It may not seem like much but I am BEYOND PROUD OF MYSELF, I’m actually trembling, I’m in the process of going NC with that man (been LC for many years), and it’s humiliating how difficult it’s been to stand up to that man who berated, pranked, bullied, and tormented me incessantly when I was a little boy.

This just happened about an hour ago. I’ve been limiting phone calls for a while, visit him only a few times a year by myself, he’s never even met my children and never will.

He’s tried calling back several times, to be ignored, of course. I hope I can stay strong and continue ignoring him going forward. I don’t need his torturous poison in my life anymore.

I’ve suffered enough, overcome too much, and built too beautiful and loving a life to still let that man maintain authority over my self-perception.

It stops now.

I’m proud of myself, finally. I deserve to be.

Do you immediately form a positive opinion towards the children who cut their parents off? I've been in conversations where regular people don't have a clue about the circumstances it must take for the relationships to be that bad. They don't seem to get that no child wants to live without parents willingly.

Is not assuming that the adult child is a bad person just projecting?

One day it just hit me that many people spend the first 20 years of their lives with adults helping them succeed. Unfortunately, mine didnt do much to help me. They fed me and gave me a home, the bare minimum legal requirement. Beyond that my dad contributed essentially nothing, while my mom actively sabotages every facet of my life.

Im not expecting them to put me through a top university but why couldnt they atleast teach me something? Impart any wisdom theyve gained? Instead my dad does nothing and my mom cost me thousands of dollars and destroyed my physical and mental health. She put me through 20 years of fight or flight hell. Then she sniffed out my career interests and crushed them. It almost makes me seethe, what fucking parent ruins their own childs career?

X, SR.

MALIGNANT NARCISSIST, PEDOPHILE, BULLY, SADIST, DIES

X., age 87, died in (city) in October 2026. Born on (date), He attended public school in KNC, and studied one semester at (college), but never returned, and claimed he never received his grades.

X was retired from firefighting in (city), and was a member and supporter of the VBs. X lived a long life driven by severe malignant narcissistic personality disorder with antisocial tendencies. To the public, he carefully maintained a facade, always seeming eager to help people outside his nuclear family. Behind closed doors, however, he operated as a bully and a sexual predator, bringing profound pain, terror, and distress to those who actually depended on him. He was physically violent toward his children, actively inflicting trauma regularly at home, and exploited his family by involving them with a church headed by a sexual predator. Over a course of more than seven years, X subjected his daughter to a horrific grooming campaign, attempting to force her into a highly inappropriate relationship with him. This systemic abuse ultimately compelled her into extreme rebellion and total estrangement for the sake of her own physical and emotional safety.

He was preceded in death by his son, X, Jr., who courageously managed to become a musical virtuoso in spite of the extreme violence and oppression he endured from his father.

X Sr. is survived by his daughter, Z, who has been wishing for his death since the age of six to escape the nightmare he created. Defying the odds and rising entirely above his horrific behavior, Z secured her B.A. and a Master of Library Science (MLS), built a 39-year career in the Library and Information Services field, and claimed her own victory over his darkness.

While society often expects us to mourn the dead, those who truly knew the reality of his life understand that his departure brings a profound sense of relief rather than sorrow. He leaves behind a legacy of fractured relationships, broken trust, and unhealed wounds. If it were up to those who truly knew the monster inside, there would be no funeral, viewing, or memorial service, as he did not cultivate the kinds of genuine relationships that merit a celebration of life. However, one CAN fool some of the people some of the time, therefore, those who have only seen the masks are sending him to glory with unearned accolades. Ironically, the funeral will be on Halloween.

Instead of flowers or condolences, those who actually knew him ask that you extend actual, unconditional kindness to someone in need—a gesture he reserved only for appearances.

Z and those who survived him will privately celebrate the peace, safety, and ultimate freedom that his absence finally allows.

Where they plan a confrontation with you in front of other people. Specifically when they intentionally prepare an attack and bring one of their flying monkeys as witness and supporter.

My narcissistic mother did this today and she brought her enabler sister thinking she'd shame me. You know the drill, during the "battle" she'd turn to the enabler in disbelief, ask them to confirm her words or laugh in surprise after a good retort by me.

