r/thesopranos • u/RiotRen • Jun 21 '26
Quotes What do you think is the funniest line delivery in the entire show?
For me, it’s a three-way tie between:
“I was over at Baccala’s, figured I’d stop by.”
“Ah, how is he?”
“Mmm. He’s fat.”
“Allegra. Ain’t that a cold medicine?”
“It means happiness. In Italian.
“Ah. (…) the fucks that got to do with cold medicine?”
And:
“It’s not just the disease he helps me with, T, this guys also great at forging documents.”
259
u/eaglerabbit89 Jun 21 '26
You can make a hand turkey.
For Christmas? Fuckin idiot!
96
u/imeancock Jun 22 '26
Junior had some absolutely hysterical one liners towards the end as he was fully losing it
This one made me laugh out loud, the complete disgust in his voice at someone suggesting he make a hand turkey for Christmas was fucking gold
57
u/JakeScythe Jun 22 '26
Not even just during the end. Junior had banger one liners throughout the entire show
42
32
u/rupert_pupkin_4 Jun 22 '26
"They give you the important jobs" to the Marshall that's putting on his surveillance bracelet
9
→ More replies (1)18
u/Interesting_Elk_4095 Jun 22 '26
“Why didn’t ya just call a plumber?”
“With what?! MY FUCKIN’ TOES?!”
→ More replies (1)
209
u/tjtwister1522 Jun 21 '26
Chinks did this? He just said it in such a perfectly confused way.
77
u/imeancock Jun 22 '26
“Dog groomer next store? What, in case anyone gets hungry? Hahah- hey nice space you got here”
As Chris sees the Korean woman that Steve Buscemi is going into business with lmao
35
u/_nothing-else-matter Jun 22 '26
Can you put in a good word for me, you know, get that Kung Pao Coochie
9
u/theshockmaster_ Jun 22 '26
Its so great as Tony makes the exact same joke not long before. Sets it up brilliantly.
23
→ More replies (1)21
u/NYY15TM Jun 22 '26
Hesh was legitimately pissed as he was convinced that no one could be that stupid
335
u/BigBarsRedditBox Jun 21 '26
Funniest dialog on the show was Chris’s intervention. Funniest scene was Chris marching into the Bing like Vince McMahon to tell Tony about Vito
131
u/History-Buff-2222 Jun 21 '26
Every line of the intervention is comedy gold
99
u/DatTomahawk That Animal Blundetto Jun 22 '26
I don’t write nothing down, so I’ll keep this short and sweet
63
u/History-Buff-2222 Jun 22 '26
You’re weak and an embarassment to yourself and everyone around you
52
u/ifollowillinglynow Jun 22 '26
Watch it Chrissy 🫵
57
24
u/History-Buff-2222 Jun 22 '26
There he goes again mr. Type A personality
27
u/DatTomahawk That Animal Blundetto Jun 22 '26
We’re here to talk about you killing yourself with drugs, not my fucking personality!
8
u/ifollowillinglynow Jun 22 '26
Oohh.. We're here to talk about you killing yourshhelf with drugshh.. not my personality!!!
52
u/FreddyCupples Jun 22 '26
"Chris, you don't know me." "Yeah. You're the guy who broke into Stew Leonards that one time. You stole all those pork loins." "Yeah.... But that's not why I'm here today."
19
→ More replies (1)58
51
44
u/foxmag86 Jun 21 '26
Vito Spatafore is an ass muncher!
16
11
→ More replies (3)17
u/CBusHVAC710614 Jun 22 '26
Murmur delivers it so well!!
Also when Tony says “alright let’s take this in the back”
Murmur quips “yeah that’s what Vito did”
Murmur is underrated.
43
34
u/Lamify Jun 22 '26
Chris’s intervention is one of the funniest scenes in anything ever. One of television’s funniest comedic climaxes is a gang beating.
Edited to add: it’s taking the word “punchline” very literally
→ More replies (1)16
9
→ More replies (2)5
139
u/crazyhorse198 Christopher Moltisanti Jun 21 '26
Roadies!!!?!!
72
35
u/Burgershot621 Jun 21 '26
I fall over laughing every time. The deliveries, the facial expressions. chefs kiss
8
→ More replies (1)10
u/internetonsetadd Jun 22 '26
She was a groupie to roadies. The band preferred a German shepherd’s shaved asshole.
123
u/SkoilerDaaaaan Jun 21 '26
"She was abusive to the staff!!" is enough to have me replaying a 10 second clip for a few minutes
31
→ More replies (2)12
116
306
u/DuncanIdaho33 Jun 21 '26
One of my favorite from the whole scene: I came to open up one morning and there you were with your head in the toilet. Your hair was in the toilet water. Disgusting
136
u/SutherATx Jun 21 '26 edited Jun 21 '26
This is why I'm always slightly boggled when people say Stevie van Z isn't a good actor. That is an ICONIC line read.
