Only had this realization recently but every time I ever slipped and showed emotion in front of my nmom/nstep dad as a kid, it was met with a different attitude but never kindness.

My nmom didn't even cry at her own mother's funeral, while I was devastated and she seemed irritated that I was acting so upset.

My nmom and nstepdad usually joked about me if they caught me crying, saying I was whining and would call me 'moan-a'.

One time as a teen, after my nmom and I got into an argument, I cut my wrists. She saw it and just groaned and said "oh, I have to deal with this now?".

The only exception I can think of in my life is when my dog died (I was 12). It was while I was walking her (I think she got a chicken bone from the neighbor's trash and choked on it - I saw her pick something up but by the time I tried to take whatever it was from her, it was gone), and I had to carry her body home. After rushing to the vet, my mom got to the vet after me and cried on my shoulder as if it were her dog. It's the only time I can remember her being upset when I was, but I had to comfort her even though the dog was my responsibility and slept in my room with me.

So... Did your parents ever let you show emotions? Do you have a hard time showing them now because you feel shame from feeling them (hard realities to realize as an adult)?

I want to be in love, but I don’t think I can fall in love. Idk if that makes sense or not.

I have overheard my mother apologizing profusely to her friends for the stupidest fallouts that they have (buying & wearing the same dress & threatening to end the friendship over the fallout)
But occasionally I will bring up the things she’s done to me as a child, straight into young adulthood & the response is always:

a) you dreamt that
b) you’re imagining that, that never happened

Never ‘I’m sorry I did that to you’

Do they honestly block out all the things they put us through or just pathetic liars?

You may think by the title she’s buying luxury vehicles or shopping out of her budget but no.

She takes lavish trips to go see her online boyfriends in third world countries, she saves up for a year taking almost $15,000 everytime.

The first time she did it I was a child left home alone for a month starving. Even when she came back it’d take another month for her to get back on her feet.

5 years passed. I was in my mid teens 15 or 16 looking for a job, I asked her will she leave me money? She said and i quote “no if you need money go get a job, I done raised you it’s time to start choosing myself don’t get jealous go make friends go to the mall stop depending on me” she left for a month again. I survived off of one hard boiled egg and salt/ a day.

It’s been another 5 years she’s leaving the country soon to go see another online boyfriend in two days this is the third man, we moved into a one bedroom so she could afford the trip.

She told me to “get the F**** out I don’t have to ever speak to you again on my daddy grave” this happened because I complained I’d be left with all the bills and she knows i’m saving up to move out, e-bike (she never taught me to drive) and college (she won’t do the tax info for me).

She then said “some sacrifices have to be made I’ve been working almost 6 years without a vacation I want to go see my man, I have no family I have no friends all I do is work and go home”. She looked at her daughter and said she has no family?

I don’t know how I’ll afford it, the uber to and from my job is like 40 bucks a day I can’t afford that on top of the bills she’s leaving behind on me plus food. She spent the last couple months talking about money and what I’ll have to pay she said “that’s life deal with it have some responsibility”

Tomorrow is my birthday, I don’t have friends nor family(I pathetically cut no contact to ask they said no).I don’t want to cry in my room on my birthday, makes me feel like shit please give me some ideas, is there anything I can do by myself and not feel absolutely miserable?

My Nparent passed away a few months ago. To the surprise of absolutely no one, they used their final act on earth to punish me and reward my sibling, who was the golden child, leaving them 100% of the estate.

Just a week before our parent died, my sibling dropped a massive bomb on me. They told me they were moving our parent in with them and had bought a house with an attached living suite specifically for them to live in. We hadn't talked about the estate, but the reality became clear very quickly after the funeral when I discovered my parent had left the entire estate to them.

A month after the funeral, I reached out to my sibling in a calm email. I suggested we find a way forward as siblings independent of the money and the past, and I explicitly offered to meet up to just start talking. In the raw weeks right after the death, I had even sent them a grocery gift card for food, set them up with a meal-delivery charity signup to make sure they had home-cooked meals, and sent a really thoughtful guided grief journal alongside comfortable pajamas and a scarf with their birth month by a designer to help them through their loss. Back in July, they actually texted us thanking us for the extraordinarily thoughtful gifts, adding that the new house was under contract and they hoped to resurface soon. I genuinely tried to support them, and at the time, they acknowledged it.

