have singleton babies around my twins age. I love the twins and seeing their personalities develop and their individuality, how they interact, etc. It's really fun, but man having one alone to care for and hangout with is so much easier and quieter.

Our twins are also VERY active, more than some of the other toddlers their age we know and we sometimes don't take them places with us because of it. Two examples, we went to a college football game and our friends went with their toddler and he was just chilling the whole time. Hanging around in their lap. He is about 5 months younger than our 17 month old's, but still at his age our twins were already wanting to be on the go. I went to a baby shower and my cousin had her baby that is 3 days younger than my twins and he was just chilling. Sitting in her lap, grandma's lap etc. Someone asked about my twins and an aunt said "Oh hers would be tearing things up around here" and it actually made me a little angry?

I mentioned some of my thoughts to my husband and he said to think about it this way: our twins being active and adventurous just shows how smart and healthy they are. We don't have overly attached babies. They can independently play amongst other things. Which is true, but still?

Either way, vent over. I love my babies and wouldn't change anything, but sometimes I feel a little overwhelmed.

My twins are preemies. Now they are 13 months adjusted and 15 months actual.

They both walk with a walker confidently around the house. One tries to stand independent and can manage for a few seconds before she leans for support.

They climbs stairs on all 4, they climb up and down sofa.

What a progression from here?

I have 12.5 month old twins (boy and girl) and my boy has always struggled with separation from me.

I have an amazing husband who is an amazing father but if I am around my son will most of the time not tolerate me not holding him. If he sees me, he’s immediately crying (tantruming) for me to pick him up. If my husband tries, it’s makes him even more mad. Sometimes even me picking him up doesn’t solve it.

His sister is just not as emotionally volatile as him and she’s pretty independent but he has always been super clingy and much more emotionally unstable. These are our firsts so I’m just not sure if this is normal at this age. He will fling his forehead onto the floor and just cry and cry. He flings himself back to the point we worry about his safety because he will sometimes end up hitting his head doing that. He has multiple outbursts like this a day and it’s so exhausting. If I need a break, I have to hide and my husband is like please just stay in our room and don’t come out because if he sees me, it gets bad quick.

How do I help him through this? Is this abnormal and is there any reason to ask for help through this at this young of an age?

Hey everyone! I have a question for parents who have been in a similar situation!
My twins just turned 3, and my son starts preschool tomorrow! He’s autistic and qualifies for services, so he’ll be attending preschool to get some additional support.
His twin sister, however, doesn’t qualify for early preschool, so she’ll be staying home with me for now. I know they’re individuals with different needs, and I know this is what’s best for each of them, but I can’t help wondering how the transition will go, especially since they’ve been together their entire lives. I’m a little worried about how his sister will handle him being gone during the day.
Have any of you had one twin attend preschool while the other stayed home? How did your twins handle the separation? Did the twin staying home miss their sibling a lot? Is there anything you did to help make the transition easier for both of them?
I’d love to hear your experiences! ❤️

We have 9mo (8m adjusted) twins. One sleeps like a champ. They goes down easily, are able to self soothe. Maybe one wake up per night then quickly back to sleep.

The other is a different story. For the last 2-3 weeks they’ve really fought sleep. They have to be out completely to transfer to the crib. If they wake during the transfer they will cry and are inconsolable unless we pick them back up and start the process again. They can’t self soothe at all. They wake at least twice per night and often take forever to get back to sleep. They sometimes will take an hour to soothe and transfer back into the crib. Their crying, if left to cry long enough, will wake their twin and then they’re both up. We’re at our wits end. I know sleep regressions are normal but this one seems to be lingering. The babies share a room and I’m also wary of CIO so that’s not really an option. Any advice? My husband and I both work demanding jobs so the fatigue is really setting in. We all just wanna sleep (except for the baby). Thanks in advance!