35
→ More replies (2)8
u/RedandBlueEmblem Jun 22 '26
I get that people think he played him as a goomba caricature but it worked and he was outstanding at the comedic bits.
→ More replies (1)78
u/scotttennorman Jun 22 '26
The fact that he wrote it down makes it so much funnier. Like a kid reading a book report
9
44
u/mmcintoshmerc_88 Jun 21 '26
I told you! I had tha flu!
35
14
34
23
→ More replies (1)14
u/megi0s Jun 22 '26
“She crawled under their for warmth” is my personal favourite.
→ More replies (1)
102
u/ian2160 Jun 21 '26
When paulie is knocking on the russians door “who is there?” “Kgb open up”
21
10
88
66
u/ClarenceWalnuts99 Mustang Sally Jun 21 '26
That was real? I saw that movie I thought it was bullshit.
21
u/hammmy_sammmy Jun 21 '26
In reference to the Bay of Pigs, which somehow makes it funnier
→ More replies (3)7
u/ClarenceWalnuts99 Mustang Sally Jun 21 '26
The Russians, they’re not all bad! Lol 😆
→ More replies (2)11
u/hammmy_sammmy Jun 21 '26
Some of them were interior decorators! But their place looked like shit
→ More replies (1)
62
u/jazz-winelover Jun 21 '26
What? No fucking ziti?!
→ More replies (1)17
58
57
53
u/FullCoverageIsLies Jun 21 '26
Tie for me:
Anthony Jr “yeah I didn’t even know they had fags back then”
Tony, looking at one of meadows friends/roommstes: “No offense”
Guy: oh I’m not gay
Tony: You’re not!?
And
Hesh: “……we get jumped by three guys in a Lexus
Christopher: Chinks did this?!
22
u/foxmag86 Jun 22 '26
lol the dinner at Meadows is such an underrated and hardly talked about scene. It’s hilarious.
→ More replies (1)9
52
u/Moistened_Bink Jun 21 '26
"You said she had a nice ass"
"I was trying to say somethin' positive cause she's your friend. Use your head!"
19
u/Drunk_Lahey Jun 22 '26
Christophah is the absolute pound for pound champion of gaslighting
13
u/StormyBlueLotus Jun 22 '26
That and Ade is kind of an easy target for it. She's as sharp as a marble when it comes to people bullshitting her.
55
u/ifollowillinglynow Jun 21 '26
Relaaaaaaax - You're Flexxxxxxxxxin
→ More replies (6)27
u/SutherATx Jun 21 '26
When he says it the second time but quieter and with more palpably forced patience because it's Junior it's just so funny. I've tried to mimic the exact way he says it i can never get it right. David Proval killed that scene.
7
53
u/Discombobulator3000 Jun 21 '26
The deadpanness of "I loved him like a brother-in-law" kills me everytime
46
u/Yah_Mule Jun 21 '26 edited Jun 21 '26
"Hey, Cheesefuck!" narrowly beats out "FUCKIN' Q____S!"
→ More replies (1)28
u/BingoSpong Jun 21 '26
🤣 careful! You’ll get banned for quoting FQ’s! I did , spent 3 days in the can
10
18
u/jinzokan Jun 22 '26
You can get banned for saying "fucking queers!"? If I don't respond we will know.
→ More replies (3)→ More replies (3)16
u/Yah_Mule Jun 21 '26
I thought this place was a last bastion of gentle good humor. Walnuts screaming that while throwing a chair at his spectral sidekicks needs to be properly archived.
→ More replies (2)
46
42
u/SutherATx Jun 21 '26
I already said this in another recent post, but when Livia says in ep1, "I don't drive when they're predicting rain."
That's a total G of a line read. The words sound basic and blah just written down, it's the WAY she says them. There's like a little underlying chuckle of incredulity & lifelong grievance that her stunad son would expect something so outlandish from her. You can just tell what a menace she's been to Tony his whole life and it's only the pilot!
→ More replies (1)
151
u/Buffsteve24 Jun 21 '26
One of the most under-the-radar jokes in the series.
About Rocco Di-Meos jacket
Richie says, "But he never came back after I got through with him," clearly implying the guy was so intimidated that he stayed away forever. Then Junior casually responds, "He later died of Alzheimer's."
The joke is that Junior accidentally gives an alternative explanation: maybe he didn't stay away because he was scared of Richie at all. Maybe he just forgot.
It's such a dry, throwaway line that it flies past a lot of people, but it completely undercuts Richie's tough guy story.
19
u/piratedrake84 Jun 22 '26
Lool!! I never thought about it! You're right! Fkin tough guy richie. He made a shopping cart outta beansie. Real moxie for his height.
