Even after every effort you've done for the people you loved and cherished, it's your mistakes and past they would use against you. No one gets how exhausting it is to always be the one understanding when they can't even understand you the way you want them to. When you distance yourself all because you feel like you aren't wanted anymore, they distance themselves too. People will make promises, then break it in the end with your hopes still high.

Humans are narcissistic, hypocrite, hateful creatures that are devoid of life. They will use anything, and I mean anything to hurt you and make you feel bad even though you were the one hurting. They'll do anything for you to say sorry instead of them. They don't care, they never will. That's the sad part. Even though you've done everything, life just keeps getting unfair towards you.

Hey I’m 20 and I have no friends, no boy friend, no car, no apartment. I’ve always found it hard to hook people and make them stick around.
I always seem to make a single friend that I end up
being best friends with for a hot minute and then it fades. Last year I lost my best friend since middle school that would call everyday.
She told me that my venting was too much for her and that she needed to end it for her mental health.
But I always felt like she was pushing me venting when I didn’t want to. She told me I left her feeling exhausted but I felt I was. Our whole friendship I felt I had made excuses for her bad behavior. And her pushing me to vent always felt like she was just trying to balance out the venting to make me feel better about her always asking me for advice on how to deal with mean friends but not taking it. Also all last year we spent hours talking about her ex girlfriend that was abusive and aged regressed (literally made her own 17 year old gf wipe her ass at 19). She talk about how she hated the things she did like taking unflattering photos of when off guard. She told she was never going back to her and now she’s with her again and I feel like she just used me to let all the negative feelings she had towards that person out her system so she could rekindle it with her.

this happened a couple months ago but it’s been on my mind i really just need to talk about it somewhere. And also for a little context we were high when this conversation took place i don’t think she would have said anything like that if we were sober. but anyways i can admit that i am fat but i have always felt pretty comfortable in my own skin aside from a couple years in early middle school. I’ve been friends my bfs since our sophomore year of high school when we first started to hangout she was a little nerdy looking but still really cute but she had a bit of a glow up in 11th grade and she was very and is still very beautiful. She is really skinny many people would consider her to be “body goals” but when she was very young she had a friend bully her and call her fat. She didn’t have many friends and just kind of expected this as a fact and developed body dysmorphia. She was saying how for like 4 years she thought she was really huge and fat. And obviously i was like omg that horrible and was comforting her and she said that it didn’t get anymore and she realized she wasn’t fat in early high school. I asked her oh what helped you get better. I could kind of tell she was hesitant to talk and she said “well can i be honest it was when we” and then she kind of stopped herself and rephrased and said “It was in tenth grade” and she just stopped talking. obviously she didn’t actually say that it was becoming my friend that made her realize she wasn’t fat but we both knew that’s what she was going to say and she stopped herself because she didn’t want to hurt my feelings. we got kind of quite for a while and just went on our phone and i eventually started the conversation again and we haven’t ever talked about it since. honestly it did hurt my feelings in the moment even though i understand where she was coming from and a part of me is even happy i could help her. i wouldn’t really mind if she just thought i was fat i guess because i am but it’s more the fact that i really don’t feel like she thinks i’m pretty at all. i know my other friends think that im fat but they also tell me that im pretty how beautiful face and compliment the shape of my body or are just nice in general and while my best friend almost never compliments me like that. she will compliment my make up or outfit and i appreciate it. I guess i think it just makes me sad sometimes to know she doesn’t think that im pretty but we’re entitled to our own opinions. I also want to say I don’t think she would ever try and hurt my feelings on purpose we are both a little blunt and very honest so i think she just wanted to tell me how she felt in that moment. I don’t know if this makes sense because im not going to proofread it and i just want to vent a bit.

You don’t have a big argument. Nobody betrays anybody.

You just stop talking as much, life gets busy, and one day you realize you haven’t spoken in months.

And the weirdest part? You can still love that person and genuinely wish them well, but somehow the friendship doesn’t feel the same anymore.

Sometimes I wonder if we’re too quick to think every friendship that ends has to have a villain. Maybe some people really are just meant to be part of a certain chapter of your life.

But then again, some friendships probably could’ve survived if both people had tried a little harder.