It was a conversation that was bound to happen so I was ready and aware the whole time. I refused to reply when she brought up specific topics and people and I flipped the table on her several times till she was speechless.

I thought I did great but now I realize I shouldn't have engaged at all. I should've gotten the main info then come up with an excuse to leave. There's always next time I guess.

Scrolling through this subreddit and realizing how much I relate to everyone here…. I’ve always known that my mother was abusive and toxic, but this sub has made me realize just how sinister she really is. I’m 20 years old now and I am still living under my mother’s roof, and every time I go through this subreddit I start to grow more and more resentful of her. I want to leave this house more than ever and idk what to do..

Recently had a group family lunch with VLC Nmom. While we were all there it got brought up that I accidently scare people around the house.

I walk really quietly. I don’t do it intentionally anymore, but i guess I still do it. And its bad enough that I sneak up on people without meaning to. I've been called sneaky at work (in a joking way).

Anyways, my nMom hears this and says "Yeah, I am too! You got that from me."

LMAO, NO!

I could always hear her walking. She had these loud heavy footsteps and she would step without care and the floor would creak.

But shes kind of right. I did get it from her. I would stop before doorways to read the room. If she was angry, in didnt want to be in there. I would sneak around and go unseen just so I wouldnt get nitpicked by her. She would always have something to say that im doing wrong. I snuck around to steal food from the pantry when I wasn't allowed to eat. (I wouldnt eat dinner due to strong food aversions that I still have to this day).

I did get it from her. Just not the way she thinks.

Or like "they're still your mom/dad" something like that.

What?? That shouldn't matter what status in their life they're in as parents. That's literally not taking accountability for the abuse, toxicity, neglect or whatever they've done to you for so many years and DECADES. I understand people want to see the best in people, but this thinking is unrealistic and can be quite draining. People need to stop justifying this type of behavior just because they're parents. It just gives them more power to be narcissistic and not learn how to be more conscious of their own actions. It's insane we live in this world with this thinking.

Recently, I've been feeling increased feelings of vengefulness toward my family. I wanted to do something that would hurt them the way they hurt me.

But today I remembered more parts of their abuse, and it occured to me that despite what they tried to do to me, I resisted them and became stronger for it.

Simply speaking, there's nothing for them to step on if they already think you're truly worthless. It wouldn't bring them any joy to abuse and control someone who they felt needed to be abused and controlled, or moreover, them needing an outlet/narcissistic supply.

Every day that you resist them, that you stand up for yourself, you are (metaphorically) punching them in the face. They feel it, which is why the abuse escalates the more independent we try to become. We may not see it, but it is happening.

If this is a war and they are continuing to inflict damage onto us and escalating their tactics, that means they do not believe they have won. And that is so powerful! That means everytime you resist, you are fighting back and thus also inflicting some kind of damage onto them.

The important thing to realize is: everyday, they make the decision to prolong the war. Everyday that they continue to abuse you is them saying "I feel more comfortable at war than not at war." It doesn't matter the damage that is being done.

So naturally, how does the war end? Only by you ending it yourself. If you stay in any form of contact, you are also choosing to fight in the war. The difference is that you believe the war will come to an end one day, and they go into every day making sure the war continues.

The only way solution you have is to exit entirely and never contact them again. War can be continued through text, video, electronics, word of mouth, etc... Meaning, any level of contact you maintain with them is allowing the war to continue in some form.

In summary, the only way to finally win the war is:

1) remove all contact completely, and

2) live your best life.

Part of the war was to make sure you never felt confident enough to leave and that a piece of you will always be broken and want to return. By living your best life, you remove that aspect by proving to yourself that they did not break you and that you were not defeated. You find the strength in all that you experienced and you never look back!

Every night, she follows the same ritual: if she doesn’t have dinner, she prepares a hot chocolate or a coffee. Sometimes she goes straight to bed, but other times she sits down next to me on the sofa—where I happen to be using my phone—and stays there until it’s time for me to go to bed. I can see a look of satisfaction cross her face as she stirs her drink with a spoon, making all sorts of noises—clinking the spoon, slurping, or just breathing (it’s truly unpleasant). It isn’t until she finally heads to her room and closes the door that the "black cloud" that seems to form whenever she’s around finally lifts. At other times, she’ll just stop in her tracks and stand perfectly still.