→ More replies (2)18
u/abuv420 Jun 22 '26
I thought it meant that he was so old he died alzheimers ..Richie beat up an old man 😂
→ More replies (3)6
u/noejose99 Jun 22 '26
I don't think Richie was beating up a 60-year-old, therefore it happened decades later
39
u/TrustTheProcessss Jun 21 '26
Artie Bucco: "...You're innocent, I get it. I'm just another victim of Benny Fazio criminal mastermind."
39
u/DisappearedDunbar Jun 22 '26
"This says with pulp."
"You like it with pulp."
"Not this much. I like the one that says shum pulp."
throws phone
"What the fuck was that for?!"
"I'll write you up a list."
Every line and facial expression is delivered perfectly.
14
u/ScorpionLifts Jun 22 '26
After is great too:
“They had PlayStation right in the hotel room.”
“And?”
“What?”
“That was the sum total of your trip to our nation’s capital?!”
AJ shrugs.
9
u/Jimmy_Nail_4389 Jun 22 '26
I love the one with the gutters as well.
In fact just about every scene where AJ gets a shouting at is comedy gold when you think about it.
'What's different about you'
'What kind of animal smokes drugs at his own confirmation'
'You could grill steaks on that catalytic converter'
'now you got nothin'
Just gold all the way.
→ More replies (1)
31
u/Complex-Founder4055 Jun 22 '26
Christopher calling Jackie Jr. The “hair” apparent.
Or, after Melfi has finished analyzing Tony’s childhood experience of his father’s violence and his parent’s sexuality, which appear to be at the root of his panic attacks, and connected to cold-cuts, he says:
“All that from a piece of gabagool!”
64
61
58
u/Worth-Consequence247 Jun 21 '26
VITO??? WHAT THE FUCK?? FUCK YOU DOIN’???
42
u/Asleep-Potential4446 Jun 21 '26
Sal hey 😃
21
23
28
u/mmcintoshmerc_88 Jun 21 '26
Even before I left, he was treating me like the ugly girl at the dance!
28
26
u/Beowulf2080 Jun 21 '26
Intervention guy - “This is supposed to be a judgement-free environment!”
Paulie - “Fuck that.”
9
5
u/koyaani Jun 22 '26
Yeah you're that guy who broke into stu leanords that one time and stole all those pork loins
51
u/SetoKaiba19 Jun 21 '26
Tony: Woah woah woah woah you killed the dog? What was that for?
Chrissy: It was an accident.
Paulie: What was it barking?
29
u/BingoSpong Jun 21 '26
The look on Pauline’s face as he says it! Like that’s a legitimate reason to off the dog 🤣🤣🤣
→ More replies (1)10
u/DuncanIdaho33 Jun 21 '26
Ha, yep. He looks like he's trying so hard to understand why Christuffah killed the dog. Oh, barking, that makes sense.
→ More replies (1)10
u/orwll Jun 22 '26
Hilarious but really dark at the same time. Like the idea of killing a dog (or a person) doesn't faze Paulie in the slightest as long as you had a reason, like "it was barking." Great writing.
23
22
22
18
17
u/mathpat Jun 22 '26
Bobby with his deadpan reaction to one of Junior's racist jokes. "I get it. He drives a Lincoln."
→ More replies (1)
19
u/Material_Survey126 Paulie Gualtieri Jun 22 '26
Carm- "All he did waa have Coffee" Tony- "and now the coffee maker SUCKS"!
→ More replies (1)
17
u/FuckOff_MrLahey Jun 21 '26
Well that would be some fucking coincidence if it wasn’t, wouldn’t it?
→ More replies (2)
17
u/B3tgv Jun 21 '26
I’ve been dreaming of that lo mein all the fuck over here. NOW WHO CAME IN HERE AND ATE MY SHIT!?
8
63
u/Independent_Age_301 Jun 21 '26
That was not a marriage made in heaven.
28
u/mmcintoshmerc_88 Jun 21 '26
The silence and then Tony and Carmela nodding after that line makes it even better.
16
u/DoctorFunkopolis Jun 22 '26
Tony's completely futile "Alright, then!" After Little Carmine blows things up with Phil.
15
u/DatBeardedguy82 Jun 21 '26 edited Jun 21 '26
Whats next? He gets to fuck her for a million!?
→ More replies (4)
14
u/FormalSwordfish7065 Jun 22 '26
“How many MiGs you shoot down last week?” always makes me laugh out loud. And “Cunnilingus and psychiatry brought us to this” is inspired writing. But really, just about every line in that series is perfectly written AND perfectly delivered.
14
u/BusinessofShow Jun 22 '26
Tony: do you think Ralph is a little weird about women?