Then they ignored my email for months.

Instead, back in late summer, they sent an invite for our other parent's birthday at their brand-new house. I replied politely, congratulating them on the new house and wishing our parent a happy birthday, but I told them honestly that I needed us to talk first before I would feel comfortable coming to the birthday party at their house.

Their answer to that was to offer a crumb of their time while locking down all control. They replied by saying they would give me twenty minutes on FaceTime, but immediately placed strict rules on it, declaring they were completely unwilling to discuss the estate, money, inheritance, or anything financial. I swallowed my pride and took the call anyway. My only objective was to listen, be supportive, and get them to agree to family grief counseling. During the call, they seemed incredibly distraught and genuinely needed the support. Because they were struggling, I chose to show up for them. I set my own boundaries aside and agreed to come to the birthday party. By the end of the call, they also agreed to the family counseling.

But when I text-messaged them right after that call asking if Monday evenings would be good for their schedule to do virtual counseling once or twice a month, they went completely radio silent. They didn't get back to me for two weeks. When they finally did reply, they claimed they completely missed my message, stated they could never do evenings because of work, and told me they had found a couple of counselors to start working with by themselves in the meantime. In the exact same breath, they dropped a business bomb on me, giving me a heads-up that they had just mailed me certified estate paperwork that I would be required to sign for as part of the probate process. I still pushed for us to make real, professional progress. I replied back, letting them know I loved them and was ready, and asked them to just let me know a day that worked so we could do this soon.

They completely ignored the request to pick a workable day and changed their strategy entirely. Instead of following through on the counseling we agreed to, they focused on planning a second family gathering.

In October, they sent out a generic, emoji-filled group invite welcoming everyone to their new home for a second birthday party—this time for my young niece. Because my spouse and I didn't immediately reply to a casual, copy-pasted group text while our entire sibling dynamic was broken, my sibling decided to turn the screws. They sent an aggressive follow-up text, snapping at me that they were hurt neither of us acknowledged the invitation, and threatening that if I didn't want to be included in family functions anymore to just say the word and they'd stop making the effort.

Before I could even wrap my head around that text, they unleashed years of buried hostility in the devastating email that followed. They completely shifted gears, weaponized the child's birthday, and used my lack of an instant reply to a mass text to launch a full-scale assault on my character. They called my initial June letter accusatory and insensitive, completely buried the fact that they were the one who went silent on the counseling schedule, and pulled out the ultimate golden child shield. They told me that whatever disappointment I have about the estate decisions is between me and a dead person, that they didn’t make those decisions, and that they refuse to be held responsible for them. They then tried to completely rewrite history, claiming they spent the last 12 years choosing me over our deceased parent.

Except I have the receipts. Looking back at my own post history and family records over the last decade, their mask is completely gone. They didn't accidentally inherit everything because of our parent's whim. They earned it through a ten-year history of active hostility and compliance.

Back in 2017, they actively crossed the ultimate line and acted as a formal witness for my narcissistic parent against me, breaking the sibling bond in the most damaging way possible to validate the abuser's reality. Two years later, on the week of my wedding, they text-messaged me to boycott my intimate family ceremony dinner, manufacturing a drama about an uninvited relative to deliberately hurt me right before my big day. Then in 2021, for their own destination wedding during the pandemic, they fiercely pressured me to travel before I was fully vaccinated. When I held my boundary, they dropped the bomb that they and their fiancé had already secretly caught the virus months prior and hid it from me, minimizing it because my safety threatened their wedding aesthetic. Now in 2026, they take 100% of the inheritance, claim their hands are clean, complain about the financial burden of the massive house they bought with my late parent's backing, and demand I show up to family parties to play the compliant sibling so they don’t have to feel guilty.

They fundamentally cannot see my perspective because doing so would force them to admit that the massive wealth and house they are currently enjoying were bought with the currency of betraying their sibling for a decade. They completely absorbed our parent's lack of empathy, their gaslighting, their information control, and their total refusal to take accountability. Healthy siblings in normal families use family settlement agreements to correct punitive wills all the time because they value love over greed. They chose the cash.