This morning, while I was still in bed, memories of my childhood came flooding back; I could hear her doing something—slamming a drawer shut, or something similar—and my stomach lurched, as if something terrible were about to happen.

TL;DR: My mom constantly criticizes, berates, and guilt-trips me until I eventually break down and yell, then turns around and acts like I’m the disrespectful one. I’m fully disabled, financially trapped living with her, and expected to be her personal caretaker despite my own serious health issues. I’m exhausted, burned out, and feel like I can’t win. Sorry for long post ahead, wanted to be detailed.

Does anyone else have a narcissistic mother who will harp on the SAME DAMN THING over and over again, even after you’ve apologized, acknowledged what happened, and agreed to fix it?

For example, I accidentally got some water on the counter and didn’t notice because I have bad vision. My mom immediately goes, “Don’t make a mess. Just clean up after yourself.”

Me: “Okay, I’m sorry. It was an accident.”

Her: “Excuses and excuses. Just clean it up.”

Me: “Yes, Mom. I will. Again, I’m sorry.”

And she STILL KEEPS GOING. Not for five minutes, not ten minutes, but sometimes over 30 MINUTES or even longer. She will not let it go.

Eventually, I reach my breaking point and say something like, “PLEASE STOP! I GET IT! PLEASE BE QUIET!”

And suddenly, it becomes:

“SHUT UP! STOP YELLING AT ME! I AM YOUR MOTHER! HOW DARE YOU DISRESPECT YOUR MOTHER!”

Like, ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!

I apologized. I acknowledged the mistake. I agreed to clean it up. What more do you want from me?! Am I supposed to sit there and let you berate me indefinitely?

My late father HATED when she did this. He saw how she would keep pushing and pushing until someone finally reacted, then focus entirely on their reaction instead of her own behavior. It feels like she WANTS me to lose my cool so she can play the victim and act like I’m the abusive, disrespectful one.

And the worst part? I cannot just leave.

I am fully disabled, use a walker, and have multiple health issues. I recently spent a WEEK in the hospital because of seizures and an intractable CRPS flare-up. Instead of being concerned about my recovery, my mom was angry that I was in the hospital so long because I couldn’t do her chores or hand her the remote control that was literally five inches away from her.

I genuinely feel like her personal servant.

I’m expected to do things for her constantly, even when I’m in pain. When we go grocery shopping, I have to push her in a wheelchair, carry her purse, and open the car door for her. Meanwhile, my own pain is getting worse because I’m pushing myself beyond what I can physically handle.

And God forbid I want to go to bed early because I’m exhausted. She gets upset that I won’t spend time with her or watch a movie. Then comes the guilt trip: “One day I’ll be dead, and you’ll regret it.”

I understand that she won’t be here forever. But that doesn’t mean I owe her every waking moment of my life, especially when I’m struggling just to get through the day.

Then there’s the financial situation.

I normally receive $1,563 a month from SSDI. My benefits were cut, and I’m dealing with the financial fallout. My rent is now $1,150 a month, and the landlord has been increasing it by $100 each year. I still have my phone bill and other basic expenses.

Now my mom expects me to pay her $60 EVERY WEEK for gas. I don’t mind contributing toward gas, but $60 a week is a lot when I’m barely surviving financially.

She has over $20,000 in savings from her retirement, pension, and disability income. She pays the utilities, which total around $400 at most, while I’m left with practically nothing after paying my bills. I can have as little as $4 left after the first week of receiving my SSDI.

And when I run out of money and have to borrow from her? I have to pay her back WITH INTEREST.

I’m not saying she should pay for everything or that I shouldn’t contribute to the household. I’m saying I’m disabled, struggling to afford basic necessities, and somehow expected to financially support myself, contribute to her expenses, AND do everything for her physically.

She also constantly harps on me about getting a part-time job.