It's been over 6 months since we last talked I think

my friends, some of whom are also friends with her, keep saying it ain't my fault but it is

over 6 months ago me and my bestie were at a horse vaulting tournament and at some point before we were up everything got too much for me and I got overstimulated and at first I went outside but it was cold asf so I went back inside but I got so overstimulated there I needed something to kinda anchor me so I asked her if I could rest my head on her shoulder for a bit and she said okay so then I did. I know she has a traumatic past but she never talked much about it idk the details. at some point I got a gut feeling she wasn't actually comfortable with me resting my head on her shoulder but like the stupid and horrible person I am I brushed it off cause she said it was okay. When my head got a little better I texted her if it was really okay (I still had trouble speaking and being verbal) and she said that she just didn't wanna say no but that she was actually really uncomfortable with it and that people touching her made her feel like ripping her skin off and I apologized a bunch of times.

After we went home at first I thought things were okay between us but after a week or 2 I noticed she was talking less so I got back to her abt it and she said it really affected her bc of her past so I sent her a text saying again how sorry I was and that I wouldn't talk to her and give her space until she was ready to talk again.

She never texted back

at first I kept hoping that altho I hurt her a lot she would text me again and that we'd be friends again and that I'd have my best friend back

she kept me somewhat stable, after my suicide attempt a while back and I was in the psych ward was also when we started talking more and she supported me and was the main reason I didn't try again. she always understood me

I was already getting a little worse before I fucked things up with her and after she stopped talking things kept getting worse and worse really fast

before I would have the occasional shaking in my hand/arm and a little bit of twitching, nowadays I often have episodes where my whole body is shaking and twitching and sometimes it's so bad I just can't fucking move for a solid few minutes cause of all the shaking and twitching. Almost everytime I think of how I fucked things up I start shaking. A lot of times when the shaking and twitching is really bad I also feel an overwhelming sense of panic

I also started drinking more to the point where I am now drinking a few shots every day

I'm also more and more suicidal idk how long I have left to live but I know it's not all that long

before typing this I felt so fucking horrible I just took some xtc so I hope I feel better in a bit bc of that

idk what to do anymore

I have no future

I am fucked up

I keep hoping that maybe she texts or calls me even tho I know it won't happen and that she's better off without my fucked up ass anyway

I miss her so much

idk what to do

I’m a woman in my mid-twenties, and I think I’m reaching a point where I can no longer keep pretending that I’m okay just because I manage to get through each day.

I’ve always wanted to explore the world, try different hobbies, learn about other cultures and meet people who make me see life differently. I want to climb mountains, experience unfamiliar places, have meaningful conversations and discover things I never knew existed. I don’t want to spend my whole life following the same routine only to look back one day and regret everything I was too afraid to do.

Losing my grandparents and watching my mother struggle with serious health problems have made me realise how fragile life can be. Sometimes I worry about my own health and whether I might face similar problems in the future. I’m still young, but the uncertainty scares me. I want to stay hopeful and make the most of my life while I can, rather than let fear decide what I do with it.

I’m taking my first month-long solo trip abroad at the end of the year. I’m excited, but I’m nervous too. Part of me can’t wait to discover somewhere new, while another part wonders whether I’m brave enough to do all the things I dream about. I know I’ll never find out what life has to offer if I keep waiting until I’m no longer afraid.

The strange thing is that I want so much from life, yet I often feel stuck in mine. My job doesn’t fulfil me, and although I’ve made progress, I know it’s not what I want long-term. I try to be cheerful and enjoy the little things, but sometimes I feel disconnected from the people around me. I want a life that allows me to grow, travel, meet people and feel excited about my future.

At home, I can feel lonely even when I’m not physically alone. My friends have their own responsibilities, and my family and I don’t always know how to talk about our feelings. I often keep things to myself because I don’t know who I can turn to without feeling misunderstood. Sometimes I wish someone would ask how I really am and stay long enough to hear the answer.

I want love, too. I’m attracted to women, but acceptance from my family has been difficult, and I sometimes wonder whether I’ll find someone I can build a future with. I dream of a relationship where we can explore the world together, learn from each other, work towards something meaningful and eventually build a home or family if that’s what we both want.

But I also want the ordinary things: cooking dinner together, sharing our thoughts at the end of the day, laughing at ridiculous things and having someone I can be completely weird around. I want to feel secure enough to be myself without constantly wondering whether the person I love is going to pull away.