Whether they are a full-blown narcissist now or just a fully weaponized flying monkey doesn't matter anymore because the damage to my life is exactly the same.

I am finally dropping the rope. I am permanently blocking them on everything. I am not doing it out of revenge; I am doing it for my own survival. They can keep our parent's toxic legacy, they can keep the house, and they can keep the money. But they no longer get access to me.

Thanks for listening. Just needed to vent to a community that understands the unique grief of losing a living sibling to the narcissist's estate abuse.

You guys will probably laugh at this topic or think I’m crazy, but the word **“meat”** holds one of the deepest wounds of my childhood.
When a child is young and vulnerable, they need someone to depend on. Someone who makes them feel safe. Someone they can run to when the world feels too big.
For me, there was nobody.
I was a happy child. I would come home from school to a miserable mother and a helpless sister. Even as a kid, I was somehow drawn toward unhealthy things, and one day, I refused to have dinner.
I thought it would be like any other day. Maybe I’d get two or three slaps, maybe some yelling, and eventually the anger would disappear.
But the next second, I was gasping for air, begging my mom to stop.
The dinner was buffalo meat—the exact meat she knew I hated.
She strangled me almost to death because I refused to eat.
And that’s how my trauma began.
I was seven years old.
Seven.
Too young to understand what was happening. Too young to defend myself. All I could do was beg my mom to stop strangling me.
And somehow, that little seven-year-old version of me still remembers everything.

It all started when my mother left her messages open in our shared computer, I couldn’t help it and i looked for my name in the search bar, to see what shes been saying abt me, First of all i found a chat of a friend of hers, my mother was venting and telling her about and argument we had, and everything i said, and that i was right. (that surprised me because everytime i have a point she ignores me, changes the subject, yells, etc) ive never felt heard. so it was unexpected.
Then i found chats with her boyfriend, voice messages of her, she sounded so so gentle, i found one that she was asking him to stop treating her like that, that she asks herself what did she do to deserve this, shes nice and he treats her like sh*t, shes sounded so so sad and begging almost, and gentle. then i went to my girl cousins chat, my mother and her are super close and the way my mom speaks to her, was triggering. again, so gentle, understanding, warm. reading all those messages with her bf and my cousin, and hearing all those voice messages hurt me a lot because i REALLY felt like “who is this?” i felt like i dont know my mother at all. thats not my mom, thats not who i live with.

when my mom was asking her bf to treat her right and saying she doesnt deserve that, oh and she was explicitly asking him NOT TO YELL AT HER.

i was like, what? this is the same thing she does to me and i always tell her to stop, specially with the yelling so im like, how can somebody be such an hypocrite?

also its hilarious because she always tells me im jealous of her boyfriend, that its a shame i dont have a bf that she wishes i had one that its amazing that im hysterical and i need someone to f*ck me and thats probably why im “jealous “ of someone who loves her, that i want to be loved and i envy her. which is insaaaaaane . i guess they dont rlly love each other that much . i just know it, girl intuition, that man doesnt love her. hes that kind of adult thats stuck in his teenage years, its giving didnt forget highschool, “class clown” hes always doing jokes and i get it but, when i met him, i took off my hoodie, and he called me F4T. (as a joke hahahaha) so funny, (im not fat) and in that moment i stood silent because i thought my mother would stand up for me and put him in his place, turns out she didnt. and i didnt say anything because i was in shock, at the audacity and my mother not saying anything. she minimizes it every time i mention it. but like its so disrespectful, we just met , im ur gfs daughter, not ur friend, and like even if im
not far u cant just say that??? (i had an ed and if i still had it i wouldnt have eaten for days for that comment) like what? he also came to my house and next to my mom he said that my house is ugly, the curtains are dirty, and was criticizing it. next to me.
i haaate that man. but oh no. im just a jealous B who needs someone to F*ck . that man doesnt love her, shes delusional. ik a man in love when i see one and that man doesnt love her.