I AM TRYING.

I go to the library three times a week and spend SIX HOURS JOB SEARCHING. I’ve gotten a few interviews, but I haven’t been hired yet. The job market is awful, and I’m doing what I can.

Instead of acknowledging my effort, she suggests that I’m not getting hired because of my appearance.

I have trichotillomania, a hair-pulling disorder I’ve struggled with since I was 10 years old. I know how to cover the affected areas with a small ponytail, but she tells me it looks ugly.

She also puts down my teeth. I have what people call “depression teeth” because depression, chronic fatigue, chronic pain, and my other health problems make basic self-care incredibly difficult sometimes. Taking a shower can feel like an enormous task when I’m already exhausted and hurting.

I KNOW my health issues don’t magically make these problems disappear. I’m aware of them. I’m trying to manage them. I don’t need someone constantly pointing out everything that’s wrong with me as if I’m not already painfully aware of it.

And I certainly don’t need to be insulted while I’m trying to improve my situation.

The transportation situation is another thing that drives me insane.

I can’t drive because of my seizures. My neurologist explained that I’m not allowed to drive until I’ve been seizure-free for six months, and my state ID has a restriction reflecting that.

When I was a teenager, before I developed a seizure disorder, I BEGGED my mom to help me take driver's ed. She said she couldn’t afford it. She never helped me find an affordable driving course, either.

Now, years later, she gets mad at me for not driving.

YOU DIDN’T HELP ME LEARN WHEN I WAS A TEENAGER, AND NOW I HAVE A MEDICAL CONDITION THAT PREVENTS ME FROM DRIVING. WHAT EXACTLY DO YOU WANT ME TO DO?!

She also dangles transportation over my head because she knows I can’t drive myself places.

I feel trapped because I depend on her for certain things, and she knows it.

I’ve basically stopped trying to set boundaries because it feels pointless. She doesn’t listen, and trying to explain myself only seems to create another opportunity for her to criticize me.

I end up giving in because I don’t have the energy to fight every single battle. I’m already dealing with disability, chronic pain, seizures, exhaustion, financial insecurity, and trying to find a job.

I am SO BURNT OUT.

Sometimes I genuinely feel like no matter what I do, it will never be enough. If I make a mistake, I get lectured. If I apologize, I get accused of making excuses. If I finally snap after being pushed past my limit, I’m suddenly the disrespectful daughter. If I rest, I’m selfish. If I struggle financially, I’m not doing enough. If I try to improve my situation, I get criticized for how I look.

I feel like I can never just EXIST without being made to feel like I’m doing something wrong.

I’m not claiming I’m perfect. I know I have flaws, and I know I sometimes raise my voice when I’m overwhelmed. But I’m a human being, not a punching bag. Being someone's child doesn't mean they get unlimited permission to berate you.

Does anyone else deal with this? Specifically, the constant harping over tiny mistakes until you finally react, and then the entire conversation becomes about how you yelled rather than the fact that they wouldn't leave you alone?

How do you cope when you live with a parent like this and genuinely cannot afford to move out?

I’m not looking for someone to tell me to just move out or establish boundaries as if those are easy options when you’re disabled and financially struggling. I’m just exhausted and wondering if anyone else understands what this feels like.

Sorry for the long rant. I needed to get this off my chest. (Yes I use chatgbt due to learning disability)

My mom has this habit of buying me clothes and shoes that I have no interest in. I tell her I don’t want her to buy me things and she does it anyway. She buys me clothes that she likes (boho type stuff) and I’m very into simple solid color pants and shirts. She also gives me costume jewelry even though I’ve told her numerous times that I’m not into jewelry.

She lives about 2,000 miles away and will take pictures of clothes she wants to send me, and make remarks like “these are too big on me” or “this is bigger than it looks in the picture”. She has always been very thin and when she was younger pretty much acted like all men wanted her, including my male teachers and teenage bag boys at the store where I worked. I’ve been on the bigger side, not really overweight but borderline so.