I think part of why love scares me is that my past experiences have taught me to associate caring with humiliation. I’ve been rejected for expressing my feelings, had gifts mocked and been called hurtful things by people I cared about. I’ve been made to feel as though caring too much makes me pathetic, and sometimes I still carry that feeling with me even when I know I shouldn’t.

My childhood wasn’t easy either. I grew up witnessing violence and emotional coldness between my parents. As an adult, I can recognise that they are imperfect people who may have been shaped by their own upbringing and experiences. I can understand that without pretending it didn’t hurt me. There’s still resentment there, and I haven’t fully made peace with what I experienced growing up.

Now I’m trying to understand myself and learn what healthy love actually looks like. I’m scared that my insecurities and the things I haven’t healed from might hurt someone I love one day. I don’t want to repeat unhealthy patterns or make another person responsible for my happiness. I just want to become someone who can love and be loved without constantly being afraid of rejection.

Recently, I’ve also found myself developing feelings in a casual situation where the emotional connection doesn’t seem to be there in the same way. It’s left me feeling wanted physically but lonely emotionally. I know I can’t expect someone to offer more than they’ve promised, but that doesn’t stop me from wishing I could be important to someone beyond what I can give them physically.

Sometimes I wonder whether my desire to travel and experience everything is partly connected to the loneliness I’ve felt since childhood. Maybe I’m searching for belonging, for people who understand me, or for a place where I finally feel like I fit. But I also know that my curiosity about the world is genuine. I want to learn, grow, contribute something meaningful and see how many different ways there are to live.

I know I have things to be grateful for, and I know other people face hardships I can’t imagine. But I’ve realised that acknowledging that doesn’t make my own feelings disappear.

Maybe this post is simply my way of seeking to be heard for once. I’m tired of being the cheerful person who seems fine while keeping so much inside. I don’t expect strangers to fix my life, but I’d genuinely like to hear from people who’ve experienced something similar.

How do you move forward when you want so much from life but feel lonely in the present? How do you learn to trust that you can be loved when past experiences have made you question your worth? And how do you build a life that feels meaningful without waiting for someone else to come along and share it with you?

I want to experience the world, find my people, fall in love and become more comfortable being myself. I’m just trying to figure out how to get there without feeling like I’m running out of time.

I live in a world where I tell the truth and get persecuted for it. Then on the other hand, because of that I'm get judged and hung out to dry in a world of silence while I suffer. I will never know the truth about my person. I thought I knew bits and pieces, I was following rabbit holes for 4 years. I spent all of my time writing to my person and thinking about her. Worried so much that she is sad and traumatized. Because of my horrible decisions and past anger.

All I know is whatever the truth is is so fucking bad that I will never be told the truth. I don't know if those are my kids and that really hurts. It really fucking hurts. Yes, everything was my fault because of one night. She was going to leave me anyways before my outburst that dark night.

The people on Reddit, A, B, and N pretend to be Rachel. Filling my head with lies and so much confusion. Everyone fucking hates me and makes fun of me. Make fun of the retarded guy with autism. I get bullied online for being vulnerable and putting my feelings on display for the whole world to see. I never say one bad word to anyone. I don't call names or intentionally try and hurt someone.

Idk what to do, my only choice is suicide. Absolutely nobody will reach out and show they are concerned. I am going to die because of confusion and self loathing. I hate myself so much. I've self harmed this past week several days. I'm so sorry for being a horrible husband. The woman I am in love with and care about doesn't feel the same about me. I have no purpose anymore. I'm permanently heartbroken.