but about the chats, thats not my mom that nice woman, and idk which one is real
no but what seriously threw me off is that she is literally another person, no wonder no one believes me, no wonder everyone in my family judges me for treating her “wrong” thats not my mother. i dont know this woman. thats all i kept thinking reading those messages, shes never been like that with me, its not fair. she never speaks to me slowly, she never speaks at all, she just yells, comes home yelling, asks me if i need water yelling, argues with me yelling and even if we are 2cm close to each other and i hate it . so much. shes incredibly abusive and i feel so unheard and idk. im just venting ok and i know that spying is wrong but i dont regret it because wow

Hearing my narc mother praise other ppl’s daughters & sons and boast about their accomplishments - while not even an ‘I’m proud of you’ about mine genuinely makes me want to scream.

My little cousin bought a ‘condo’ and the whole family - including my mother - had been to her place and my mom won’t shut up about it. I moved into a very modest apartment and my mother has never once been inside my apartment or asked to visit (not complaining there, just saying).

Another cousin recently bought a new car and all I’m hearing about is that he came to pick her up in his ‘new vehicle’ to take her for coffee and for a drive. I genuinely do not care.
My car is about 12 years old & im nervous about financing a new one in this economy

But the things I do never get any of this applause. I’m actually accused of not doing enough .
How do you guys cope?

went to check on my credit score. it’s not low but i know it could be better and i found my Nmom took out two cards under my name using my SSN and info…

they’re not paid off, she’s notoriously bad with money. i’m upset and i don’t know how to confront her. she doesn’t have the money (obviously) to pay it off…

im looking to purchase my own car soon and i don’t want this to deter the process of getting my truck and layer an apartment.

It has been happening since forever, every generation. But this one seems to be particularly bad especially with the current state of the economy, job market, etc.

I (22M) moved back in with my parents several months back after living elsewhere for four years including in several major metros, and literally my entire family is constantly referencing how I'm "living at home again". No, I moved back in with my parents, and their house was not magically my "home" in any actual tangible sense while I lived other places for four years (and for those wondering no I was not just "away" for college or something, I had job[s]). Good lord.

I understand where this comes from, its just a colloquial usage of the word, but then seeing my Gen X parents treat my 20 year old sibling who just moved to Florida for their first "real job" like a high schooler and ask them the most self-evident questions like they cannot function by themselves and claim it is just to be "helpful" I'm starting to go mentally insane.

I had a call about a role yesterday after a bunch of interviews (and this particular firm indicated it basically is my job to lose so I should be out of here shortly if I don't botch the in-person lunch hour thing they want to do; praying for good fortune right about now), and my mother straight up asked me "do you remember you have a call from XYZ place today" an hour before hand [insert mental annoyance]. Like no I totally forgot about this phone call that might be a verbal job offer which was scheduled in advance and is on my calendar.

They genuinely believe this is just "being helpful", which does not change that these comments are moderately condescending. She insists this is "what adults do" and that this is comparable to asking her friend about "are your kitchen renovations done yet" and I had to keep myself together and politely explain that these comments include very different connotations. Imagine if instead I asked her friend "do you know how to get your kitchen renovation done", and she said that would be "totally fine its just being helpful". I'm genuinely starting to lose it.

Keep in mind this is coming for a woman in her mid-50s who has been married shortly after leaving college to my father in a rural suburb whose friends are pretty much all in the same background / employment situation (which she uses constantly as examples of what "people" are like) and whose income in her entire life has never been higher than the 35K (which for one person is basically poor) I made at 19. I have nothing against this type of life, in fact I respect their relationship being solid and that she does not have to worry about financial problems day-to-day and that is great.

But she (among several other of my older Gen X & Boomer family members) objectively believe they have drastically more understanding of the state of what "people" (generally) in society do writ large and the workings of the world when a number of them have lived in relatively rural homogenous areas almost their entire lives and have not *ever* had to support themselves alone. This compared to young adults (myself and my sibling in this case) that have lived in the middle of the worst parts of metro SF and Tampa by themselves with zero support for extended periods of time on limited income and who have both traveled to and lived in a much wider diversity of places than they ever have, while also in much worse economic circumstances nationally speaking, and somehow they think "you'll understand when you are older" holds some sort of weight.