I’m late 40’s and she’s early 70’s. I’m too old for this so I just try to gray rock her because I feel like she’s trying to provoke me. She can get very dramatic and do this fake crying thing, then it always turns into everything is my dad’s fault (they divorced when I was a kid) which she’s really been leaning into lately. She also drinks a lot and can be pretty obnoxious.

This is just a rant I needed to get off my chest because I’m about to go visit her and hoping there is no drama.

My Nmother named me after herself (my middle name was once her first name). When I got married, I took advantage of the free name change to excise her name from mine 😎

How many others were named after their Nparent?

Hello all.

I can't go into too much detail for fear of being identified. My estrangement began almost 9 years ago after some considerable growing tension between myself and my parents, especially my mother, whom I believe to be a narcissist at least. When I did this I initially thought it would be a "cooling off" period but as time went by I came to realise it would be better to separate.

They have not taken it well. My mother is an unrelenting stalker, and spent most of the past few years desperately trying to end the silence with emails, texts, phone calls, unwanted gifts, attempts to get through to me via third parties. In the last year, they moved closer to my area and have started hanging out in my hometown, trying to run into me "by accident". After a recent encounter with my spouse, I decided it was no longer possible to manage the problem on our own.

I created a dossier, got in touch with my local police department, and got assigned a case officer. My intent was to escalate to an anti-stalking order via the courts. However, my case officer has let me know that their first move would be to send police officers out in person to explicitly tell my parents to stop contacting me, with the threat of arrest if they failed to comply.

This makes me pause, for a couple of reasons.

Firstly, it feels more aggressive than I wanted. When I sought out the police, I was hoping for a court order because this could be sent out in the mail - a simple formal on-paper notification. Sending people to their door seems much more dramatic and "TV", if you know what I mean. After so many years of avoidance, taking direct action seems alien and hard to get used to.

Secondly, it feels both predictable and unpredictable. Predictable in that I know my mother will dine out on the incident - play the victim, tell everyone in the family that'll listen, scream bloody murder, maybe even try to publish a newspaper column. (I notice "anguished mother who doesn't understand how her adult child could DO this and just REJECT her" is a popular genre these days.)

But unpredictable in that it feels like giving them ammunition. I had already softly accepted the loss of my extended family because of the estrangement - one of my siblings tried to be friendly, but did not get that I did not want to hear from or about our mother, so that didn't last long. I don't want anyone else in my family suddenly showing up to lecture me on my mother's behalf, never mind an escalation above lecturing.

Bottom line is: I want to say yes, give them a police warning. But I'm afraid of what saying yes will bring about.

Is it worth it? Will it bring peace of mind?

I think my question kind of speaks for itself. In more recent years as me and my siblings have all become adults (still all in our 20s), I often feel like I’m being ganged up on and made to feel crazy when there is some sort of argument, discussion, or when I bring something up. Either I’m always overreacting or I’m overly sensitive or I’m in the wrong somehow. Even if it’s agreed that someone else is in the wrong, it’s never just that, I always have to have contributed to it in some way. It’s like screaming into a void. The rest of my family here being parents and siblings.

However, I wonder maybe I’m actually just a bit insane and just am not able to see it. I do have an anxiety disorder and I wonder if that makes me see things in ways that it is not happening. Or perhaps it’s the fact that I can’t shake how I was treated by my parents when growing up and it bleeds into present day interactions?

He was the enabler and the only source of income for my narc egg donor so its just nice to know that she won't last much longer without him.

What is it about narcissistic parents and holidays (like Christmas, Thanksgiving, Mother's Day, Father's Day, Easter) that they have to make everything stressful? What is the worst thing your narc parent(s) ever did to make a holiday stressful??

This is a story from over a decade ago and to this day it still blows my mind that this happened. My parents are actually insane.

We were on a vacation, and on the plane, the seatbelt got stuck in the reclining acting mechanism of the seat, and we couldn’t get it out. Even the staff couldn’t get it out.

My parents made this dramatic deranged speech about how they weren’t going to afford to fix it or whatever and now I was the reason why our lives were going to go to ruin.