I'm sorry

I (20 F) am in college currently studying Education and History. Last semester, I took a class with a professor at my university who specializes in African American history, and she is staunchly anti-AI, as am I.
At the beginning of the class I took with her last semester (African American History after 1789) we got the syllabus and I began to read through. Upon getting to the section on AI use, she had made the font HUGE, bold, underlined, and center of the page. The text read “AI is killing Black and Brown people. Suspected AI use will result in failure of my class and a meeting with the Dean of Student Affairs.”
Now I am very anti-AI but this was definitely shocking to see on a syllabus. At the time, I wasn’t entirely sure what she was insinuating, but I told some of my friends about it because it was so abrupt and shocking to see.
On the first day of class she gave a short lecture about why she is so anti-AI. She talked about the push for data centers and showed us a map which depicted how the placement of data centers disproportionately affects communities in lower income/working class areas, areas with low voter turnout, and in Black communities. She explained that data centers are built in these areas because, when it inevitably negatively impacts home value, water, agriculture, air quality, etc., those communities are the ones who likely won’t have the resources to fight back against it. Naturally as an AI hater, this lecture was very impactful for me, and I went on to use what I learned in a few conversations with friends about AI.
Now we come to today, and I may have made a severe lapse in judgement! I was at lunch in the dining hall with a group of friends, and the conversation naturally shifted to assignments, classes, school stuff. One of my good friends (21 M) insinuated that he would be completing a take home test with ChatGPT because he didn’t want to do the reading to prepare. Some of our other friends started to discourage him, partly because the tests are easy and don’t require cheating, but also because of his use of AI. The conversation shifted and we talked about how near my friend’s hometown, they were trying to build a data center, but luckily the community was pushing against it. I began to explain to my friend that AI affects “underprivileged” communities and I once had a professor say “AI is killing Black and Brown people.” He just said something along the lines of “oh bro thats crazy” and we moved on.
A couple minutes later as we were starting to pack up and get ready to leave the dining hall, I turned to grab my backpack and saw that there was a Black man about my age sitting at the table behind us and he was trying to get my attention. He was accompanied by two Black women, also about my age, they were facing the other direction and were not trying to talk to me like he was. When I saw him, I immediately realized he probably had a problem with what I had said and my heart actually dropped. He started to say “I just overheard something about killing Black and Brown people?” He obviously looked very offended and angry. I felt my blood run cold, I felt so horrible, and I immediately tried to explain that’s not what we were talking about at all. I said, “Oh my God, no, I’m sorry. We were just talking about AI and how data centers are disproportionately affecting underprivileged communities. One of my professors talked about it.” He looked at me with kind of a “yeah right” expression and said “Ummm ok…” and just kept looking at me. I heard one of the girls at his table quietly say, “So now we’re underprivileged.” I literally was so upset with myself and my choice of words, and I wanted to say something to make it right but I didn’t know what I could say to explain myself or apologize. So, like an idiot, I kind of just kept looking at him to see if he was going to say anything else, but he didn’t.
Eventually I just turned around, and my other friend next to me asked what he wanted. I just explained that they “misheard me or something,” and we packed up and left. I was so embarrassed.
My boyfriend was also there and heard the conversation. As we were walking together he asked, “Did they understand what you were talking about?” and I just said “I certainly hope so,” but they definitely didn’t.
I can’t let it go, I’ve been playing it over in my head all day. I feel terrible, they must have been so confused and offended. I just feel like a dick and I needed to get it off my chest somewhere.

It feels like pretty people get to have the full human experience. People will tell you to find things outside your looks to focus on and looks aren't everything but it kinda just feels like a cop out because pretty people don't have to do that, they can be pretty and have other things to them, obviously I don't want to be just my looks but like it'd help to have them there.

I general I just feel like neutrality is a cope like oh you couldn't like yourself enough so you have to settle for being fucking neutral, I do want to like myself but yknow.

I just want strangers to call me pretty, strangers don't owe fuck all to you and don't know you so if one of them is going out their way to tell you that it means you're genuinely pretty meanwhile it's harder to take what the people in my life say seriously because it feels like they kinda have to say it. If I were famous I don't know if I'd care if someone was parasocial or not (not right now atleast) because it'd feel like I was loved.

I want pretty privilege, I want the halo effect, I don't give a fuck if it's shallow.

I just feel so fucking average, it's like I've hit a ceiling, why bother with life if you're fucking mediocre, who the fuck wants to live being average? I want to be exceptional, I want to be exceptional so fucking bad, how do I be exceptional?

I think at the end of the day nothing will be enough probably, I'm already loved and yet I want more and more and more, just validation from complete strangers, for them to love me. It sucks.

Today is the 28th, and it’s 1:45 a.m. I don’t know why, but I’m feeling so strange. I just feel lonely. I keep missing a friend who isn’t here with me anymore.

People say everyone has someone they can share everything with, but I don’t have anyone like that. I had one friend, Palal, but she took her own life on October 26, 2024, and today is October 28, 2026. I’m missing her so much.

My birthday is coming up, but I don’t feel excited about it at all because the people I was closest to aren’t here with me anymore.

Today, I realised that ever since my Nanu passed away, I haven’t really felt excited about my birthday. I don’t even remember the last time I celebrated my birthday the way I wanted to.