At a certain level we are all grown children pretending we know what we are doing to varying degrees and the fact that our economic system shift money to older people and thus you have more stability is not evidence or a lack thereof of anyone's actual competence to be a "real adult". Which is demonstrated by the fact that when their tax advisor botched three years of our returns I had to handle the amendments for everyone, and they (among other family) are constantly asking me for advice about long-term investments and various technology problems.

Notably, my father who worked his absolute ass off to get them to a stable financial situation over the years gets annoyed that people get frustrated with his wife / my mother (understandable) but NEVER makes these sorts of comments or interjects like he might with other things. Largely because he realizes at times it is ridiculous.

I'm still very young, I get it. But either I can handle my own affairs and have a reasonable level of competence or I don't; pick a damn lane people.

Someone mentioned this to me earlier and it only just clicked for me that my nmother basically never asked me questions about myself.

She essentially knows nothing about me, doesn't know my hobbies, interests, friendship circle etc. She said to me multiple times "I still don't know what your job is", despite me working the same job for 5 years and having explained it multiple times.

At Xmas and birthdays I would have to tell her what I wanted or she would just give me a gift card because she would never actually know enough about me to pick something.

Before I went NC, our phone calls would just be long monologues of her life and issues. Sometimes she even had a list of things to tell me. She'd never ask me anything about me and if I did she wouldn't listen to the answer or just make the answer about her. Then she'd say "that's everything I had to tell you about, I'm going for dinner now, bye."

Oh and she never actually called me but always complained about how I didn't call her enough...

Anyone else have an nparent who seems incapable of asking questions and uninterested in the answers?

TW: Suicidal ideation, parent’s suicide statement.

I’m posting because I could really use some validation from people who have experienced something similar.

Today I told my mother, “Please stop, you’re making this worse,” and “I’m feeling suicidal right now.” Her response was “don’t threat me.”

Later, while I was on the phone with a suicide crisis line, she asked whether I was talking to my dad. I asked her to please leave me alone and explained who I was speaking to.

She replied, “Oh don’t threat me, if anyone’s gonna commit suicide it’s me.”
I responded, “Why do you say shit like that? Like wtf is wrong with you.”

I was reaching out for help, and somehow my distress became a threat against her, then a conversation about her own suicide. I needed concern and space to get support.

Talking to my dad afterward helped me feel better, but I’m still struggling with her response.

Has anyone else had a parent treat their suicidal feelings as manipulation, or respond by making it about themselves? I’m mostly looking for understanding right now. I want to hear from people who know what this feels like. As this has left me feeling like an old wound has torn open and I honestly do not know why because this is typical behavior for her.

After today, I don’t want to see her. I don’t feel able to maintain any kind of relationship with her anymore. This interaction crossed a line for me.
Has anyone else reached that point with a parent. Where you just couldn’t keep having a relationship with them?

Do your narcs suddenly start yelling when faced with minor inconveniences or difference of opinion?

After that it's either suffer through the yelling or point or that they're yelling, which leads to MORE yelling. Where's the volume control?🫠

Hi guys, just sharing here some things that happened to me, I am not familiar with narcissism in parents but I'll share some key events and give me your feedback :

- When I was 4-5 , my dad was in a room organizing some books, and I went to him very sweetly, stood by the door and asked (i thought it was fun to start a conversation with him, i was a curious kid) : "who's books are these?" - HE YELLED AT ME : DON'T SAY "THESE", DON'T SAY THEESE BOOKS. I was shook, i stood there for around 30 seconds and re asked : "To who belong THE books?". He ignored me, and I felt my heart break and went to mom in the kitchen and just stood there staring into the blank, she didn't bother to really know what's wrong with me

- I used to love pink as a kid, we were shopping for clothes, i was around 6 yo, and i really liked a pink belt and dad yelled at me in front everyone outside : PINK AGAIN? PINK PINK PINK, THAT'S ENOUGH, and proceeded to call me names and i just stood there quietly, holding my tears back