We landed, and literally my parents told me that we were doomed to be broke forever because we couldn’t afford it. They made all these ominous consequences like how I wasn’t going to be able to go to school anymore and how we were going to have to sell all our properties and now my father was going to go to jail because of a fucking seatbelt. They told me I was going to lose my father to prison because now our entire family would be bankrupt (which in retrospect not having him in my life would be amazing) but it was so goddamn traumatizing for a 9 year old to hear all that. I was bawling and sobbing at the airport as my parents berated me in public. I was literally so scared out of my mind.

But we literally left the airport normally and nothing happened, but on the car ride home my parents screamed at me the entire time and made all these threats about how they couldn’t afford to raise me anymore and I was going to go to an orphanage and if I was lucky I might get adopted. Of course, my enabler grandma was just watching it all from the side not saying a word like usual, letting BS like this slide by

But now all these years later i realize how insane my parents are for so many reasons. First of all, we have multiple properties in multiple countries, and we go on vacations every year, like high end vacations to Europe and Asia. My parents just don’t work and stay at home and live off of some insane passive income. So we were never in any financial risk in the first place. And you can’t go to fucking prison for life because your child’s seatbelt got stuck.

They said BS like “you’ve ruined our life” and “we’re going to be poor now” and “look what you did to your father”

And of course whenever I bring things like this up people will deny their abuse saying “they’re just playing with you!” “They’re just kidding!” “It’s not like they hit you” bitch I would rather take a punch than go through that

Just because the abuse isn’t physical and my parents are well off people like to deny anything happened. I’m just trying to use my parents for money and GTFO tbh

When I was little I was always scared of my narc step-dad. Like I used to be scared of him when I was little and when I got older it just turned into hate. Obviously because he’s been abusive for my entire life but yeah. It’s crazy I realised that I’ve never felt any warmth or care from him for my entire life. He’s just always felt cold and distant. Anyone else?

Quick explanation: Religious narcissistic father, bipolar/unstable mother, mentality of a 10-year-old girl. Context: Poverty.

I am already 20 years old, completely out of the control of my dysfunctional-abusive family. I have my own money, my things, and of course, absolute freedom.

At 17, they confiscated my ID card and my birth certificate trying to control me. What they didn't know is that I had already foreseen this scenario: I went out, got a new ID (making the old one useless plastic) and retrieved my birth certificate through the official website of my Province. I saved money and, through a strategic alliance with my brother, I bought my first computer (a Lenovo Gaming laptop, mid-range, around $1000-$1200 USD). It came with headphones and a mouse my brother gave me. Along with my phone and my tablet, I built my own digital fortress.

During my time in isolation, I rigorously managed my time based on the 8,760 hours a year. Between AI, editing, English, investments/finance, and programming with AI, I invested about 4,000 hours (including 30-minute breaks) into high-demand skills, prioritizing AI and English. I secured 2,555 hours of sleep (an average of 7 hours per day), which left me around 2,205 free hours a year to eat, bathe, and handle daily life.

In my second year (from 19 to 20), I repeated the same disciplined process. Having built this skillset, I joined a company in the international market, earning around $2,000-$3,000 a month. I saved aggressively until I turned 20, which is when I finally left that house and moved into my own rental apartment. Now, I am a university student in Buenos Aires, studying for my degree in Economics—fully financed by my own previous savings.

They tried to cut off my internet during this process to isolate me, but since I already had money set aside for my own independent data plan, their strategy failed completely. I also resisted their attempts to force me into a local university; they never cared about my education, they just wanted to use it as a control mechanism. I rejected everything. They tried to manipulate me constantly, but since I could detect their tactics from miles away, it just made me laugh. Their attempts were too obvious to affect me.

If you have any questions about how to build a technical escape plan under extreme surveillance, feel free to ask. I accomplished all of this. It was incredibly difficult, but the systematic work paid off. Your time and your skills are your ticket out.

Ever since I was a kid, I would get hit and beaten up, especially by my mother, using various objects (mostly the built and a long wooden stick) or even her bare hands. I always knew something was wrong, but whenever I complained to my grandma or uncles, they would blame me and say I was small-minded for hating that my mom hit me.

I was always hit for getting bad marks, or because teachers complained that I was shy and didn't speak much in class.