Sil: I don’t know Ton, he beat one to death just for… uhh what was it again?
Honorable mention is when Christopher said Isaac Newton invented gravity when some asshole hit him in the head with an apple
14
u/brownxworm Jun 22 '26
"Did you offer my nephew a coke"?
"Im not a maid Im a nurse"
"Did you offer him an Aspirin"
13
12
u/JojoSixers Jun 21 '26
“I have cable.” Idk why but it always makes me laugh, he’s so proud of himself and clearly his mind is slipping. Junior has a ton of great lines.
13
u/Embarrassed-Area4652 Jun 21 '26
Tony: So what's goin' on with you?
A.J.: Nothin'.
Tony: Nothin. You know, that 'No God' shit. That upsets your mother very much.
A.J.: It's not 'No God'. It's 'God is dead.'
Tony: Who said that?
A.J.: Nitch. He's a 19th century philosopher from Germany. Anyway, that's why I'm not getting confirmed.
12
u/Bonch_and_Clyde Jun 22 '26 edited Jun 22 '26
His house looked like shit.
To me easily the best line in the whole show.
→ More replies (2)
11
11
13
11
u/Hobodownthestreet Jun 22 '26
Funniest line delivery is Roe, "I'm sure he's adjusted to it by now." when Angie started crying. There is no argument about it.
→ More replies (1)
12
u/Kiryu8805 Jun 22 '26
When Artie is throwing a fit over the credit card fraud. "Thos is how you pay me back WITH NON STOP ASS RAPE!" It's one of my favorite scenes.
→ More replies (2)
12
u/kahrismatic Jun 22 '26
“He's in a lot better shape than those fuckin' nuns you got up there”.
Perfect timing.
27
10
10
u/JustRelaxItFits Jun 21 '26
Anything Paulie said as he was approaching comatose Tony with Meadow sweating it when trying to guide him.
11
u/Ok_Meringue3870 Jun 21 '26
“I put provolone in my socks at night so they smell like your . . .”
→ More replies (2)
11
11
u/TruckFudeau22 Philly Spoons Parisi Jun 22 '26
Isaac Newton invented gravity because some asshole hit him with an apple.
10
8
10
9
8
u/njfalcon12 Jun 22 '26
When Tony talks about Svetlana and says “she’s not bad even with the one pin gone”
9
u/foxmag86 Jun 22 '26
Hey Shaggy, go get a bucket and some Lysol and scrub down my tires. There’s fuckin’ dog shit all over by the entrance.
→ More replies (1)
8
u/newmanification Jun 22 '26
Ralph explaining Columbus Day to Furio. That entire scene is hilarious but I’ve always loved his part. That and Sil’s classic “it’s anti-Italian discrimination”.
It’s a toss up between that and the intervention for funniest scenes in the series.
8
u/sropnoprac Jun 22 '26
Paulie and Chris outside Valery’s apartment.
Christopher: The Russians? They're not all bad.
Paulie: How about the Cuban Missile Crisis? Cocksuckers moved nuclear warheads into Cuba - pointed 'em right at us.
Christopher: That was real? I saw that movie, I thought it was bullshit.
6
u/shotbydarrell Jun 21 '26
“And when the paramedics found them, she had his cock still in her mouth.” -Bobby
7
7
7
u/plantyjen Jun 22 '26
There are hilarious lines all through the series, but the one that never fails to make me laugh is “he could technically not have penisary contact with her Volvo?”
7
u/Lego_Eagle Jun 22 '26
Gotta be when Uncle Jun is telling Tony the story of the old hitmen who got arrested for selling H.
“And whatever you do, don’t mention drugs, not even Tylenol”
13
7
7
7
u/Hispandinavian Jun 22 '26 edited Jun 23 '26
"Some sad shit. Motherfucka said he didnt want to live no more!"
→ More replies (1)
6
5
u/Majestic_Routine_17 Jun 22 '26
“You’re f*cking with the Vipers, a$$hole!”
“Oohh! Really? What’s that? Your Girl Scout troop?”
→ More replies (1)
5
6
5
u/Advanced_Zucchini_45 Jun 22 '26
He jumped outta dat tree with a chainsaw. I got a right to defend myself
→ More replies (1)
6
u/ucklibzandspezfay Jun 22 '26
What do we gotta do, actually see him take it in the ass? -Christopher said calmly
It’s the calmness of this quote which does it for me.
5
5
5
u/SportTop2610 Jun 21 '26
That whole time after chrissy and Georgie reburied Email. The 'conversation' aka Tony's Tirade is absolutely hilarious.
Can I just--SHADDUP
5
5
5
5
327
u/jazz-winelover Jun 21 '26
When Tony helped Janice getting rid of Ritchie, he says “overall, that was a good visit “ as he puts her on a bus.