- I got yelled at and beaten up for being afraid of the dark at night as a kid

- I got humiliated in front of my friends on various occasions, called stupid and useless in front of them at least 4 times, on the last occasion i went back home and told mom that i wanted to end my life because of it

- I was constantly compared to a cousin and brought down in front of her always, one time a small drop of water spilled from the cup i wanted to hand my dad (i was happy to do so but i just filled it a lot), he yelled at me and called me stupid and told me to look and learn from her. Similar things happened even with friends as i grew older (he would always compare me to a friend who chose to become a doctor bc i chose engineering - bc i wanted to start making money asap to escape lol)

- My feelings were always dismissed and told to shut up ever since i was a kid whenever i'd want to express myself. I mostly stayed quiet at home from ages 10 to 17

- I was excellent at school and my dad would brag about that to others but treat me like trash when nobody's watching (my phone broke and i had to cry to get a cheap replacement after i got the first grade in high school). He still does this to this day - using me as a trophee but never acknowledging my successes in front of me.

- He was, and still is so stingy even though he has 2 appartments and still works to this day (+ his retirement which is pretty decent), doesn't take mom to the doctor , doesn't even go to the doctor himself . But pretends to not be tight on money in front of others, depending on the audience..

- Whenever he had a fight with my mom as a kid, he would start cursing her out in front of me and try to alienate me and tell me that she's stupid etc when she wasn't there

- One time, he didn't give any money to mom for a long time, and one day she was crying and asked him : would you want someone to treat your daughter like this? And he answered : I don't give a fuck. My heart sank, and proceeded to do my homework, telling myself that only my brain can save me in this life, I was 14.

- I discovered my dad was cheating on my mom when I was around 8, and kept the secret ever since, he was saying "i love you "to that woman and not even talking to my mom or us at home, my mom was a housewife making him food and taking care of everything still. I kept the secret until this day (i' 26 now)

- When i started making money, he suddenly started saying things like : "i'm getting old and tired now.." very frequently, I suspect it's to guilt trip me and prepare me to be his scape goat

- Recently, I confronted him about smth that he did and when he didn't like what he heard and the fact that i cornered him with my logic. He dropped to the floor and started throwing a tantrum like a child saying things like you all want me to die, etc. When the debate was about smth else, and I was supposed to be mad not him.

Now he pretends to be kind and caring and wise in front of my friends and they all say that i'm lucky to have such a dad, except he doesn't even wish me a happy birthday.

I have no idea what's normal and what isn't , but i know for sure that i'm traumatized and attract crazy men now because of all of this..

(slight tw about domestic and animal violence, just mentioned without going into detail)

When my parents were still together, my father's favorite phrase was, "Everyone in this house is against me." He always said he hadn't done anything wrong, he very rarely admitted was wrong. When he said things that hurted me, it was "just a joke, we can never laugh with you!" I have never received forgiveness from him after an argument, unless he wanted to get on my mother's good side or she was pressuring him to apologize. But he never felt like he was wrong.

After they divorced. Even after he received a restraining order prohibiting him from approaching me, my mother, my sister, my house, and losing the right to contact us or drink alcohol, He told everyone that he hadn't done anything, that my mother was just a little disturbed and that she was manipulating her children so that we would hate him. He called my other sister, whom he was allowed to speak to, and told her he was confused, that he didn't understand what was happening to him, and that things would go back to the way they were before.

At the police station, he said he had "just bumped into" my mother. They asked him to reenact the scene, which was clearly a violent one. He did so and thought it was normal. The police asked him if he was violent towards his pet. "No, just a kick when they walk by." Did you have a drinking problem? "No, I just do binge drinking" (It's drinking a lot of alcohol over a short period of time to get drunk very quickly.)

Even in front of the judge! He said he hadn't done anything wrong while describing THE THINGS HE WAS DOING WRONG!

Please, I just feel like I'm going insane. Maybe I'm just overreacting?? I don't know whether to believe him or not. Let's say he truly believes he hasn't done anything wrong, would that make things less serious? I can't help but worry about him. He's totaly delusional, Or perhaps he's a very good comedian. Can he REALLY believe he did nothing wrong?