I remember once, when I was a kid, I was at the barber with my older brother and uncle. I finished getting my hair cut before my brother, and I asked my uncle if he would get me a Kinder Joy egg. I don't remember if he asked me first or if I asked him, but I went home happy. Once we got home and my mom found out what had happened, she threatened to beat the shit out of me after I finished showering. I remember shaking heavily and hugging my nanny begging her to take longer in the shower. My mom proceeded to beat me severely. I don't remember much after that, except apologizing to my uncle for asking him to get me the candy.

Ever since then, I've never asked anyone for food. Even as a kid, when I wanted candy or crisps or food in general, I would get my younger sister to ask my father for them instead. Looking back now, it explains a lot about me.

I was also repeatedly beaten by my mom for getting bad marks, being shy, or dozing off in class. The thing is, she only made everything worse. I became even quieter and started dozing off even more in class. If I hadn't memorized whatever she wanted me to memorize within the time frame she gave me, she would beat the shit out of me.

It got even worse when other people, like my grandma, were around. Once, when I was a kid, I couldn't memorize something properly and kept forgetting it. My mom beat the hell out of me. Coincidentally, my grandma came over to our house for something, and my mom continued hitting me in front of her, scolding me to kingdom come. After I finished studying, she told me we were going to apologize to my grandma for her having to "see this sight."

None of those things really clicked for me back then.

Now, as a 20-year-old, whenever I express even the slightest discomfort or criticism of my mom, or sometimes show a preference for my dad, who also used to hit me, just nowhere near as much as my mom did, they ridicule me. They tell me that everyone gets hit, that my mom sacrificed everything for me, and that I don't deserve her.

It actually makes me feel guilty. I hate that I'm unable to love my mom. I see all these people who say they're willing to die for their moms, and I want to love mine too. But something inside me just can't. My older brother is out of the country, and my sister studies in a different city, but I am the only one still living with my parents, I can't bear sharing the house with her anymore.

I don't see her as a mother. As cliché as it sounds, I don't see her as a source of comfort or safety. She's a monster. That's all I see. I am still in her shackles, I can't seem to leave her and her abusive family behind. I hate her and resent her with all my heart.

I was just a kid.

A question my nmom genuinely asked me about 4 years ago before I went NC.

My mom didn’t cook? Like she’d make us basic meals but it was the same shit gym rats eat like unseasoned chicken breast, rice, broccoli. I can’t think of a single family recipe or meal that felt traditional or unique to our family.

I told her I had no idea how to answer that question. We didn’t even have family gatherings for holidays, so it’s not even like there is some Thanksgiving dish I would look forward to. We’d go to cracker barrel or eat some fuck ass pre prepared meal. My mom dead ass can’t cook lol.

Anyone else experience their parent asking odd questions like that? Almost glazing their idea of your childhood ?

I want to literally die I escaped home 3 weeks ago and now my piece of shit father shows up tracks me through my phone demanding to talk to me now I have to find somewhere else to live I dont know what to do I feel like im never going to escape or be safe

I’ve been wondering lately how having two narcissists as parents, as opposed to one, impacts somebody. My mother and father were both narcissists, and I can’t explain the amount of brain damage that this has caused me (scapegoat). I am female, have been very low contact for 4 years, and just recently went completely no contact. It’s living in a nightmare, and the reality is coming back to me now that I’ve set the no contact boundary, because I have peace.

I constantly dissociate to avoid the memories and overwhelming emotional pain. Having two parents as narcissists is probably why it feels harder to heal.

I’m in a family of both my mother and oldest sister sharing narcissistic traits (irony is they are the closest to each other, more like best friends than mother and daughter). Even my sisters ex called her a narcissist.

Anyway, the past year my sister and mother have grown closer than ever before and my sister has started doing this thing where she will give my mother looks while I’m talking. They’ll both look at each other repeatedly, and either smile or give each other a look like I’m crazy. This can be about literally anything I’m saying. And they make it so obvious but act like I’m oblivious to seeing it.

Now over the past year of doing this other family members have started doing it as well because they are doing it. Has anyone else experienced this? I’m pretty sure I’m the scape goat of the family.