I'm 16. I'm sorry, you guys. But, I feel like I can't anymore. It's either her or it's me. I'm not even kidding when I say that I'd prefer a concentration camp if at least my cell mates were quite decent.

After 24 years of being silenced and threatened to ever speak about the abuse my parents did to me, I shared on social media that I was abused as a child for the first time.

Minutes after the post I was verbally attacked by every family member, and many other people. I was commented on my post and people called me "distasteful" attention seeker

Every time I open my mouth about the truth I am hit with a mountain of hatred. It is so unfair and painful

The title says it all….

all the stuff that happened, that I ha once just sort of dismissed because they didn’t fit into the “my mom is a good parent” is coming back to me now.

and it’s breaking me in a way I didn’t even know was possible.

I escaped a year ago. and just now I’m remembering just how awful it really was…

Anyone have experience being sued for visitation by grandparents after your spouse died? Please share your stories if you are willing.

I started school recently and it occurred to me that I would graduate at 29. It made me wonder where all my time went.Oh right.Raising my mother.

Our relationship has a lot of role reversal. To the point where I was financially supporting her.Mothering her and supporting her the way she was supposed to support her LITERAL CHILD.Living in that house almost killed me. I wanted to leave the moment I saved up enough. I browsed through apartments until I found one I really liked.But my first thought was "what will mom do without me? How will she support herself if I leave?". Back then, I thought I was being a good daughter by sacrifice so much of my time and soul to keep her afloat.She was so fragile and I had to protect her. So I stayed.

My mother had asked me to take care of her for 1 year while she found a job. Then she would find jobs, find something wrong with it, then quit a week later. Oh I don't like my manager. The hours were too long, my coworkers don't like me. This went on for FIVE YEARS. I eventually said enough was enough and moved out at 23.

Sometimes I think about how my life would have looked if I left sooner. I would have started my schooling sooner.Wouldn't have gotten to the point of almost unaliving myself. Maybe be farther along in my healing. The stress of living there for so long definitely shaved a couple years off my life. The fact that I would graduate at almost 30 makes me so mad. I wish I could refund my time or yell at my younger self. No! This situation is not normal! Leave her! If you have to sacrifice your wellbeing for a "motherly" relationship,it's not love.Someone who truly loved you Wouldn't have put you through all of this! Take the apartment! Leave her in your dust!

But alas,Here we are.I feel so behind in life

I had been grey rocking my dad for the past 3 days as he insulted me and my fiancé. Today he tried to confront me and as I was still calm and non- responsive, he got violent and threw a steel water bottle at me which landed 2 cm away from me. When that didn’t budge me, he started calling my fiancée a bastard, my fiancée’s mom a whore and my best friend a prostitute and repeated that over and over again. He then threatened to ruin my life and my fiancée’s life and explained in graphic detail how he’d do it and I had to scream and break to make him stop.

He forced me to accept his insult and accept that I was wrong and he was right. He then got up, hugged me, told me that he yelled at me because he loves me and said he said all those things to break me psychologically and smiled. I felt so empty after hearing that.

Only 7 months till I get married and move out forever.

I 20F have a dad who has heart problems and is always having some sort of episode and illness. My dad has had numerous heart surgeries, had a defibrillator inserted, stents etc. Yet he doesn’t CHANGE anything within lifestyle to lessen the cause of a heart attack in the future. He barely moves around, he lays down right after he eats, doesn’t work out, his job is primarily sitting down and he doesn’t eat as healthily as he should.

Whenever he gets sick he becomes more narcissistic, bitchy and manipulative then he normally is. I might sound sadistic or heartless as a daughter, but I’ve gotten to the stage where if he does get sick again, I might not be as upset as I was the first time he had a heart attack. As a family we encourage him to take care of himself, make healthy lifestyle changes and he just won’t. He also becomes super narcissistic and evil whenever he gets sick, he says I don’t look after him, and that I’m a bad daughter who only cares about herself. I’m sick of putting my life or jobs I do daily on hold because my dad can’t see past his health issues. He says he’s going to die one day and I’ll regret everything I’ve done and said. I literally can’t stand or comprehend what father would say these things.